Losing a part of me

Category: Sleep

  • Day 794

    I did not weigh myself this morning before heading to the airport. That is because I did not sleep one minute last night. I hope I will be able to sleep on the plane. Our story:

    At 10:15pm I was in bed and ready to sleep four hours. That would not be much, but I would be able to get by on that if I had to… as long as I do not try to do it too often. At 11:10 my phone binged with a travel alert. I looked and it told me that my 6:00am flight was delayed until 10:15am. At first glance, that was not a bad thing… I would be able to get four more hours of sleep! I then did a little math in my head, and I realized I had better check with the airline. It’s a good thing I did… I was going to miss my connecting flight, and they were only able to rebook me for Wednesday! That would not do…

    I spent half an hour trying to communicate with someone at American Airlines… to no avail. I was on hold on the phone (approximate wait time: eight hours), and I was in a queue with their website chat agents (approximate wait time: two hours). I was not a happy camper! Of course, they were giving me the option to cancel my flight… they were not going to refund it, but they would give me a flight credit. How generous of them… not.

    You know what? I will be flying again shortly, whether back to Cuba or elsewhere, so I decided to bite the bullet and see if I could find a comparably priced ticket for today. Sure enough, United Airlines was able to accommodate me. It was somewhat more expensive, but I did not really have a lot of choice… I have paid for the apartment in Havana, and I have arranged several meetings with friends and others that I did not want to have to scramble to change.

    I had some issues paying for the ticket… one of my cards was recently lost, one is close to its limit, and one (which is nowhere near its limit) just didn’t work. While the fourth card did have issues (or rather, their website had issues with it) I was finally able to get it through.

    By the time i was able to fix my Cuba travel documents the clock read 12:30am, and I was still wired from the scramble to fix everything. I knew that it would take me a while to calm down, at which point if I did fall asleep, I would never have been able to wake up. I ordered my Uber, then I got dressed and schlepped my luggage downstairs.

    I should mention that I have never arrived at the airport before the check-in counters were open; once I was checked in, through security, and cleared by US CBP, it was a little after 3:30am… and the restaurants do not open until 4:30am. I was glad I thought to grab a protein bar as I walked out.

    So here I sit, fed, and waiting patiently for my flight with a cup of coffee. As I do, I guess this entry is supposed to be about how I did yesterday. I had breakfast with Lyle and Dorothy… corn meal waffles with maple syrup. Yum! I then drove to Cambridge to enjoy a cigar with Ryan et al. I was planning to leave there by 3:00pm, and I was close… I was in my car by 3:20. I got home hungry so I prepared my dinner, then started packing. With all of the gear I brought for charity and for friends I cannot think of too many times I have packed that much without actually moving. I checked two large suitcases (weighing 25kg each), and I have two sizeable carry-on bags (which I have not weighed, but they are significant as well). On my return flight I expect I will have an entirely empty large suitcase, and my larger carry-on bag will be packed inside it. The other bags will still be half the weight and not nearly bursting the seams. I am just glad that I was able to give the airline the two larger bags when I checked in.

    What else is going on… let me think: my return flight is going to require me to spend the night in Houston on my way home. Drat… but there is a possibility that I might be able to make lemonade with that lemon! We’ll see. I was able to let Johnny know that I would more than likely be late for our 4:00 meeting. I still have to let Sue know what happened and that I will need her to take care of Her Royal Floofness for one more night. I have sent a few other texts to people who might be affected by the changes, but do not expect answers until a reasonable hour.

    I am surprised that my step count is only just over 2200… although that is 2150 steps higher than it would normally be at 5:10am were I not traveling. By the time the day is over I am sure that will be up to 18,000 steps… but if it is not I will still not fret. I had a bit of a cheat breakfast today, but my usual routine in Havana should have me expending a lot more energy than I eat. Assuming my weight this morning would have been what it was yesterday, I would love to be 5-6 lbs. down the morning after I get back to Canada. How do I do that? A lot of walking, mindful eating, and only moderate drinking.

    Have a great day folks… and I will see you in Havana!

  • Day 793

    It was a relief to see the numbers on the bathroom scale drop significantly from yesterday morning, taking me mercifully below the dreaded 280 lbs. mark. Hopefully I will be able to drop another few pounds on vacation, which is not something I would normally say… except I know that I do not overeat in Cuba, and that I do a lot of walking.

    Yesterday was a good day. I finished my class exactly as expected, and then ran to the bank to exchange money. I then came home and made dinner, after which I lit the candles and said my prayers. I selected a magnificent cigar to enjoy on the balcony, which I paired with a lovely rum. I overpoured the rum, but rather than overindulging, I threw the last bit out. I was having such a lovely time that I decided to enjoy another cigar.

