Losing a part of me

Category: Family

  • Day 1285

    From time to time I write an entry and forget to press Publish… or rather, sometimes I press it once, but not the twice that is needed. That happened yesterday, so when I opened WordPress to write this entry I back-dated yesterday’s entry. Oops!

    When we last left our hero, he was a bit upset with the 1.6 lbs. that he had gained from the previous day, but he was aware that because he had not slept, and because he was weighing himself at a ridiculous hour owing to his overnight classes, he likely had not really gained weight, it was just the normal fluctuations throughout the course of the day. Now he will stop writing of himself in the third person.

    I once again weighed myself at a ridiculous hour this morning (3:15am), but at least I had gotten some sleep. My weight was not back to what it was on Tuesday morning, but it was down .6 lbs. from yesterday. I will accept the progress. As this morning marks the completion of four weeks since I started, I am glad that my weight is down 30.8 lbs. in that time. I have a long way to go before I am satisfied with my weight, but I can definitely be satisfied with my progress.

    After my class yesterday, I changed out of the shirt and tie into shorts and a golf shirt before I drove out to Oakville to see my son. It really has been great spending time with him this past week, and I am sorry that the enforced daily check-ins are over. I will be seeing him more often going forward. I took him for lunch, and while he ordered a pound of wings and a pretzel bread dip (which looked as wicked and tasty as it sounds) with a root beer, I ordered a plate of carrots and celery. I assure you that he enjoyed his food a lot more than I enjoyed mine.

    I came home, finished up a few emails, and then dropped off to sleep for a few hours. I likely slept four hours in the afternoon which were much needed. I woke up, took Her Floofness for her walk, and when we came home I settled onto the balcony for a cigar. We came in around 10:30, and I was able to get nearly another four hours of sleep. Yes, I got eight hours between the afternoon and the evening, but they are not connected. My sleep score was an abysmal 44, but that is irrelevant as I feel (five hours after waking up) that between the afternoon and overnight I am pretty well rested.

    I just came in from my morning walk with Her Floofness, and I am ready to lecture the rest of the class. I only have 3.5 hours left to go, and I am going to sail through it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1292

    30.4. The bathroom scale this morning confirmed that it took me twenty-six days to drop 30.4 lbs., and I nearly wooted out loud. I suspect it would have scared Her Floofness so early in the morning, but I quietly smiled.

    Yesterday was the second day in a row that I moved my bowels twice. I suppose the fibre is finally doing its job! Aside from dropping another half pound, I was also happy to see my sleep score of 84 this morning. Even though I wish I could have slept another 30-60 minutes, and my fitness watch categorized it as: ‘shorter than ideal, plenty of deep.’ That means that four of the last seven nights I had a sleep score of seventy-five or better. I think it is a combination of the melatonin and going to bed a little earlier that is helping. Of course, that ends Wednesday… I am teaching another class in Europe Wednesday through Friday, which means my sleep cycle will be completely upside down again. To make things even more interesting (sic), I should be receiving confirmation today or tomorrow that I am also teaching a class in Europe the next two weeks straight. Financially that is a relief. Sleep wise? Not so much.

    The class I should be teaching the next two weeks is for a certification that I do not currently hold, so I am preparing to sit the exam Wednesday… although I will be deciding sometime today whether or not to move that up to tomorrow… or even this evening. We’ll see. It is another high-level cybersecurity exam, and while it is slightly different from the CISSP, it is not significantly different. Going through a lot of the material I realized that there is a huge overlap in material, which is why I am thinking of moving it up. Practically speaking, that also would give me more time to reschedule it for the weekend if I do happen to fail… which is unlikely, but always a possibility.

    Yesterday I drove out to see my son around 11:00am, and then after about an hour with him I drove to Hagersville for my cigars, just as I had planned. I also take the opportunity when I am out there to fill my gas tank – the difference is at least twenty cents per litre!

