Losing a part of me

Category: body

  • Day 669

    Recording a three-pound drop from yesterday morning was a good way to start my morning. When there is little good in one’s life it is helpful when even the most minor successes are achieved.

    My new clothes are on a truck out for delivery, which means that sometime today I will get my new shirts and sports jacket. That would have been so exciting just a few weeks ago. Now? Well, at least I will have new shirts to wear next week when I am teaching. I am not nearly as excited as I would have been.

    Speaking of clothes, I went shopping yesterday. I am likely going to return most of what I bought, but it was so exciting to be able to purchase a ski jacket in size XL. The one I purchased two years ago was a 4XL, and the one I was wearing since 2005 (which did not fit when I was at my most extreme weight) is a 3XL. I will be taking both of those to the charity donation bin later this week, even though I will not be wearing either the ski jacket or the coat that I bought (yes, I bought a jacket and a coat… don’t ask). I will take them both back and go looking for a proper long jacket that will serve both purposes. Yes, it will cost a little more, but it will still likely cost less than the two items combined. I am keeping the sweater I bought… it is a size L, in contrast to the size XXL that I purchased two years ago. Actually, Leslie bought it for me. Maybe that’s why I needed a new sweater.

    I noticed something on my body a few nights ago that is a bit worrisome. If I did not have an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow morning, I would have made one. I have a weird sensitivity and a lump in my pelvic area. I am not one for Doctor Google but from everything I know, I suspect it is a hernia. I will not self-diagnose and will ask my doctor in the morning.

    Speaking of my doctor’s visit, my weight this morning was within .2 lb. of what I weighed the morning of my last appointment with her. With a bit of luck (and a lot of effort) I might drop another pound tomorrow morning, but even if I do not, I am both relieved that I do not weigh more, and disappointed that I have not lost more. Of course, that is ignoring the fact that three weeks after that appointment I was down nearly 8 lbs., and that just three days ago I was 3 lbs. up from that. The last month has been a maelstrom of travel, emotion, and some wonderful and some terrible things… all of this putting aside the fact that my country is still at war and that the lies of public opinion make Hamas look like the heroes of the story while my people are seen as the forces of pure evil.

    It is nearly 1:00pm and I have had a slightly productive morning. I also realized that I did not defrost chicken, which means that I can either put it in the microwave, or I can go to the supermarket to pick up a defrosted package. I think that is the option I am going to take, as the packages are too large to rotate in my microwave oven… and I do not have the ‘stay put’ tray for it. In the afternoon I will be studying for the exam that I need to take within the next couple of weeks. Hopefully I will be able to focus and remember what is in my head. I am not placing any bets on that. The exam is paid for and it expires in two weeks so I am going to take it whether or not I am fully prepared… but I really do not want to fail.

  • Day 636

    I mentioned a couple of days back (and not for the first time) that it is uncomfortable to discuss certain bodily functions such as bowel movements. I have thought it important to discuss these last few weeks because of the difficulties I have had, often for days on end, and then the pain resulting from my hard (and mostly minor) successes in that domain. This is why I am so excited to write that yesterday I had not one or two but three extremely successful (and not painful bowel movements. I literally felt like my bowels had been hoarding for weeks and finally decided to let go of everything. It was such a relief that I cannot begin to put it into words.

    I ran out to run a few errands yesterday and ended up picking up some farm-fresh eggs. I was so excited that I made an omelette for dinner, in addition to making one for breakfast this morning. I really can tell the difference between these, and the store bought eggs that I am used to. The result was absolutely delicious!

    I did not exercise yesterday. I did not even walk to the supermarket (as I mentioned I might). My legs were still feeling a bit wobbly from the previous day’s walk so I decided to take the day off. I might go this afternoon, but there are a number of factors that might interfere with that. We will see.

    With regard to the bathroom scale: I am back on track! Yes, this morning’s reading on the bathroom scale confirmed a new best weight ever. While I am only .2 lb. lighter than I was Sunday morning before my cheat day, I am a full three pounds lighter than I was the following morning. I’ll take that and run… and work hard to continue on track today.

