Losing a part of me

Category: Sleep

  • Day 876

    I did not exercise yesterday. I also made a critical planning error when I headed out to my Lodge meeting without even having my third meal replacement of the day, let alone bringing my fourth with me. I ended up eating at the Lodge dinner – brisket sandwiches, but I threw most of the bun away. After the Lodge was ice cream and strawberries, but by the time I got there (I had stopped to talk) there were no berries left. I decided to ignore the ice cream, opting instead to take some of the beef that was still available. I did not even take the bread this time.

    My weight was not up this morning as I expected it would be. In fact, it dropped .2 lb. to 280 even. If I can stay true today then… yeah, tomorrow I’ll be down.

    I slept 9.5 hours last night! When have I said that in the last few years? It felt luxuriant.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 875

    I did not fall asleep until very late last night, although that was my fault. I lost track of time as I was listening to the last chapters of the book on tape that I have been listening to. Yes, I realize that audiobooks have not been on tapes in years, but that is still what I call them. By the time I was sawing lumber it was probably 2:00am. Were it not for Her Royal Floofness, I might have been able to sleep in… but responsible pet parents know that is not an option. My fitness watch reads just under 4.5 hours of sleep, although that is not usually accurate. I would estimate that I got closer to five hours of sleep before the gorgeous girl told me that it was time for me to get out of bed.

    It is a lovely day out, even though the forecast is for high winds later in the day. We walked a little farther than usual because she wanted to go another route, but when she started walking into the street (carefully after looking both ways) without my permission, I decided it was time for her to walk me on the leash. I do not mind her cheekiness when I am not in a rush (as I was not this morning), but when it comes to safety, all bets are off.

    I did not exercise yesterday. I also did not waste my day away. I rearranged the furniture in my apartment, and after nearly three years living here, I am absolutely thrilled by what I accomplished. I spent five hours on the task, which considering the size of the apartment (and the fac that I was really just rearranging a single room) sounds ridiculous… even to me. With that said, I truly feel that the end result is worth it. Long-time readers of my blog may remember that when I started out, I had sorted all of my clothes that did not fit into large plastic containers (by size). While a couple of the containers are still in use (for other things mostly), I found two of them and filled them with books that are now in my storage locker downstairs. While I did keep some of them upstairs (mostly my cigar library and books on Israel), the vast majority of the clutter has been put away. I love having them, but I also love having a cleaner and less cluttered space. While I do not consider that exercise, I did get 8500 steps in yesterday… not bad for an off day!

    While I was not 100% true to my program (I went and bought some almonds), I still lost nearly 1.5 lbs. this morning. I am now 3.6 lbs. away from where I was at my best weight of this go-around… and 4.2 lbs. from crossing off another number on the chart on my fridge. You remember that chart? The one that is counting down my weight loss until I shave my beard! No, I have not forgotten about that.

    Part way through writing this article I felt the urge, and for the second time today I moved my bowels. I suspect had this come out earlier then my weight might have been down a few more ounces. I suspect that adding more fiber into my shakes these last few days was a good idea… especially since I was a little backed up the previous week. I will continue to add a couple of teaspoons per day, although I will not be adding them to every shake going forward.

    On the subject of regulating my body: You may recall that Monday I met with my doctor to discuss (among other things) my medications. I started taking an antidepressant at the beginning of the year because I had been having trouble sleeping, and she believed it might have been because I was depressed. A couple of months ago, she recommended that I up the dosage, but I never did. Now that things are going better (read: Leslie and I are reconciled) I do not feel that I need them, so I spoke to her about cutting them out. She recommended I wean myself off over a period of two weeks, but being the stubborn hard head that I am, I just stopped. Today is my third morning without them and I am not feeling any ill effects, but I am not flushing them down the pishadoo just yet. If by the end of the month I am doing well then they are gone. She also increased my dosage of another med, and after discussing it with Leslie I decided that I will start the increased dosage on Saturday, so that I have a couple of days to adjust before I have to teach again. She’s a sage woman, my wife!

    I am going for a haircut shortly but will spend the afternoon working on a project that I have been neglecting for work. I am excited to dig into it, and more excited that I have finally made my workspace much more comfortable and organized so that I should be able to focus.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 839

    I was disgusted yesterday morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale and saw that my weight had jumped back up to 288 lbs., but I also had a very busy and stressful day yesterday, so not only did I not have the time to take any positive steps (such as exercising) to do something about it, but I also did not think to write about it. It was Leslie who told me this morning that I had neglected to post, and I took a minute to write up my thoughts.

