Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • Day 617

    I was mostly good yesterday… until I was not. It is amazing though how our perspectives can change with our circumstances… and with who we are in general. As an example, allow me to list everything I ate yesterday. I will then write what I felt yesterday, and then will try to get into my head from two years ago and see how I might have felt:

    • · Morning meal: omelette with a teaspoon of olive oil in the pan, onion, broccoli, mushroom, and cheese.
    • Late morning snack: Tamari almonds (1/3 cup)
    • Mid-afternoon meal: omelette (identical to morning meal but with one extra egg)
    • Late afternoon snack: a bag of salt and vinegar mini crisps.

    How I felt last night: I felt like such a failure with all of this. I did not stick to my regimen. I was 100% certain that my weight would be up the next morning, and the best that I could hope for was that, owing to my exercise, it might stay the same… but I doubted it.

    How I might have felt two years ago: I am happy that I ate so little. Normally I would be eating three large meals per day, with a couple of snacks mixed in for the fun of it. I have little doubt that eating like this I should likely see a slight drop in my weight the next morning, but if my body wanted to mess with me then it might stay the same.

    Do you see the difference? I certainly do! There is both good and bad to this difference. The good is that I am certainly eating less, more easily sated, and more aware of what I am eating. The bad is that I was down on myself for overeating… even though I did not. I have to take care that I am not exchanging one eating disorder (overeating) for another (would it be considered anorexia? Probably not… but it is something). While I am not prepared to resume therapy for this just yet, it is certainly something that I should at least be aware of.

    In fact I was wrong about the bathroom scale this morning. I did not gain weight or even stay the same, but actually dropped .4 lb.; I am now back to the same weight that I was the day before I flew to California. If I stay on track for another couple of days then it is entirely possible – nay, likely – that I will be in best-weight-ever land by the beginning of next week.

    I do not write a lot about sexual function or activity in these pages for many reasons; it is not something I ever really had a problem with (even at my heaviest). The only real issue I had was that I did not have the stamina that I would have liked. As a happily married man who has referred often to my wife, I will not change that for reasons of decency and discretion. Suffice it to say that we have always enjoyed our healthy intimate moments, but that over the course of having lost thus far approximately 150 pounds, that portion of our life has steadily improved, owing mostly to the increased stamina that has come with the combination of weight loss and (mostly) consistent exercise.

    With that said: It is important in discussing significant weight loss and body transformation to take note of the changes and improvements of all aspects of my life that are direct results of same. I started this journey as a 49-year-old man, and over the course of these 617 days I have celebrated two birthdays. As a 51-year-old man I could lose all the weight in the world and yet will never be what I was when I was last a normal weight. With that said, there are some changes I have noticed of late that are significant.

    As one example, I cannot remember these last few decades waking up in the morning with a solid erection. Over these last few weeks that has changed. It is not every day, but it has happened a few times. I did not think much of it the last few times, but this morning I noticed it and remembered it happening a few times this past month.

    Another example was noticed by both of us a few weeks ago when Leslie was here. At the end of a night of passion, my erection did not subside immediately (as has almost always been the case) after ejaculation. In fact, several minutes after same I went into the washroom, and it was still quite solid (to the point where I was unable to urinate). Despite that inconvenience it felt good to know that my with regard to sexual performance, ability, and stamina my body is showing real improvements with the weight loss and body transformation. These bode well for my future. These improvements give me yet another reason to continue to lose the weight… and to never let myself go again!

    I had a lovely cigar date with my wife this morning and I did take care of some business, but it is time for me to get moving. I have a lot of studying to do before my class this evening, but before I dive into that I am going to go for my walk. I would love to try to get fifteen kilometres in today! On yesterday’s outing I jogged the first kilometre in 6m21s before pulling up and walking the remainder of the 12.5km course. My plan for today is to try to increase that to 2-3km jogging. We’ll see. I was going to wait until I was home before preparing my first meal replacement, but realizing it is now 12:55pm I am actually going to do that before I go out. It is never a good idea for me to let myself get hungry… as we see far too often, that nevber seems to work out well for me.