    I kept telling myself that I needed to stop off for milk and cheese before I went home, and then I got distracted. The next time I thought of it I had already parked the car. Rather than hop back in, I went into the house, greeted Her Floofness, and took out the garbage before I headed out. I grabbed a reusable bag and walked to the supermarket on the corner. I was surprised that even with that walk I had not hit my steps goal for the day. As low as the goal is, I figured that would have done it. Luckily, despite several earlier outings, Princess Sophie told me she wanted to go out after I came in from my evening cigar, at which point not only did she poop, but I was also able to achieve my daily steps goal. I am hoping that yesterday was Day 1 of a new steps-goal streak. I know that with my crazy work schedule it might be a bit challenging, but let’s see if I can do it.

    Okay, I have rescheduled my exam for tomorrow afternoon. Now I have a bit more prep to do before I am ready. I also have some videos to record today for a contract I have been working on. It should be a fun if harried couple of days.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1290

    I was in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour last night… but when I woke up to pee around 1:10am I got into my head. My worries over both of my children (who are of very different ages and who have very different problems right now) kept me awake for a couple of hours. My sleep before and after that was good, which is how I ended up with a sleep score of 67… but yeah, I had it pretty accurate – looking at the data from my fitness watch, I was awake from 1:06am to 3:06am. I likely would have slept another 30-60 minutes were it not from a phone call from my son the elder at 8:30am. I have heard from him more this past week than likely any time in the past decade, and I am so grateful for it! I will also not be upset with him for a phone call at 8:30am, even if it did wake me up. Sorry society, but that is not an unreasonable hour for a call!

    My weight dropped a full pound from yesterday! That brings my current weight loss to 28.2 lbs. in 24 days. That is certainly nothing to sneeze at! I did cheat with peanuts again yesterday, but I find that if I replace one meal replacement with a reasonable amount of unsalted peanuts then it does not harm my progress. It is when I have the peanuts in addition to my complement of meal replacements that I get into trouble. That, and the day of my exam when I ate salted peanuts (because that was what was available).

    Today will be a challenge because I am taking my son the younger for lunch. I know that I will be tempted, but I will do my best to stay strong. I cannot give in to temptation! I will also then take him grocery shopping, and the instructions from his mother are to let him buy what he wants. The only item I need for myself is coffee, and I hope I do not forget. If I do, then I will be scrambling tomorrow morning!

    It is another beautiful day, and my friend Eduardo is coming over this afternoon. He needs help with his computer, and I am always happy to see him. I doubt that his issues will take me more than a few minutes to solve, after which we will sit and enjoy a cigar on the balcony.

    I scheduled another certification exam for Wednesday because I have been asked to teach the class the following week. While it is certainly a topic I will not have any issues with, they want me to be certified so I will take the exam. I will also spend some time studying over the next few days – while I am not worried, I still want to be prepared. I spent more time studying for the CISSP exam than for any I have ever taken… and it felt good to know that pass or fail, I gave it my all. Seeing as I have work I need to do on Monday and Tuesday, I will spend some time this afternoon (after Eduardo leaves) and tomorrow with my head in the books.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1289

    This morning was the first in several days that I moved my bowels as part of my early morning routine, and not after walking Her Floofness. It was not huge, but it was good to be able to do it. As I mentioned yesterday, I have to be careful so that I do not end up in agony from a blockage like a few weeks ago.

    My sleep score was up to 77 this morning… again, if I had gone to bed earlier… but also if my alarm was not set for 5:45am I am sure it would have been better. I know next week I am teaching a three-day class in Europe so I will bve jetlagged again, but I hope that it does not throw my diet willpower off.

    If today is Day 23 of my renewed efforts at weight loss, I can proudly say that I have so far lost 27.2 lbs., and while the pace of more than a pound per day will fall off within a week or two, I can still be proud for what I have achieved thus far.

    Yesterday I ran off the rails a bit… I left the house, once again, unprepared. I did have some peanuts along the way, and when I got to my meeting at the pub I immediately ordered food and a drink… I asked for a glass of water and a plate of carrots and celery. I am a bit down about the peanuts, but not the veggies. There was some family stress and although I felt bad for what my son was dealing with, there was also nothing that I could do to help other than giving him advice… which I did. I spent half an hour with my son the younger as well… it was great to see him, and I will do the same again this evening.