    I was relieved this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale and saw that my weight had dropped back below 285 lbs. because it meant that the jump was likely a temporary result due to high sodium intake and retaining water. I will also say two things:

    1. Aside from my usual pre-bed pee, I woke up a few times in the night to repeat, and then also had a very strong pee this morning, and
    2. I had my first good bowel movement in several days this morning.

    All of that contributed to getting my weight back down, but that does not mean that I can be complacent. If I am going to do this, I have to do this.

    It took me a long time to fall asleep last night, and so I am pretty tired today. I will try to take a nap before class.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 837

    I was certain that after how I ate yesterday, I would have gained even more weight this morning. Fortunately that was not the case, and I even dropped a pound from yesterday. Today I did not snack much, and I stuck to my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then a protein bar because I felt like I was not going to make it through the end of my class. Today was my only complete 8am – 9pm day of the week, and I was mostly sitting at my desk. I did walk Her Floofness this morning, and somehow my steps are above 4,000 on the day. In a few minutes my evening class will be over, and I will take her out for another walk.

    I did not sleep well last night. I also did not move my bowels well today. Hopefully both of those will be resolved tonight and tomorrow morning. I also hope that if tomorrow is a nice day that I will be able to go for a nice walk.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 835

    I woke up this morning with a bit of sadness in my heart, but not because the bathroom scale showed my weight up by .2 lb.. I was sad because after breakfast I would be packing my carry-on bag and then Leslie and her son would be driving me to the airport, which is where I am currently sitting waiting for my flight.

    It has been a wonderful three weeks with my wife, despite the stress caused by the invasive species criminal tw@t who invaded her home and planted her flag, knowing the laws in Texas would protect her until we got a court order to have her removed. I teach my students that social engineers prey on three emotions to succeed: sympathy/our desire to be good, pressure/urgency, and fear/threats. This loser used all three of these tactics on Leslie, and when I finally got involved, she was already onto the threats/fear stage… and figured that the tactics that worked against my wife (and which would work against most people) would work against me. Boy, did she misread her audience on that one. Some people do not scare easily… others just don’t scare. I fit into that last category.

    With all that, it was a stressful couple of weeks… but happy times too. My wife and I had not been having the best time for the last few months, and we’re happily reconciled. Now if we could only live in the same country, that would be great.

    With the exception of one really bad night, I have had an excellent sleep score for the last ten days. Well, that is my word… Garmin considers anything above 80 to be good, and only scores over 90 are rated as excellent. As someone who has traditionally had trouble sleeping the night, I am going to consider every score above 75 to be excellent… so the last ten days have been great. Yes, there were a couple of really hard nights, but I made up for them when I could.

    I am thrilled that I got out for two good walk/jog outings while I was in Dallas, and hope that I will be able to continue that when I get back to Canada. Yes, there will be rainy days when I might opt to use the treadmill, but knowing that spring is here and the cold and snow and ice are behind us is a great motivator to get out and to get moving again! With that said, I need to cancel my gym membership. Crap.

    My weight is up from my best weight of the trip, but it is still down from the day before I left Canada. Now that I will be home and not worried about eating out, I should be able to get back in control of my weight loss. I have had a lot of emotional stresses in my life these last six months, and the numbers on the bathroom scale reflect that. Now it is time for me to pick myself up by my bootstraps and to get back to my best weight ever. That will take a few months I am sure, but it will happen.

    I have an hour and a half before my flight leaves, and I am sitting in the same French café that I ate at the first time I flew out of Dallas. Despite having an omelette for breakfast this morning, I ordered a muffin with my coffee. I do not know if they are serving food on the airplane or not (yes, I know I would have to pay for it) so I will pick up a snack to eat en route, just in case. When I get home I will check my food stocks, and then I will go to the supermarket to pick up whatever I might be missing. Also, I have to make sure everything is just right for Her Royal Floofness to return to her palace – she has spent three weeks away, and she will expect a royal welcome! I will see to it that there are plenty of treats and scritchies and lovies for her when she gets home!

    Okay, I suppose I will sign off and get ready to fly. I will check out the duty free shop and see if there is a bottle that I really need. I will then find my gate and sit there to wait for boarding, at which point I will try to sleep a little bit.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 829

    What a relief! This morning I stepped onto the bathroom scale to see that my weight has dropped below 280 lbs. for the fist time in nearly three weeks. This is my fourth day in a row that my weight is down, and I am happy to be back below that horrible number. I hope to be able to stay there forever… and to keep going.

