Category: Food

  • Day 38

    Last night was an incredible night, but yesterday was a very emotionally difficult day.

    The story:

    When I was in Montreal a couple of weeks ago, Esti (my father’s widow) gave me a DVD to borrow of a presentation that my father did. Dad grew up in a poor, very Jewish immigrant neighbourhood of Montreal (that has since been gentrified and populated by Yuppies). Eighty-some years later, there is a group “from the old hood” that is called The Boys/Girls of Esplanade, and they get together every so often to reminisce about the past. At a certain point, they started a tradition that at every meeting one member would get up and give a speech about his or her memories of the old neighbourhood, and how their lives evolved after leaving it. In October of 2017 it was Arthur’s turn, and it was recorded and put onto a DVD. I think he might have told me about it then, but I forgot. Esti was sure he had gotten copies to give to my sister and me, but I know I never got one.

    For the first time since my father died, I heard his voice. I heard him speaking, telling so many stories that I had heard before… and a few that I had never heard. For over an hour, my father told stories about his life, and I was in tears from nearly the first minute. Leslie held me throughout, and when there was something that she couldn’t understand (as Montreal Jews, we often throw in French, Hebrew, and Yiddish words into everyday conversation). At the end of the speech, I called Esti to tell her I had watched it, and then Leslie and I went to sit outside, and I smoked a very high-end cigar in my father’s memory. My father never smoked cigars – he smoked one in law school and got so sick that he never tried another – but he did not mind if I smoked them around him, as we sat on his back patio.

    In the evening, Leslie and I had a date night. I had a very high-end cigar, and I also had a glass of scotch whisky. It was the second dram that I enjoyed this week, and I know that it is completely not on the weight-loss program. The first one that I had was to calm me down during a very unpleasant disagreement between Leslie and me. It was a good dram, but I did not enjoy it because it was just to calm my nerves. The one I had last night was different. Leslie (at my request) brought me a bottle of Glenrothes 18-year-old Speyside whisky, and it was just heavenly. In fact, our entire date night was perfect. I prepared dinner as I usually do, and then I sat outside listening to music while Leslie got ready… and wow, did she doll herself up! My girlfriend is always pretty and sexy, but when she stepped out onto the balcony my jaw dropped. We had a fabulous time, and throughout the evening I think, if it is at all possible, we grew even closer together.

    I think the only cheat from yesterday was the whisky, but it was worth it! We went shopping yesterday afternoon, and I purchased two gorgeous salmon tails that I will prepare for dinner this evening. I also purchased sesame seeds, soy sauce, and ginger. Because of my diet, I cannot take Leslie out for Japanese food… but I can do my best to recreate at least some of that culinary experience for her (and for myself). She is a master of preparing rice, and she will be in charge of that… and yes, despite rice not being part of my plan, I will have a little bit… not a lot though.

    We got up a little later than usual this morning, but we stayed in bed and talked for a long time, so her omelet was a brunch omelet, and she will likely not need to eat before dinner. I had my breakfast shake and will have a salad mid-afternoon. Around 4:00pm she is scheduled for her Covid-19 test (she is flying home tomorrow afternoon) so we have to drive out to the area around the airport to do that, but we will then come home and have dinner.

    It is a nice day outside, and we took HRF Princess Sophie for a nice walk this morning. We will repeat that process this evening. It is our last evening together for this trip, which is sad, but knowing that she will be back in less than a month makes it a little easier.

    Have a great day folks, and enjoy the weekend, wherever you are!

  • Day 36

    I find that I have gotten into a routine of having a shake for breakfast, a salad (often with either canned salmon or tuna) for lunch, a proper (but well-planned and careful) dinner, and a bar in the evenings. I seem to be doing pretty well with my weight loss on that routine. We will see how it goes. This morning, I made an omelet for Leslie, and I helped her with it… just a few bites, but I have to remember these things when I am accounting for my food. It helps nobody to consume a food and not remember you ate it. “Hey, I cannot figure out why I am not losing weight!?” Maybe it’s because of that half-order of French toast of your child’s that you ate because you didn’t want it to go to waste.

