Losing a part of me

The last couple of days I have found I am a bit weak at times during the day, even when I am taking my meal replacements when I am supposed to. I suspect the ridiculously long days with almost no break in between is a contributing factor. I know that I am able to get by without an issue on the 900 calories (plus my usual pot of coffee) per day because I have done it before – I was doing just fine before I went to Dallas, and I did it just fine for several days after returning from Dallas. I think it is the grueling schedule that is starting to get to me. I was offered a daytime contract for next week which I turned down because they wanted to pay me a very low amount. My reasons for turning it down were because I did not want to undervalue myself, and I did not want either the company or the broker to think that I was going to have a fire sale on my rates. I am glad now that I turned it down for another reason… I need to catch up on my rest. This week is hard on me, and knowing that I would be signing up for the same grueling schedule for two weeks in a row… I made the right decision. I did joke with Leslie that I turned it down because I had a haircut scheduled… but it was definitely more than that.

I am happy about one thing though. Monday and Tuesday I was lecturing from 9:00am through 10:00pm without any real break. Yesterday afternoon my daytime class finally started doing labs, which means that between the lectures, I do get a bit of a respite from speaking.

We are counting down the days again. In exactly twenty-eight days I will be flying to Dallas, and once again I will be with my wife. I know that we truly miss each other when we are apart… even though I suspect I occasionally get on her nerves when I am always there! It is my plan to not book any daytime classes for the two weeks that my trip span – I am there for two days, spanning Thursday to Sunday – because while I will have to teach Monday, Wednesday, and the two Fridays… at least I will be able to spend most of my time with her and not in front of a class. I am turning down those two weeks of work so that I can spend as much time with my wife as possible.

I am excited that I have booked my appointment with the tailor for their next visit to Canada. March 1^st I will go to get measured, and then (with Leslie on video chat) I will pick out a few new shirts, pants, vests, and probably a sports jacket. One of my main goals at the very beginning of this journey was to need a new wardrobe… and custom-tailored shirts and jackets are just what the doctor ordered. By then I will at least be under 280 lbs., and while it will hopefully not be the last time I shrink out of my wardrobe, I suspect it will be my penultimate time. I did write on Day 2 in My Weight Loss Goals that: ‘When I have lost 100lbs I will be changing out my wardrobe again… Goodbye 2XL, hello XL (and the size 40 (0r 38) pants.’ Well, I have lost over 100lbs., and I am in my XL shirts and Size 38 pants… but now I want to modify that goal from over a year ago. I have, as I mentioned before, changed how I dress for work. Gone are my polo shirts and pullovers. I wear a jacket and tie every day, and I feel great about that. While I do have several suits, shirts, pants, and a sports jacket that fit me, I want to start planning for my next fifty pounds. I will be picking upbeat shirts that suit my style, and after yesterday’s experience wearing my vest, I plan to integrate at least a couple of those into my wardrobe. I want to look great for my classes and for my wife… and for myself as well. There are costs involved with losing weight, and I could spend that money on t-shirts and off-the-rack clothes… or I can spend a little more and really be stylish.

The bathroom scale threw me a bone this morning. I lost .2 lb. from yesterday (and the previous day). I know I have to be patient, and that every ounce dropped is progress. Still, I really do want to get to the finish line… at which point I will be jogging in place for the rest of my life. I know I have to be realistic, and to set realistic short-term goals. For the next month, I am setting the following goals:

1. By March 1 (the day I go to the tailor) I would like to weigh under 280 lbs. so if I can lose five pounds in three weeks I will be there.

2. By March 9 (the day I fly to Dallas) I would like to weigh under 275 lbs. so that I can at least have another noticeable difference when Leslie sees me.

3. During my ten-day trip to Dallas (during which I will be back on my modified program) I would like to gain no more than two pounds.

That will take me six weeks out from today. If, on March 20 (the day after I fly home from Dallas) I weigh under 275 lbs. then I will be happy. Looking at my spreadsheet comparing 2020 to now, that would have me under five pounds behind my pace from my previous journey. I am being conservative with my goals for now, and hope that next week, when I can get back into the gym and start moving again, my current stagnant pace will pick up some more. Until I see what results I get from that, I am going to stick with these very conservative hopes… but I will not fall off the program!

It is raining this morning. HRF Princess Sophie took one look outside and planted her paws just inside the threshold. While it is warming up significantly today, the rain will be constant all day. The winds will be picking up in the evening, which might impede my tentative plans to enjoy a cigar on the balcony with Leslie. We will see, but that might have to wait for the weekend. I am hoping that she (HRF) does not get too antsy during the day and lets me take her outside during one of my two short breaks… my lunchtime will be taken up by my appointment with my therapist, and that is very important. Hopefully as well, the neighbour might knock on my door and say, ‘can Sophie come over to play?’ for a bit. I love her and she is very well behaved, but if she steps out for a few hours during the day I will not be upset.

Two things that I have been doing differently from all of the other times I was dressing up is that I am wearing undershirts every day, and as soon as I take my shirt, jacket, and/or pants off, I hang them up properly. These two steps are significantly reducing how often I have to get them dry cleaned. With that said, I do plan to take all of my shirts except one, and all of the pants (which is only three pair) to the dry cleaner this evening. When I get them back, I want to come up with a system that will let me track what I have worn when and how many times. During a five-day class, I want to make sure I am not repeating my outfit. I know that with my sport jacket that will not be avoidable, but the shirt and tie combination will be much easier to rotate. I do have another sports jacket (which I decided to wear this morning, midway through this paragraph) which I can include, but there are a few reasons why it is not among my favourites… not the least of which is that it is off the rack from Sears. I cannot believe that I, of all people, and turning into a clothes snob! My sister, who used to make fun of me for wearing logo shirts always and looking like a walking advertisement, would be shocked. There is the odd occasion that I miss having her in my life.

Okay, the plan for today is to stay on track. How many times have I said that? I am thrilled that for the last month I have done just that! I weigh seventeen pounds less than I did a month ago, but during that time I transitioned from my modified program to the full-fast program, and there was the expected initial sharp drop, which will now be followed by the slow and steady decline. If I lose the conservative two pounds per week then I will achieve my abovementioned goals. All I have to do is stay on track.

Have a great day folks!