    Yesterday I ate exactly as planned. I had the matzah brei for breakfast, chicken salad (with another small piece of chicken) for lunch, and for dinner Leslie and I bought a couple of pieces of prepared salmon from Whole Foods with a mango glaze, and a side of garlic hummus. It was delicious. We shared a bottle of wine with our cigars, and all was good in the world.

    I slept. Wow, did I sleep yesterday! Firstly, Leslie and I decided to take a nap in the afternoon. What we thought might be thirty minutes of shut-eye turned into a 3.5 hour deep-sleep nap for both of us. We then got up and enjoyed our evening. When it was time for bed though… wow, did we hit it hard! According to my fitness watch my sleep score was an amazing 88, with 9h35 minutes registered. I cannot remember the last time I slept so well! I really needed it… the stress of the last week really took its toll on me, and despite thinking that I was fine, I knew from my yawning that I really was behind on my shut-eye. I woke up this morning refreshed in a way that I have not felt in quite some time.

    We revisited the matzah brei this morning, and then I went to pick up our lattés from Human Bean. We enjoyed them on the balcony with a brunch cigar – a tradition that Leslie and I have going back a couple of years on weekends when we are together and when her son is with his father. We finished that around 1:15pm, but owing to the late breakfast, neither of us was hungry yet. We went to the Japanese store to pick up a couple of things that we needed, and when we got home around 2:30pm we were both ready for lunch, which was the same as yesterday.

    For dinner this evening Leslie is preparing lamb for us with sauteed mushroom and onion which I am looking forward to. We have another bottle of wine to share with our cigar, and if all goes well that will be the extent of our eating… and tomorrow morning wouldn’t it be nice to see another drop in my weight? We’ll see… I know, hope is not a strategy… but if what I have been doing these last four days has worked, then doing the same today might result in a similar result.

    I might have to delay restarting my intense program by a week. I have an engagement for a day in Ottawa, and I will take that opportunity to visit Montreal as well. I have not been there since September 2022, and that is too long for me to not see my friends… not to mention visiting my father’s grave site. I have tried to do the program while traveling and it is never easy, so I am considering starting after my return. With that said, I will be very mindful of what and how much I eat when I go.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 826

    This morning was the first day in a week that I woke up in our apartment and not in a hotel room. I was thrilled for the good night sleep that I got, and for being able to sleep in our own bed without having to lock the door for fear of being intruded upon. I was excited that we did not have to drive back to the apartment to take Duchess for her walk and to feed her and to give her attention. Last night was thrilled to be able to teach my class in peace from the comfort of my wife’s desk. The only negative emotion that I could not shake was the horror that I would be stepping onto the bathroom scale this morning.

    I did not eat well this past week, and I have not been dishonest about it. Most of my meals were decent enough, but I just snacked way too much… and in terrible quantities. I was horrified that I was going to step onto the bathroom scale this morning to see that I had gained ten pounds in a week. I also knew that if I did, then I would a) now weigh over 290 lbs. (and close enough to 295 to be worried); b) I would have gained a full 50 lbs. from my best weight ever; and c) I would be within a bad day or two of that dreaded 300 lbs. mark… the mark that I said that I would never even flirt with again. If there was one reason why I did not sleep better than I did last night, then it was that.

    At the end of my bathroom rituals I stepped onto the scale with trepidation. The app was open on my phone, and I was dreading where the numbers would stop. When they did, I was shocked. Since my last weigh-in on Wednesday, my weight was down 2.8 lbs. Yes, you read that correctly. With all of the chips, nuts, fruit, and other goodies that I had overindulged on, not to mention the bagels (before Passover) for breakfast and over the past three days a lot of matzah with peanut butter and jam, and with no exercise to speak of (save for walking Duchess)… my weight had dropped nearly three pounds in the week. I weighed less this morning than I have since I got here… and for three days before that

    I cannot see this as a sign that I can be complacent. Everything that I have said over the last few days will stand. When Ryan starts on his program in May I am going to do it with him… at least for a few weeks. I am going to try to be more mindful than I have been. I am going to do my best to not let stress and anxiety make me drop my guard and eat more than I should. I am going to continue to weigh myself daily and journal daily and make sure that when I do have a bad day that I make things right over the next few days.