    I am now the lowest weight I’ve ever been… and I am not sure if I have had a meal replacement in the past 4-5 days. I am thrilled that I continue to lose weight without any product. I am going to ride this without making any changes for a little while to see if I can continue to lose the weight doing what I have been doing, and if I can then I am going to put an end to the meal replacements. I have eleven boxes left which I know I would have no trouble selling should I want to do so. I am not ready just yet… let me see if I can continue eating two meals per day (plus cutting out all food after 7:00pm) and still lose weight. If so, then sometime next month I will sell off most of my remaining shakes. Leslie would be disappointed if I did not follow that up with ‘Do you know how many cigars that money could buy?’

    I have an appointment with a tailor today to see if she can alter my sports jackets and vests before I go to Dallas on the weekend. It feels amazing knowing that I need to do that in order for them to continue to fit well! I am not going to try to get my shirts altered, but the jackets and the vests would be nice… and she promised that I would have them back in time for me to take to Texas which is important because Leslie and I are going to a couple of events that will require a jacket and tie. Worst case scenario, I still have other jackets… but I would love to wear these.

    Okay, it is time for me to get a move on. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 634

    The bathroom scale giveth, and the bathroom scale taketh away. After a bit of a cheat day yesterday (mostly from necessity, but I will not go into that) I found my weight up nearly 3 lbs. from yesterday’s incredible best weight ever. I am not going to chalk the number up to the sodium content of what I ate (which was off the chart I am sure) because I could have declined it… or eaten somewhat less. I paid for it this morning, but I will not make a habit of it. I will do better today, and tomorrow morning I will be back under the 240 lbs. mark… even if it takes a few more days to get back to my best weight ever.

    I had a lovely lunch with my son the younger yesterday. He is growing up so nicely, and the fact that he is finally back in school (he had been homeschooled since the beginning of the pandemic) will do great things to help his development. In the meantime, I found it amazing that he is taller than the waitress at the restaurant where we ate… she has known him since we carried him in the bucket.

    My afternoon and evening was a waste of my time, except for that it allowed me to reinforce my position that I do not agree with violence, and that while I am more than happy to fight and die for my country, I will have nothing to do with vigilantism. That is not what we were taught. Someone pointed out this might be at odds with my comportment last Friday. ‘On the day that they call for worldwide violence against Jews you put in an IDF t-shirt and draped yourself in the Israeli flag. How is that different?’ The answer is simple: I would never physically attack someone for supporting Palestinians or for being an Arab. If they give me the same courtesy, then there will be no problem. If they decide that my being Israeli or even just Jewish is a call to violence, then I am not being a vigilante… I am responding to violence with the necessary force to subdue the hateful individual who attacked me. That is not hypocrisy; that is in fact showing the difference between us and them. In any event, I walked away and will continue to pursue my attempts to get back over there.

    I still find it uncomfortable to discuss certain bodily functions, especially in writing and especially in a serious piece that I will publish on my serious blog, but it is part of the process. I suspect if I had been able to weigh myself after my mid-morning bowel movement then this morning’s extreme weight gain might have been less extreme. If only I were able to comfortably do this every day, then I suspect my weight loss would be a bit quicker. I should mention that since I have started eating a second meal every day, these movements have been a bit more frequent (maybe every 2-3 days instead of at best twice weekly), and definitely less painful.

    My plans for the day include a good walk (after the morning’s weight gain, I would likely be going out to exercise in a blizzard!). It is nearly noon, so I am going to prepare my lunch before I go. I am teaching at 5:30pm so I will time my walk to be home in plenty of time to get ready. I do not know if I will be taking a cigar this afternoon but might find time to enjoy one after class. We will see how I am feeling, as well as how the weather holds up. The current forecast is for cloudy skies the rest of the day, so if the wind does not pick up, I should be okay.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 627

    I failed miserably yesterday. I will not go into the sordid details, but it started before I got to the Thanksgiving dinner and ended shortly before I went to bed. I looked at yesterday as a cheat day and maybe that was a bad idea… or maybe I needed it with all of what is going on in my head. The result? This morning I experienced the largest ever single-day weight gain I can remember. It was disappointing but predictable and deserved. When I cheat, I gain weight. Big cheats can mean big gains.

