Losing a part of me

Category: Jogging

  • Day 745

    I booked my airfare yesterday and it is confirmed. One week from today I am waking up at way before the sun does and I am heading to the airport. I have never flown to Cuba through the US before and I do not know what to expect (what with them pulling me aside for in-depth inspection every time I fly into the country) but I do know that barring unforeseen changes or delays, I will be landing in Havana shortly after noon, and will be spending the next ten days in that wonderful city. I have been there dozens of times, but I do not know what to expect. I have heard so many terrible things about Cuba’s current situation, and I am worried about what I am going to find when I get there. I am hoping it is not as bad as some people are saying.

    While I was not great with my food intake yesterday, I was very good with my activity. I jogged 5km on the treadmill – my first full 5km jog without stopping or slowing to a walk in quite some time. I am going to try to do the same (or better) again today. I am not sure about the exact distance because of a discrepancy between my fitness watch and the treadmill, so I am going to figure out how to calibrate the two as well. However far I jogged, I spent 39 minutes running on the treadmill. The settings I use are a 3% incline and a pace of 4mph, so simple math tells me that I would be about 2.62 miles, which is only 4.22km. I guess I am not running as far as I thought. Today’s calibration should take care of that.

    After the massive gain from a couple of days ago, I am now down nearly a pound from Friday. If I can be disciplined today, then I should be able to lose another few ounces tomorrow morning. This may sound strange but knowing that I am planning to calibrate my watch will incentivize me to make sure I get in a good run this morning! Who knows? Maybe I will go longer than I have been going. I stopped running yesterday because my watch read 5km, but I probably could have gone another few minutes easily.

    Eduardo is coming over for a cigar in the afternoon. I am looking forward to seeing him. After that? I am thinking of doing some work on my computer… It has been acting weird, and I am thinking that wiping it and starting from scratch might be a fun project to get rid of gremlins and take my mind off things at the same time.

    Okay, I am going to change my outfit, then pull the treadmill down and hit the virtual trails. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 554

    I was disappointed this morning to see that I actually gained another half pound yesterday. With that said, while I remember what I ate for dinner, I cannot recall what I had for lunch. I did not go out to eat, but when Leslie’s son is here, it is hard to make good choices because we have to take his finicky eating (perfectly normal for his age) into account. As an example, dinner was tacos. If I can keep with my exercising, then I suspect that once I am back in Canada I will be able to continue to lose weight. It is a simple matter of not having to take anyone else into account when preparing food.

    I remember the first time I went through the program in 2017. I was in a group at the clinic, and I was far and away the most successful on the program. I thought at the time that it was because I was just more disciplined than they were; now I realize that a big part of that was that I lived alone. When having to prepare food for others it is not so simple to stay disciplined, is it?

    This morning I was not only able but was more or less obligated to go out for my daily exercise. Leslie had two important meetings for which she was to be on camera the entire time (and speaking as well). I told her that for her first meeting I would go out for my walk; between the two meetings I would come in to shower and shave and be on the balcony with a cup of coffee and my cigar in time for her second meeting to start. That is exactly what happened, and that is exactly where I am now. If you have been reading my journal this past week, then you will know that there was one day when I tried to jog, and immediately realized that my ankle was having some issues, so I pulled up and walked instead. I decided to try again this morning, even if it was only for one or two kilometres. When I stepped out of the apartment it was barely 82° which is hot in Canada, but pretty cool in Dallas in July. Still, I was not sure if it would be sustainable. I pushed myself to jog for twenty minutes because one of the apps that I use discards anything less (for a particular challenge, not for my overall stats). Had I been thinking at the time, I would have continued jogging to round up to 3km, but was just considering the time, and so I jogged 2.72km this morning, making pretty decent time (considering it was my first jog in quite some time). I then reset my counters and started walking. Before I set out, I wanted to complete 10km, and so as I walked into the apartment complex about 700m short, I walked around the buildings until my watch read 7.3kms. I am quite satisfied with my exercising for the week, with 42km recorded since Monday. As long as I get out tomorrow morning, I will easily hit 50km for the week, with only one day off (Wednesday).