    My sleep score was high, and while I had some trouble falling asleep, I mercifully did not have an alarm set, so I was able to sleep until I woke up at 8:30am.

    I tried to check in for my flight, but I forgot that when flying to Cuba through the United States, you need to check in at the airport. Drat. Her Floofless has been walked, and I now have a few things to do, which will start with joining my friends Lyle and Dorothy for breakfast.

    Have a great day folks! I will try to write from the airport tomorrow… and if not, then Havana!

  • Day 779

    I definitely needed more sleep last night than what I got, but I had such a great time and I do not mind that I’ll be tired today. I will take it easy after I come home from taking my son (the younger) for lunch.

    Yes, I gained a very small amount of weight this morning over yesterday. It would not have happened if I had protein bars in the car, but I did not… so as I was leaving Toronto at 1:15am I stopped and bought a bag of chips. Bad Mitch… I’ll survive.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 776

    After four straight days of gains (totaling 6.6 lbs.) it was a relief to see a serious drop on the bathroom scale this morning. I lost 2.8 lbs. from yesterday, which brings me back down below that dreaded 270 lbs. mark. Phew!

    With that said, I was not very good yesterday. I had a chicken shawarma pita for lunch (which is not the worst thing in the world), and two protein bars in the late afternoon. There is a saying about idle hands being the devil’s whatever… I arrived at the area where I was meeting my buddy in the evening 45 minutes early, and I parked in front of a supermarket. I went in to pick up some nuts but came out with dried mangos and a bag of party mix, and indulged both while I waited, and then on the 45-minute drive home. I was kicking myself for this, and because of it was not expecting a good result from the bathroom scale this morning. While luck really has nothing to do with it, I am nonetheless using the phrase ‘I got lucky.’ While I do have to get into my car (where the two bags are waiting for me) today, I will not be opening them.

    I thought I slept pretty well last night, with my fitness watch clocking 8h4m of sleep. With that said, it only gave me a sleep score of 50, citing ‘poor recovery.’ I wonder if I don’t get better sleep when I take a melatonin gummy shortly before bed. I will try that this evening and see what happens. I was back from Toronto yesterday by 10:00pm but did not really get to sleep until midnight. This evening, I only have to drive to Mississauga to pick something up and will most likely head right home. The only plans I should have after 7:30pm are to walk my puppy and to smoke my cigars. Hopefully, with a nice and relaxing day planned, I will be able to get a very good night sleep tonight.

    Once again, I want to thank my readers who reached out to me over the last few days for their caring and support. It meant the world to me when my spirits were low, and I have not forgotten now that my spirits are higher.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 767

    My weight gain this morning was within the margin of error – which is to say that I might as well have not gained anything. After a day of complete rest and recovery (while still eating) I am not surprised that I did not lose weight and am quite satisfied to be up 0.2 lbs. from yesterday morning.

    Sticking with my plans of resting, I was in bed at 8:00pm and asleep by 8:30pm last night. My sleep score (according to my fitness watch) was 84, with a total duration of 9h26m. It is not often I try to go to bed early, but last night I knew I could either stay awake and watch television, or I could try to get as much sleep as possible. Sleep won out, and Her Floofness was only happy to keep me warm all night.

    I am still not feeling well this morning, but aside from feeling a bit light-headed, I am not sneezing as much as I did the last few days. I am sure that I will be able to get through the day unscathed.

    See you all tomorrow!

  • Day 766

    I was disappointed yesterday morning to see that my weight climbed a bit from the previous day. I also did not follow my regimen very well yesterday, so I was expecting to see that happen again today. Imagine my pleasure to see that not only did it drop, it dropped to below Friday’s weight. In fact, my weight has not been where it is in a month. I am happy for the progress.

    As for the emotional side of life? I am trying to stay balanced. It is hard… but I am trying. My time away helped, but returning to the onslaught of reality was not easy. Doing so with a head cold made it harder. I am going to spend a lot of time in bed today… again.

    Speaking of bed: my Sleep Score from yesterday was the best I ever remember seeing. I am not sure I have ever seen it above 90, so 95 was a shock! According to my fitness watch I slept 8h39m with the right amount of every measure. Last night that score dropped to 72, probably owing to the fact that I went to bed at 8:00, and then two hours later I was up for three hours. I will get more rest today, and will really try to take it easy.