    Once I am done, I will come home to shower and then will sit on the balcony with my studying and a cigar. I will be ready for my evening class on time and look forward to finishing my current class with this group so that I can begin the next one (with the same group) on Monday. After class I am probably going to a friend’s house because he invited a group of us to enjoy a cigar by the fire pit. It should be a lovely time and knowing that I am arriving late I will miss the food that he usually puts out (and which is never diet-friendly).

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 616

    I continue to make progress. This morning I am 1.4 lbs. heavier than I was the morning that I left for California which means that I am within easy reach of surpassing that and stepping back into the waters of Best Weight Ever Lake. Within a few days or so I should be there again!

    I was mostly good yesterday but this morning after my dentist appointment I stopped at Bulk Barn and picked up some almonds. I have to stop doing that. While I do have a lot of work to do today, I am also planning to go out for a long jog/walk. I think I will do that when I finish writing today’s journal entry.

    This evening I have a meeting with my weight loss buddy. We did not check in last week because I was on vacation but hopefully we will be back on schedule now. I look forward to hearing how well she is doing. I was so excited last Wednesday to tell her that I had dropped below 245 lbs., and frankly after this past week I am not terribly upset to be back above that milestone; I am comforted by the fact that I am less than a whole pound above it after the week I had. Okay, I am 1.4 lbs. above my best weight ever, and on my way back down after a week of indulgences. How am I getting back on track? Eating properly (today’s almonds notwithstanding) and a whole lot of walking and jogging. That is what I need to do in order to continue to lose weight.

    It’s a lovely day out there and I am going to make the most of it. I do have a few errands I need to run but nothing too stressful. I will go out for two hours, and then when I come back I will make my phone calls and do my studying.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 615

    Mission accomplished. In the lead-up to my weeklong trip to California I stated at different times that I was hoping to return to Canada having gained less than five pounds, and that I was hoping that my first weigh-in after returning to Canada I would still weigh under 250 pounds. This morning, after a long day of travel followed by a very bad night of tossing and turning in bed, I stepped onto the bathroom scale and weighed 246.4 lbs., a scant two pounds heavier than my last weigh-in the morning I left! (It is also worth noting that I had always said weigh-in did not really count, as it was done at 3:20am; in fact I am only one pound heavier than I was the previous day)

    I did not sleep well at all last night. If I did not have such a busy morning, I would likely have gone right back to bed following my morning rituals and then Her Royal Floofness’ walk. That is not possible as I have a 9:00am appointment with my doctor, followed by an 11:00am appointment with my tailor. Between those two I will return home to prepare my breakfast (the only meal I will have today as I return to my weight loss program). After the second appointment I will likely come home and try to sleep for a couple of hours. I will be teaching from 6-9pm this evening and I do not want to fall asleep in class.

    I will be back in a little under two hours (although for you the reader it will seem much quicker!) to report my official doctor’s weigh-in. I am 6.2 lbs. down on my bathroom scale from the morning of my last weigh-in; hopefully the scale at the doctor’s office will reflect a similar drop!

    —

    I am not in the least disappointed to have only dropped 3.1 kg since my last weigh-in at the doctor’s office. Had I not taken the break from my regimen during the last week it likely would have been closer to 5kg, but I have no regrets. I said in advance that I would not, and I am not going back on my word. Two of the nurses told me how fabulous I look!

    I came home for a quick breakfast before heading into Hamilton to meet my clothier. I picked out four shirts and one sports jacket, and when he asked me if I my measurements would be the same as they were in March, I was very happy to say that they were not. I am a full four inches smaller around the chest and around my waist… from March! That feels amazing. I would love to be able to see another similar drop over the next six months… if not even more.

    I decided to spend a couple of hours chatting with my buddy on his patio before coming home. My intention was to come home and take a two-hour nap. What I ended up doing was going out for a (nearly) two-hour walk… and seven of the 11.25kms were under 9 min/km! My average pace was an amazing 8m47s per kilometre, making this the second outing that I can claim that in the last few. It felt great… even though I probably should have been resting. Yes, I started my class a few minutes ago (we started with a lab activity) and I am tired… but I am not sleepy. I know I will get a good night sleep tonight, but today was essentially a ‘recover from travel, a week of vacation… and all the bad habits I tried to not fall fully back into’ day.

