Losing a part of me

Category: Travel

  • Day 721

    After too many days of slight gains, it was a relief to see a significant drop on the bathroom scale this morning. I was dangerously close to the 270 lbs. mark which is not where I want to be. I am going to try to do today what I did yesterday… with one exception.

    What is it, you ask, that I did yesterday different from recent days? For one thing, I had a meal replacement shake for lunch. I did not do this for weight management but rather for time management… I thought I had a lunchtime meeting, so I made the shake so as to be able to participate in the meeting. I sat in the empty Zoom room for thirty minutes before realizing I was a day off on my timing – the meeting is today. Okay, so I will have a meal replacement for lunch again today; maybe I will like what I see on the bathroom scale again tomorrow morning.

    I am going to have to go shopping this afternoon between my afternoon and evening class. While I think I have enough to eat for today and tomorrow (and am flying to Dallas very early Saturday morning), I also know that I am flying home late Wednesday evening, and if I do not shop before I leave then I will not have eggs in the house for breakfast on Thursday… which will be a good excuse to go out to eat at a restaurant. I would rather not have that temptation.

    I’ll see you all tomorrow.

  • Day 655

    I flew back to Canada last night. I probably ate a little more than I should have, what with a (very) late lunch in the Business Class Lounge, and then the kosher dinner on the airplane. I arrived home after midnight dejected and depressed, but also feeling bloated. The last couple of days have not gone well for me at all. I am not going to go into any detail.

    I did not expect to see so significant a weight gain this morning as I did, but I suppose the overeating yesterday, coupled with the stress and anxiety (including the travel) and I should not be surprised to see a 3.5 lb. jump from Saturday morning. I am now 8 lbs. heavier than my best weight ever. I need to get back on track, but this week and next the prospect of exercise is next to none.

    As I had planned I went shopping at lunch and picked up provisions for the week, and because I would not have time to shop and prepare then eat lunch I decided to buy a sushi plate from the prepared food counter. It was good but I was not really into it. I did need the calories though, otherwise there was no way I was going to make it through the day. I will make chicken for dinner that I will eat between classes. It’s going to be two weeks of very long days. We’ll see how I handle it.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 654

    Life is not good. I will continue to pray that I can make the changes that I need to. More tomorrow. Flying back to Canada now.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 653

    I knew my weight would be slightly up this morning and I am not the least bit sorry. As a cheat-treat, and to put a big smile on her son’s face, Leslie and I decided to order pizza for dinner last night. Yes, I wrote in these very pages yesterday morning that we would be cheating, and I do not regret it. In truth, I am surprised that the numbers on the bathroom scale were only up by .4 lb. I will take it and call it a win.

    This afternoon we are going to an entertainment complex where we will probably be feeding the boy. I will do my best to not eat there for a number of reasons: I am trying to not gain any more weight during this trip than I already have, but also I know from experience that it is extremely difficult to keep kosher at those places. I will probably put a handful of peanuts into my pocket before we leave home and will nibble on those if I need it. I do not know what we will be doing for dinner, but I can assume that it won’t be very diet friendly. That’s okay… as of this morning I weigh a little less than 1.5 lbs. more than I did the day I flew to Texas; I had expected to gain up to 5 lbs., and that is clearly not going to happen. I will still not go nuts, but if I have one more cheat meal (and then my travel day, which usually adds a pound as well) then I will still be well within my goals for this trip.

    I have not gotten any walking done during this trip. I will not have the opportunity this coming week either, owing to my ridiculous schedule. I do not know what the weather will be in Canada next weekend, but I suspect I might have to start making regular trips to the gym if I do not want to fall off the working out wagon. I will still try to walk if the weather is nice, but November in Canada is not always conducive to outdoor activities. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 648

    I was relieved (and quite surprised) to step onto the bathroom scale this morning and be up one pound. Of course, I always want my weight to be down, but after our long weekend in Houston – during which I essentially took four days off of my diet – I expected the jump would be closer to five pounds. No, I was only 1 lb. up from Wednesday. I call that a win.

