Losing a part of me

I did something stupid yesterday. I stopped for peanuts not once, but twice. The first time I stopped, I picked up $1 worth of them after collecting my pendant from the jewelers, who had called earlier in the day to let me know it was repaired. The second time was on my way to Taekwondo. I don’t know why I was still hungry after my third meal replacement of the day (and a handful of peanuts to boot) but I was, and I did not want to find myself lagging at Taekwondo. I picked up another $1.25 worth of peanuts, eating half of them on my way to the school, the remainder on the drive home from the school.

I did something smart yesterday. Rather than returning home, peanuts forgotten, and preparing my fourth meal replacement of the day, I decided that the peanuts had been my fourth meal replacement of the day. I lit up a cigar on the balcony and called my wife. It was another lovely date inside the dreaded Rectangle Zone. In thirteen days, we will be together again. For now, we do what we have to do.

When I set out for my jog yesterday, I was hoping for more than I accomplished. In the end, I pulled up after just under 6.25km and walked the rest of the way home. There are just days like that, and I am not disappointed in myself. Since returning from Dallas, I have jogged or walked just under 40km, which discounts my walks with Princess Sophie because I do not start my exercise tracking for those walks. How could I be disappointed by that? I have a webinar that I have to deliver this morning, after which I will hit the road again. I will try for more, but if I can only do 5km then that is 5km more than I was able to do just a few short months ago.

Jogging

• Distance: 6.23km (502km)
• Duration: 47:51 (39:00)
• Average Pace (Min/km): 7m40s (7m45s)
• Steps: 7,500 (6,100)
• Calories burned: 633 (653)
• Average cadence (steps per minute): 156 (156)

My friend came over for a cigar yesterday, and the two of us marveled at our progress. The day that he took my Before Picture I would swear that the two of us together would have tipped the scales at over 850 lbs. We figured out that together we have lost about 300 lbs., and we look and feel so much better for it. He is a good friend, and when he had a mini stroke in November I was truly scared. Yesterday afternoon we sat on the balcony and enjoyed a cigar, talked about life and everything, and realized that with our progress, we would be around to do that for a lot more years.

Occasionally I will step onto the bathroom scale at night. I do not save the record, but I know that whatever I weigh before bed will be on average two pounds heavier than what I will weigh in the morning. It is not often that the numbers at night are lower than they were that morning, but that was the case last night. At 11:30pm my weight matched my best weight ever from March 31. Imagine, I thought, how I would feel if indeed I dropped a couple of pounds overnight? Well, it was not a full two pounds, but I was 1.6 lbs. lighter this morning than I was yesterday, putting me solidly back into my best weight ever category. It feels amazing knowing that I weigh less than I have in over twenty years! I want to keep it up and continue losing weight until I am where I want to be. It would be easy to say to myself that I have done enough; to be a fifty-year-old man who weighs 250 lbs. at my height… do I really need to fit into my Army uniform? I have lost over 140 lbs.; my wife finds me attractive (and always has) … what am I trying to prove by losing another 50 lbs.? I am not going to say that there have not been times when I have thought that. No, that is not the plan. I am not moving the goalposts and declaring victory. I do not know how much more weight I will lose, but I know that I am not ready to quit. We are a little over 2.5 months from my birthday (which will be Day 533). I have told both Leslie and my friend that unless something goes seriously askew, I will be off the program by then. Will I stop losing weight at that point? I do not know. I only know that I am feeling amazing these days… despite minor aches from jogging.

I am going to lie down for an hour. I did not sleep well last night, and I want to be at least somewhat awake when it is time to record my webinar. My plan for the rest of the day is to jog, then after my shower I will spend some time on the phone with my beautiful wife. It is another gorgeous day out, and a cigar in the afternoon is not out of the question. This evening I will teach but will take the time during the break to light the Shabbat candles. I will stay mindful and focused, and with that I should be able to stay on track.

Have a great day folks!