Losing a part of me

Category: Travel

  • Day 748

    I was disappointed this morning to see that I not only gained weight again but gained a substantial amount of it. I did not eat badly yesterday, and I jogged nearly thirty minutes. The things I can point to from yesterday that were not on my program were a roll for breakfast, an apple in the evening, a dark chocolate wafer that my master (Taekwondo before you ask) brought and insisted I try, and the eggrolls that I had with my dinner. I am going to cut the eggrolls down today and skip the apple and chocolate. I already ate my roll with breakfast.

    I am counting down the days until I get onto the airplane. If there are no delays, then I will be landing in Havana in three days and twenty-two hours. I do not want to think about what issues I might have but I am hoping for clear sailing from beginning to end. Here’s hoping!

    My sleep score last night was an amazing 85. According to my fitness watch I slept 7h 25m, and got plenty of deep sleep. I suspect that something was a little off on that, as I woke up around 7:30am, and I thought I was in bed much earlier than midnight. Oh well… even if I did go to sleep that late, I am not used to getting that much good sleep. It was the third night in a week in which my score was above 80, and with the exception of Friday night (which was a terrible night, although I cannot remember why) it has been 77 or higher every night. I am glad to be sleeping better… now if I can just stop eating and gaining weight!

    I have no plans to overeat today… although I suppose I seldom do. My goal is to stick to my program and drop a couple of these pesky pounds before I get onto the airplane. I could hardly believe when I saw the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning… I weigh nearly 270 lbs. again! I have to get off this rollercoaster and start dropping some of that. I do not want to do anything too extreme, but I also do not want my weight to creep above that terrible mark again.

    I ran less than I had planned to yesterday, but at a slightly faster pace. When I first started the treadmill – within the first fifteen seconds – I realized there was a sharp pain in my ankle. It was not an injury, but if I pushed myself, it could easily become one. I stopped the treadmill, spent a few minutes stretching it, and then started up again. I have been setting the pace to 4 mph (at a 3% incline). Within the first minute of my run, I pushed that up to 4.2 mph. I pulled up at 2 miles (I have been doing 3 miles) because I was worried about my ankle. I re-calibrated my fitness watch (which was nowhere near accurate) and called it a day. I will try to get a couple of miles in again today but will now be paying attention to both my knees and my ankle. Sigh. Getting old is not fun, but as my parents used to say… it beats the alternative.

    I am slowly trying to get back to my happy self, but that is going to take some time. I have a new normal to get used to which is harder than I thought… and I never thought I would be here. I am seeing my doctor this afternoon, and I am going to ask about increasing my dosage of the antidepressants (which she said was likely going to happen after a month or so, which is about right on track). I hate being chemically dependent… but that is not the worst of my life right now, so I will live with it.

    I’ll see you tomorrow.

  • Day 747

    Okay, repeat after me: I must stop buying breakfast cereal! If it was not for that then I might be okay today. As it is, I am up again. I ate too much of it last night and bang… all of the progress I made over the previous two days is gone. Today I will not cheat.

    My plans for today are to have my lunch, then spend an hour on the treadmill running. No matter what I do, I will still weigh at least 85 lbs. less than my last trip. That does not mean that I would not to lose a couple more pounds between now and Sunday. Hopefully I can make that happen. I might go to Costco as well because I want to take a supply of protein bars to Cuba with me. I have been told that the food situation there is not very good right now, and a buddy told me there is a really good one that they have on sale. If I do not go today then I will definitely go tomorrow.

    I spent the morning smoking a cigar with a friend in Grimsby. I then went to the bank and was home by 1:00pm. I did a few things that needed to be done and am now going to prepare my lunch. It is a beautiful day, so I might spend some time on the balcony after the treadmill and a shower. We’ll see.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 746

    I am usually very good at doing quick calculations such as miles to kilometres in my head, so I am not sure why I thought that when I hit three miles on the treadmill that would be 5km, but that is when I stopped my run yesterday. It was silly because I then had to calculate that 3mi is 4.83km so that I could properly calibrate my fitness watch. I will do another jog today to confirm that it worked – which would mean that if I ran 3.11mi I would hit my 5km. It is worth noting that according to my Garmin Connect page on my computer, despite my effort to calibrate the watch, yesterday’s treadmill run is still marked as a 5.83km run. I suppose maybe the calibration only takes effect after that run? It does not make any sense, but okay… I’ll see what it records today.