    Leslie asked me an important question a few nights ago. She knows that I had my weight down to 250 lbs. just two months ago before I fell off a bit, and by the middle of this month, I peaked just shy of 25 lbs. heavier than that. She loves me either way, but she wants me to be happy, and wanted to know what would happen if I realized that I could not get below 250 lbs.? I told her that I had certainly given a lot of thought to where I would eventually end up, and what I would do or how I would feel if what I have often stated my ultimate as was indeed unachievable. I told her that I know I can get below 250 lbs. for certain, but I would continue to listen to my body. Yes, I have taken several breaks from the program, and have stopped losing weight a number of times over the course of these last 18 months. On a few of those occasions (as with this one) I have even gained back a lot of the weight I had lost, before getting back on track. Without looking it up, I am guessing that this past relapse – during which I at one point had given back nearly 25 lbs. – was the worst, but it is by no means the only one. If I follow the patterns of the previous relapses (which were more realistically plateaus), then I will finally decide that it is time to push forward; I will redouble my efforts, and I will get back on track. I do not know if this is the first time I put words to it, but I do know that at my age it is possible that getting below 200 lbs. may not be realistic. What about 230 lbs.? What about 220? I am going to listen to my body, and at a certain point I am going to decide that I am happy with myself, and I am not going to continue depriving myself. When I get to that point, I am going to set a range, and I am going to force myself to stay in that range. For example, were I to decide that 220 lbs. is where I am comfortable, then I will stop dieting. I will not, however, stop being mindful, and I will not stop weighing myself on a daily basis. If I realize that after a few weeks of letting myself go – holidays, vacations, whatever the reason – I see that I am pushing 230 lbs., then I will go on a diet to get myself back to that ideal weight again. I will never let myself go again to the point where I have gained even 25 lbs., not to even speak of going back to being morbidly obese. That idea scares me to no end.

    Unfortunately I know that I am a food addict, and I have to pay extra care to not let that happen. I can never revert to the gluttonous ways that got me to my heaviest weight – and did it three times, no less. How does someone go from being a soldier to being a fat slob? The only way that could happen was if I had psychological issues, which I did… and not only my addiction. Indeed, many of those issues and traumas are likely what led to my addiction. I have come to learn how to manage those issues, and I think I am much healthier mentally now than I have been at any point these last thirty years. Still, I can never forget; I can never let myself go. My obesity exasperated my psychological issues, and that is a vicious course that I do not want to get back onto again.

    With this entry, my journal has surpassed 500,000 words. I am no longer at my lowest weight ever, but I am still 130 lbs. lighter than I was the day I wrote my first one. I am still a work in progress, and I doubt anyone will ever read this entire tome. Still, I am proud of what I have accomplished so far… and will continue to journal my thoughts until I am satisfied that I am where I need to be. Once I am there, I will wait another year before declaring victory. Before that, I will earn my Fourth Dan Black Belt, and with a little perseverance, next year I can run that marathon that I once told my first wife that I would run. Of course, I told her I wanted to run the Buenos Aires Marathon, and that might not happen… but there are marathons closer to home too… wherever home will be when I am ready.

    Because of my tight schedule, I skipped breakfast this morning, and so I am going to go prepare my lunch. Despite skipping breakfast, I will not go overboard. I am going to prepare a chicken breast with a side of rice. For dinner, I am going to tell Leslie to take Armin for whatever he likes so that I can, after my evening class, just have a salad. To honour the Sabbath I might even share a bottle of wine with my wife… there is a very lovely bottle of Veuve Cliquot which we both enjoy that we have been chilling. I think that for now I will do well with moderation… rather than deprivation.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 518

    This morning I did not wake up with the crack of dawn, and I did not get out for a run before breakfast. I did, however, put my workout gear which I hoped would motivate me to go out to exercise in the morning. I took Princess Sophie for a nice walk before breakfast (as I always do). Following breakfast I checked a few things on the computer before heading out for my jog. I did improve upon my performance from the last couple of days, jogging the first 3km and then walked another 6km before heading in for a shower… and a lot of water. I was disappointed that the numbers on the bathroom scale were slightly higher this morning. It was not a drastic jump, but I had been hoping that my early morning workout would keep my downward trend going. Oh well… but as I have said so often it is not about the individual plots on the graph, but about the downward trend.

    I picked up a wild mushroom pizza from Son of a Peach which I knew Leslie would love… as did I. For dinner we will enjoy the leftover chicken breasts from what I made a couple of nights ago before sitting out with a cigar and a bottle of wine. We are enjoying our time together and neither of us wants it to end. Fortunately I booked my next trip to visit her in three weeks so our time apart will not be too long. It is easier to manage our separations when we know that they will not be for too long.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 486

    “I know that the scale giveth, and the scale taketh away.” I wrote this quote in the last paragraph of yesterday’s journal entry, knowing full well that after the tremendous weight loss of the last few days, even if I stuck to my program there was a good chance that my weight would not drop more this morning. While it did not drop like it had the previous few days, I was still down. That means that I am, once again, in best weight ever territory!