    I may have gotten a reprieve this past week (which my wife says is probably due to the enormous amount of stress), but that does not mean that I am happy with where I am. Most of my pants do not fit, and when I look at myself in the mirror, I can see that I am a fat man. I do not mean this based on the psychological perception… I mean that I see that I am fat and too damned big. At my absolute lowest weight I was just under 240 lbs. and now I am 282, which means I am nearly 45 lbs. heavier than I was seven months ago. It is time to be done with that and to get back to where I was then. I will continue to journal, but not just about ‘this is what I did yesterday’ or ‘I don’t have anything to write.’ I will use this journal to do what it was meant to from the very beginning… to hold myself accountable.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 808

    This morning was the first time that my weight dropped below what I weighed the day before I flew to Cuba. Sometimes travel can be like that… I had expected with all of my walking (and almost no snacking) to lose as much as five pounds, but with the three travel days, plus all of the pasta and bread that I consumed in Cuba, I am happy that I broke even. My first two and a half days back in Canada I did not do myself any favours, but yesterday I did pretty well. I am still at 277.4 lbs., but that is better than … well, more.

    Yesterday morning I devoured the rest of the challah from Friday night, and while I should not have done that, I am going to give myself a pass… and will not be buying a whole challah anytime soon. After that, I ate reasonably. I will try to do the same today.

    My plan is to go see my buddy in the afternoon for a cigar or two. After that I will come home for dinner and will try to be in bed at a reasonable hour. I find that the earlier I am in bed, the less tempted I am to cheat.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 804

    Houston… what a terrible airport. United… what a terrible airline. I am looking forward to getting home, that’s all I can say.

    I was optimistic in my thinking when I said I would arrive in Houston by 5:30, be check into the hotel at 6:15, and would head to Blend Bar for the evening. It never occurred to me that I would not get out of the airport for over two hours, including a ridiculous ordeal trying to get an Uber. By the time I was settled into my room it was 9:00pm and I was hungry. I headed down to the restaurant, where I was planning to redeem both drink vouchers the manager of the hotel gave me.

    I was almost very bad. I almost ordered Buffalo wings… in fact I did, but immediately changed it to a hamburger. While that is not exactly a healthy meal, it could have been much worse. I cannot have Buffalo wings until I am sure that I can have a reasonable amount of them, and only occasionally. I had a beer with dinner, and a glass of red wine after dinner with a cigar outside. I got back to my room around 10:30. I reorganized my luggage (making sure to pack my Duty Free rum into my checked luggage), and then got into bed to wind down for a bit before sleeping.

    I slept well but not enough – I could have added 90 minutes to my total had I not opted for the cigar, but that was my choice. I was out of bed five minutes prior to my 6:00M alarm, and went about my morning bathroom rituals. Today was the first day in ten that I had Internet while sitting in the loo, and I checked my email and social media before taking a lovely shower. I closed my suitcases and took them down so that I would not need to return to the room after breakfast.

    The hotel itself was very comfortable, and the front desk staff last night (as well as the restaurant) were great. Their shuttle service, on the other hand, was lousy. I emailed the GM (with whom I made friends) and he apologized, telling me that yesterday they turned in their 15-seat van for a much smaller one in anticipation of a slower season… so when I got there in time the driver told me ‘too bad, so sad… o room.’ I had to either pay for my own taxi, or wait until the next one (30 minutes later). Grrr.

    Honestly, the hotel room and restaurant were great; everything else since I got to Houston was a shit show, up to and including the rude and dishonest service on the airplane out. I will not bore my readers with the details, but suffice it to say that I will be glad to be back in Canada. I should also mention that the CBP officers were very polite and efficient, and do not EVERYTHING in the Houston airport sucked… only most things.

    I probably had slightly more breakfast that I normally would, but I don’t think it was a real cheat. The only real cheat in Houston was a bag of chips after my cigar. I am hoping that the disgusting g airline actually lets me purchase food on board, but I am not holding my breath. Judging from Little Miss Sunshine who ‘helped’ me before we took off, I rather suspect that I’ll be lucky to get a warm glass of spit. If they do actually have what is listed in the magazine, I will have a chicken wrap and a can of chips.

    It is presently 10:30am CDT, which means 11:30 in Toronto. We are scheduled to land around 2:15pm, and if all goes well I should be home by 4:15. I’ll run out to pick up a quick bite before class, and will be ready at my computer at 5:30pm. As I said to Leslie earlier, I am not expecting to be able to relax and breathe until a little after 9:00pm tonight. I am really hoping to get a good night sleep in my own bed; with Her Royal Floofness snuggled into my back.