    Will my weight on the bathroom scale tomorrow morning be back in the best weight ever territory? I do not know. What I am pretty sure of is that the next time I go to see the doctor I want to weigh under 110kg. I have to remember to call to make an appointment though, which I forgot to do when I was leaving. I will call tomorrow before I head to my dentist appointment.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 608

    Aside from the debacle with the car rental agency, yesterday was a good day in all respects save one. I did not stick to my program. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version: I had my breakfast at the airport (never a good start, although I did not do too badly). On the plane I had a couple of the mini protein bars that are on offer. At the airport in Dallas I tried to buy a sandwich but failed, owing to the abject stupidity of the young lady behind the counter, and knowing that if I had not walked away I would have offended her. I planned to buy the fruit and cheese plate on the second aircraft, but it turns out they do not sell food on shorter flights. It should be noted here that their in-seat guide claims that to be under 1,100 miles, while this flight was 1,235 miles. That changes not the fact that there was no fruit and cheese platter to be had on this flight. In place of same I opted for another of the mini-protein bars. I arrived at my destination hungry, and the 90 minutes I spent fighting with Avis Rent-A-Car (who for this trip can be referred to as the ‘We have your money because you pre-paid so go fuck yourself, Inc.’) did not help. When I pulled into Robert and Cecelia’s driveway at 2:15pm I was hungry, and when they offered me a sandwich I accepted. In the evening I met my buddy David at The Stonehaus and we decided to share a pizza. We then met other friends, and before he dropped me back at the hotel we stopped at CVS and I bought late-night snacks.

    If everything else I did yesterday can be excused, the late-night snacks was a boneheaded decision on my part. I should never have done that, but it is done.

    Result: This morning my weight crept back above 245 lbs. this morning. There can be no doubt as to why, nor that I deserved it.

    I woke up this morning and went for breakfast. I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese (not a smart move, but it was also not the worst I could have done), and three cups of coffee. As I sat there watching my movie it occurred to me that just two years ago I would come to this same restaurant and order two breakfasts… and not the reasonable bagel with lox and cream cheese. This is a huge improvement to be sure.

    I returned to the hotel and changed into my exercise kit. I went out for a 12.5km walk around my old neighbourhood as well as around the lake. It felt good, and it felt great to see that my average per-kilometre pace throughout was under 9:00/km. On my last few walks I have been happy to see a couple of split kilometres under that pace, but for the entire duration? It has never been close.

    I came back from my walk and showered, and before heading out to see my friend at the Stonehaus I made a meal replacement for myself. I would rather go there on a reasonably full stomach than be tempted by… well, there are myriad temptations there.

    At 3:00pm I teach and then I will drive south toward LAX. Leslie will be here in nine hours!!!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 608

    Aside from the debacle with the car rental agency, yesterday was a good day in all respects save one. I did not stick to my program. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version: I had my breakfast at the airport (never a good start, although I did not do too badly). On the plane I had a couple of the mini protein bars that are on offer. At the airport in Dallas I tried to buy a sandwich but failed, owing to the abject stupidity of the young lady behind the counter, and knowing that if I had not walked away I would have offended her. I planned to buy the fruit and cheese plate on the second aircraft, but it turns out they do not sell food on shorter flights. It should be noted here that their in-seat guide claims that to be under 1,100 miles, while this flight was 1,235 miles. That changes not the fact that there was no fruit and cheese platter to be had on this flight. In place of same I opted for another of the mini-protein bars. I arrived at my destination hungry, and the 90 minutes I spent fighting with Avis Rent-A-Car (who for this trip can be referred to as the ‘We have your money because you pre-paid so go fuck yourself, Inc.’) did not help. When I pulled into Robert and Cecelia’s driveway at 2:15pm I was hungry, and when they offered me a sandwich I accepted. In the evening I met my buddy David at The Stonehaus and we decided to share a pizza. We then met other friends, and before he dropped me back at the hotel we stopped at CVS and I bought late-night snacks.