    I ate well yesterday, and my weight dropped nearly another half-pound this morning. While I am disappointed that it was not more of a drop, I should not be surprised. Yes, my horrible cheat-day a few days ago resulted in a nearly three-pound jump. No, I should not expect a couple of good days to reverse that completely. Yes, that has happened often enough… but I am a fifty-one-year-old man and I have to be realistic that my body will not always rebound as I would like it to.

    Speaking of my body rebounding: I was walking with Her Floofness this morning and felt an almost unnoticeable something in my knees. I should not be surprised… or maybe I should be surprised that it was so small. I will keep an eye on them over the next little while; I assume it is just my body reminding me that I am exercising again, and that it is normal to feel aches when working out.

    I have to go to have a test done today. I am going to do it after lunch but before I pick my housekeeper up from the train station. After that, she will be here for a few hours… and then the apartment will be tidy again.

    I guess that means I should think about eating an early lunch… or at least, early enough so that I can be at the clinic by 1pm. I made an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday, and I should have had this test done last week. Hopefully she will get the results in time. If not? Well, that’s life.

    I am trying to decide if You should bring my bathroom scale to Cuba or not. I will make that decision later… depending on how heavy my suitcase already is. I will not need as much space for my clothes as I once would have, but I am taking a lot of clothes to give to friends, and that will likely completely cram my suitcase. We’ll see when I am packed.

    Speaking of suitcases and Cuba… I remember the last time I left Cuba that one of my cigar tools was confiscated ‘for security reasons.’ In truth, it was because the kid scanning my carryon luggage wanted it for himself. (look up ‘Xikar 011 Twist Punch’ and you’ll see why I am so sure) In any event, I had best remember that when leaving the country, I pack anything even remotely possibly interesting in my checked luggage. I do not want a repeat performance!

    Okay, my lunch is in the air fryer. I would never eat this early, but when there are timing factors as there are today, I do what needs to be done. I do not want to eat later because I want my cleaning lady to completely clean the kitchen.

    Oh wow… it just occurred to me that I won’t have time to get on the treadmill until after she is gone. I guess I could do it while she is here, but then I will have to make sure I am decent both on my way to and from the shower. I’ll think about it.

    That is another thing I have been thinking about… I want to run when I am in Havana. I don’t know how much or how far, and I also know I plan to do a lot of walking while I am there. With that said, if I can do 5-10km jogging a couple of times then I will be a very happy man. We’ll see…

    See you tomorrow folks.

  • Day 745

    I booked my airfare yesterday and it is confirmed. One week from today I am waking up at way before the sun does and I am heading to the airport. I have never flown to Cuba through the US before and I do not know what to expect (what with them pulling me aside for in-depth inspection every time I fly into the country) but I do know that barring unforeseen changes or delays, I will be landing in Havana shortly after noon, and will be spending the next ten days in that wonderful city. I have been there dozens of times, but I do not know what to expect. I have heard so many terrible things about Cuba’s current situation, and I am worried about what I am going to find when I get there. I am hoping it is not as bad as some people are saying.

    While I was not great with my food intake yesterday, I was very good with my activity. I jogged 5km on the treadmill – my first full 5km jog without stopping or slowing to a walk in quite some time. I am going to try to do the same (or better) again today. I am not sure about the exact distance because of a discrepancy between my fitness watch and the treadmill, so I am going to figure out how to calibrate the two as well. However far I jogged, I spent 39 minutes running on the treadmill. The settings I use are a 3% incline and a pace of 4mph, so simple math tells me that I would be about 2.62 miles, which is only 4.22km. I guess I am not running as far as I thought. Today’s calibration should take care of that.

    After the massive gain from a couple of days ago, I am now down nearly a pound from Friday. If I can be disciplined today, then I should be able to lose another few ounces tomorrow morning. This may sound strange but knowing that I am planning to calibrate my watch will incentivize me to make sure I get in a good run this morning! Who knows? Maybe I will go longer than I have been going. I stopped running yesterday because my watch read 5km, but I probably could have gone another few minutes easily.

    Eduardo is coming over for a cigar in the afternoon. I am looking forward to seeing him. After that? I am thinking of doing some work on my computer… It has been acting weird, and I am thinking that wiping it and starting from scratch might be a fun project to get rid of gremlins and take my mind off things at the same time.

