Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • Day 951

    Despite getting out and exercising my tushie off yesterday, I felt like I had failed yesterday because my friend from out of town took me to the pub for dinner. I should have politely declined, but she is not in good health, and she wanted to continue our conversation. It is great spending time with friends, but I hate that sometimes I have to do so at the expense of my success. In any event, I was wrong… my weight this morning dropped 1 lb. From yesterday. Yay! 

    I am teaching all day today, so my plan is to stay the course… which is much easier to do when I am teaching than when I am not. It is not as if I could go out to pick up food, right? Before you say it, I do not think I have even once ordered food in to this apartment since I am living here… which might be three years today if I’m not mistaken! No, lunch will be a meal replacement shake because I don’t have any other option. Yes, I could go out shopping after class… but as of right now I have no intention of doing so. I want to stay on track. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could get my weight down below 280 lbs. in time for Leslie’s visit?  

    I had a follow-uo conversation with a medical office yesterday about a colonoscopy which my doctor assures me I need to have. It does not sound like anything enjoyable. Sigh. The joys of getting older. I suppose it does beat the alternative, right? 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 945

    I was on the phone with an old friend last night discussing life, the universe, and everything when he mentioned something that let on that he reads my daily weight loss blog. I am always surprised to hear that people read it because unlike my other two blogs (which have been dreadfully dormant for months) I do not advertise this journal anywhere. Hey buddy! 

    This morning was another disappointment with regard to the bowels, despite my adding a teaspoon of fibre to one of my meal replacements yesterday. I will double down on that today, adding a teaspoon to two meal replacements. Remembering how much I did not enjoy having diarrhea for nearly two weeks a few months ago, I will do that only one day. I know… that affliction was more likely connected to my stopping the anti-depressants, but I am not taking any chances. 

    Speaking of coming off the meds, today will be the last day I take an anti-inflammatory. I have one pill left, and then tomorrow my pill intake will drop to four pills of three meds per day. I know that I am getting on in age because of that number, but four is better than five. 

    I told Leslie last night that I decided that this morning my weight would finally drop to or below the 290 lbs. mark. Even with two days of clogged bowels I am happy to say that I did just get to that number this morning. Just imagine what I would be at if I were regular!? The way I am feeling this week it is likely I would weigh ten pounds less… but realistically at least half a pound. I am still feeling bloated and my jackets are still tight on me, and I suspect that a good de-clogging might relieve that. 

    It is a lovely day out, and Princess Sophie and I had a nice and easy walk around the park this morning. I do not think I have any errands to run, so after class I will take Her Floofness out again, and then I will relax on the balcony. Tomorrow morning I am planning on driving down to Niagara Falls to run an important errand, so it will be a busier day (with a lot more kilometres than I’ve done in some time. While I am there, I might consider going into New York State for lunch, but more likely I’ll just run my errands and then head back. We’ll see. It should be a lovely day for a drive, and hopefully I’ll be able to drive with the sunroof open and a cigar between my lips. We’ll see. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 943

    I was saying to myself (and possibly to Leslie) last night that sometime in the next few days my weight will finally drop below 290 lbs. Today was not that day, even though it did drop a little from yesterday.  

    My alarm either did not go off or it did but it did not wake me up, and so I was rushing in the morning. I suspect that had I had the time to sit and relax, then I might have been able to successfully move my bowels, thus my weight might have dropped more than the 0.6 lbs. That it did. As it stands, I hope that I will be successful either later today, or else tomorrow morning.  

    I took Princess Sophie out for our walk later than I usually do, and she seemed happy to stay in bed for the extra hour. I would have been too, had I not had work to get to. With that said, my sleep score and body battery both benefited from the extra hour. 

    While I am deliberately not focusing on a comparison to it, my weight yesterday morning dropped below what it was on May 22, when I last tried to restart my weight loss. I remember being disgusted with myself then for having gained 53.2 lbs. Since my best weight; imagine how I felt a little over a week ago when three months on that number had risen to 62.8 lbs.? I have a lot of reasons for having gotten back on track, but first and foremost of those is how terrible I felt about myself. This morning I am 51.8 lbs. From that best weight ever, and I know that I need to continue to work toward it. I still have that goal set for myself to shave my goattee when my weight drops to 240 lbs., and I intend to reach it. I do not know how long it will take… but I will get there. 

    In the meantime, I have other short-term goals to strive for. This morning, I tried to wear a shirt that was a bit tight, and two of my sport coats as well. I want to be able to comfortably wear any outfit in my closet without discomfort… or worry that something might rip. 