    If everything else I did yesterday can be excused, the late-night snacks was a boneheaded decision on my part. I should never have done that, but it is done.

    Result: This morning my weight crept back above 245 lbs. this morning. There can be no doubt as to why, nor that I deserved it.

    I woke up this morning and went for breakfast. I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese (not a smart move, but it was also not the worst I could have done), and three cups of coffee. As I sat there watching my movie it occurred to me that just two years ago I would come to this same restaurant and order two breakfasts… and not the reasonable bagel with lox and cream cheese. This is a huge improvement to be sure.

    I returned to the hotel and changed into my exercise kit. I went out for a 12.5km walk around my old neighbourhood as well as around the lake. It felt good, and it felt great to see that my average per-kilometre pace throughout was under 9:00/km. On my last few walks I have been happy to see a couple of split kilometres under that pace, but for the entire duration? It has never been close.

    I came back from my walk and showered, and before heading out to see my friend at the Stonehaus I made a meal replacement for myself. I would rather go there on a reasonably full stomach than be tempted by… well, there are myriad temptations there.

    At 3:00pm I teach and then I will drive south toward LAX. Leslie will be here in nine hours!!!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 607

    I cannot decide if it means anything or not. After all, I know that when I weigh myself at 3:15am the readout will be completely different from when I weigh myself when I normally wake up. I was absolutely not planning to even step onto the bathroom scale this morning… I packed my suitcase last night and the scale was in it. As fate would have it I packed all of my golf shirts, so I needed to take one out to wear today. I opened it up and decided to see what the dreaded machine would say… even though I was sure to be disappointed.

    244.4 lbs.

    Two hundred and forty-four pounds.

    I did not see any chance that it would happen after the crap I had gone through these last ten days or so, but I achieved that goal. This morning, in time to fly to California, I have lost 150 lbs. 150.6, to be specific.

    For the first time since I set the goal in that app that came with my bathroom scale, I have less than fifty pounds to go to to my ultimate (and unrealistic) weight goal!

    I am currently on the plane on the first leg of my flight to LAX. I drove to the airport (a first – when the trip is short enough it is cheaper to pay for off-airport parking than it is to pay for the Uber to and from), I got through Security and Customs and I had my breakfast wrap (minus the bacon). As I promised myself I would, I swapped out the potatoes for slices of tomato. All in all I am not disappointed by what I ate. I did not bring snacks for the airplane but I will likely try to buy some nuts at the connecting airport. I do not want to be stuck on the second airplane hungry.

    Speaking of food and planning: I brought two meal replacements for every day I will be in California. I will still be eating smart, but I am not going to go completely off the program… just a little off the program. I will not be disappointed if I come back to Canada 2-3 lbs. heavier than I was this morning. I will be extremely upset with myself if it is worse than that. I brought the bathroom scale with me to try to keep me honest… to remind me every morning that I am not going to let myself go.

    It was a brisk morning in the Greater Toronto Area but the forecast for Los Angeles is sunny and mid-70s. It will be a lovely week, and I am looking forward to seeing my wife tomorrow… and all of my friends while I am there.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 605

    I wonder if the tremendous loss that I recorded on the bathroom scale this morning was my body catching up with the week that it spent messing with my head, or if it was because the weight of this week’s anxiety and stress drained from my mind and body throughout the day yesterday. Whatever it is, I was 2.8 lbs. down from yesterday morning… and 1.6 lbs. down from my previous best weight! You read that right… This morning I am once again at my best weight ever! This despite my eating another hearty dinner of chicken and broccoli last night. Happy New Year indeed!

    Adding to the elation of all that, my BMI is now below 32 for the first time (it peaked around 49.7 when I began this journey), and my BMR is down to 1958 (down from about 2900 at the outset). The bathroom scale might have known that it has not been nice to me this past week and it just wanted to make it up to me… but unless it really changes its mind in the next two days then I will be flying to California under 250 lbs… and while I would need to see another significant drop in the next forty-eight hours to get to 245 lbs. (as I had hoped I might just a couple of weeks ago), I might just be closer to that goal than my last one.