    Yesterday was not an easy day to be successful. Indeed, it was a struggle, but I made it through. I think if I look back on my previous jumps from partial program (or falling off the wagon completely for a few days) back onto the full-fast program, the third day has always been difficult. True to my plans, I went out for a jog/walk around 1:30pm after my second meal replacement of the day. When I returned home I showered and relaxed a little. While my plan was to have a cigar on the balcony, I was starting even then to realize just how tired and worn down I was. I decided to have my third meal replacement, and then lie down to try to take a nap. I am not sure if I slept, but I rested for an hour or so before Her Royal Floofness told me she wanted to go out for a walk. It was a longer than usual walk for a late afternoon, but I was happy to accommodate her. I told Leslie that I was exhausted and would be going to bed and to sleep early. We spoke for a while as I enjoyed my final meal replacement, and I was asleep by about 9:45pm. Yes, this old man was asleep before 10pm on a Saturday night. My younger self would be pointing and laughing at me.

    My early night to bed paid off. My Sleep Score was 81. Could it have been better? Yes… but it has not been better in a long time, and I will take it!

    I had a huge non-scale victory yesterday! I went to put on my jeans and was again miffed by how loose they were. Remember a month or so ago, when I noticed that my Size-38 jeans were loose and I tried to fit into my Size-36 jeans… only to realize that they were still way too tight? Well, I tried again… and they fit! To be clear, I did not go through every pair until one of them fit; I grabbed the first pair of Levi 501s off the top. They are tight, but they button to the top without too much effort. Hooray!! Sometime today I will probably go through the rest of the bin and see if the others fit, and I will do a bit of rotation in my armoire. I doubt they will all fit, but we are getting there. I predict that sometime in the not-too-distant future I will no longer have any bins labeled ‘clothes that don’t fit me yet.’ Sometime after that, I predict that I will need to start shopping for clothes again!

    I have been giving thought to how to approach the coming week. My calendar is packed during my usual waking hours. Tomorrow morning I start teaching a daytime class (which, unlike my last class, is 8-hours per day). In the evening tomorrow I have my Cigar Sommelier class, then Tuesday through Thursday I am teaching in the evening. Fortunately my daytime class is in the central time zone, which means that the 9-5 class is actually 10-6 where I am. I have set my alarm for each morning this week to go off at 5:55am. It is my hope that I am able to get out of bed, finish my usual morning bathroom routine by 6:45am, then take Her Floofness out for her walk. I should be home from that by 7:30am, at which point I will go out for my jog/walk. My last few outings have been between 80-90 minutes, so I would be home by 9:00am. I can then shower, get dressed, and prepare my coffee and morning meal replacement, say my morning prayers, and be ready at my computer by 9:30am… exactly the thirty minutes prior to class that I am asked to be in class. I will try to do this for at least three days of the week… and I will see how well I am able to do. I am not usually a morning person and getting up and at ‘em that early has not traditionally been my thing. At least, not in the 27 years since I finished active duty.

    Of course, this means that I will be trying to go to bed earlier than I usually do. My evening classes finish by 9:30pm, and I will immediately get ready for bed and jump into the rectangle with my wife. If I am able to keep this up, there will be no cigars for me until Friday… or at least, from Tuesday through Thursday, as my evening class on Monday is in fact my cigar class, which I am going to try to join from the balcony so that I can smoke during the class.

    Tuesday morning will not be a jogging morning, one way or another. I have to get my bloodwork done one day this week (in advance of my appointment next week with my doctor), and so I put it onto my calendar for Tuesday morning. Of I cannot get there Tuesday, then it will change to Wednesday… but that has to be done, one way or another.

    My plans for today are simple. In a few minutes, I am meeting with my diet buddy. She is unable to meet face to face today, so it will be a Facetime call. No problem. After that, I will suit up and go out for my jog. After a good night of sleep, my Body Battery was charged up to 79/100 when I woke up, but somehow has dropped in these last three hours to 66. No matter, that is still good enough to get a really good Sunday jog in. It is a sunny day and warm but not hot, and I am going to see if I can jog a full 10km today. After that, I will come home to shower and enjoy my second meal replacement. In the afternoon I am going to visit with my buddy Lyle and his wife, which should be a nice time. I have not seen them since before I flew off to Dallas last, and it will be nice to catch up. In the evening I will come home and relax and test some new technology – I ordered an electronic picture frame to hang in my apartment, and I want to hang it and load it up with pictures from the wedding. After that, I plan to relax on the balcony, and when her son is asleep I will chat with my wife for a few minutes before hitting the sack.