    Tomorrow morning I will step onto the bathroom scale for the first time since March 23. I am hoping for a five-pound drop, but as long as I did not gain weight I will be happy. It is great that I am not expecting to gain weight after a vacation… that is usually when people do. My last weigh-in before leaving Canada was a relief for having dropped back below 280 lbs., and I really want to stay there… and then hopefully get below (and stay below) 270 before my upcoming trip to Dallas. I hope I can make it!

    I got notification yesterday that my new shirts and sports jacket are arriving tomorrow! It usually takes eight weeks from when I order them, and they have never come in 5 weeks. I am excited but also a little scared… on the 23rd I weighed 12 lbs. more than when I was fitted for them. I am hoping they fit well, and that I do not have to lose a few more pounds until I wear them. I am going to do my best.

    With spring coming I might not be using the treadmill very much, only because I want to walk outside. With that said, I have to remember that April in Canada is usually a wet month, and so I have to make sure that if I am not going out then at least I will not be stagnant. I texted my neighbour who is caring for Her Floofness and she told me that it is raining today and tomorrow, so while I might take Floof out for a bit, a power walk is unlikely… not that I would have the time to anyways.

    I will try to do some quick grocery shopping before my class so that I will be have food in the house for tomorrow morning. I think I still have enough eggs and milk, but I do not remember what else I might need. I have spent the last ten days eating in restaurants and i want to get off that cadence starting with dinner tonight. It is unlikely that I will have time to cook, but at least I can pick up something ready to eat from the supermarket deli counter.

    I am wearing long pants for the first time since I checked into my apartment in Havana on the 24th. It feels a bit weird, but in truth I should have put them on before smoking my cigar in Houston. It was a bit nippy out, at least compared to the weather in Havana. I am sure the 51 sunny degrees I experienced this morning will feel like heaven when I land in Toronto, but that’s life. I only wish I had thought to pack a warmer shirt than I did – I do have a long sleeve guayabera that I had I tended to have to change into when I was on the plane, but as I reorganized my bags to lighten my carry-on, I suspect I packed it into one of my suitcases. Oops! I’ll change at the airport in Toronto once I collect my luggage. I do have a sleeveless vest that I packed in my knapsack so even if my luggage is lost I’ll have SOME protection from the elements.

    What else is going on? I have a lot in my mind right now, and am trying to organize my thoughts. When I spoke with the young man from Chabad in Havana he told me they desperately need any Judaica, especially books, and that they do not even have a Torah. I am not sure what I can do about that but I know I am going to look into it and see what I can do to make that right. We will see.

    One week from tomorrow will be a special day for me, and I am looking forward to it. I am not talking about it now, but hopefully after Thursday next I’ll be able to say something. I honestly am not sure what I am getting into with it, but it is all about helping people and charities. How can that be bad, right?

    Okay, it’s 11:00am and I’m going to shut the phone and see if I can get that chicken wrap. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 803

    I got back to my apartment at 2:00am and decided it was better to start packing before I went to sleep, rather than rushing it and trying to do everything in the morning. It was not at all surprising that although I came down with two suitcases that weighed 60 lbs. each and two carry-ons that weighed 25 lbs. each my two suitcases (which included my larger and heavier carry-on) weighed less than 60 lbs. combined, and my knapsack that I am carrying on weighs probably 20 lbs. From the beginning it was my intention to leave a ton of stuff (much of which I collected from my generous friends in Canada) with my buddy in Havana who is a Mason; some of it was for him and his family, most of it will be distributed by his lodge. It feels incredible to be able to help the poor Cuban people who need it; it feels wonderful to be traveling home with a much lighter load than I came with.

    Yesterday was another good day, both with regards to walking and with food intake. Late in the evening I was hungry and thought about enjoying a protein bar, but instead I opted to go to sleep with a slightly empty stomach. According to my phone (which I know is not as accurate at my fitness watch) I walked nearly 18,000 steps and climbed sixteen flights. There is nothing wrong with that!