    I started writing today’s entry at 8:45am. It is now 5:52pm. Yes, it has been that busy of a day. I spent much of the day with my buddy at his in-laws house. They had a serious cybersecurity breach and I offered to go over to make sure they were safe going forward. I was hoping to be out of there within a couple of hours but honestly did not believe that would be the case. The fact that I got out after 4.5 hours having resolved every issue was a victory.

    I gained more than five pounds overnight. I suspect had I weighed myself after my second bowel movement of the day I would have lost at least two and possibly more pounds of that. I honestly cannot remember the last time I had so productive a movement. The relief was tremendous, and I do not mind that a plunger was required to unclog the toilet.

    I have not been on the program today, but I also have not been cheating like I did yesterday. The only food that I ate that was not part of my regular routine was leftover turkey. I only wish I could have gone out for a good walk today, especially since I will be teaching all day tomorrow. Maybe I will be able to go out after my class… we will see.

    Happy Canadian Thanksgiving folks! Have a great day!

  • Day 624

    Yesterday was another stressful day of teaching, but I did not try to relax by eating. In fact, at the end of the day I had originally planned to go to a friend’s house for a cigar but decided instead to go for a long walk to clear my head (and to get some exercise). How did it go? Well, when combined with the evening cigar I smoked after showering I think it turned out fairly well.

    My weight this morning was up from yesterday. It was not a significant increase – .2 lb. – so I am not concerned. When I was first gaining the weight in early adulthood, I would make the excuse that muscle was heavier than fat. Looking at the stats from my bathroom scale app it might be, for the first time ever, that might have something to do with it. There are only three stats that increased from yesterday to today: weight, BMI, and muscle mass. Maybe the 12km walk did build my leg muscles somewhat… and increased my weight ever so slightly.

    The measures on the scale yesterday were all over the place. After my walk I weighed less than I did in the morning. Before bed it was four pounds up from the morning. That worried me because I usually drop as much as 2-2.5 lbs. overnight, but seldom more. What I did not take into account was how much water I must have consumed and been retaining. I was feeling a discomfort in my bladder all day, but I couldn’t figure out why. If you want to know why I did not sleep well last night it is probably because I got up to pee seven times, each of which was a long and steady stream. While my weight was up this morning, it was not up enough to worry about… but the excess water is what caused my concern (and the discomfort).

    I should mention that I have once again not moved my bowels for four days. As I promised my doctor I am not going to wait until it gets painful and will take a laxative. I do not want to take it until my teaching is done because I do not know how my body will react. I will say that I have been feeling the sensations that I would like to go the last hour but will have to wait until lunch. I know that it will likely be more than a 2-minute pain-free experience. In my life I never thought I would be in the market for stool softeners and things like that. Not fun.

    My class lectures are done for the week! My students now have a few hours to work on their labs and of course I am happy to help them with those, but the lecture portion is done. I will take my lunch break in a few minutes during which I have some calls to make and will try to do those from the balcony. It is a beautiful day out, and in the Great White North we should never take those for granted.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 622

    I was only a wee bit disappointed to see that the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning were the same as they were yesterday morning. As I had previously written, it is not surprising after several days of dropping for it to stay the same (or even go up a little) for a day or two. Despite my decision to go out exercising after class yesterday (which I did not think I would have the opportunity to do this week) my weight stayed put. That’s quite alright… I would rather it stay put where it is than go up.

    There are two milestones that I would like to achieve before my next trip to Dallas (in just under three weeks):

    • I would like to drop below 240 lbs. (and then below 235 lbs.).
    • I would like to drop out of the Obesity Class I category.