    There are days when I feel that I cannot do anything right. I have to try to remember on those days that yes, most of what I did was good, but it is the things I got wrong that I focus on. That has been my history, because it was how I was taught. “Sure, Mitch… you did great on your math test, you played well with others, you even ate your greens… but none of that matters because you didn’t clean your room. Go there and do not come out until it is spotless.” There are days when I am nearly able to come to terms with the person that my mother was… and then I remember things like this, that to this day sabotage my happiness and that of other people, and I remember why I could not stand her when she was alive.

    Last night I made the fish with Buffalo wing sauce that I planned for, and it was very good. I put a couple of rainbow trout fillets into the air fryer, doused them in lemon juice, and cooked them for 10 minutes and 400°F. The sauce is one that I learned how to make when I was in college from my downstair neighbour who was studying to be a chef. It has four simple ingredients, three of which are almost always in my fridge or pantry anyways. I did have to buy ketchup, as I suppose I had thrown it out when I started the program. Once Leslie is gone, I will likely go back to the boring chicken-every-night routine, but while she is here, I am enjoying mixing it up. I also plan to, on days when I go to the supermarket, pick up a good piece of fish to enjoy that night. I do not like letting fish sit too long… you understand.

    I am waiting on two packages that are set to arrive by Canada Post today or tomorrow, and I am excited about both of them. One is a handle for the Corning ware pots that I am buying from Lyle and Dorothy. Meh, okay. There is a history behind these that is the reason I bought it… aside from the obvious ‘Corning ware pots don’t have handles’ aspect, my mother always had one in her kitchen… and it was something that my sister always said, ‘When she dies, I am taking this.’ She can have it. I’ll buy my own. Fuck you, Jennifer.

    The second package is a lot more fun. I have not bought new funky socks in a long time, and when I saw on Facebook that a buddy bought a pair of dim sum socks, I reached out and asked him where he found them. He told me… and I had fun. The short version of the story is that either today or tomorrow I will have eight new pair of fun socks.

    It is still a bit chilly to sit outside, but if the wind dies down just a little then I will sit with a cigar today. Leslie has a lot of work to do, and I only start teaching at 6:00pm. I suppose my goal for the day is to relax until then, and to not veer too badly from my weight management program. Oh, and to drink water. Plenty of water!

    Wherever you are, enjoy the day!

  • Day 34

    I am going to the doctor’s office to get weighed today. I do not think that it will be a successful attempt, as I still think my weight is over the upper limit of the scale. However, knowing that my bathroom floor will not allow me to take an accurate reading (and that it might be up or down fifteen pounds!) I decided to go anyways and see.

    My evening class is going well, and with the exception of IPv6 I am extremely comfortable with the material I am teaching now. DHCP and DNS are two topics that I have been lecturing on for over fifteen years, and frankly the changes to them over the years have been minor.

    I was mostly good on the program yesterday… I had a salad with canned salmon for lunch, but for the evening meal I bought and prepared salmon tails for Leslie and I (as well as making a large salad). I put them into the air fryer with lemon juice, a little salt, pepper, oregano, and dill. I air-fried them at 400°F for 11 minutes and plated them alone (opting to serve the salad in separate bowls. I brought the lemon juice to the table to allow for extra flavours, and the result was fabulous. I daresay, I seldom choose to prepare fish for dinner, but it really is an easy dish to prepare. The only cheat that I had yesterday was a slice of all-beef salami.

    For this evening Leslie is marinating chicken, and I know that if she is making it then I will love it. She is a really good cook. She asked me last night over dinner where I had learned to cook, and I gave her a bit of a rundown… yes, the genesis was in my mother’s house, but I cooked for myself ever since the Army, and on several occasions have even cooked for others. My repertoire is not too extensive, but I have a base that I can go to pretty easily. She told me that she asked because her ex was none too handy in the kitchen, and she does not want her son to get to the age of thirty without knowing how to make a sandwich. I told her about my grandfather, who after my grandmother went into the home would eat cans of anchovies for dinner because he did not know how to make anything else. I told her about my father, who I was certain would never leave my mother because he did not know how to make toast. I told her that I do not want to be that guy, and that I want to be able to eat well without having to eat out or order in every meal. I may not be able to make a lot of things, and what I do make is not complicated… but everything tastes good, and there is enough that I could make a different meal for every day of the week if I had to.