    I have to run out now – my new optometrist is waiting, and I am looking forward to getting glasses with an up to date subscription so I can see but more important hopefully my eyes will not tire as quickly.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 1288

    With my weight down another pound this morning, I am, after three weeks, down 26.8 lbs., and while I am impatient with my slowed rate, and somewhat disappointed by the week-over-week loss of only 3.2 lbs., I nevertheless have to remember that while my commitment to the program has not wavered, nonetheless my strict adherence to it has this past week has not been great. It has also been quite an emotional week, what with my passing my exam, my son the elder going off to begin his Master Degree, of course that on top of all of the usual excrement that is pervasive in my life… I will take it and run.

    With all of that said, I have no excuses for this week coming… at least, not that I can think of. I will be taking care of my son the younger from this afternoon until next Wednesday – he will not be staying with me, but I will be dropping in to see him twice per day as his mother and her partner drive our son the elder down to university. She specified that I can take him out to eat only once maybe twice… and I will use her instructions as my excuse to him. For the times that we do go out to eat, I will simply not eat. If I am terribly tempted then I will do what I did Tuesday evening… I will order a plate of carrots and celery. I cannot allow anything to get in the way of my success. If in the next week I achieve the same weight loss as I did the last week then I will be able to say that in four weeks I dropped thirty pounds. If I falter? Well to put it bluntly then I will not succeed.

    I was in bed and asleep at a more reasonable hour last night, and while my sleep score was up, it was only a 75. Nothing to write home about. With regard to my other bodily functions, I have not been able to move my bowels this morning. Thinking back to how I was two weeks ago, I am tracking this because I do not want to be back in the position where I am in pain because of it… let alone such extreme pain as I was in on Day 8 (Day 1275). I know that I moved them yesterday, and that while I am not eating solid foods it is not always going to happen every day… but if I go more than two days without voiding my bowels then I am prepared to take the second of the two packets the pharmacist gave me that helped clear me out. I do not want to be in a position where I am in agony before I act.

    After I pop in to see my son this afternoon after my class, I then have to drive down to Grimsby again to meet with someone with whom I have been trying to connect for the last six weeks or so. For this meeting I have no choice but to meet at the resto-pub that I was at Tuesday… the man I am meeting with is the owner. I hope he does not get offended that I will refuse his hospitality but my diet cannot afford for me to eat. If he insists then I will accept the carrots and celery that I indulged in the other day.

    Last night as we sat on my balcony, it started to rain… and rain it did! I do not know how long it lasted, but this morning was notably cooler than it has been these last couple of weeks; they say the rain broke the heat wave. While it was not raining when Her Floofness and I were out, it was clear that it had rained quite a bit overnight. There is no more rain predicted for the day, and while the rest of the week’s forecast is sunny, the temperature predictions are definitely lower than they have been. It will not be chilly, but they will be seasonable.

    My goal for the day is to get through it, then go to see my son, and then get to Grimsby and back without breaking my program. Wish me luck!

  • Day 1285

    I hate these days when my weight creeps up a few ounces. I know that I should not, and that it is about the trend and not lines on the graph, but please…

    For the second time in a week I started my article in frustration, and then before finishing a paragraph I felt the urge, and was able to void my bowels and then re-weigh myself. Rather than being up by .6 lbs., my weight is now .2 lbs. down from yesterday. Phew! Rather than falling back to less than that 25 lbs., I crept a couple of ounces down.

    My sleep score dropped to a 72 last night. It is not because I was up too late (I was in bed by 11:30pm). I remember lying in bed worrying about all sorts of things that I am dealing with. It is not always about my weight loss… or even always about personal problems!

    It is interesting that when I am not on the program, my bowels are almost scarily predictable… nine days out of ten I have a successful bowel movement as part of my morning routine before I walk Princess Sophie. Since I have been on the program (and each of the previous times as well) it has been much less predictable – sometimes it is in the same morning routine, sometimes later in the day, and of course, sometimes it just does not happen in a day. That is not surprising since I am simply not eating any solid food. Days like today, however, throw things off a bit because normally I would be weighing myself once in a day, and that is usually before 8:00am, but certainly within thirty minutes of waking up. This morning I stepped onto the scale at 7:49am… and then again at 9:04am, definitely not within that half hour.