    It is another beautiful day in southwest Ontario, and I am stuck inside teaching. No matter, I might take my lunch on the balcony with a meal replacement and a cigar. I know that is what I will be doing after I am finished for the day… and once Her Floofness has been out for her walk. I hope to get through the day without cheating, and if I can do that for a couple more days then I know that before long my weight will drop below 290 lbs… and then hopefully to 285. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 941

    I consumed more than I should have yesterday, but I also exercised. I completed a 10km walk outside, and while my pace is not what it was when I was at it every day, it was also not as bad as it once was. Only four of the ten kilometres was under 10m00s, but only one of them (the last kilometre when I was cooling down) was over 10m15s. I did stop off a couple of times (once to take a phone call, once to go into the store to buy a bottle of water which I had forgotten to bring, and once to say hello to a dog and to share some water with him), but other than that I kept going. I am proud of myself for getting back to it.

    It was my initial plan after writing this entry to head out to try to repeat the feat – or at least to just get out and take a good walk – but I realized I am having network issues at home. I ended up spending the last hour working on my Wi-Fi setup because it is bad enough when I have issues on the weekend, but if I should have lag or downtime during the week when I am supposed to be teaching… well, that is just not an acceptable situation.

    After paying my overdue bill (my Internet provider has this ridiculous policy that sometimes they do not send you the bill, but it is your responsibility to pay that bill anyways) I was able to speak with technical support, who assured me that there was nothing wrong with my modem/router. I told her there was, and that my knowledge of my experience with the quantifiable metrics supersedes the checkbox on her dashboard that says it is working properly. She told me that they would have to schedule a service call, but when I asked if I could just bring the modem to their store, she confirmed they would replace it for me. Phew.

    Okay, so despite everything else that I was hoping to do today, this takes precedence. I will head out now, and hopefully I will be able to get back with enough time to head out for a walk before the rain starts.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 937

    I was weak last evening. I felt weak, and I gave in to a little temptation. I did not go overboard, but I did break from the program; I made myself a small (2-egg) omelette, and then I ate a protein bar (which is equivalent to drinking an extra meal replacement). I told my wife about the omelette but I think that by the time we spoke, I had forgotten about the protein bar. It was not meant to be dishonest. In any event, I was worried that I would gain weight from these. Fortunately, I did not. Indeed, my weight dropped again this morning. According to the bathroom scale, I dropped another 1.2 lbs., which brings me below the 295 mark for the first time since July 30. I have to keep going though… two days of progress does not a success make. 

    I told Leslie last night that my next goal is to drop to 280 lbs. By the time she visits. That means I have to stay true to the program for the next 3.5 weeks. It means that I am going to have to decline a number of social invitations over the weekend which will be sad, but necessary. I want to get back on track, and the last few weeks have proven to me that I cannot do that if I am going to make an exception for every occasion. 

    We also discussed my failure to maintain a reasonable weight. I have not even been able to type into this journal that horrible number that my weight exceeded four times over the past few weeks. I must be strong and get back on track, which means getting my weight as far below that number as I can. I know that she will love me whatever my weight, but it is not so easy to love myself when I am that morbidly obese. Without going into detail, there was a marked improvement to certain parts of our relationship as I dropped the weight… and if for no other reason than that, then being back above that number is somewhere I never want to be again! Of course, there are also all of the nice clothes that I have that I want to be able to continue to wear more comfortably, and those that I have that do not currently fit at all. Two of my suits fit and two of my sports jackets fit (but tightly), and the rest do not. As for shirts… I know that some of them are tight, and others are not wearable. I will get back into all of them… and soon. 

    It is a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, but I will be teaching until nearly 5:00pm. No problem… once I am off I will shed my jacket and tie, and I will put on a pair of shorts and a golf shirt. After I have my second meal replacement of the day I will go shopping for coffee and eggs and the vegetables I need for my omelettes, and then I will take Princess Sophie for a nice walk. I will follow that up with a cigar on the balcony. Leslie’s son is coming home to her this afternoon, so I do not know if we will be able to have a video date. If we can, then yay! If not, then I will read. 

    Yesterday after class I took Her Floofness for her walk, and then I took a nap. That allowed me to have a cigar date with my wife in the evening. Monday evening, I was so tired that I could not, and I thought I might be sick until Leslie reminded me that my body was rebelling against the severely reduced caloric intake. I am hoping that either today or tomorrow my body will be in ketosis and that will be behind me. If not, then I will take more naps. I will not sabotage my progress by eating (as I did yesterday). At least when I ate yesterday, was not carbs or starches, so I did mostly stay with the program. Hopefully today I can do better. 