    I am less than 10 lbs. away from not being obese for the first time in twenty-five years or more. I will still be, according to the Body Mass Index (BMI), be Overweight, but that is not nearly the same animal. I am a fifty-one year old man who has no aspirations to be an athlete, but I do want to prove to myself that obesity no longer needs to define me.

    I was rewarded last night, after logging my walk, to see that I have cracked the top 9% on the 2023 Challenge. Of 206,000 participants I am ranked 18,520; that puts me in the top 8.99% of participants. I never thought that I would crack into the top 10%… not even with half that number registered! I am not competing against them – I do not know who any of them are – I am just trying to push myself to be the best me that I can be, and if those faceless names attached to the other participants registered help to encourage my being more active then so be it… thanks Peep T. and Matthew H. and Bill J. for that.

    I suppose I did not get enough sleep once again last night. I am really feeling it this morning, and I am going to need to focus on staying awake and alert… not to mention relying on my pot of coffee to help that. I hope that I will get more sleep this evening, but that is entirely on me; I know what time my alarm is set for in the morning, so it is my responsibility to go to sleep earlier when I am feeling tired. After my walk last night I picked a very long cigar which kept me on the balcony rather later than I should have stayed out. This evening I will select a much shorter one… if I smoke one at all. I do have to teach until 9:15pm today, so a short cigar would still allow me to be in bed by 11:00pm. I will endeavour to be in bed and asleep by then.

    Today will be a long day, but I doubt it will be overly taxing. Yes, my daytime class is a bit of a challenge, but it is technology that I am pretty comfortable with, and I have a small and good group of students. My evening class is the same group I have been working with since July and I know the material cold, so I am not worried about that. Nonetheless I am still looking at a thirteen-hour day, so it will just be long. I know how to handle that.

    I also know that unlike these last few days I will not be out and about, which means I will not have the (convenient) ability to buy peanuts. My plan for today is to space my meal replacements out well enough so that my last one is before 8:00pm. I feel that the earlier I stop eating the better chance I have of a successful number on the scale the following morning. As I will not be exercising today, it is a good opportunity to test that theory.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 617

    I was mostly good yesterday… until I was not. It is amazing though how our perspectives can change with our circumstances… and with who we are in general. As an example, allow me to list everything I ate yesterday. I will then write what I felt yesterday, and then will try to get into my head from two years ago and see how I might have felt:

    • · Morning meal: omelette with a teaspoon of olive oil in the pan, onion, broccoli, mushroom, and cheese.
    • Late morning snack: Tamari almonds (1/3 cup)
    • Mid-afternoon meal: omelette (identical to morning meal but with one extra egg)
    • Late afternoon snack: a bag of salt and vinegar mini crisps.

    How I felt last night: I felt like such a failure with all of this. I did not stick to my regimen. I was 100% certain that my weight would be up the next morning, and the best that I could hope for was that, owing to my exercise, it might stay the same… but I doubted it.

    How I might have felt two years ago: I am happy that I ate so little. Normally I would be eating three large meals per day, with a couple of snacks mixed in for the fun of it. I have little doubt that eating like this I should likely see a slight drop in my weight the next morning, but if my body wanted to mess with me then it might stay the same.

    Do you see the difference? I certainly do! There is both good and bad to this difference. The good is that I am certainly eating less, more easily sated, and more aware of what I am eating. The bad is that I was down on myself for overeating… even though I did not. I have to take care that I am not exchanging one eating disorder (overeating) for another (would it be considered anorexia? Probably not… but it is something). While I am not prepared to resume therapy for this just yet, it is certainly something that I should at least be aware of.

    In fact I was wrong about the bathroom scale this morning. I did not gain weight or even stay the same, but actually dropped .4 lb.; I am now back to the same weight that I was the day before I flew to California. If I stay on track for another couple of days then it is entirely possible – nay, likely – that I will be in best-weight-ever land by the beginning of next week.