    My son the elder came over yesterday afternoon. It is likely the last time that I will see him before he drives down to the USA to begin his Master program. It was wonderful to see him, and while I do not see him nearly as often as I would like, at least he has been a quick twenty-minute drive from me. Now he will be 1,200km from here… with an international border to contend with along the way. When he called me a few days ago, he thought we might go for dinner. Once I told him that I was on my diet, he was satisfied coming over for a drink. The only violation of my program was a dram of whisky, which was quite tasty. I know that alcohol is not good for any diet – both because of nutritional values, but also because they lower your inhibitions, and you are more likely to eat. I did none of that.

    I have a lot to do but my mind is all over the place. I am going to take a breath and hopefully get some work done before I have to leave around 2:30pm.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1284

    In my usual manner, I woke up this morning to the same morning routine as always. Impatient as I am with my weight loss progress, I was still satisfied with the same-old .8 lbs. drop from yesterday. I say same-old because following the initial tremendous drop the first few days, the most common day-over-day drop has been that. I got dressed, took Her Floofness for her walk, and then returned home to feed her, make coffee, and prepare my meal replacement.

    Between preparing all of that and actually starting to ingest it I felt the urge, and went to the water closet to try… and indeed succeeded. Yay! I decided that since I had not already eaten that I would get nekkid and re-weigh myself. Dropping another .6 lbs. from my initial attempt, it brought me to a great milestone: since Day 1 (today is Day 18) I have officially dropped twenty-five pounds!! That is no small feat, and is certainly worthy of recognition.

    Wonder of wonders, my sleep score this morning was good for the third day straight… and the second night in three was a 90+. Okay, it was 90 on the dot, but that is still considered excellent. I cannot think of too many times since I started wearing this watch that my sleep score was ninety or better. I am going to do my best to make sure I am in bed and with the lights out by 11:00pm as often as I can. That seems to be making a difference.

    As planned, I spent the afternoon yesterday in St. Catharines with a couple of masonic brothers – one of which I have known and been friends with since before I was initiated, the other one who I have only known on Facebook. He and I hit it off like gangbusters. There is a saying that in Freemasonry there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. I don’t know about that; I do know that this gentleman and I absolutely hit it off in our love of History, our first-hand knowledge of the Middle East, and our understanding of and respect for each other’s culture. I am so glad that I drove down there, and it was worth the nearly 2.5 hours I sat in traffic on the QEW.

    Unfortunately, I was weak… I stopped along the way to pee and decided while I was there to pick up some peanuts. At least they were the unsalted kind. While all cheating is cheating, there are better and worse cheats. It turns out though that it was a good thing that I cheated. When I arrived at his house he offered me an alcoholic beverage (I politely declined, explaining to him that my current diet forbids it), and there were bowls of snacks – party mix, nuts (the salted kind), and chips freely available and within arm’s reach. Had I not eaten the unsalted peanuts en route there is a very good chance that I would have succumbed to these temptations. He also offered up that his wife makes the most amazing zaatar pita that I have tasted outside of Lebanon, and would gladly make some for us. I asked for a rain cheque for when I was not on my diet. This was probably the hardest offer I have had yet to refuse. If you know, you know.

    My son the elder is coming over this afternoon for a drink. Next weekend his mother is driving him down to North Carolina to begin his Master program at university, and this will be the last time we sit down before that. He and I have had a complicated relationship, and while he has freely admitted over the past decade or so that I have made huge positive changes, it still took him a long time to fully trust and accept ‘the new me.’ Over the last few months he has reached out to connect with me a handful of times; I suspect he thinks me a good sounding board for some of his thoughts and ideas, and when I do offer advice (which I try to do sparingly and only when asked) it is reasonable and wise… and from a very different perspective from what his mother and the other adults in his life might offer. He does from time to time like to try to shock me as well; while he knows about some of my past, I suspect he knows but the tip of the iceberg of what my true experience is. He has on a few occasions mildly surprised me, but thus far has not come close to shock. I hope he does not push the boundaries in his attempts, because his health and safety are too important to me!