    —

    I am back from the doctor, and I am still several pounds above what their primary scale can measure… but they have a secondary scale that measured me at about what my bathroom scale has me at, if we take into account the weight of my clothes. I am unhappy to be this heavy, and I am certainly unhappy with the slower rate of progress (over my two previous attempts at this program); with that said, it is firstly possible that because of the floor/scale issues at the apartment I started out heavier that I recorded, and secondly, I need to remember that I have not been as religious with the program as I was the first two times. I might have already lost 40 lbs, who knows?

    I have a few hours to kill before I teach this evening, and I am going to spend most of that time on the balcony smoking cigars. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 33–Monday, February 21, 2022

    I have made no progress in a week… but with all the crap that has happened, I am just glad that I did not lose any ground either.

    Leslie and I went shopping yesterday and we bought two gorgeous dress shirts for me to wear for the next couple of months, until my nicer dress shirts start to fit. I spent more than I was planning to on the second shirt, but Leslie is so good to me, how could I deny her? Also, I thought it was a gorgeous shirt too!

    Yesterday I was good until I was not. Lyle made a fabulous dinner of boeuf bourguignon, which he prepared for me without noodles. I also ended up having a few of Leslie’s noodles when she was done, which means that not only did I go overboard on the portions, I also had the carbs which I have to work so hard to avoid. I will not have any more this week!

    It was a very nice weekend. Leslie and I spend at least an hour on the phone every day, but there are some things that are just easier to talk about (or at least to go into detail about) in person. It has gone both ways, and we have both had things to talk about. We also spent an hour on the patio yesterday smoking a very fine cigar, and I read her my favourite Rudyard Kipling poem from a book of his that I purchased a couple of weeks ago… printed in 1899. The book is delicate, but how much more romantic can it be than to read poetry to your beloved… even if it is a poem about having to choose between a woman and cigars.

    I am working this evening, and Leslie is working during the day. She plans to audit my class tonight, which will be fun. She has heard me present to an audience before, but she has never actually seen me teach. Also, it has been a year since I last had an in-person audience! While she works, I will be sitting on the balcony smoking – it is a beautiful day, the first in a series of days that will be unseasonably warm. Tomorrow afternoon Lyle will come for a cigar or two, which will be nice. Of course, Dorothy is always invited, but she works during the days, so that won’t work out. Hopefully Leslie will have enough of a break between meetings to join us for a bit.

    My goddaughter’s birthday party was supposed to be next Saturday, but her mom messaged me yesterday telling me it is postponed by a week. She (the mom) tested positive for Covid-19 and is isolating for two weeks. I am sending her positive vibes for a full and speedy recovery.

    After a couple of hours of distractions, I am on my way to finish my day. My friend the cleaning lady is here, Leslie is working, I have had a salmon salad for lunch. I do not have to teach for another five hours, and I am going to choose a fine cigar and sit out on the balcony for a few hours.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 28

    For the first time since I started this journal, this is not the first entry that I am writing today. I started by writing the 1200-word essay I call “A Cause to Die For” which I will publish today as well. I am sick of people equating the current situation in Canada with Nazi Germany, and I had to say something.

    My emotions are not getting a whole lot better, and my food intake yesterday shows it. I had two pieces of chicken, a couple of pieces of cheese, and a couple of extra meal replacements. I am not proud of myself for it, and I hope that I will be able to rein my eating in a bit today and going forward. I have been lacking discipline, and the only good thing that I can say about it is that I did not completely go nuts and order a pizza (or something equally bad for my diet.