    Can I get down under 290 lbs. By the weekend? That would be great. I will not veer from my program which would sabotage myself. Let’s see if I can do it. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 936

    I am not going to lie and say that yesterday was easy… but it was worth it. I found myself without energy much earlier than I normally would. Of course I got through my class without any issues, but by the time I signed off I was quite hungry for that second meal replacement. I then sat on the balcony with a cigar and relaxed. Around 8:30pm I took Her Floofness out for a walk, again realizing that I was quite hungry. We got home around 9:15pm and I immediately prepared my final meal replacement of the day. My plan was to finish that, and then pick another cigar and sit out on the balcony and wait for Leslie to come home from her evening activity and join me on a video call. Realizing how tired I was, I decided instead to get ready for bed. Leslie and I did have our video date, but it was not a cigar on the balcony date. 

    It was hard to get through yesterday, but when I got onto the bathroom scale this morning I was glad the effort had paid off. My weight dropped a full three pounds, bringing me back down to 295 lbs. Even. It is the first time this month that I have dropped to that number. Now I want to try to keep the streak going and lose more weight every day this week. 

    I hate the fact that so many of my clothes do not fit, and I hate the fact that I have to plan my daily wardrobe based on what will and what will not. My first major goal is to get back down to 265 lbs. Which is what I weighed the last time my tailor was in town. I do not know if I will be going back to him when he is here at the end of September, but whether or not I do, I still want to make sure that my clothes from my last fitting fit and fit well. 

    My next major goal after that remains to get my weight back to 240 lbs., which is when I will shave my beard for Leslie. It also means that I will be back to within a couple of pounds of my best weight ever. 

    In the meantime, I am renewing my minor goals of the five- and ten-pound milestones and am going to resume tracking my progress on the chart on my fridge door. I hate the fact that nearly three months later, I weigh more today than I did when I first drew up that chart (on May 22). I am a few days away from getting back down to that weight (291.8 lbs.) and will use the same chart to track it. My goal is to get myself back in shape. It was only ten months ago that I was at my best weight of this millenium and I want to get back to that… And I do not want to take ten months to do it. I am hoping that before the spring of 2025 I will be able to shave my beard at 240 lbs. 

    I should mention that my knee is not yet completely healed, but it is feeling better than it was. I hope that by the weekend I can get out for a nice long walk without aggravating it any further. I am still taking the anti-inflammatory meds, but I am down to a single pill, three times per day. I expect that by the end of the week I will not need them at all.

    Okay, I’m going to go back to my class now… we are on a break, but I also want to check my email. 

    Have a great day folks! 

  • Day 902

    It was all that I could do to not cry as I dropped Leslie off at the airport this morning. We got up as usual, so after my morning rituals I took Her Royal Floofness out for a very short walk… as I suspected it would be as soon as I realized that it was or had been raining. Let me be perfectly clear, I would have taken her on her usual 1.5km circuit of the park; my dog just does not like the wet. Anyhow, we came back into the apartment and Leslie was finishing up her packing. I made a half pot of coffee, knowing that we would be having breakfast out, but that after breakfast I would be in the car for 90 minutes to and from the airport.

    I was pleasantly surprised to discover that even after yesterday’s sushi meal (followed by a decadent piece of chocolate cake) my weight was still down a bit this morning. That means that even with the jump in weight from my birthday celebration, my weight is still lower than it was on any day since Leslie arrived… and since June 30. Yay!

    Our final morning together of this trip was mostly subdued. We were both sad that she has to fly back to Dallas today, so we were not happy and joyous. We are going to miss each other terribly… and I am going to have to find a way to plan a trip down to Dallas sometime next month.

    I was hoping that my buddy Mitchell would come over in the afternoon for a cigar and to discuss some of my emotional issues, but he had to cancel. Okay, I’ll just make it through the day. After lunch I have a meeting about a project I am working on, and then after that I would like to record a video for my class’s graduation which is two weeks from today. That means that I will be dressing up fancy… but I do not want to wear the same outfit for the video as I will for the class. I’ll have to make a wardrobe change in between.