    I do not write a lot about sexual function or activity in these pages for many reasons; it is not something I ever really had a problem with (even at my heaviest). The only real issue I had was that I did not have the stamina that I would have liked. As a happily married man who has referred often to my wife, I will not change that for reasons of decency and discretion. Suffice it to say that we have always enjoyed our healthy intimate moments, but that over the course of having lost thus far approximately 150 pounds, that portion of our life has steadily improved, owing mostly to the increased stamina that has come with the combination of weight loss and (mostly) consistent exercise.

    With that said: It is important in discussing significant weight loss and body transformation to take note of the changes and improvements of all aspects of my life that are direct results of same. I started this journey as a 49-year-old man, and over the course of these 617 days I have celebrated two birthdays. As a 51-year-old man I could lose all the weight in the world and yet will never be what I was when I was last a normal weight. With that said, there are some changes I have noticed of late that are significant.

    As one example, I cannot remember these last few decades waking up in the morning with a solid erection. Over these last few weeks that has changed. It is not every day, but it has happened a few times. I did not think much of it the last few times, but this morning I noticed it and remembered it happening a few times this past month.

    Another example was noticed by both of us a few weeks ago when Leslie was here. At the end of a night of passion, my erection did not subside immediately (as has almost always been the case) after ejaculation. In fact, several minutes after same I went into the washroom, and it was still quite solid (to the point where I was unable to urinate). Despite that inconvenience it felt good to know that my with regard to sexual performance, ability, and stamina my body is showing real improvements with the weight loss and body transformation. These bode well for my future. These improvements give me yet another reason to continue to lose the weight… and to never let myself go again!

    I had a lovely cigar date with my wife this morning and I did take care of some business, but it is time for me to get moving. I have a lot of studying to do before my class this evening, but before I dive into that I am going to go for my walk. I would love to try to get fifteen kilometres in today! On yesterday’s outing I jogged the first kilometre in 6m21s before pulling up and walking the remainder of the 12.5km course. My plan for today is to try to increase that to 2-3km jogging. We’ll see. I was going to wait until I was home before preparing my first meal replacement, but realizing it is now 12:55pm I am actually going to do that before I go out. It is never a good idea for me to let myself get hungry… as we see far too often, that nevber seems to work out well for me.

    Once I am done, I will come home to shower and then will sit on the balcony with my studying and a cigar. I will be ready for my evening class on time and look forward to finishing my current class with this group so that I can begin the next one (with the same group) on Monday. After class I am probably going to a friend’s house because he invited a group of us to enjoy a cigar by the fire pit. It should be a lovely time and knowing that I am arriving late I will miss the food that he usually puts out (and which is never diet-friendly).

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 591

    And then there were four.

    With my drop this morning there were only four days in May when I weighed less than I did this morning. With every .2 drop that number will decrease by one. I am less than one pound heavier than I was at my best weight ever on May 27.

    Yesterday I wrote about two challenges that I was to face regarding my adherence to my program. I managed to turn one challenge into an opportunity. I wrote that: ‘. In the car I am simply driving, in a conveyance, with no stake in my success or failure.’ Okay. When I went to go to the store, I got to my car… and decided that instead of driving to Fortinos I would walk to Freshco. While my plans for the day would not allow for me to go for my exercise walk, walking to the supermarket would give me a couple thousand extra steps, and it would remind me that I was working hard to lose the weight. I won’t deny that Freshco does not have the same temptations (prepared foods and bulk nuts) as Fortinos, but they still have breads and so many other tasty opportunities to cheat. We had none of that yesterday morning thank you!

    The second challenge was my trip to Lyle’s. I had my meal replacement right before I left, but I was still hungry. The chewing gum I keep in the car helped me both on my way there and on the return trip. I was proud to tell Leslie when I arrived home that I passed by Bulk Barn and did not slow down.