    Okay, I am going to change my outfit, then pull the treadmill down and hit the virtual trails. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 728

    It was a late-night arrival back home after a reasonably uneventful flight and a very easy trip through the airport and Uber ride home. Unpacking was tedious because I had a lot of things that had to be dealt with immediately and carefully. I also walked in the door to hear the beeping of my humidor telling me that it was thirsty, so even before I put more cigars in, I made sure to fix that. I was probably asleep by 2:00am.

    As for my weight on the trip, I got a pleasant surprise this morning. The first morning I weighed myself in Dallas I was three pounds up from the previous day. That number would play some weird games over the course of the trip, with yesterday’s weight about 1 lb. heavier than when I left. Today’s weight, almost 120 hours (5 days) to the minute after Saturday’s, has me .2 lb. up from when I left. That is much better than I had expected even before I left. That does not mean that I am going to take it for granted. I wrote yesterday that I plan to spend some time on the treadmill today, and I will. I don’t know when… the day is already getting away from me. Hopefully it will not be an entire loss.

    I am not sure if it is time, or the antidepressants that are starting to work… but I do not feel as absolutely shattered and hopeless today as I thought I would. The day is still young though.

  • Day 727

    My weight crept up again this morning. I am back above 265lbs., but only by a bit. As today is a travel day I do not have any great hopes for tomorrow morning, but I will make a point to step onto the treadmill tomorrow and try to work some of the trip away. I have a lot more than my weight to work off.

    As planned, I am at the lounge for the day. I will be here until about 3:30pm, at which point I will catch a ride to the airport. I will wait in the lounge and relax until my flight. Hopefully I will be smart and not enjoy too much of the offered food. I had a nice chat with some of the guys, I played some backgammon, and I am smoking a couple of really nice cigars. It is as good a way as I know to spend a quiet and relaxing few hours.

  • Day 726

    Okay, my weight crept up this morning, a little over a pound. I weigh a couple of ounces more than I did the morning I flew out. Although the food we ate yesterday was healthy, Leslie and I went out for dinner and I chose a dish that was extremely high in sodium – according to the site that I checked there might be as much as 4,300mg – which means that today I am retaining water. If I eat properly today, that weight should come off by tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is another travel day, and we all know that those are never good for me. With that said, my stated goal for the trip was to not gain more than a pound or two. It looks like I will be successful with that.

    In all likelihood, we will be picking up salads for lunch. I do not know what we will do for dinner, but I cannot imagine that either of us will want anything too heavy. It will be our last night together for a while, but that does not mean we have to go crazy. Both of us are trying to keep our weight down, and there are plenty of tasty meals that we can enjoy without killing that.

    My plans for today are to pack, do a little bit of work, and mostly stay close to home. There is not a lot of risk to my weight management routine in that, is there? There is a wind chill advisory for the morning and the temperature is currently 14°F (-10°C), but around noon the wind is forecast to die down, and by 2pm it should be much warmer (27°F, or -3°C). If the sun is out, then it will be perfect conditions to bundle up and sit out on the balcony with a cigar. I did that yesterday, and it felt wonderful until the sun started going down. If I start out a little earlier today (and not at 4:30pm, as was the case yesterday) then I should be in for a nice relaxing time.

  • Day 724

    Had yesterday gone according to plan I would have been at the airport by 3:45am for a 6:30am flight, and after spending a couple of idle hours at the airport I would have been in Dallas by 9:00am for a full day with Leslie. With the flight cancellation and delays the day went very differently than planned. I was at the airport at 1:30pm for a 5:15pm flight which ended up being delayed by a few hours, which means I landed before 11:00pm. By the time we got to the apartment it was time for bed. Thus, our first actual day together will be today.

    It did not surprise me one bit that my weight jumped up three pounds this morning. Travel days are always bad; travel days that have be sitting in the airport lounge for five hours with diminished self-control and an endless supply of cookies and other snacks will never end well. While I will not be strict with my diet this week, I do not plan to let myself go like I did yesterday. Hopefully a couple of those pounds will come off before I fly home Wednesday evening.

    When most people think of the weather in Texas, we do not expect cold and blustery. The fact that it is currently colder here than it is in Toronto, and that the temperatures are not predicted to rise above the freezing point until Wednesday, makes me wonder what exactly the 1400 miles of latitude are good for. There is little chance that Leslie and I will sit outside to enjoy a cigar at any point this trip, and the only place we will actually smoke is at my lounge. Okay, I can live with that. I am relieved though that there is no snow or ice forecast these next few days. I remember when I was here a year ago for the ice storm when everything shut down for three days – stores, restaurants, everything – and we were sequestered in the apartment with whatever supplies we had. At least if things are open we can get out… beyond walking the dog, which will be a cold endeavour that is no different than what Princess Sophie and I go through on a daily basis in the winter in Canada.

