Losing a part of me

My next appointment with my doctor is one week from today, and I have a couple of things that I need to discuss with him before I continue on the program; rather, whatever I end up deciding with regard to the program, I need to discuss them with them. I am not concerned that my weight is likely to be up from my last visit – rather, it is likely going to be the same, as I had lost a few pounds before regaining the few pounds. There is a reason I made the decision at the beginning of this journey to be monitored regularly by my physician; most of our meetings have been progress reports, but I know that it is impossible to lose this much weight without changes to the body, and while most of those changes are positive, there was bound to be one or two negatives in there. Welcome to Negative #1.

(I am also interested in the results of my ultrasound, but that has been an issue for months, and is not nearly as urgent as the other things.)

When I sat down to write this entry, I was feeling a bit dejected because I did stick to the plan yesterday – I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and a piece of fish with cauliflower for dinner – and I still gained a tiny bit of weight. I would have mentioned that I did enjoy a gin and tonic with my cigar last night, but that was the only change. I had even had a bit of a bowel movement in the morning, which has been the case almost every day. I had eaten my cereal and was in the middle of my coffee when the urge hit… I went to the toilet and had the first really substantial BM that I have had since the hemorrhoids started. I would normally never get onto the bathroom scale after having my breakfast, but I made the exception. Even having eaten, the weight that I had gained from yesterday was reversed. It is a relief to know that if I eat like I ate yesterday I might not lose weight, but I will not gain weight either. If that is what my maintenance will look like going forward, then I will be able to keep the weight off when I am where I eventually want to be.

I met a really interesting man yesterday. He is a member of the Facebook group that I run for cigar lovers, and since he lives in this city I decided to reach out and connect with him. We sat at the lounge for three hours enjoying cigars and conversation. What makes him so interesting is that he is a Southerner who is quite right wing (I am a political moderate) and a devout Christian (I am Jewish)… and we sat and had long, respectful discussions about issues on which we do not agree, but we did it respectfully. It is so wonderful to know that with all of the extremists in this country (and in my own) who refuse to listen to the viewpoint of the other side, two people who do not agree can have respectful discourse and enjoy each other’s company. He and I will definitely be staying in touch.

I hope to get back into running today, or at least walking. I have a few things that I do need to get done before that happens, but if I can head out for an hour this afternoon, I will be quite pleased with it. I know that had I been able to do so the last few days I would not have gained nearly as much weight as I have. The blister on the bottom of my foot is still… there; while I feel it, it is not painful as it was the last couple of days. I will make a gametime decision on that; if I decide not to go today, then tomorrow I will absolutely be hitting the trails (so to speak).

My plan for today is to eat reasonably. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and will have a salad for lunch. Dinner is still up in the air, but Leslie and I will have something nice. This evening is the last night that I can eat chametz before Passover starts. While the holiday only starts tomorrow evening, it is customary to stop eating anything not ‘kosher for Passover’ around noon tomorrow… and knowing how bad the breakfast cereals I have been enjoying are for my weight, I will cut that out as well and make an omelet or something. I have always loved breakfast cereals, but I will be better off when they are an occasional indulgence and not a regular part of my diet. There are many aspects to the weight loss journey, and one of them is changing my habits and how I see different foods.

Have a great day folks!