    Speaking of goals… I crossed another number off on my refrigerator this morning. It took nine days from the day I hit 250.0 until I dropped below 248.0, but I walked triumphantly to that paper and crossed it off triumphantly right after Floof and I got back from our walk. I don’t think either Leslie or I care who wins that bet that we made but I know that we are both doing very well… and the fact that we are encouraging each other makes it a victory for both of us!

    I am hoping that I will not be tempted to veer from my program today. Let me rephrase that: Of course I realize that I will be tempted to veer, but I am going to do my best to stay on track. I had a lovely omelette this morning, and for the rest of the day I will endeavour to have three meal replacements (properly timed), the rest of my coffee, a lot of water, and a cigar… or more likely two. As I have told many people, cigars are non-fat, zero calories, keto and gluten free, so if I indulge then the only affect it will likely have on my weight is to distract me from wanting to eat. I am also hoping to go for a good jog/walk today. I had planned to yesterday, and then I sat down to the task of changing passwords, one that I started earlier in the week when I realized how many older and reused passwords I had. It is not something that many people think of, but changing a password can take a couple of minutes; if it only takes 2 minutes to change one password then it is worth it, right? Well I had 275 passwords that needed changing and while I had probably gotten through fifty of them during the week, that left 225 or so that I changed yesterday. That makes 7.5 hours of effort! By the time I looked up from it I realized I had not only missed my first meal replacement of the day, but it was actually dinner time. I will do better today… and should sleep a little easier knowing that my password manager security score has gone from an abysmal 43% to a very respectable 82.4%. For someone who claims to be a cybersecurity-minded guy I do not think this was a waste of time.

    I suppose I should not sit at the computer all day again… it looks to be a beautiful day outside and I am going to take advantage of that. In fact it is my intention to turn the computer off in a few minutes and to not turn it on again until tomorrow. I don’t know if that is realistic, but I think I can give it a go.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 600!

    Holy wow! If you told me on January 20, 2022, that I would still be working at this nearly twenty months later I do not know if I would have believed you. If you had told me that twenty months later I would be at my best weight ever – nearly 150 lbs. down – then I would have been thrilled. Had you told me that it would take me 20 months to drop that weight, and that I would still be on the program… well, I do not know what I would have said. This has been a very challenging journey replete with struggles, hardships, and myriad ups and downs… not only with my weight but also my emotions.

    With that said, I was disappointed to see a huge jump on the bathroom scale this morning. I was disappointed to be back to (but not above) 250.0 lbs. after two days below it. Maybe I do need to exercise every single day in order to stay below that. It is also possible that the one cheat that I have been allowing myself during my two weeks of no cheating (a couple of ounces of the shredded cheese that is always on hand to put into my omelette can find their way into my mouth if I am truly struggling later in the day) is something that I can only allow myself when I have exercised.

    One thing that I should mention is that I have once again not moved my bowels for a couple of days, and that is probably a factor as well. I am not saying that if I had been successful this morning that my weight would not have been slightly up from yesterday, but it is possible that instead of a .8 lb. jump it might have been half of that. I have been adding fibre to my meal replacements sparingly because I remember what happened a few months ago; I am going to bite the bullet on that and will add a couple of teaspoons of it every day to try to induce some semblance of regularity. Last night I was feeling that I might have been able to poop successfully, but I was in bed, and I felt that if I might be able to then, I would definitely be able to the next morning. Wrong. Lesson learned: Going forward, go when the urge strikes.

    I mentioned to Leslie a couple of nights ago that I might consider taking my bathroom scale with me to California. Initially the idea was to help her, but as I struggle around these two major milestones (one of which I am still hoping to achieve by the time I get onto the plane a week from today) I am thinking that it would be a good idea for me as well. I have been saying that while we are in SoCal I will be more lax on my program than I have been these last few weeks; if I see the numbers up from the previous day I could adjust my eating accordingly. I have never in my life taken a bathroom scale with me on vacation (although I did take one with me when I moved to Japan, for all the good it did me). I have always been of the mindset that ‘I’m on vacation’ means that you can let yourself go and get back on track when you get home. I know now that I have used my mulligans; sure, I could do that… and then take two weeks to recover from whatever weight I might gain during the week. It would be a smarter plan to try to stay on track. I am not saying that I will stick to the program religiously, but I will also not be using the trip as an excuse to dive into large plates of deep-fried anything. I also know that Leslie does not want to stop her program, and it would be unfair to go nuts in front of her… or for that matter, even behind her back. It is settled then… as long as it can fit into my luggage, I will pack the bathroom scale and take it with me to California.