    As I lay in bed chatting with her last night, I told her I had a fear that despite being good that I would see an increase in my weight this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale. I am not sure why, but I felt I had done something wrong… or maybe I did nothing wrong, but there are still going to be days when there is no forward progress. Last night’s fear was unfounded, but there will be days like that. I have to remember to take it in stride and not get upset when it does happen. In the meantime: on August 21 my weight was up 2.4 lbs. from two days earlier. Since then, it has dropped every single morning. Some days that drop was only .2 lb., but it dropped, nonetheless. Thirteen days in a row. That is a pretty good streak! I do not know if it will continue through this week, but it would be nice to be able to cross off that major milestone, not to mention the next two-pound increment, over the next few days.

    While sitting with Lyle, I did ask him once to stop talking about food. He understood that it was hard for me to hear it and still stay true to my program. I appreciate my friends being understanding.

    The Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), often referred to as the Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR), is how many calories one would burn in a day with no outside factors. In other words, what we need to consume to stay as we are. I do not know the science behind it and how it might be affected by different macronutrients such as starches, nor am I going to spend any time researching it. I was introduced to the concept when I first went to a weight management and diabetes clinic over a decade ago. For the test they insisted I not ingest any caffeine for a period of time before the test. My smart scale just pops a number into my chart, so I assume it is not quite so accurate. I do know that 591 days ago my chart shows my BMR at 2,884. Six days ago (Day 586) it dropped below 2,000. It had been under 2,000 for a few days in May, but jumped back above on May 29, I am hoping that this time it will remain under 2,000… now and forever.

    While I thought it would be a daytime encounter, it turns out that my friends and I are meeting for cigars at 6:00pm, which means that after yesterday’s respite I will be able to go for a walk today. If I prepare my first meal replacement at 1:00pm then I will head out at 1:30pm; I will be home by 3:00pm and will shower and rest for a bit before taking my second meal replacement around 5:15pm. I will be home by 9:00pm and will finish off my day with my last one. That, dear reader, is the plan. Now let’s see if I can stay true to it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 589

    Yesterday I lamented to my wife that I was a bit miffed that the previous day (after having cheated the day before) I lost .6 lb., but yesterday (having stayed on track the day before) I only dropped .2 lb.; she joked that maybe the Peanut Karma lies in wait and takes a couple of days to strike… or something to that effect. I was hoping that it did not stick around too long. I did not cheat at all yesterday; I exercised (1.5km jogging, 10.5km walking). I told Leslie last night that I really hoped – nay, that I was going to be able to cross another number off from the list on the side of my fridge.

    This morning I woke up, did my morning routine (including a minor but nonetheless successful bowel movement), and then walked over to the bathroom scale. With a drop of .8 lb. from yesterday I did indeed drop enough to cross another number off! With that, I am now 1.8 lbs. from tying my best weight ever… and 2 lbs. from surpassing it, dropping below the major milestone of 250 lbs. at the same time. It is not outside the realm of possibility that I will achieve that by early next week, but certainly before next week is out. That is exciting indeed!

    After stepping off the scale I proceeded to get dressed, and when I put my pants on, I pulled the waist up over my hips, just like I said the other day that I wanted to start doing. Two hours later (including a 1.6km walk with a floof) and they are still holding in place. I consider that a very good sign. If it keeps up, then I am going to reconsider my plans for the Hong Kong tailor… I just might add a couple of pair of pants to my order… although that will significantly increase the cost. We shall see… having pants that fit properly is probably an important facet to one’s wardrobe.

    I had my first negative experience with buying and selling of the meal replacements yesterday. When I bought the shakes the other day, I ended up with four boxes of vanilla shakes which are not really to my liking. I had been thinking of selling them, although I had not done anything about it. Out of the blue someone from one of the Facebook groups I am in messaged me and asked if I had any to sell. The short version of the story is that first she tried to haggle with me on the price… even though the price I quoted is quite reasonable. She then told me at 6:00 that she would come to pick them up within half an hour, so I waited at home (even though Her Floofness was asking to go out). At 7:30 I messaged her and told her I would be selling them to someone else. She made every excuse and I feel sorry for her but if she got a message that her child was crying, and she needed to turn around then she could have taken fifteen seconds to message me that she had an emergency and would try to come later. She would not take my NO for an answer. I told her that she disrespected me twice (first by haggling, second by ghosting me) and that I would rather help someone respectful. She persisted, so I told her I was taking my dog for a walk… I would happily deal with my dig’s shit, but not with hers.