    Leslie is being a big help, although she thinks she is failing me. She wants to be here for me, and in truth I wish she was here… but we are in a long-distance relationship, and her next visit is not for 33 days from now. Yes, I would love for her to be here to hug me and hold me. Her caring for me, even from Texas, means everything to me. She keeps asking how she can help or support me, not realizing that just being there for me means the world.

    I woke up this morning angry with how I ate yesterday, and hopeful that today I can do better. I do have to go shopping though… I am out of chicken and tomatoes, and while I do have half an onion left, it is not the sweet onion I usually buy (it was a Spanish onion that was mislabeled). The weather is unseasonably warm (although I suspect rather windy), and Lyle will come over in the afternoon for a cigar. In the meantime, I’ll do my shopping, and I want to go through the labs that I will be working on with my students this evening. They are all Linux-based, which means that they are not really in my comfort zone, as would be Windows-based labs. Not a problem, but I like to stay ahead of them as we go through the class. (It is not the first time I have taught the class, but CompTIA released a new version of the class in January, and the labs are mostly brand new). So: class-prep, shopping, and cigars… and then teaching in the evening. It sounds like a pretty normal day!

    I am wearing the shirt that finally arrived in the missing package yesterday. Wouldn’t you know it? It is the first of the shirts that I ordered to Leslie’s house that actually fits now… none of my stomach is showing! That does not mean that I’ve lost weight, rather that the shirt that I ordered in October is the only one that I ordered in the correct size.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 23

    Yesterday would have been a good day… had I not had pumpkin seeds to put on my salad. I do not think the seeds on the salad were the problem, but the fact that I devoured the rest during my evening break was. I must have added 300 calories to my daily total… not to mention that I had two pieces of chicken rather than one. While I still don’t trust the scale, it was up 1.6 lbs from yesterday morning. That is not good.

    This morning, after her daily walk, I drove Princess Sophie to Nathalie’s house. Nathalie answered my ad when I was looking for a dog walker (after I broke my ankle), and my little girl likes her. I am off to Montreal for the weekend, and it seems that she intimidated Isolina’s cat on our last visit, and thus is not welcome there. The thought of Princess Sophie intimidating anyone is pure comedy, but my choices were either to bring her to Montreal and stay somewhere else (I could not easily find anyone willing this close to the weekend), not go to Montreal, or put her up with Nathalie. Tonight will be the first night since we were reunited that she is not sleeping in my bed… at least for a few minutes. I’m not going to lie; I am a bit emotional having left her. It will only be for a few days though, and we will be back together Monday.

    Speaking of Montreal, this will be a challenging weekend for the weight loss program. I will take my shakes with me, and I will do my best to not veer from the program. It is easier to maintain a hybrid program when I am home alone; staying with friends (and visiting with others) I would be relying on their cooperation with the dietary needs, and I am not going to put anyone through that. Rather than trying to explain to them what I need, I will simply stick to the meal replacements. Esti (my father’s widow) and I might order chicken for lunch, but I will have the rotisserie chicken only – no side dishes.

    Last night I was speaking with my diet buddy, and I told her I was going to Montreal, and she started to talk very fondly about some of the foods that city has to offer. If you were unaware, it is a truly culinary gem, with some of the best restaurants in North America (including the midrange ones). The deli, the bagels… I shut her down and asked her to not remind me. I told her that upon my return, we can discuss them… before the trip it was a bad idea. I did not want to be reminded ahead of time of all the easily accessed foods that I could cheat with. It will be hard enough to stay on track as it is.

    My goal for the weekend: Stay the course. Don’t eat anything that is not planned; stick to my shakes when possible and drink a lot of water. I will also be smoking a few cigars with my friends, which will be a nice distraction. I also plan to visit my father’s gravesite. That is always an emotional time for me, but it is also a son’s obligation. It has been nearly ten months since I got that terrible phone call, and I still miss him terribly.