    There are a couple of temptations that I need to avoid today. I have too often stopped in at Bulk Barn to pick up a handful of peanuts on my way to or from (or both) Lyle’s house. I have to stay mindful and make sure that today can truly be my fourth straight day of sticking to my program. I am now three pounds from a very major milestone, and I do not want to dilly-dally on my way there. It is possible that one or two days this coming week I will not lose weight or even possibly gain weight… but that goes back to the scale giving and taking away. My goal is to make sure that if it does happen that it is not because I cheated. I will stay mindful. I will stay focused. I will achieve my goals.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 485

    On Friday, March 31 (Day 436) I was thrilled to drop below 255 lbs. because that had been my best weight in the year 2005. With a trip to Dallas, falling off my exercise due to an injured foot and whatever else was going on in my head, it would take me two more weeks to drop another 1.4 lbs. to my best weight ever. With the excitement and stress of planning the wedding and then the difficulties I had getting back on track, one month to the day after that wonderful achievement, I stepped onto the scale last Sunday and realized I had gained 13.8 lbs. in a month.

    Three things happened that day.

    The first was that I met with my diet buddy for coffee; for the first time in months, I was not upbeat and optimistic. I was not a beacon of hope, I was not an example of success. I was exuding sadness. My confidence was gone, At the end of the meeting I told her that I needed to get back on track, and I was going to start by going for a jog almost as soon as she left. I told her that on our next check-in I would have positive progress to share and I would have my positive attitude back.

    The second thing that happened is I sent a text to my wife in Texas. We had a bit of a fight that morning, which was probably caused a bit by my down attitude of late, and a bit by the inability to easily convey tone in a text message, thus leading to misunderstandings. A few weeks earlier, she asked me at what point would I want her to ‘crack down’ on my slide. I told her at that time that I was fine, and that as soon as the wedding was behind us, I would fall right back into my weight loss and exercise program. The text that I sent last Sunday read: “Babe, I don’t remember the exact words, but a few weeks ago you asked me when you should start giving me grief about my diet. We are there.’ Later in the afternoon (it was Mother’s Day, and so she was spending the day with my stepson) we talked and agreed that I would wean myself off the bad habits by Wednesday or Thursday at the latest, and she would hold me to it. Like an amazing supporter, she did not set the deadline for me; rather, she asked me to set it. That way, I could not turn around and make excuses like, ‘you set unreasonable expectations for me.’ No, that was all on me.

    The third thing that happened was I did indeed go for a jog. I did not know how much I would have in me, but I was going to do my best… and then I would walk the rest of the way. It did not matter how far or how fast I ran, I just needed to kickstart my exercise routine again.

    These three things from last Sunday (a mere six days ago) worked together to get me back on track… and my body started responding even before Thursday. By the morning I was resuming my full-fast program I had already dropped an incredible 6.4 lbs., which was honestly unexpected considering some of what I ate those days. The real shock would be spread between yesterday and today, which saw a two-day combined loss of a whopping 7.4 lbs., from just two days on my full-fast… and two days of jogging and walking, despite what my Body Battery said.

    Six straight days of weight drops (most of them very significant drops!) totaled an almost unimaginable 13.8 lbs. … and if you read back to the first paragraph of this journal entry, that is the exact amount I had gained during the month of sliding. Yes, this morning I stepped onto the scale and was greeted by the same number as my best weight ever. That means that the next ounce that I lose will be my new record.

    Speaking of jogging, Here are my stats from yesterday. It was not very impressive, but at least I got out there.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 4.03km (6.1km)
    • Duration: 28:26 (42:32)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m02s (6m58s)
    • Steps: 4,530 (6,720)
    • Calories burned: 450 (750)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 159 (158)

    Like I said… I did not break any records.