    Other than that, I have some studying to do for an exam I am sitting this weekend, and I hope to be able to read a little from my book. Yes, it is that time of year again, when my favourite living fiction author releases his new novel. I downloaded it onto my eBook reader on Wednesday, and while Leslie worked yesterday afternoon, I read the first few chapters. That will accompany my cigar after my meeting today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 860

    Weight:

    278.0 lbs. (Down 13.8 lbs. in the week. Still up 39.4 lbs. from Best Weight Ever)

    Re-hit this weight: 4/7/2024. Had dropped below this weight: 7/16/2023.

    I do not mean to sound ungrateful that I have dropped nearly fourteen pounds in my first week on the program because I am not. On the contrary, I am extremely pleased with myself for it. I am still disappointed with myself for having lost all of that progress that I had made in my previous efforts over seven months. I will keep reminding myself every week of how long it took me to go from losing weight to gaining weight. I essentially threw away eight months of weight loss efforts with eight months of letting myself go. I will keep watching that parabola of the up to down to up… until I am once again at and beyond my best weight ever.

    Yesterday was a mostly successful day in so many respects. Two brother freemasons came over to visit and smoke cigars (one in the morning, the other in the afternoon). One of them is a mental health advocate, and while we had planned his visit a week ago, it was fortuitous timing as another brother had a mental breakdown yesterday and he was able to intervene. We discussed it, and we discussed several other mental health issues. The other one is my mentor, and we usually get together weekly to work on masonic work. He met yesterday with the doctor that I originally did the weight loss program with at the bariatric clinic because he starts the program today! While we did do some masonic practice, most of the visit I was able to advise him and to answer questions for him… many of which he probably did not realize he had. I shared this journal with him so whether it is today or in 900 days be may one day read these words. I hope that when he does, he has succeeded in finding and achieving his weight loss goals!

    Speaking of weight loss goals (and non-scale victories, I thought of another one:

    Since March of 2022 I have been going twice per year to my Hong Kong tailor to buy custom shirts and sports jackets and whatever. They are usually in town in September and February/March. When I saw them on February 29th of this year the tailor told me that this was the first time that he had seen me in a few years that I have actually gained weight. I told him that it was an anomaly, and that I would be getting back on track. He asked if I was sure, or if he wanted them to cut the clothes a little larger. I insisted that I did not want that, and that I would be losing weight again. On that day I weighed 265.8 lbs., and I was hoping that my slide would be over. When I received the shipment from them just five weeks later, the jacket was tight… and I was only able to wear it a couple of times before I had to put it in my closet… hoping that I would be able to get back into it at some point.

    From my visit to them at the end of September (9/27/23) to that visit at the end of February (2/29/24) I had gained just under 20 lbs.; before my weight slide would end, I would gain another 26.

    With that, the next goal is to:

    1. Fit comfortably into the shirts and sports jacket that arrived in April (I am currently 13 lbs. from weighing what I weighed at the fitting in February)
    2. Fit comfortably into the shirts and sports jacket that I received in November (I am 33 lbs. from weighing what I weighed at my fitting in September)
    3. When I go back to be fitted in September, I want to once again be at my best weight ever.

    The first two of these points are doable but they do not have a time limit. The last one? Can I lose forty pounds in four months? That should be achievable, but I have to stay focused on it.

    My workout yesterday was great, and I did it a lot smarter than I had the previous day. My friend left at 12:30pm, and I prepared my second meal replacement. After I drank it, I got changed and I hit the treadmill. I jogged 4km at a pace of 4.2mph, and then walked one more kilometre at a pace of 3.5mph. I felt good when I was done and hit the shower knowing that my second friend would be arriving shortly. I went down to my car to have a small handful of almonds because I was feeling hungry at that point, and I was still two hours from my next meal replacement. I would end up finishing one of the two portions of almonds (in three installments) throughout the afternoon and evening, but I think I did it smartly.

    Okay, it is time for me to get this day going, I will sit on the patio with my wife (on the phone) for an hour, then I’ll hit the treadmill. The afternoon? Yeah, I’ll be working. Fun.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 858

    I had a feeling yesterday that I couldn’t shake that I would not be losing weight this morning. I had four great days of weight loss, and my body was going to steady or correct its trajectory and slow things down. This despite knowing that I had jogged 5km and had not veered from the weight loss program. Leslie reminded me that whether or not I lose weight on one given day should not be taken as an omen, but also that I might lose weight, but not as much as I had the previous four days. She was right of course… on both parts. I dropped a little over a pound this morning. I am going to keep doing what I am doing… even on days when I do not like what the bathroom scale tells me.