    The weather this morning was wet but not entirely miserable. It was raining a little but not terribly… not enough that Her Floofness would not go out for a bit of a walk at least. She spent the afternoon yesterday with her friend Charlie at the neighbour’s house, so she likely went out for a couple of extra walks. I am afraid that the neighbour is not working from home today so that will not be an option. In addition to this morning’s abridged walk, I am reasonably sure that we will be stepping out during my lunch hour. That is not a bad thing… it will be good to get some steps in on this, my second of five straight days when exercising will be impossible to fit in.

    My plan for the day is to not cheat at all. There will be no cheese. There was my omelette this morning, and there will be three meal replacements… as well as a pot of coffee and a lot of water. I do not mind running to the bathroom twelve times throughout the day; what I do mind is the thought that I might not drop back to my best weight ever over the next couple of days. At least I will have a relaxed evening on the balcony where I can video chat with my wife.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 599

    I got out of the restaurant unscathed yesterday, which I considered quite an accomplishment. The fact that the service was abysmal only aided that a very little bit. I had a nice lunch with my son the younger (or rather I watched him eat). I then went to get my car washed (it was long overdue), and then came home, had my meal replacement, and then went for a long walk/jog. I completed thirteen kilometres, which made it the fifth walk/jog of over 9km of the week, and the fourth of 12.5km or longer. All in all I am proud both of my day (insofar as I did not cheat, and I exercised) and my week (likewise).

    I am teaching a new class to a new audience for a new training provider beginning today. I am doing it on the recommendation of an old friend. In other words I cannot screw this up lest I let down my buddy and darken my name with a new potential source of income. No pressure, right? Add to that I will be working fourteen hour days Monday and Wednesday and I can tell you that this last week of the waning Jewish calendar year will not be an easy one. Then again, I suppose anything worth having is worth working hard for. I believe I am up to the task.

    Because of my work schedule this week I know that I will not be getting much exercise. All I can do is stay true to the diet end of the program and make sure I do not cheat, and hopefully I will continue to lose a couple of ounces every day. I do not expect any dramatic drops anymore, but I do loathe the possibility of possible gains… even though I know them to be simple blips on the overall downward trend of my weight loss graph… that is, as long as I stay true to the program. There is just no way that I can ingest what I have been ingesting on a daily basis and actually gain weight… that would be absurd.

    Okay, it is time to get to work. In truth, I started an hour ago, but the students are doing a quick evaluation right now, so I have a moment to close up.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 598

    I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning with trepidation. I knew that I had not cheated at all yesterday, and that I had gone for a very good walk. I knew all that yesterday morning as well so when the numbers on the scale were up, I was disheartened. After that measure I knew that if I did drop slightly then I would still be at or even above 250 lbs., and that I would need to lose at least .6 lb. to drop below that milestone. It did not help at all that I was not able to move my bowels this morning. I did yesterday after I wrote my article, but that doesn’t mean anything. I looked at the scale and stepped up as if I was taking that last step out of the helicopter. Just like that zipline drop, I waited there unable to move or do anything for several seconds. I then looked down to see where I was.

    249.4 lbs.

    I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought it would be a celebration, an exultation of some sort. There was nothing like that. In fact, I realized a minute later that I needed to repeat the process – not to check that I had not dreamed it, rather to take a picture of the numbers on the scale so that I could send them to my diet buddy who, at that moment, was I am sure lying comfortably in her bed three time zones away. I did not want to send it to my wife – I want to tell her personally so we can celebrate together. Julie has been a wonderful friend and she will be thrilled for me, but Leslie is the woman I want to share my triumph with. Maybe her absence is why I did not jump up and down or pump my fist in the air. I don’t know. Please do not misunderstand me; I am thrilled, elated, overjoyed… I am just toned down about it.