    There are days when I swear that my fitness watch knows me better than I know myself. Then there are days like today, when I cannot understand some of the readings. I woke up this morning, energized that I got six uninterrupted hours of sleep (and then two more hours after a quick visit to the bathroom). I was going to should for joy about the amazing sleep that I got! When I looked at my wrist I could not understand the sleep score of 49/100. Reading deeper, the portal says that ‘You slept long enough, but your body did not recharge very well. As a result, you may tire more easily today. You got a lot of intense exercise yesterday, and it impacted your sleep quality. Try to eat well, get plenty of rest and perform very strenuous activities sparingly.’ Really? Then how come I felt so good this morning? How come I still feel great three hours later? The other one is Body Battery. I really thought I recharged last night, and yet my BB this morning peaked at a mere 43/100. Garmin might know something that I do not, but I am still planning to go out for a jog this afternoon after the rain stop, which is predicted for around 1:00pm. Of course, it is always possible that I will crap out after 2km (which has happened before), but I am going to give it my best either way.

    Since I do not feel like going out in the rain, I will spend the next couple of hours looking at wedding pictures which Leslie and I just received. I am really excited that they are in and will be renaming files to match the content of each. So far, we have 165 pictures. I do not know if there will be more, but that is a good number to look at and rename… not to mention decide which ones to print and which ones to share with others! I decided to order an electronic picture frame so that I can rotate my favourites and have it on the wall. That should arrive tomorrow.

    My original plan for today was to smoke cigars with a couple of buddies, but one of them told me that he is not available this weekend, and the other has not yet responded. I will likely try to call him soon because he is not the type who is tied to his phone but will hear it if it rings. If he is not available then I will simply relax at home this evening. Whatever I end up doing, Two things are certain: I am going to go out to jog, whatever my BB may tell me. I am going to stay on my program, which means no cheats whatsoever. I joked with Leslie yesterday evening that when I got into my car I cheated because there was a single kernel of popcorn on the passenger seat (I ate popcorn at the mall after my trip to the Apple Store). I think we can all agree that a single kernel of popcorn is not really a cheat, but today I have to stay on the program. That means I will have to be mindful, and I will have to plan the timing of my meal replacements properly.

    This morning I prepared the first shake later than I usually would, owing to my failed attempt to get my bloodwork done before eating or drinking anything. Yes, the lab is usually open on Saturday, but they are closed today for the Victoria Day long weekend. That means that I will have to go one morning this week before class. I cannot put it off to next Saturday because my next appointment with my doctor is the following Monday morning, and the results will absolutely not be ready in time. All this to say that I had my first shake this morning was at 9:00am, so I can plan for my next one at 12:30pm (before my jog), then at 5:00pm (after my jog), and the last one before 9:00pm. This plan allows for an even distribution of them.

    I should mention that I am sitting here at my desk at 11:15am, and I am feeling a bit hungry. I am not going to give in to my urges, knowing that if I wait until 12:30 then I will have my meal replacement and I will stay on plan. Before that, I am going to bide my time by going out to hunt for a new water bottle and shoulder strap. I still cannot believe that I left mine on the airplane… or at one of the airports… or in the Uber. Grrr. It does not happen to me often, but once in a while I am careless and I forget something behind, especially when I am not focused.

    My plan for today is to do everything in my power to hit a new record low weight tomorrow morning. I know that the scale giveth, and the scale taketh away. Even if it does not happen tomorrow, if I stay on track and do not cheat then there is no reason that I will not be there in the next couple of days. I love that feeling… and I want to start feeling it every day or two for the next few weeks!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 484

    I did it. I got through my first day back on the full-fast program without faltering. The only ‘cheating’ I did was two cups of Royal Milk Tea… not really cheats, although still 65 calories per cup.. I was hoping for a slight drop in weight this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale. I was not expecting the monster drop of 4.6 lbs., which brings me within three pounds of my best weight ever. I know that it will take me a few more days to get there (the first day can be a tremendous drop, followed by less tremendous drops the following days), but I am certainly encouraged to continue doing what I did yesterday.

    Of course, one day does not a pattern make. I have to follow up my success from yesterday by doing just as well today… and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and so on. Fortunately my wonderful wife is holding me accountable. For those who might be wondering, she is not being a nag. I have asked her to support me and to hold me accountable, and to make sure that I am staying true to my plan. This is a very good thing!

    Something that I doubt I will be able to do today that I did yesterday is jog. I am still teaching until 1:15pm, at which point I am going to drive into Scarborough to pick up my meal replacements. That will likely be a three-hour shlep. Assuming I get home by 5:00pm, I might still be able to head out, but it will depend on several factors. One thing that it should not depend on is my making plans to see friends. I am hoping to have a relaxing evening at home, and while the forecast calls for a 30% chance of rain around 9:00pm, I still suspect I will be able to enjoy a cigar on the balcony. After this past week I think I deserve it.