    He is bit of a feinshmecker in many respects, especially with respect to alcohol. He has been working these last couple of years at the largest LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario – the official alcohol retailer in Ontario, and the largest single purchaser of alcoholic beverages in the world), and so for me to have a bottle that he has never seen is always a treat for him. Last month a friend was in British Colombia and sent me a picture of a bottle he came across that was so completely different and that is not available in Ontario. If he does want to try it then yes, I will open the bottle and yes, I will have a dram which will definitely be a diet cheat. It is not every day that my son comes over to celebrate starting a master of law program at a top U.S. school!

    Other than that, I expect today will be a quiet day for me. I will try to get some work done, and might have to spend some time on the balcony reading. While I have been listening to the audio book Moby Dick, I think I am going to revisit one of the early Dan Brown novels that I have sitting on my shelf. He has a new book in the Robert Langdon series coming out in September and I will definitely read it, but I confess I think all of his subsequent novels have paled in comparison to Angels and Demons and the Davinci code. So be it, I will still read the new one. Hope springs eternal.

    Since writing that paragraph I decided to completely organize my bookshelves, organizing them by category. It is amazing how many religious texts I have, in addition to the myriad books on Jewish thinking, on Israel, and on Israel’s wars. Most of these non-religious books in those categories I was given by my father’s widow, a friend of our family for most of my life, when she sold her house and moved into a retirement complex. There are two shelves of cigar books, and a very small one for fiction. I love fiction and read it all the time… I just do not usually keep them when I am done with them.

    Also since writing that paragraph, a buddy of mine texted me and asked if he could come over for a cigar. He is driving here from Grimsby, and while he says he is just passing through and thought it would be great to see me, I know that I saw him yesterday, and he might have something that he needs to talk about. My door is always open for my friends.

    Aside from a wee dram with my son, my plan for today is to stick to the program. I hope I can succeed… I know that I promised that one week from tomorrow I will be recording videos, and I want to look as good as I can. That will not be very good… but at least I can try to drop another five pounds this week.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1282

    I was not at all impressed this morning to see that my weight was up more than a pound from yesterday. I have to assume that was mostly related to the extremely salted peanuts I had eaten the previous day, but also the (unsalted) peanuts I ate yesterday. Other factors would include not moving my bowels (which I did quite successfully some time after weighing myself)… and the fact that weight loss is about the downward trend and not individual plots on a graph. Yes, I ate a handful of peanuts yesterday… a conservative estimate of my total intake yesterday would be 1050 calories which is by no measure excessive, and there was no significant sodium or carbohydrates or starch added to my usual four-per-day meal replacements. There is only one measure by which yesterday was a dietary failure, which is only the strict interpretation of the strict rules of the medically supervised program that I am on. I am not going to feel guilty about that.

    By the by… a clear indicator that my weight issues are likely related to the previous day’s salted peanuts is that my ring, of which I wrote just three days ago, is much tighter than it was. Fingers swell from water retention which is caused by sodium. I expect it to once again fit much better tomorrow or the next day than it does this morning.

    What I do feel guilty about is that I gave serious thought yesterday to switching to a partial program – two or three meal replacements plus an actual meal. I did not do anything about it, but I gave it thought. Why should I feel guilty? Maybe guilt is the wrong word, but I know it is, for the moment, a bad idea. I set out on this renewed journey only two weeks ago (today is essentially Day 16) and I have done very well so far… I have lost 22.4 lbs. so far, which is great… until we factor in that from my best weight ever (October, 2023) until my worst day ever (Day 1 of this new effort) I had regained 106 lbs., at which point we have to recognize that I have only scratched the surface of what I want to – what I need to do. I am still 83.6 lbs. heavier than I was when I was at my best, and that will not just melt away in a heartbeat. It will take much longer if I start compromising now on what is working. Yes, I see images of food and I am tempted. I should by no means give in to that temptation, and there is currently no justification for my doing so. All of the times since the beginning of the year that I have tried to start on a modified program were failures. Why? Because I negotiated with myself. ‘This works… but if I just put in some of the effort instead of all of the effort, then it should still work.’ No. I am not saying never, but for the time being I have no intention of compromising.

    My sleep score this morning was the best that it has been since January 2 of this year. I suspect that it has been over 90 only a handful of times in all of the years that my fitness watch has been tracking it. When I saw the tremendous score of 93 this morning I was relieved, knowing that a good night sleep is crucial for health in general, but it also helps weight loss in particular. My body battery was an unprecedented 97. Hoorah!