  • Day 755

    There are some things that would be difficult for anyone who has not spent time in Cuba to understand. One of these is that Internet is only available in some places, and then only when it feels like working. As an example, it rained yesterday, hence despite having written my article, I could not publish it because the Internet does not work in Cuba when it rains. Additionally, the previous day’s article was written and I thought it had published… but I was wrong. Don’t worry, I am able to backdate them so that when today’s article goes live my 756-day streak should be intact.

    I do not go out of my way to be online when I am here. Several hours after my article was finished, I was sitting at a café and the Internet was working… but my article was on my computer back in my apartment. I did not feel it necessary to run back, grab my computer, and come back to the café… not only because it is possible that in the fifteen minutes I was gone, the Internet might have dropped again. It’s all good.

    Despite writing about it in the past tense, I am actually starting today’s article yesterday… which is to say, last night. Yes, as I type this out I am lying in bed and ready to sleep. My feet are in agony – between Monday and Tuesday I walked over 44,000 steps! I got back to the room and peeled my shoes and socks off, then hobbled to the shower where I stood painfully but necessarily under the hot water. I did not shower this morning and I felt grungy. I briefly considered not shaving because that would entail standing for another five minutes or so. Once my stubble was gone I then considered (again briefly) not walking to the kitchen where I had to shut the gas for the water heater… I did the responsible thing and endured those extra thirty or so steps. Now I am lying comfortably so that the soles of my feet (which are currently about 40% blister) do not have to touch anything for the next eight hours or so.

    I am not eating as well as I should, but in the balance between caloric intake and calories burned I suspect I am doing well. I had a reasonable breakfast, a rich lunch of pasta with cream sauce (and a couple of glasses of rum, thanks to my buddy who owns the restaurant), and a mostly healthy dinner (although the French fries were not a good choice). I smoked several cigars throughout the day and drank more coffee than I probably should; the restaurants here serve a piece of chocolate with each cup of coffee, and I do not feel too guilty for eating them. Unlike yesterday (when I indulged in a piece of chocolate cake for desert after lunch) those were the only sweets that I had. I also had two glasses of juice… but I am sure my body will forgive me. All in all, I am hoping that were I to step on my bathroom scale this morning I would not be too disappointed.

    I am planning on taking it easy Wednesday (today). I will do some walking around Old Havana in the morning, and sometime in the afternoon I am meeting friends at the Hotel Nacional (4km from here). Unless my feet experience some sort of miraculous recovery, it is my intention to take a taxi to get there and back. Those will be the first I have taken since the one that brought me from the airport. The plan is to relax, smoke cigars, and to chat. No harm in that, right?

    —

    Okay, it now really is tomorrow (today) and I am sitting at the café in Calle Aguilar. I had the same breakfast I’ve had every day and am enjoying a cup of coffee. I just had a nice conversation with an American who lives just south of Montreal (in New York State) who is on his first trip here, and we spoke about cigars and economics and how to help the people here… while not getting taken in by the ploys that abound. Now I am going to finish my second cup of coffee and when I put my computer away I will pull out my backgammon set in the (probably vain) hopes that someone will sit down to play. It does not seem to be a very Cuban game. Oh well.

    My feet are still hurting, but not nearly as bad as they were last night. I am still going to take it easy – I doubt my step count will exceed 10,000 today – and will take taxis if I am going to leave Old Havana. Unless my friend from Portugal invites me to the Hotel Nacional for coffee I will not be leaving the neighbourhood. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night because of them, and finally I broke down and took a couple of Aspirin. I took two more this morning and will proactively take a couple more throughout the day. I have no problems pushing myself, but there is a fine line between pain and injury… and I want to make sure my feet do recover so that I am not in pain the entire trip. I know that I overdid things my first few days here, and I know I have to pace myself. I can go back to Canada and limp around, but if I want to go to the store in Canada I can get into my car if I am in too much pain to walk. That is not an option here.

    It is still cool and a little cloudy, but the sun is coming out and I will be wearing sunglasses today. What else will I be doing? Who knows… whatever it is, I’ll have fun. There will be cafes and restaurants and music… and hopefully some backgammon involved.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 753

    Saturday evening was not nearly as successful as the rest of the day was. I took my son the younger for dinner, and I was very happy to see him (as I always am). He confided something in me about his relationship with his brother that disturbed me so much that when I got home, I was not able to concentrate on anything. Packing my carry-on bag should normally take me five minutes but it took me nearly an hour because I was so scatterbrained. Likewise, when I did get to bed, I was not able to sleep a wink. It is frustrating as all get-out when one is tossing and turning, head full of terrible thoughts, knowing that the alarm is set for 2:00am. The last time I looked at the clock it was 12:25am, and I was extremely worried that I would not wake up with my alarm.