    I did exactly what I was hoping for yesterday. I jogged just over 6km, and then walked the remaining 4.75km to get home. I followed my previous track almost exactly. On my next outing I hope I can increase the jogging to 7km. We’ll see!

    Jogging

    • Distance: 6.1km (5.13km)
    • Duration: 42:32 (35:01)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 6m58s (6m49s)
    • Steps: 6,720 (5,600)
    • Calories burned: 750 (650)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 158 (160)

    I was not breaking any records, but I do not need to… All I need to do is keep getting out there and running. It is the movement that helps me to lose weight, and I am not in a race against anyone for speed or distance; I am only in a race with myself to lose weight and to be the best me that I can be.

    My goal for today is to stay on track and to stay mindful. It would be nice to get that jog in when I get back from Toronto, and then when I have lit the Sabbath candles I would like to sit outside with a cigar and my book. I know Leslie has her son this evening so while she can video-chat after he goes to bed, she will likely not be available before that. I will relax and decompress, and when we can talk I will be much happier.

    Yesterday as I finished my article I realized that it had been a few weeks since I used my previously ubiquitous sign-off. I thought that it might have been either a sign that I was off-track and it was affecting my previously positive mindset, or if that sign-off is just something I do as I am losing weight, and while I was not, I didn’t think to do it. Either way…

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 483

    Today is the first day of the rest of my weight loss journey. A few days ago, I made a promise to myself (and to my wife) that I would, starting today, resume my program with gusto and intent. Over the last few days I have been a little more cavalier with my eating, knowing that this resumption was coming. I did not really eat anything bad, but I was certainly not on my strict or even my true modified program. That all ends today. I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of purpose, with a plan to follow the full-fast program. I took stock of my meal replacements, and if I stick to the program completely then I have 9.5 days’ worth. I will drive into Scarborough tomorrow to pick up another case, which is enough for four more weeks. I have to do it tomorrow because next week I am teaching all day every day, and they are not open on weekends.

    While I have certainly not been true to my program since returning from Dallas, I will consider it at least a minor victory that everything that I have eaten, I have cooked myself. There was one exception to that, which was at the herf I went to last Friday (they had chicken wings, and I ate six of them). I have not eaten at a restaurant even once; I have not ordered food, and I have not even bought any food from the prepared food counters at the supermarket. I have said before that however difficult it may be to eat well at home, it is exponentially more difficult to do when eating out. Do not get me wrong – I still bought mini-crisps and even Goldfish crackers a couple of times… but other than those, almost everything that I have eaten has still been relatively acceptable… on my modified program, if not on my full-fast program.

    I was shocked once again this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale to a major drop in weight. While I am still above the 260 lbs. mark, I am also less than 7.5 lbs. heavier than my best weight ever (from April 14 – Day 450). It is as if my body, despite eating more than usual and even eating late yesterday, wants to encourage me to get back on track and not lose faith that I can do it. I do not know if I would have been demotivated had I gained weight this morning, but the numbers on the scale this morning did give me a spring in my step, and hopefully energized me to make it through the next few days, which are always going to be difficult. After all, going from eating normal food back to only 900-calories of meal replacements in a day is never going to be easy, either physically or emotionally.

    This morning had another surprise for me. During my usual morning ritual I had a very fine bowel movement… nothing new there. A couple of hours later, before I started teaching (as I was writing this journal entry) I took a break, and had another very good BM. Two in a morning is rare, and it felt good. I suspect that as I drop the solid foods for the next few weeks, even the one per day will not be guaranteed. Maybe this was another way for my body to help me to make that break – ridding my body of those solid foods in anticipation of not needing them.

    I am teaching until 1:00pm today, and then again from 5:30 until 9:00pm. My plan is to have a shake directly after my morning class, and then go for a jog. The weather forecast calls for a beautiful afternoon – partly cloudy with temperatures steady around 13°-14°. I will plan a course of about 10km, similar to my distance Sunday. On that outing I jogged 5km and then walked the rest of the way. Today I will try to increase my jogging distance to at least 7km, and more if I am feeling it. I just want to keep improving.