    I just did something that I should have done on Day 1. I went onto Facebook looking for the support group that I was a member of previously. In fact, I am still a member, but because I had not participated in quite some time it was not prioritized in my feed. I posted my first message there in a very long time. The group does not seem to be very active – beyond being a buy and sell group – but hopefully I will get some response, and some support.

    Today is a rainy Friday, and in a sense that is a good thing. I have been delinquent on a project that I need to work on, and I will put in a lot of work on it today. I am also going to try to get help with that other issue that I have been dealing with, which will involve a support session with Microsoft. I am not looking forward to that, but I am hoping that it can get resolved satisfactorily.

    I just got off the phone with my son the elder who is off to university next weekend. He wants to see me this weekend (which is great). He also respects the fact that I am back on my diet, and that because of that I would rather he come over for a drink than go out for a meal. I look forward to seeing him and having a nice chat.

    With that, I am going to try to get some work done. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1263

    This weekend has been unique in my experience. I drove to Strathroy Friday morning and my buddy greeted me and immediately took off. He and his wife are spending the weekend away. I walked into the house and was greeted (somewhat) by sixteen legs… two children (9 & 6 years old), a dog named Buddy, and two cats. If you know me at all you will realize that the first eight legs were no problem, but I am quite allergic to the last eight. Won’t this be… fun.

    We spent Friday afternoon in the back yard. They had a blast on the trampoline, and I sat on the patio trying (unsuccessfully) to read. I mostly watched them and relaxed. I prepared spaghetti for dinner, and then we took Buddy for his evening walk to the park. Buddy is a four-year-old Labrador retriever who probably tips the scale at around 100 pounds. He is not overweight that I can tell, he is just a lot more dog than I am used to. As a comparison, HRF Princess Sophie weighs in at just under 18 pounds. The difference did not really hit me until we were out on the walk, with the kids on their bike and scooter. Buddy stopped to sniff and chew and whatever, and when I pulled on his collar to tell him it was time to go I was met with a resistance that I am just not used to. Walking him would actually be exercise.

    Did I mention that sometime during the afternoon, as I was sitting in the house for a few minutes, he threw up? This is not unusual for dogs, I know. What was unusual was the size and texture and odour of what came forth. It smelled terrible, but looked like it should have come out the other end! I grabbed some paper towel and picked up the now-confirmed solid component of it and put it in the kitchen sink. Whatever it was, you can be sure that it had spent some time in his digestive tract, if not actually in his stomach. I apologize, I am not an expert in these things. Once I had cleaned up the entire mess, I returned to the sink and rinsed off what ended up being three very small (6-year-old sized?) socks. I was not quite sure what to do with them, but I did not want to potentially contaminate the laundry basket which would not be addressed for at least two days. I decided to leave them to dry off in the basement bathroom. I made a mental note to tell Amanda they are there.

    Taking care of very picky children and eating well can go one of two ways: You can prepare two separate meals for you and your charges… or you can resign yourself to eating crap. With the knowledge that my extreme diet starts Thursday, and that I would have to pack them into the car and take them to a supermarket, inviting the constant fight of ‘Uncle Mitch can we get this?’ I opted to try to do my best with what they were eating. As I mentioned earlier, I prepared spaghetti for dinner Friday. I had been told that the kids took care of their own breakfasts (mostly cereals) so Saturday morning I made myself an omelette and a bagel (of which Buddy stole half when I was not looking).

    The kids had started haranguing me to go for fast food for lunch on Saturday within 20 minutes of my arriving on Friday. Their dad had already told me that it was okay, so we ended up at Wendy’s. I tried in vain to get them to accept Harvey’s but at a certain point there is no point in arguing with a 6-year-old. Had I known that there was a toy giveaway at Wendy’s it would have made more sense. The meal was enjoyable though – the kids really are well behaved, and a lot of fun – so I did not mind.

    While they tried to convince me to either go out for or order dinner in (as well as every other meal all weekend), I managed to convince them to pick something that we had in the house. Chicken nuggets and French fries are not the worst things they could have picked. I eschewed the nuggets for some pasta salad that was in the fridge.