    Let me clarify something: I respect that everyone has crap going on in their lives, and I understand hardships and stumbles. If her nine-month-old child was throwing up then that really is too bad, and I feel for her. It is a very good reason to change your plans and it might even be a good reason to get within five minutes of your destination and then turn around to go home. It is not a good reason to ghost someone you made a commitment to. Had she texted me then I might have accommodated her. She only reached out to apologize after she saw on Facebook that I had told people she ghosted her. With all due respect, if she had time to be on Facebook then she could have found the time to text me.

    I have more studying to do today, so after the landscapers are finished outside, I will pick a cigar and sit outside with my laptop. Today’s forecast calls for sunny with a very comfortable high of 23°. Despite the chill that has been in the air the last few mornings, we are not quite done with summer just yet. The forecast high temperatures for the next week range from 27° to 33° and sunny every day… with the overnight lows only dropping below 20° twice. Considering the heat that my wife is enduring in Texas I think it laughable to call it a late-summer heatwave, but for Canada that is just what it is… and I will take full advantage of it, especially since it is a long weekend!

    I have stayed true to the program these last two days… and eight of the last nine. With how hard it has been I consider every day that I stay true to the program a huge victory, and I will do my best to extend that streak today. There may be a thousand opportunities to cheat, but I only have this one opportunity to stay true to my word and to keep on track.

    Speaking of streaks (or at least statistics): With this morning’s weight drop there are now only eight days (including today) when I have weighed at or less than what I do now. From May 23rd through May 28th my weight would drop from 251.8 lbs. to 250 lbs. even… and then bounce back up above 253 on the 29th. I have to figure out how to not let that happen again; I want to see my weight continue to drop, and the only way that I can make sure that happens is to stay disciplined and focused. Even when I am at my ideal weight (whatever that may be) I will have to remember that if I plan to stay there.

    On Day 564 I wrote about the bet my wife and I made. Last night I told her that I was changing the bet, seeing as it is clear that I have an advantage because of my metabolism. If she drops 25 lbs. before I drop 40 lbs. then she is the winner. She told me that was not fair, but I reminded her that I have already dropped eleven pounds to the six that she has dropped in the same period… and I have cheated several times in there. Frequent readers might remember my wondering if she might have made the bet to encourage me to stay on track; maybe giving her a point spread is my way of incentivizing her to stay true to the program… especially on days when it is so hard that you just want to give up. I’ll let you in on a little secret… I would be extremely happy if we tied on this bet!

    According to the online calculators I have 19 lbs. to go before my Body Mass Index (BMI) drops below 30, which is the threshold between overweight and obese. It is almost laughable that I am working hard to be overweight, but that is how the medical community sees my next goal after dropping below 250 lbs. Although I doubt I knew anything about BMI back then I have no recollection of ever being anything other than obese after the Army… and looking at the calculator I know that even when I was an elite soldier in the best shape of my life I would still have been classified as obese. To fall under the Normal category for my height I would have to weigh 194 lbs. or less. Before Basic Training I weighed 220 lbs. As I have written previously, the BMI scale does not take muscle mass into account. I do not know if I will ever drop to 194 lbs., or even if I want to try. What I do want is for my body weight to be healthy. As I have said before, I lived too many years ‘playing with the house’s money.’ The fact that I stayed healthy all these years despite my obesity… well, how long can I expect that to go on? No… it is time for me to be slim and healthy.