    Fortunately, I did wake up, and while I was exhausted the whole time, my travels were uneventful. I was in my apartment in Havana by 3:00pm, and by 3:30pm I was sitting with my brother in his bistro in Old Havana. I said several times that I was going to take a nap, but that never happened; I alternated between walking around the old city and siting at my buddy’s restaurant.

    I will be good today. There is no good reason for me to cheat. I will even try to go for a run… despite the fact that my feet are blistered from walking around in my sandals yesterday. I’m already at 5,000 steps, which is nothing to sneeze at.

  • Day 751

    I am having a good day so far… after a wonderful but very late night last night. No details; I was out and had a nice time. Unfortunately, that gave me precious little sleep. I was relieved that of the 3.2 lbs. that I gained yesterday morning, I dropped 2.8 lbs. this morning… putting me once again below that terrible 270 lbs. mark that I was so angry with myself for exceeding… even if it was only for a day.

    I am packed for my trip… although when I am back from dinner with my son, I will pack my carry-on bag. I tried to check in this morning, but apparently you cannot check in online for flights to Cuba that go through the USA. Okay, I will have to check in at the airport. No big deal.

    I had a late breakfast this morning, followed by lunch with my friends and godchildren. I ordered the salmon power bowl, which was probably a bit high in calories, but healthy. I am soon taking my son the younger for dinner, and wherever we go I will make sure to eat smart.

    Almost as soon as I am home from dinner I will be going to bed. Aside from the fact that I only slept about four hours last night, I am setting my alarm for 2:00am so that I can get to the airport for a very early flight. Once I am through the US Immigrations checkpoint, I will officially be on vacation. Yay!

    I’ll see you all tomorrow… either from the airport, from Miami International Airport, or from Havana!

  • Day 748

    I was disappointed this morning to see that I not only gained weight again but gained a substantial amount of it. I did not eat badly yesterday, and I jogged nearly thirty minutes. The things I can point to from yesterday that were not on my program were a roll for breakfast, an apple in the evening, a dark chocolate wafer that my master (Taekwondo before you ask) brought and insisted I try, and the eggrolls that I had with my dinner. I am going to cut the eggrolls down today and skip the apple and chocolate. I already ate my roll with breakfast.

    I am counting down the days until I get onto the airplane. If there are no delays, then I will be landing in Havana in three days and twenty-two hours. I do not want to think about what issues I might have but I am hoping for clear sailing from beginning to end. Here’s hoping!

    My sleep score last night was an amazing 85. According to my fitness watch I slept 7h 25m, and got plenty of deep sleep. I suspect that something was a little off on that, as I woke up around 7:30am, and I thought I was in bed much earlier than midnight. Oh well… even if I did go to sleep that late, I am not used to getting that much good sleep. It was the third night in a week in which my score was above 80, and with the exception of Friday night (which was a terrible night, although I cannot remember why) it has been 77 or higher every night. I am glad to be sleeping better… now if I can just stop eating and gaining weight!

    I have no plans to overeat today… although I suppose I seldom do. My goal is to stick to my program and drop a couple of these pesky pounds before I get onto the airplane. I could hardly believe when I saw the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning… I weigh nearly 270 lbs. again! I have to get off this rollercoaster and start dropping some of that. I do not want to do anything too extreme, but I also do not want my weight to creep above that terrible mark again.

    I ran less than I had planned to yesterday, but at a slightly faster pace. When I first started the treadmill – within the first fifteen seconds – I realized there was a sharp pain in my ankle. It was not an injury, but if I pushed myself, it could easily become one. I stopped the treadmill, spent a few minutes stretching it, and then started up again. I have been setting the pace to 4 mph (at a 3% incline). Within the first minute of my run, I pushed that up to 4.2 mph. I pulled up at 2 miles (I have been doing 3 miles) because I was worried about my ankle. I re-calibrated my fitness watch (which was nowhere near accurate) and called it a day. I will try to get a couple of miles in again today but will now be paying attention to both my knees and my ankle. Sigh. Getting old is not fun, but as my parents used to say… it beats the alternative.

    I am slowly trying to get back to my happy self, but that is going to take some time. I have a new normal to get used to which is harder than I thought… and I never thought I would be here. I am seeing my doctor this afternoon, and I am going to ask about increasing my dosage of the antidepressants (which she said was likely going to happen after a month or so, which is about right on track). I hate being chemically dependent… but that is not the worst of my life right now, so I will live with it.

    I’ll see you tomorrow.