    When I told my buddy Friday that I had packed ten cigars, he told me that they would last me at least until the following morning. Ha ha, right? Well I do have one cigar left as I sit writing this two days later… but only one. I also expected there might be something to drink by way of adult beverages… I mean, what kind of person leaves their kids with someone and doesn’t make sure there’s at least a bottle of scotch somewhere? To add insult to injury, I noticed Friday afternoon there was a wine bottle in the fridge… but when the kids were in bed I discovered it was half a bottle of peach Bellini. Not cool.

    Okay, at least there were three bottles of decent beer in the downstairs fridge.

    Today is my fifty-third birthday. With all of the well-wishers on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well as a few more personal ones, I do not feel much like celebrating. Truth be told, if I was not here with the kids I would most likely be working on my computer at home, possibly preparing for my class tomorrow (although I think I’ve already done that), and then smoking cigars on the balcony. It was nice to be feted last week at the barbecue, but I really have not felt festive this year. Can anyone blame me?

    I should mention that my godson’s birthday is in two days, so I ordered him a present from Amazon which was delivered yesterday. I do not think they realize that today is my birthday, and I am fine with that. When I find out what time the parents are due back I will decide whether or not I will take them out for lunch… I probably will because I doubt they will be home before 1:00pm. We’ll see.

    I should mention that I have not wasted my time here. Last week I booked my CISSP (Certified Information Systems Security Professional) exam for next week, and I have been studying for it. I brought my study material, and have read over a hundred pages of what I need to read. While I am still certain I am going to fail the exam, at least I will do so knowing that I did take it serious and tried my best. I will spend at least an hour every night this week reading and studying and preparing for the exam which I am sitting next Tuesday. I am teaching a different cybersecurity class this week and while the content is not the same, it is the same general realm which will be helpful. I am not going to go into that exam unprepared. On the other hand, it is probably the highest level and most important certification exam I will have taken to date… and if I get it then it will open more avenues for me professionally – both for teaching and for consulting. Am I nervous? In ways that surprise me.

    While I am thinking about it, I am probably going to downgrade my home lab that I built over the last few weeks. The host operating system on the servers seems to be troublesome, and there is a lot of talk online that the latest server version from Microsoft is not very stable. I have found at least three issues that might be caused by an unstable host, and I do not want to spend anymore time troubleshooting it. Fortunately, it is only on the actual physical host servers that i am experiencing the problems. The virtual machines (the vast majority of the work) is stable, and can just be dropped onto the new hosts if I end up doing that. We’ll see. This might be a thought I have while I am 200km from home, but falls by the wayside when I am in front of the keyboard. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1243

    My plans for yesterday were simple. If I heard from either of my children I would have dropped everything, but I did not expect to. After breakfast I was going to sit on the balcony to study for an exam that I needed to take later in the day. Following the exam I was going to drink myself into a stupor.

    As it happens, I did hear from my son the elder! It does not happen often, but when I went out onto the balcony to study I left my phone in the house, and so I missed his call. I phoned him back and he gave me some terrific news – he was accepted to an amazing school to do his Master’s Degree! He had to work soon but I told him I would come to see him at his job – he works at the LCBO, so if I was going to drink it worked out perfectly. He was working the cash so he did not have a lot of time to talk, but he asked if I wanted to do something when his shift was over. I invited him to come over for a drink and a cigar to celebrate.

    I went home and made dinner – a piece of rainbow trout that I bought (I actually only prepared half of it) and a side dish of white rice. I finished up a few things and then prepared for his arrival. We had a very lovely visit and while I drank a lot more than he did (I did not have to drive) I think we both enjoyed our conversation.

    Oh… and yes, I passed the exam… but some exams are not worth bragging about. This exam took me about sixteen minutes from start to finish.

    While I got nearly eight hours of sleep last night, my fitness watch still gave me an abysmal sleep score… a 44. I am sure the alcohol had something to do with it. I will make sure to get a few hours of sleep this afternoon before I have to teach tonight.

    I will spend the day today preparing for the class I am teaching this evening – yes, it is another overnight class, but it is a single-day class and I am not as worried about the recovery as I am when it is the entire week.

    Life still sucks… but at least I got to spend a very pleasant evening with one of my sons.