    I have not heard the power mowers and trimmers for a few minutes, so it is likely the landscapers have moved on. As such, so will I. As I am fond of saying, it is now Cigar O’Clock, and time for me to sit on the balcony to study.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 588

    I woke up this morning all excited to get onto the bathroom scale. Why? I broke my word yesterday. I went for a very long walk (11km) which actually started as a jog for the first kilometre. When I came in, I showered of course, and then stepped onto the scale to see a massive weight loss. Of course, I know that when I weigh myself throughout the day, and especially when doing so after exercising, that it will not be either realistic or indicative of what I would weigh the following morning. When I step onto the scale before bed, I know that whatever the number is I can expect my morning weight to be 2 lbs. less… so when I stepped onto the scale before retiring, I was disappointed by the reality. This morning my weight was down from yesterday… but only by a small fraction of a pound. I was not running to the fridge to cross numbers off.

    My morning started off as it usually does, except that when I came in from walking the Floof I did not prepare my breakfast as I normally would. I did not even make coffee, although I am going to do that in a moment. I am off to the doctor’s office in a few minutes, and I do not want to eat before stepping onto the scale for my official weigh-in. I am expecting to see a 5kg drop from my last official weigh in, which was two months ago. While that would only be a .3kg drop from my previous weigh-in the month before, I want to make sure I am back on track… I don’t have to be kicking ass from May, I only need to show that I am recovered and on my way to being the best me ever. Come to think of it, even if I do show a .3kg drop from May, it will still be my best official weigh-in. Woohoo!

    An added benefit to not eating my breakfast before heading to the doctor is that while I will definitely be hungry as I drive home, I will not want to stop to pick up peanuts (as I have done on several occasions after seeing the doctor). I will want to rush home to make my omelette. Eating late might also (in theory) push my three meal replacements to later, but I will still try to finish all three of them. I know I need the nutrients.

    By the way, not only did I exercise yesterday, but I also did not cheat. I always feel good when I can honestly write that. It can be somewhat frustrating to know that on Tuesday I did cheat, and the following morning my weight dropped .6 lb, but on Wednesday I did not cheat, and the following morning my weight only dropped .2 lb. Grrr! Frustration!

    My coffee is brewing. I will prepare a to-go cup so that when I am finished with the doctor, I can immediately start drinking it in the car. There is no reason for me to wait the extra 30 minutes for me to get home and brew it. It’s amazing the things we think of to try to cut corners for efficiency.

    I’ll continue writing after breakfast, when I am back from the doctor.

    —

    I have no complaints with today’s check-in! I was hoping for a 5kg drop and I exceeded that by half a kilo. My blood pressure and pulse are both extremely good. The doctor encouraged me to be more vigilant with my exercise when I told her that I have been slack these last few weeks (until yesterday). Other than that, all is good.

    My favourite nurse was there for the first time in a few months. Since the change of doctor she is working reduced hours, so I have not seen her in a while. It was good to catch up with her. She has been telling me for months that she is inspired by my progress; I think she wants to try the program herself. I told her that if she wants to get a coffee to discuss what I have done then she can email me, and I will gladly give her all the advice I can.

    I did two things today that I have never done. The first is that I weighed myself with clothes on (on the bathroom scale; I am obviously always dressed at the doctor’s office). I then changed out of my long pants into shorts and weighed myself again. The mercury read 11° when I took Her Royal Floofness for her walk this morning, and there was no way I was going out in shorts. By the time I was ready to head out for my appointment it was only a couple of degrees warmer, but I wanted to be wearing lighter clothes. That might be weird, but the forecast says it will be sunny and 21° today so wearing shorts is not unreasonable. It was all for naught though… there was not one ounce difference in the readings from wearing long pants to short pants. Oh well.

    I have some studying to do today and hopefully my wife will have time for a video cigar date in the afternoon. Other than that my only other plan for the day is to not cheat. I got past the doctor appointment (and scheduled my next appointment the day after I am back from California). Hopefully the timing of my next appointment will serve to keep me in check the week I am away and keep me from indulging too much.

    Have a great day folks!