    My goal for the day is to stay mindful. Today is my first day back on the program, and I have to make sure that it stays that way. It is all too easy to eat something, which means that tomorrow would be my first day back on the program. “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.” Quoting MacBeth can be morbid, but she long and the short of it is that I cannot live for tomorrow and hope to do better tomorrow. I have to life today and succeed today. It is too easy to put things off until tomorrow… that is often the best road to mediocrity and failure. I do not want to fail! I want to continue to lose weight and eventually be the lithe slim fellow that I have not seen in the mirror for more than twenty-five years!

    Something else that I need to remember to focus on today is my water intake. I have to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated and to continue to flush the garbage from my system. The simple math is that the more one drinks, the more one loses weight… as long as they are not eating crap.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 480

    I am not yet back on track… but I will be. I had a good chat with my diet buddy in the morning, after which I sent Leslie a message that I never imagined I would send. She asked me several weeks ago at what point should she step in to bug me about my weight loss program if she noticed I was slipping. I told her yesterday that we were there. In the evening we had a frank chat about my plans to get back on track, and we agreed that by Thursday this week if I am not back on the program 100% then she is going to beat me. Of course, that is a figurative statement – there will be no physical violence. She is going to stay on my case and not relent. I am not looking forward to that, but I had been doing so well and I need for this last month and current crisis to be a hiccough on my way to ultimate success, and not the beginning of a slippery slope.

    When Julie (my diet buddy) asked me what I was going to do to get back on track, I told her that my first order of business was to get back to jogging. Almost as soon as she left yesterday I put my running kit on and went for a run. The fact that my Body Battery did not exceed 34/100 yesterday was no matter, and if I was only able to jog 1km and then had to walk the rest of the way then that was what I would do. I honestly believe that my jogging is a huge contributing factor to my weight loss success, not only because of the exercise but also because it motivates me to not cheat on my program. I did not slow down at 1km… in fact, my 5km jog was my fastest yet!

    Jogging

    • Distance: 5.13km (5.10km)
    • Duration: 35:01 (36:01)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 6m49s (7m03s)
    • Steps: 5,600 (5,800)
    • Calories burned: 650 (600)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 160 (159)

    I believe yesterday’s was my first 5km jog where every kilometre was under 7m, and I loved it. Of course, with my Body Battery where it was (I did not look at my fitness watch, but I knew I felt drained) I could not keep it up, and so I decided to pull up at 5km and walk the rest of the circuit. My pace for the walk was also quite good (9m34s per kilometre, 6.5km). By the time I got home, I was truly knackered. I showered and then went to Eduardo’s for a cigar. I ate dinner when I came home, and finally got a pretty good night of sleep (I was in bed by 8:30pm and turned off the lights at 10:00pm). It took me a while to fall asleep, but I finally got just under 8 hours of sleep. I woke up refreshed and ready to hit the day… which will be a busy one indeed.

    This evening is the first class of my cigar sommelier class. I am really excited to be invited and to be taking part in it. The only issue is that I have to track down all of the cigars and bottles of booze that I will need for the twelve-week program. I created a spreadsheet and have some of the cigars I will need (about half of them), and a few of the bottles. Rather than buying all of the bottles, when I can I am borrowing a bottle from a friend. For example, Eduardo has a bottle of the rum that I need for this evening’s class. Rather than spending the $75 to buy it, I borrowed his bottle and will return it a couple of ounces lighter. Of course, that is not going to be possible for all of them, but where I can, I will buy the smallest (or even airplane-size) bottles. For the rest? I always knew that cigar smoking was not an inexpensive hobby, and I will do what I have to. I only wish the timing were a little better – I spent a small fortune on the wedding last month.

    Before the class I have a certification exam that I will sit, followed by lunch. If, following those, I have time for a jog before class then I will do that, but I suspect that will wait until tomorrow, at which point I hope my body will have recovered a little more from the jog.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 471

    Wow was it hot yesterday! My weather app said that it would be in the mid-70s when I was jogging, It was 81° when I walked downstairs, and closer to 86° when I pulled up after just past the 5km point to walk the rest of the way. Still and all, I was happy that I got out, and while I did pause a couple of times, I finished the full 5km and then some.

    Jogging

    · Distance: 5.10km (10.29km)

    · Duration: 36:01 (1:13:33)

    · Average Pace (Min/km): 7m03s (7m08s)

    · Steps: 5,800 (11,768)

    · Calories burned: 600 (1,300)

    · Average cadence (steps per minute): 159 (160)

    While I did not break any records, I got back into the swing of things easy enough. As I predicted, I likely will not jog today or tomorrow, but will resume in Canada on Monday, where the forecast for the week is much cooler than it is for Dallas, while still dry until next Sunday. Of course, that could change in a heartbeat, at which point I will end up on the treadmill.

