Losing a part of me

Author: Mitch Garvis

  • 2026 Day 3

    Irrelevant to my progress, I realized yesterday after I published my daily entry that I had already used the title Day 1, Day 2, etc… and so in order to make things clear, I am changing the titles. Today’s year-Day is not set in stone, but it’s what I came up with for now.

    I cheated yesterday. It took me less than 48 hours to fall off the wagon. Fortunately, it was not a terrible fall. After my third meal replacement I went out to visit with friends. On my way there I realized I was very hungry, and I did not want to arrive at their place and see temptations on the table. I stopped off and bought a handful of peanuts, which I ate in the car as I drove down there.

    When I arrived I realized that I had absolutely made the right decision. Before I even sat down, I was told that there were delicious fried chicken wings over here, and sour gummies over there. Less than an hour earlier I was speaking with my new diet buddy and she told me that a cup of celery per day was allowed on the program. With that knowledge, I took two spears of celery from the bowl of crudités before sitting down to light my cigar. Despite the temptations that were everywhere, I did not indulge.

    I had told my diet buddy that I was not going to start integrating celery into my program, but I am beginning to rethink that decision. I am going to reevaluate that decision. I have not made a decision yet, but I will think about it. I do have to go to the supermarket today to pick up a quart of milk for my coffee, and depending on how I feel (and how they look in the produce section) I might pick up a celery. We shall see.

    It is important to point out that while other vegetables might be healthy, celery is probably the lowest calorie vegetable per volume, with a medium stalk containing six (6) calories. There is a myth that we burn more calories than that when eating it which is untrue, but it is still a very healthy way to get full (and get more dietary fibre) without any of the negative contents (carbohydrates, starches, sugars) that I am trying to avoid.

    Aside from milk and celery, I also need to fill my propane tanks if I have any plans to smoke on the balcony this week. While the forecast high temperatures will be above zero through Thursday, there might be wind which would make that uncomfortable… but in case it is not, I would like to have the option. I am seldom tempted to snack when I am smoking a cigar.

    I remembered yesterday that one of the most important things to remember when dieting is to drink a lot of water. I was negligent on that on Thursday, but yesterday I refilled my 30oz bottle at least three times throughout the day. It might have been four. I do know that I spent a lot more time running to the latrine than I usually do. I will try to keep that up. The weekend might be more challenging because I do not think about it, but during the week while I am teaching it will be easier. I will make a point of trying to drink at least two litres every day, which is a little more than sixty-five ounces. During the week when I am teaching that will be easier, but I am already at least a third of my way there this Saturday afternoon. Not too bad!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 2

    I was hungry a few times throughout the day yesterday, but I got through it. I was going to write that the first day is always the hardest, but in truth I know that every day for the next month will be really tough. I will do my best to get through it, and I will do everything I can to avoid potential pitfalls. That will likely include skipping my Lodge’s monthly breakfast at the end of the month… I do not want to put myself in the position to fail if I am doing well. That is in twenty-two days, and if I do fail before that we will see… I hope that I will still be on track.

    I spent over an hour on the phone with my diet buddy last night. We did not spend all of that time talking about the diet, but the conversation did a good job of keeping me distracted when I was hungry and longing for that fourth meal replacement of the day. In the end, I accidentally skipped that last shake, which is not a good habit to get into. The human body – especially one as large as mine – requires more than 675 calories to make it through the day. One day will not cause me any issues, but I will not make a habit of it. My program calls for 900 calories per day, and since I am adding sugar and milk to my coffee I am just about at 1000 per day. I will try to stick to that.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Let’s Go!

    Today is Day One. I have a program buddy with whom I am going to go through the program. We have both done it before, lost a lot of weight and then regained it back. No, I have not regained everything, but I do still hate where I am. Last night she and I spoke (she is in the same province, but lives 500 km from here) and discussed our concerns and anxieties, as well as our hopes. We will stay in touch – it is an extremely difficult program, and having someone to support you is a big help.

  • January, 2026

    Here we go again. I am trying this one more time… but the difference is that the holidays are behind me.

    I got an email a few weeks ago – I think it was the morning after I got back from Calgary – that threw my emotions and mental state for a whirl. That is a nice way to say it. I have been a disaster, and I am trying to put the brakes on that.

    I ordered a few weeks worth of meal replacements yesterday, although because of the holiday the order will not be processed until today I am sure, if not Monday. That is fine because I have 5-6 days worth of shakes left, and I will continue to be on a partial program for the time being. I think that when the products do arrive, I will stay on a partial regimen. We will see. I need to do something drastic, but it also needs to be realistic and sustainable.

    Happy f&cking new year folks.