    Okay… time to pack up (computer, clothes, and cigars) and hit the road. Had I been better organized, I would have been ready to hit the road as soon as I dropped Princess Sophie off, but I had a choice… I decided to relax and not stress, and not delay her morning ritual of going out as soon as I’m dressed. My morning ritual has evolved into coming home from her walk, making my coffee and my shake, and writing in my journal. If accountability is going to be such a large part of my success, then I wanted to write about yesterday’s failures… before I hit the road.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Day 22

    I did not think to take my measurements this morning. I don’t think that has to be a weekly occurrence, but I will do it from time to time.

    Yesterday was a gluttonous day, mostly within the parameters of my hybrid program. For my lunch I had a bowl of soup and a salad. With my dinner I had two bowls of salad instead of one… and because I had run out of many of my vegetables, I decided to put a little bit of cheese onto it… and then I had another piece of cheese. It is amazing to think that I am kicking myself over a 1300 calorie day where no starch or excessive carbs were consumed.

    Still and all, I did not gain weight from yesterday to today, I just did not lose any either. I suppose my hybrid approach is what slowed my weight loss (as compared to my previous attempts at the program, where I was over 30 lbs down each time by now). I am going to stay the course though. I believe that this hybrid approach is the healthier way to increase my chances of long-term success.

    I decided as I got dressed this morning to don the button-down shirt that I bought to wear to the service for my father. As I expected, it fits fine (and might even be a little loose, which is likely how I bought it). I also decided to wear a tie with it, for two reasons. Firstly, I always feel a little better when I am dressed nicely. For the last few months, I have only been able to wear pull-over shirts, and even the one button-down shirt that almost fit was not the sort to wear a tie with. The second reason is that I know how much Leslie enjoys when I dress up. She has a thing for me in a tie, and I like making her happy… even though we have about 1,400 miles between us.

    The weather today is not too bad… a little windy, but I think I can take it I’ll have a cigar on the balcony after my lunch, and I will relax before I have to teach this evening. I also have to make a quick trip to the supermarket; I am not only low on chicken, but I am also completely out of vegetables for my salad. I also have a box to ship to Leslie, which I have been delinquent in taking care of.

    Have a great day folks!

  • STOP DOING THAT!

    I fell off the diet wagon today, and I am ashamed of myself. The only good news of it is that most of what I fell off with was not too bad, and all stuff I have in the house – which means that I did not get a bag of chips or candy or fast food. The biggest guilt of it was cheese, but I also had a couple more salads throughout the day than I usually should.

    I think the reason I fell was that I did not drink water today. I had a small bottle this morning, and that was it. I am downing the water now, and I will make a point of reminding myself in the morning how important it it.

    Fall down seven times… get back up eight. Tomorrow is another day.

  • Fast Food: A Treat, Not a Lifestyle.

    For all of the blame I put on my parents for the psychological damage that led to my obesity, there were some things that they did right. Fast food (whether it was McDonalds or Wendy’s or Harvey’s) was always a rare treat, not a regular occurrence. I have fond memories of my father taking us to Harvey’s for a hamburger and French fries and a Coke. He enjoyed it as much as we did, but it was an occasional weekend treat. Even when we were on vacation, we would eat at (slightly) healthier restaurants.

    Paper routes aside, my first job was working at a computer store called Montreal Data Products, on Mackay Street above St. Catherine Street. It was during that era that I started to go to McDonalds on my own, with my own money. I went a lot. I guess it was when I had my own disposable income (and not just my allowance) that I was able to do so, giving little heed to whether or not it was a good idea.

    I do not remember if I ever told my parents that I was doing this, but I do know that had they told me it was a bad idea it would have encouraged me to go more. Remember the psychological trauma I experienced at the hands (both figurative and literal) of my mother? By the time I was fourteen (which is when I started working) I was rebelling. I remember the last time my mother raised a hand to me, I raised mine back at her. I was done doing as I was told for fear of being hit. Unfortunately, there are no good lessons to tell a fourteen-year-old boy making that transition how to differentiate between what is good for you and what is not.