    Next milestone: down 150 lbs… and if I stay on track then that will be in the next ten days or less. I am less than five pounds from that one.

    I am picking up my son the younger at 11:30am and taking him for lunch. I have no doubt that we will be going back to Lone Star Texas Grill, where he will order the queso with chips, and a pound of breaded Buffalo wings with barbecue sauce. I will gird myself to resist the temptation of the free chips with salsa that the waiter will bring before he even takes our orders. I will order nothing but water or possibly coffee. I will sit and watch my thirteen-year-old boy devour his food that will look and smell so delicious and tempting. Now that I think of it, I might order a plate of celery and carrots. My boy always gives me his carrots, and a plate of carrot sticks would not hurt me. I don’t know… it will depend on how I feel when we sit down. If I feel that I am strong enough to make it through his meal, then I will simply eat the ones off his plate. If I am feeling weak, then I will ask for my own. I will not cheat.

    After I drop him off, I will come home and have my first shake of the day. It will be slightly later than usual, but not terribly so. I will see if I have the energy to go for a long walk, but I know that my body should get some recovery in from time to time. On the other hand, I am teaching this week (Monday and Wednesday from 9am to 9pm) so today is my last opportunity to exercise this year.

    Yes, Friday evening the Jewish People will welcome the New Year. Rosh Hashana is a time of reflection just as New Year’s Eve is on the Gregorian Calendar. This has been a wonderful year of change for me; I married my lovely wife (yes, we were married in a courthouse the previous year, but this year it was under the eyes of G-d). I lost a tremendous amount of weight this year; I actually lost more weight from January 20-December 31 2022 than I have this calendar year, or even from January 20-September 10 2022 than I have this year… but I still started and finished that year morbidly obese (Obese Class 3), whereas today I am 16 lbs. from dropping from Obese Class 1 to Overweight. I have written before about my thoughts about the BMI Scale, but absent more accurate yard sticks, I will take this one. What other changes have I made? I have been exercising (although not as regularly as I should, still pretty well). I have been more conscious of my appearance, and Leslie and I are that much closer to being able to live together. I have helped Leslie to learn more about our beautiful religion, and I have maintained my faith to a level that I am satisfied with… although I know that I can still do better, and I will endeavour to do so going forward.

    I was sitting and talking with a neighbour yesterday. He doggie is old but he’s a good boy and Princess Sophie wanted to spend some time on his patio with him, so his mom and I were talking. I told her how much weight I had lost, and she was absolutely shocked. I pulled out a picture of what I looked like on the day I started this journey, and she was flabbergasted. She started by saying that it had mainly been in my stomach. She then said ‘actually, I guess it was everywhere. You can see a real difference even in your face.’ This is a woman who only sees me fully clothed so she cannot see that my legs, my hips, my chest, my shoulders… every part of me is smaller, more toned, and less flabby. I still have a long way to go, but I am thrilled by the progress I have made so far.

    Here we are again. These last few days I have been writing about how many days I had weighed in lighter… well today that number is zero. I am at my best weight ever. My diet buddy said that there is nowhere to go but down, but when we talk next, I will remind her that thinking like that can lead to disaster. Down is where I want to keep going… but it would not take much for the trend to turn and for my weight to start going up. I cannot do that. Best Weight Ever is a great place to be… and I hope to keep moving that number downward over the next few weeks and months. I might take a pause for my week in California, but I am still not going to go overboard. I am going to do my best to come home on Tuesday, and on Wednesday morning step onto my doctor’s scale and weigh less than 110kg. This morning I weigh 113kg. Later that day I will be measured by the Hong Kong tailor, and I will be smaller than I have been since the Army. I will keep going because I know how easy it would be to lose focus and end up gaining the weight back again. I can never let that happen.

    Okay, it is time to get moving. I am going to sit outside with a very short cigar and my coffee, and in 25 minutes I will go to pick up my son.

    Have a great day folks!