    I started my day with a cup of coffee, but I plan to make the same sort of breakfast that I would if I was at home. Hopefully that will be a good way to get back on track. Start with the basics, and a healthy breakfast.

  • Day 723

    Good morning readers! I am neither at the airport nor in Dallas, as yesterday’s sign-off promised. I woke up at 2:20am to get ready for my ride (which was scheduled to arrive at 3:00am) to find a message on my phone that my flight had been cancelled. It took me a few minutes to confirm that I was rebooked on a later flight this afternoon, check in for that flight, and send Leslie a text letting her know that she need not rush in the morning. I was back in bed at 2:42am, and asleep within five minutes. The unexpected upside to the flight cancelation is that I am well rested today and will not be arriving in Dallas in need of a nap. The downside is that the line at US Customs & Immigration is much shorter at 4:00am than it will be at 3:00pm… especially with flight cancelations. Oh well. Another downside is that I got the message less than an hour from my scheduled Uber pickup, so canceling cost me $20 plus tax. I really hope that goes to the driver, and not to the corporation.

    My weight dropped slightly this morning. After my weight peaked this week Wednesday morning at 269 lbs., it is now down to 264.4. While I am still about 26 lbs. heavier than my best weight ever, I am relieved to have been able to recover nearly five pounds in three days. I am also at my lowest weight since New Year’s Eve. These last two weeks have been emotional to say the least, and my work schedule has not given me time to exercise at all – at least, not since last Friday. I have taken Her Floofness out for a couple of walks every day, but that has been the extent of it.

    As I mentioned yesterday morning, my car battery died. At least I have jumper cables, right? Like most people who have them, my cables are in the trunk; while there is a keyhole to open the trunk, the key will not turn. Online forums are suggesting I spray silicon in it. If any of my neighbours have a can then I will try that. If not, then I will deal with it when I get back from Dallas. I do not really need my car today (although I had briefly considered driving to the airport and parking my car there), but if I can easily get into my trunk then I will boost the battery today. If not, then I might as well deal with it when I am back from my trip. Even if I did boost the battery, I would not drive to the airport now. The thought of getting to my car near midnight Wednesday in the cold, only to find that the battery was dead again does not appeal to me.

    As I had not car, I decided to walk to the supermarket this morning. I did not buy much, but as I was not eating breakfast at the airport as planned my options were to either buy breakfast food or go out for breakfast. I did the prudent thing and bought eggs. Having to walk would not have been a deciding factor – I would have had to walk either to the supermarket or to the restaurant. I know that eating out is almost always bad for my diet, and that I will be eating badly enough at the airport… even if I eat well in Dallas.

    So here I sit, waiting for my laundry to dry, writing my morning missive. I took advantage of the time at home to do a load of sheets and towels – I had already washed the rest of my clothes in advance of packing for the trip – and will make my bed so that when I get home late at night on Wednesday (more likely early morning Thursday) I will at least get into a bed made with fresh linen. I just reserved my Uber to pick me up at 1:00pm, which will give me over 3.5 hours at the airport. Yes, that is a long time to wait. Knowing that the terminal (and especially US Clearance) might be a mob scene, I have no problem with that. If I get through it all quickly then I will spend the time relaxing in the First-Class Lounge; if it is a long wait to get through, then at least I will still make my flight. In the meantime, I am going to knock on my neighbour’s door to see if she has any WD-40 to get into my trunk. I will also take that opportunity to see my favourite puppy who is spending a few days with her.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Day 722

    My weight was down another couple of pounds this morning. While it is not what I was hoping to be at for my trip to Dallas (which begins tomorrow morning), it is now four pounds down over the last couple of days. While I was on the brink of hitting the dreaded 270 lbs. mark, I am back to 265… terrible for where I was a couple of months ago, but better than where I was just a few days ago.

    Tomorrow morning I am getting up ridiculously early to head to the airport. I was on the fence about whether I should take an Uber or drive. When I went down to my car this morning to drive to the store before class started, I discovered my battery was dead, which means that unless I get a boost today that decision has been made for me. We’ll see… I might try to get a boost, and still take the Uber. With the luggage it is easier to be dropped at (and then picked up from) the terminal, rather than having to schlep.

    See you tomorrow… either from the airport or from Dallas.