    When I was living in Tel Aviv, I worked at a t-shirt and army supply store in Tel Aviv that catered to tourists, and right downstairs from our store (in Dizengoff Centre) was a McDonalds, and I ate there more than occasionally, switching it out for a few other fast-food restaurants in the area. Eventually, a Thai sandwich shop opened down the block, and they made a spectacular chicken sandwich which may not have been truly healthy but was certainly much more so than. McDonalds.

    I spent a couple of years eating kosher, so most fast-food restaurants were off limits. Toward the end of my military service, probably the last two or three months, I started to hitch a ride down from my post in the Golan Heights to a bus station which had a McDonalds in it, and I probably did this 2-3 nights per week. By this time, I had grown to hate Army food, and while there were other options, not many of them were as convenient. There was also a girl I was flirting with who worked at the army supplies store next door, so that probably played a part to my frequency there.

    My return to civilian life and Canada made much more and much more unhealthy fast foods so readily available. I always preferred either a Montreal smoked meat sandwich with French fries or a large plate of Buffalo wings over a burger… not to mention that the pizza in Montreal is absolutely incredible.

    If you want to know how I came to be disgustingly fat, here is your answer. I love a good steak, and I do not need or want any sauce on it, which means it is healthy. I don’t need a giant baked potato next to it. All of this to say that a good steak dinner is not entirely fattening… assuming that whatever negative health effects that may bring on, it is still healthier than any of the fast foods that I mentioned. I became fat off of fast food and an overabundance of junk food snacks, ranging from chips to chocolates to gummies and G-d knows what else.

    Is fast food evil? Of course not. Should it be part of your healthy diet? No. As with everything else in life, it is fine… in moderation. If someone makes fast food (all of them are terribly unhealthy, but some are worse than others) an occasional treat with an otherwise healthy diet, they will not balloon up to 300+ pounds. If, on the other hand, the fast food becomes your daily routine, then you are going to pay for it in the end. Weight gain is not the only ill-effect either. Expect to see your cholesterol raised and your blood pressure and all manner of other body measurements that your doctor tracks.

    One of the problems with fast foods is that not only are they tasty, but they can also be addictive. Aside from the salt (which is certainly a substance that our body craves), most fast foods contain myriad other chemicals, and once we are used to them, our body craves them. Additionally, the large chains spend billions of dollars on feeding those cravings. McDonalds’ colour scheme is not what it is because Ray Kroc loved orange and yellow and red; they have scientific findings that prove that these colours make you hungry and lower your inhibitions which might allow you to order the extra-large fries or the ten-piece nuggets instead of the six-piece nuggets.

    The fast food industry chains (not only McDonalds… all of the chains) have marketing budgets that could cure hunger in the third world, and they spend that money every year reminding you that you deserve a break today, or you can have it your way, or they will deliver in 30-minutes or it’s free, or they have the meats, or whatever the ad campaign might be to get you through their doors, or dialing their numbers. Of course, if you deserved a break yesterday, don’t you deserve one today too?

    If you find yourself eating more fast food than you did when you were younger, these are just some of the reasons.

    The goal of my weight loss routine is not only to lose the weight, but also to get healthier, and to change my eating habits. I know that I need to change my unhealthy relationship with food. This is going to mean, when I am off the extreme program, that I will be cooking for myself most days, with the occasional restaurant indulgence. More often than not, that restaurant indulgence should still be something healthier. You can eat healthy at a Chinese restaurant, but most of the foods that I like there are wok fried and battered in sauce, which means they are poor choices. Sushi, on the other hand, is a much healthier choice. I believe that when you look at a piece of food and you can easily identify all of the individual ingredients by sight then you are likely eating something healthier than something that is unrecognizable.

    Does this mean that I will never eat fast food again? Probably not. I am sure that there will be times when I am on the road, when I know that I have been eating well and exercising and staying in shape when I might allow myself to indulge. With that said, it has to be a treat, and never a lifestyle.

    I confess I have never watched that movie about the guy who only ate McDonalds for a year. I do not know what the outcome was, and I do not particularly care. All of our bodies are different, and I know that eating fast foods (what my grandfather would have referred to as dreck) is bad for me and will cause me to return to my previous (current, but hopefully soon it will be previous!) morbidly obese size. I do not want that. I also do not want my doctor to ever have to tell me ‘Okay, now that you have had a heart attack, this is how you have to start eating.’

