Losing a part of me

Yesterday was my second really good day at watching myself carefully, and it paid off… at least, it has so far; two days is far to short a period to claim that I am back on track. The fact that I am down five pounds in those two days is encouraging, but it is neither a trend nor indication of a formed habit. I have a ways to go before I can claim either of those. Knowing myself, the former will come much easier than the latter. If bad habits were easy for me to change and good habits easy for me to form, then I would not have regained all of the weight that I did both times that had lost so much weight, and then regained it all back. I suppose I do not even have to look that far back! How many times have I fallen into a plateau and even slipped back before finally righting things these last five hundred and sixty-two days? I might have too hard a head to adopt good habits… and too much of an addict to shed the bad ones I have. It will only be with constant mindfulness that I will lose the weight and ultimately keep it off.

This afternoon was a real test for me. I took my son (the younger) for lunch. My most avid readers will guess (correctly) that he opted for Lone Star Grill. I have, in the past, reviewed their menu, and know the smart choices to order for myself… and to eat as he enjoys his queso and chips and a plate of chicken wings deep fried and breaded. Never mind what I might order, my plans go out the window the moment I start going for the nacho chips and salsa that they bring before you even order your meal. I told Leslie this morning even before I knew where my son would ultimately ask to go that this would be my greatest challenge. Let me cut to the last page: I succeeded! I ordered a glass of water, and I did not touch the chips; the only things that I ate as my son ate were his two carrot sticks, and as we were getting ready to leave, I took two forkfuls of salsa (no chips). I consider that a huge victory of my willpower over my base desires.

My plan was to drop him off and then come home and make a salad for myself. It was only as I was walking into my building that I remembered that I did not have any onions in the house. I switched my plans around and made a meal replacement shake for lunch; I had to go out later, so I would stop in at the supermarket and pick up onions. How was this a priority? Onions are a major part of my omelette!

It is nearly 8:00pm and I am going to make my salad and then have a cigar with my wife. How great would it be to see my weight drop for a third consecutive morning tomorrow?

Have a great day folks!