    Something else that I admitted to Leslie yesterday is that I am angry with myself for having thrown away so much of my weight loss progress over these last seven months. I was doing so well, and then I pissed it away (or rather ate it away). When I felt that my weight was safely below 250 lbs. I vowed that I would never let it go above that number again. I dropped below 250 ‘for the final time’ on September 17, and was going to keep at it… and yet it happened: on November 24 my weight peeked above that ugly number, and then ten days later it would jump above it and stay there… and there it is today. It only took 15 days to jump above 260 (which I had dropped below on August 21, vowing never again…) and yes, I was going through a rough spot… but suck it up Mitch! Don’t eat your feelings! It would take nearly three months for my weight to peek above 270 (March 4 for the first time, and then permanently on March 10). I had dropped ‘forever’ below that number on July 13, after a long diet break. I had not weight more than 280 since February 18 (first hit March 21), and my last weigh-in over 290 lbs. was January 31, 2023 (where I spent two days May 21-22).

    It took me 68 days to drop from 250 lbs. to 238.6 (Oct. 18 – 31 days), and then back up to 250 (Nov. 24 – 37 days). It took me 119 days to drop from 260 to that best weight, and then back up to 260 (December 19). It took 223 days to drop from 270 to by best weight and then gain it all back. The numbers for 280 lbs is a staggering 382 days… and for 290 lbs. it is 417. It took me 201 days to drop from 290 lbs. to my best weight ever… it took me 216 days to gain it back.

    What a fucking waste of energy.

    Leslie reminded me that we cannot change the past, we can only focus on now and the future. While this is true, I hope that tracking the past and studying it may help me to not repeat it.

    I am essentially starting the program anew with a fresh head, so it should not take me 200+ days to drop 42 lbs. … but just knowing that I wasted so much of it – I essentially threw away a year – upsets me. Getting back on track is hugely important, and I will do it. As of this morning’s reading on the bathroom scale, I am 41.6 lbs. from my best weight ever.

    Assuming there is no way that I will continue to lose over a pound per day, I would be happy if by the time Leslie arrives (in 38 days) I could lose another 15-20 lbs. I had originally told her than my goal was to drop to 270 by then, but I am amending that because I know that for that week I will not be on the program. If I could stay below 270 (or even 265) by the time she leaves the next week then I would consider that a huge success, and I will at that point get back onto the program.

    How long will it take for me to get back to my best weight ever? In other words: from today, how long will it take for me to lose 42 lbs.? I don’t know… but I would like to set a goal for the end of the September. That gives me 126 days to lose 40 pounds, or a little under 2.5 lbs. per week. It is an ambitious goal, but hopefully an achievable one.

    For the short term, I would really like for my pants to fit better… and for my sports jackets to start fitting again. I would like to be able to comfortably wear my guayaberas this summer, which I was able to do when I was last in Cuba (I have another 5 lbs. to lose until I weigh what I weighed on my last trip, but I am still 16 lbs. bigger than I was the previous month). I need patience.

    While my weight did drop again today, it is the first day since I started that I could not cross off a goal on my fridge tracker. To quote Maxwell Smart: Missed it by that much. Hopefully I’ll be there tomorrow.

    I should mention that I did two things worth mentioning yesterday: I did indeed jog my 5km (although I did not walk the rest of the hour, so my workout ended up as 5.23km in 49m51s). I also got through the day sans almonds, which means that I was probably at 940 calories on the day. I’ll call those both huge successes, as I had not previously been able to hit the 5km mark, and it was only the second day that I was able to get through the program without the added help.

    It is a wet and rainy morning in Burlington, and I am glad for the treadmill. I think I’m going to publish this entry and then change into my kit. Owing to the weather, Princess Sophie did not want to go for her usual 1.5-2km walk this morning, and so I am still under 1000 steps. My next jogging goal is 6km, followed closely by jogging for a full hour. Will I make it? We’ll see… but as I have said before, I may be tracking my workouts, but I am not competing with myself. My goal is to get into shape, and not to hurt myself.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 851

    I have missed a couple of days blogging, and have not been too happy with myself. My weight yesterday morning was 289.2 lbs., a very short step to that dreaded 290 lbs. mark which I have been trying to stay away from. This morning I actually hit that mark for a minute… which is to say that after returning from my walk with Her Floofness I was preparing breakfast and felt the need to move my bowels, which is something I have not been very successful at these last few days. I finally had a good poop, and because I had not eaten yet I decided to reweigh myself. My weigh-in at 8:45am this morning had me significantly down from that, and from yesterday’s weight. Phew!