    Conclusion

    The occasional hamburger and fries will not cause morbid obesity. In fact, it is relatively simple to make a hamburger and French fries healthy, or at least less fattening. The burger and fries that I would make at home would almost certainly be tastier and would most certainly be healthier than anything I get from a fast-food burger joint. However, it is not only the food that is addictive, but also the convenience that draws us. We live in a hustle and bustle world of in which two-parent families have two parents in the workforce, and so many single parents have to struggle to fit everything into the day, and the time spent shopping, preparing, cooking, and then cleaning for and after a meal can be cut into a fraction by ordering in or taking out. Single people know that it is no fun preparing food for one, and the convenience of take-out is a draw… especially when you do not even have to get out of your car to grab dinner on the way home.

    While the convenience is a draw, we have to consider the negative health effects (both short term and long term) of these unhealthy food choices. When we do, hopefully we will make them far less frequently than we do today… and just maybe the chains who spend billions to lure you in through their doors will have less money to spend on marketing.

  • Addictions and Gluttony

    This comic was delivered to my inbox this morning.

    Candy Polyamory – The Oatmeal

    How many times have I felt this? How often have I bought a large bag of chips or chocolates (by coincidence, I would usually go for the Peanut M&Ms that are depicted in the comic) and enjoy them… alone. I would go through an entire bag of them without batting an eyelash. I am trying to think if I had any shame about it. The truth is, if I bought the bag to take home, I would eat them alone.  If I bought them for the car, then I was usually alone in the car.

    One of the main characters in one of the greatest TV shows of all time, The West Wing, was Leo McGarry, the White House Chief of Staff, is a recovering alcoholic. He often makes mention that he doesn’t want one drink, he wants ten… and in one of the flashback scenes in which he fell off the wagon, you see him drinking alone, having emptied the minibar of all of the booze in his hotel room.

    I am not that bad, that I would eat every candy… but I do not have to think that far back when I last drove (alone) from my home in Burlington, Ontario to visit friends in Montreal (about a six hour drive). Knowing that chips and candies were cheaper at the supermarket than they were at gas stations and other stops along the way, I bought two large bags of chips, and another large bag of Peanut M&Ms. Having an open bag of chips on the passenger seat was easy, as long as I made sure to pay Princess Sophie her Snacks-Tax. I cannot say for sure that the first bag of chips was finished by the time I crossed the Greater Toronto Area (maybe a 90 minute drive), but I do know that more than one full bag of chips and the entire bag of chocolates were gone by the time I got to Montreal. I made sure to hide the evidence – the discarded wrappers would be in the garbage bag, that was then disposed of at my earliest opportunity. If someone did get into the car (or just stuck their head in for whatever reason) I did not want them seeing that I polished off however much I had eaten.

    I have to constantly remind myself that food is an addiction. The problem is that it is also a necessity of life. You cannot live without eating, but eating too much can eventually kill you. What a quandary. Making the right choices for the rest of my life will have to be an absolute constant. Does that mean I won’t be able to have a bag of chips? No… but knowing my addiction and predilection for gluttony, I will buy the SMALL bag of chips, not the large one. I will buy the SMALL portion of chocolate, not the bag labeled ‘Family Size’ or ‘Sharing Pack’. I will buy the single bag.

    I have often found myself in the chips aisle thinking to myself: “I cannot decide if I would rather the Regular Ruffles, or the Miss Vickie Salt & Vinegar… I guess I’ll just buy both.” I cannot do that! I have to pick one… and while it is always going to be much more costly, I will buy those smaller portions at retailers where they have the smaller size, rather than buying from the supermarket, where the larger sizes are encouraged (and the individual sizes are nowhere to be found).

    Family Size, Party Size, Sharing Size… all crap. These are euphemisms for Gluttony Size, and I’m not having it… anymore.