  • Day 7

    The last few days have been a huge bell curve. I mentioned a couple of days ago that one evening this week a friend brought me Vietnamese pho, which is extremely salty, and that I ate that for two days. In short, from Monday to Thursday my weight was up over five pounds, which really did not do anything good for my mental state. This morning I was pleased to see that I had dropped all of that excess weight, likely caused by retaining water based on the high sodium content of the soup. Phew. I have dropped 8.2 lbs. in the first week… not bad, could be better.

    I am not in a good head space right now. A combination of personal and financial issues are weighing on me. Last night I was sleeping like a baby… until I woke up to pee at 4:00am. It probably took me 45 minutes to get back to sleep. Somehow my sleep score was still 88… I am glad I did not give up and pick up my phone to start reading.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 3 Drama

    Yesterday I was strict on the program during the day, but not in the evening. If I am going to cheat, I know it should be during the day, and not at night. I didn’t have a lot of choice. I didn’t even cheat too bad… a friend brought Vietnamese pho for dinner. Yes, the noodles are bad for the diet, but that is the only ‘permanent’ bad of it. The reason my weight was up an astonishing 3.5 lbs. this morning was more for the ridiculously high sodium content, which is bad for the water retention issue, but will likely be reversed within a day or two.

    I was not feeling well yesterday evening. I felt a cold coming on starting mid-afternoon, and it continued to worsen throughout the day. I told my friend, who understood and went home after dinner so I could get into bed quickly. I may have been in bed by 8:15pm, but I did not fall asleep until 10:45. I still slept quite soundly, and am (so far) feeling better today.

    I am enjoying the class that I am teaching this week. It is way outside my usual comfort zone, but I spent the requisite time preparing, I sat (and passed) the exam over the weekend, and two days into it my students seem to think that I am doing well. Phew! Occasionally there is a class that I am forced to teach which I really have to ‘fake my way’ through. This week is not one of them. I have been using Microsoft Windows since 1985 and very deeply since Windows 2000 and am considered one of the top guys in it; with that said, I have used Linux quite a bit, especially for my cybersecurity work, and while I never considered myself an expert in it, the week I spent preparing for the exam (and this class) solidified a few concepts for me that were probably the difference between ‘user’ and ‘expert’ levels. I plan to keep working with Linux, and hope that I can continue to get more comfortable with it.

    In the opening paragraph of this journal entry I mentioned that if I am going to cheat, it should be earlier in the day; this is so that my body can process the bad before I go to sleep. I also said I often will not have a choice in the timing, especially when there is an evening meal involved. Today I do have the choice! There is leftover pho which I will enjoy for lunch. Not only can I eat it earlier, but because it was my friend’s leftover portion (they ordered the same as I did, but because of a weight loss surgery their stomach is much smaller, hence so is their appetite) so it is a much more reasonable portion than what I ate last night. I trust that since I will be eating smaller and earlier, I will still see a drop in my weight tomorrow morning. Even if I do not, I still feel that I am getting back on track.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Is today Day 5?

    It is hard to accept that it is Day Five of my program because I have not stuck to it religiously. I am going to stick to it mostly for a few days or weeks, but will definitely be diving in completely after a time. In the meantime, my weight is down 8.2 lbs. in this time. I promised my doctor that I would lose ten kilos (22 lbs.) by our next appointment (February 1st) but I would love to blow her expectations out of the water and lose as much as fifteen kilos (33 lbs.)

    I mention that my weight as of this morning is down 8.2 lbs., but I need to point out that I stepped on the scale four times and got three different results, and the loss is based on the second and fourth reading. I hate the inconsistency of it, and wish I had a completely solid and reliable floor on which to place my bathroom scale. I do like my apartment, but the floors have been a disaster since I moved in over four years ago, and they have only gotten worse over time.

    I will not necessarily be journaling every day on this new effort, but I will check in a couple of times per week… and definitely will discuss failures, successes, and feelings.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 2…ish

    I did not make it through the day yesterday as I would have liked. I had two meal replacements, and then I made an omelette for dinner… and then I had a couple of carrots… and a bag of popcorn.

    This morning was my Lodge’s monthly breakfast for men’s mental health, and knowing how badly I am doing on that front I was not going to skip it. I did eat at the restaurant, and will try to only have meal replacements for the rest of the day. If I falter, then I do so with the knowledge that I have precisely two carrots and one bag of popcorn left in the house.

  • Day 1… Again.

    I saw my doctor yesterday and was disgusted with the numbers I got… but I already knew that I would be. I had decided before going into the appointment that I would be rebooting my program efforts today… AGAIN.

    I must sound like a broken record, but let’s try this one more time.

  • Day 3

    In one day it was great… but not overall.