I did something proactively this time around that I had not done in any of my previous kicks at the can. Rather than waiting, I began adding a tablespoon of fibre to one shake on Day 1. I remember some of the painful moments (and even days) that I have had on previous attempts, and I think I made the right call. In fairness, had I not found the fibre stored with my meal replacements, I likely would not have thought of it… but I did.
I moved here three months ago and have been quite social in a small circle… mostly with the patrons of a sports bar where I have been hanging out. I have not had any success with women, and not for lack of trying. I have made a lot of female friends… but that is not the same thing. Last night I was trying to watch my hockey game when a very attractive woman sat down next to me and started a conversation. I was under no delusion that it was anything other than social, and I was fine with that. I have decided that until I can look in the mirror and really believe that my body might be attractive I am not going to try to date. I think it is a wise decision for a number of reasons… not the least of which is that dating often involves food, which is something I am trying to avoid for the time being.
I am not sure if it is because of the fibre, but I had to take a break from writing to return to the washroom. Things can move quick sometimes.
One of the reasons I am looking forward to losing weight is because of all of the clothes that I have that I cannot wear. My closet is full of custom-tailored suits, sports jackets, and shirts that have not fit me in a couple of years, and I am looking forward to being able to wear them again. It will take time, but I am not really in a hurry. That is not to say that I am patient… only that I am trying to work on that!
There have been so many changes in my life over the last few years. I am not going to go into detail, but I will say that I am not happy with many of them. There have been several extremely stressful issues that have come up… and most of them are, for the most part, now behind me. Not all of them. I am not going to go into any detail. Suffice it to say that my decision a few years ago to be honest in all things has both bit me in some ways and kept me on track in others. I just wish that I had not allowed the stress and anxiety to lead me back down the obesity path. Now it is time to get past that.
Today is Day 4 of my renewed efforts. Let’s see if I can get that to 220 lbs.
I have a very long way to go.
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