    As I write this journal entry I am sitting in the airport in Havana. After passing through all of the checkpoints I purchased a bottle of booze at Duty Free, as well as some crackers and wafers. I gave my buddy the last of my US Dollars this morning, after putting aside enough to get to the airport and $5 extra for a cheese sandwich (which I am slowly savouring as I write). I was hoping that my Canadian credit card would work at Duty Free, but it did not, and I was relieved to have Canadian Dollars. The exchange rate is lousy, but the bottle that I purchased is not available in Canada, and as long as the US does not confiscate it from me, I should not have a problem. I have an hour and a bit before my flight boards, and while I will not be connecting to the Internet (which means it will not publish until I land in Houston), I am happy to have a relaxing time to sit and put down some thoughts.

    I love helping the Cuban people, and am happy to have the ability to do so. What sometimes jades me is how blatantly the people in the street size you up and try to separate tourists from their money. Last night as I was walking home a lady (in the loosest sense of the word) accosted me in a vain attempt to get me into bed (and for her to get into my wallet). This was not the first time that has happened to me, and I was not in the mood to even stop walking. As I kept telling her no, she asked why. I eventually told her that she was not my type. She asked what was my type, because she has a friend. I told her that I only like boys. This shocked and offended her… but after a snide comment it also got her to leave me alone. (For those who are wondering, it was as blatant a lie as I have ever told, as I clearly am quite straight!)

    This morning a guy saw me walking with a couple of bags that I was taking for my buddy. He said ‘Is that for me?’ I told him that it was not. He then started playing upset that I help others and not him, and that he says hello to me every time I pass by ‘his corner.’ I looked at him straight and told him that am happy to say hello to everyone, but with 400 people saying hello to me in Old Havana every day, I do not have the wherewithal nor the desire to help every single one. I say hello because it is the nice thing to do, but if he is doing it solely to get something from me then he should not say hello to me anymore. He got pissed off… but he pissed off.

    I may be exaggerating with the number 400, but not by much. There seems to be an entire brigade of people trying to get you a taxi, sell you cigars, give you a tour in a classic car (or walking), or sex with their sister mother daughter aunt or grandmother. Every single person wants to change your dollars, or wants you to help the me to buy medicines or bread for their children or grandmother. Everyone has a sob story, and every one of them is well trained in sizing up tourists and figuring out an angle. While I joke about it from time to time, it really does get boring in a hurry. When I give something to someone in the street I do not know where it will end up. When I give it to the Freemasons I know that it will be distributed to people who really need it, and not to people whose job it is to con tourists.

    That is not to say that I do not give money to some people in the street. Sunday evening I was sitting at a café when a man walked by wearing a kippa and wearing a Star of David. I stopped him and spoke with him, and gave him some money. Saturday evening I was waiting for a friend outside a restaurant when a man approached me on crutches; he had one leg, and his one foot was obviously in trouble. I gave him some money (and spent time talking with him), but what he wanted I could not give him. He wanted hard currency… dollars and Euros. He said he needs it to buy his medicine. Whether or not that is true, I did not have sufficient money in my pocket… and when he told me I should go back to my apartment to get it for him, I told him that I could not. I feel terrible for him and for all of the Cuban people, but there is only so much I can do. If I gave every person in the streets that needed money for (fill in the blank) only one dollar, I would not have money to eat… let alone take care of my friends who also have their sad stories.

    I feel terrible that I get jaded, but the incessant onslaught of people obviously trying to scam me gets old fast. I feel terrible that I cannot help everyone… but I do not have that kind of money. I try to find a balance between not making eye contact with all of them and not letting my heart harden to their plight. I am reminded of my visit to Mumbai, how sad it was seeing the dichotomy between the opulence of the palatial hotel I would spend my evenings in and the modern and secure office complex in which I spent my days, and the throngs of people living in lean-to hovels along the road who had nothing. It was hard to see that. It’s hard to see the plight of the Cuban people as well… but while none of them live well, I know that none of them are going to starve to death, and they all have somewhere to live. Knowing that the tourist areas are well-manned by these hawkers and such, I have to decide each time I come whether my love for the city is enough to keep me renting the cheap apartment off the beaten path, or if I am better off at a hotel. So far the apartment and the real Havana keeps winning out.

    My plane leaves in an hour, and I am going to make my way upstairs to my gate. I was disappointed to learn that I will need to collect my luggage in Houston, but that’s life in the fast lane. I only wish I did not have the overnight layover. I miss my dog and I miss my bed. The hotel bed tonight will be much more luxuriant than the one I have been sleeping in this trip, but Princess Sophie will not be in it. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow afternoon when I finally do get home.

    Have a great day folks!