    Leslie and I decided a few days ago that when her son goes back to his father’s house for a few weeks that we will do the extreme program together for that time, and it begins on Wednesday. I have enough eggs for tomorrow morning’s breakfast, and I will shop today for tomorrow only. I miscalculated on my shopping only because I realized only this morning that today is a holiday and that the grocery stores are closed. The only food I have in the house is a couple of meatless burgers, so that will be my lunch with a salad. I will go out for dinner, but I will eat carefully. While it could be considered a ‘last splurge’ meal, I am not going to go nuts with it. Maybe I will pick up a shawarma plate or something. I will figure that out later today… but not too late, as I am teaching this evening and do not want to have my meal after 9:00pm.

    The past few days have been interesting. I wrote on Friday that my son the elder came over for a dram and a cigar, which was exciting as I had not seen or heard from him since October 11. We had a nice chat, and I invited him to come with me to the suits and tuxedo sale that my lodge was holding Saturday morning. He met me here at 7:30am and we drove down to Grimsby, where we both picked out a tuxedo. He was disappointed that they did not have a better selection of regular suits, but was nevertheless pleased with his new formal wear… as was I. We pulled into my parking lot shortly after 9:00am, and he was able to get to work on time for his shift… which had been my major concern.

    In the early afternoon on Saturday I tried on all of my new duds, and was extremely upset that the pants that I had selected did not fit. I ended up going back in the afternoon, at which point I not only got a pair that did fit, but also got a tails, and at the urging of a couple of the brothers I also picked out a couple more vests, cummerbunds, and bow ties.Now if I can only lose the weight to fit back into the smaller pants then I will be happy with myself.

    Following that, I went to a cigar and barbecue event at a friend’s house down that way. This particular friend hosts events on a regular basis and has been inviting me down for seven years, but this was my first time attending. It was a lot of fun, but I could not eat any of the barbecue because it was all pork products. I did snack, which I should not have. After one cigar I went home and prepared a proper meal for myself.

    Sunday was a strange day. I had very little energy, and although I had planned on going shopping for groceries, I kept putting it off. Around 5:00pm, after eating an early dinner, I lay down for a nap. I had a weird series of dreams that mostly involved my tossing and turning in bed trying unsuccessfully to nap, trying to get to a class that I was teaching and did not want to be late for, and dropping off my dry cleaning while alternately being hindered from doing so by the casts of Seinfeld and Friends… not the actors mind you, the actual characters who were doing their best to make sitcom bits of the dry cleaning experience. I found none of it funny, and when I woke up I was not at all rested, and it was too late to go to the supermarket. I was concerned by three things: one, I was as unrested after a long nap as I had been before the nap (you try dreaming about not sleeping well); two, would the supermarkets be open on Monday  which would be Victoria Day (Spoiler alert: They are not); and three, after having had a full meal at 4:30pm, would I need to eat again. I did take a couple of yoghurts, but nothing more.

    Something else that I was concerned about, although not necessarily just then, was that I had not posted either Saturday or Sunday. If I am going to get back to my best weight ever (I am fifty pounds up!) then I have to be on track. My journal is one of the ways that I keep myself accountable to that, even though it has not helped me these last seven months. Getting back on track is extremely important to me, and I am going to do it. Having Leslie doing it with me will make it a bit easier… it is an extremely difficult program, but doing it alone makes it even harder. She and I discussed it this morning and agreed that having each other to keep us company should make it a little easier. I am nervous… but I am going to succeed. I have to. I want to look good in my tuxedo, after all!

    I have a little more energy today than I did yesterday… but not much more. I have work to do so it cannot be the same sort of lazy Sunday as I had yesterday; even though today is a holiday in Canada, I still do most of my work for American companies, and so they have expectations that do not revolve around Queen Victoria’s birthday. Next Monday is Memorial Day in the US, although I still do not know if I am teaching that night or not. I sent an email just now asking for confirmation, although I have to assume that I am. I will also work during the day, as I am now on a writing project that will require no interaction with anyone else.

    I have changed my mind. After I finish writing this entry I am going to run out to pick up food. I am going to check in on the other supermarket to see if they are open, although I dout that they will be. I will pick up my restaurant meal for lunch, and will have the veggie burgers and a salad for dinner. It makes more sense to eat the heavier meal earlier in the day. After lunch I will probably rearrange my office because I am working on a project that will require me to be recorded for the end result, and we (the recording team and I) agreed that having my very busy apartment as a backdrop might work for live classes, but would not work for a proper and professional recording. I will take Princess Sophie to the neighbour’s so that she is not here while I am moving furniture around.

    Have a great day folks!