    My eating yesterday was better than the previous day, but still not perfect. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and one with dinner because I had eaten a couple slices of pizza and was still hungry but did not want to eat more pizza. For lunch I had leftover chicken, which was quite good, and not at all a cheat. The pizza and the cereal did me though, so even with the jogging I gained .2 lb. … a statistical nothing. I did not drink at all yesterday, but I did have a big glass of iced tea in the evening (which is also replete with sugar) that kept me up a couple of hours later than I would have liked. I have to remember that as much as I love caffeinated drinks, drinking them at night when I have been having trouble sleeping is just a bad idea. For today, I had my coffee this morning, and I will try to abstain from caffeine after noon.

    Today is my last full day in Dallas and I am going to spend it with my wife and stepson. I hate knowing that I have to check in for my flight in a few hours, which means that I am leaving her once again. The next trip will see her coming to Canada to visit me for a couple of weeks, and when the countdown clock begins (when I get to the airport tomorrow) it will be set at just over thirty-one days. That is a very long time to spend in the rectangle zone, and neither of us is looking forward to it. I thought about planning a trip in between, but with the cost of the wedding, as well as my hectic teaching schedule the next month, it is just not a reasonable idea. We will endure, but man are these separations difficult for both of us.

    I have a couple of calls to make for work, and then I am going to spend the rest of the day with the family. I will stay mindful, but I will also remember that I do not get to spend nearly as much time with them as I would like. If I fall off because the boy wants ice cream, then that’s what we are going to do. If he wants fried chicken for dinner, then I suppose that is what we will eat. I will just try to keep my portions in check. I know that Monday morning I am going to try to get back onto my full-fast program, but if I cannot then I will at least be on my modified program… and I will be jogging.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 470

    Okay, it was bound to happen, especially how I’ve been eating. My weight jumped a little today, which took me just above the 260 lbs. mark again. I am not at all upset by this. I know that last night, after preparing a lovely roast chicken dinner for the family (with French fries, which are immediately a bad idea), I decided to have a piece of toast with peanut butter. I knew then that the carbs of the bread and the sugar of the peanut butter were a terrible idea, but I did it anyways. I will do better today!

    Speaking of today, I finally slept last night. I do not remember when I fell asleep (nor do I even remember going to bed) but I woke up around 2:00am to use the washroom and realized I had been asleep for a while. According to Garmin, I was asleep by 9:15pm, and got ten full hours of sleep. I feel much better today than I have the last couple of days, and I am ready to go for a light jog. My Body Battery is at 81/100, which means that I am not really at risk of running out of steam. With that said, I have not jogged in the last ten days so I do not expect too much of myself. I will not be trying to win any races.

    This evening is my last class with the group that I have been teaching since the beginning of February. Three nights per week for three months I have spent with this group, and I am so proud of their progress. They still have exams to take, but they are on their way to becoming networking professionals. Next week I will be starting with a new group, but only for a couple of weeks. It is not often that I get to work with a group for this long, and I have loved every minute of it… despite a lot of frustrating moments.

    The end of class means that starting next week my Monday evenings will be free. This works out perfectly because I have been invited to sit a class for cigar professionals that is Monday evenings for the next few months. I am very excited about the class, and only hope that I can keep up… they told me that they will be delivering it simultaneously in Spanish and in English, but I know one of the instructors and his English is almost zero. I do not know how they will do it, but my dues are paid and whether I need to use a translator or not, I am ready to start.

    Despite what the forecast predicted, it is a beautiful day outside. Between now and noon it is going to hit 85°, but for now it is in the mid-70s. The rain is predicted to start around 3:00pm, with the high temperatures forecast to hit 95° by then. That would not be comfortable jogging weather, but right now it is. It is time for me to suit up and hit the road so that I can be back before the worst of it starts. I had a few things I needed to take care of before getting out, but I think most of them are done so I am ready.

    My goal for today is to get back on track, both with jogging and with eating. Let’s see if I can drop below 260 again tomorrow. I know that I will likely not be able to jog tomorrow or Sunday, but if I can have one good day in Dallas before returning to Canada then I will be happy.

    Have a great day folks!