    I am going to try to be back on track today. It is my only long day of work – that is to say I am teaching from 8:00am to 8:00pm – of the week, and of this trip. I would be relieved that from tomorrow on I will be able to just relax, but a friend of mine asked me to go look at his mother-in-law’s computer while I am in Dallas… while neglecting to mention (until I happily agreed) that she actually lives in Fort Worth. Okay, I have one more long day of work! I’ll survive. Wednesday through Sunday I will be able to spend time during the day relaxing, catching up, and doing whatever it is that I want to do – including smoking a cigar or two – while only teaching for a few hours in the evening Wednesday and Friday. My wife and I will be able to spend time between her meetings. Ahh, the simple pleasures of life!

    If I am to get back on track, I am going to try to eat well. I will likely prepare a chicken breast for lunch, and I might just skip dinner, opting for a light snack instead. We will see how the day goes. What is certain is that I will not be letting myself go as far off the program as I did these last four days. While I am relieved that I did not gain more weight than I did, I also know that if I continue this way then I will continue to lose ground… slowly, but that’s how it always starts. I am getting back on track! I may only have gained a pound in Houston, but I have to remember that I am up nearly six pounds these last ten days and am a full 6.8 lbs. up from my best weight ever… less than two weeks ago. It is time to stop the slide and to get back on track. Hopefully that starts today. I hope that by the time I fly back to Canada on Sunday I am less than five pounds from my best weight ever.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 645

    Once again, my plans for eating well did not go exactly as planned yesterday, nor did I skip the buffet this morning. I am trying to enjoy my life. I did not go off the deep end, but I did not stay on track. As I mentioned yesterday, I am hoping that this four-day weekend in Houston does not derail me too badly.

    I have another long day of teaching today, and then… that’s it! Leslie and I will have a bite to eat and then go to a local bar to enjoy a cigar. We had an amazing time at the event last night, but this evening will not be so structured. We might go back to the same place (it is truly a great lounge) but without the event. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 644

    We arrived at our hotel safe and sound, and despite some minor issues (mostly to do with the Internet) there were no real hassles, and we were asleep before 1:00am. That may sound reasonable, but the 6:05am alarm I had set tells another story. Fortunately I am used to that life (even though I don’t really live it anymore) and am able to function quite well on five hours of sleep.

    My diet program is going to be on hold for a few days. That is not to say that I am going to go overboard splurging, but I am not going to pay attention to everything I put into my mouth. This morning I did not have as much time as I would have liked, and the options for breakfast were not great. I splurged on the buffet, which included an omelette, a bagel, and some fruit. I will try not to do the buffet again while we are here. It is just to tempting to ‘try to get my money’s worth.’ I cannot think like that anymore!

    We did not bring the bathroom scale with us so my next morning weigh-in will be Monday morning. If I can stay under 248 lbs. (which would mean a 3-pound gain over the next four) then I will call it a victory.

    (For my Facebook support group)

    I grew! I am two inches taller because of my weight loss! Okay, that is not exactly true… but it could be! The story:

    A couple of years after I got out of the Army, when I was gaining huge amounts of weight unchecked, I acted in a play. The wardrobe guy (I have been trying to remember the proper term) was fitting me for pants and he said ‘Oh right… fat people wear their pants under the belly. Normal people wear them up around their waists.’ Screw you, buddy. I never forgot that…

    After losing 150 pounds (and twenty-five years after that hurtful comment) I decided to try it… I have been buying pants with a 30” length for all these years. When I pulled them up to fasten my belt around my waist, they fit… but my ankles were cold. At least people could see my fun socks!

    I ordered a new pair of pants last week – with a 36” waist – and decided to try an experiment. I ordered 36×32. I put them on yesterday morning and… they fit perfectly! I was equally worried that the 36” waist would not fit comfortably as the 32” length, but both were perfect. I am so excited and am going to order a couple more pair… and when I get back to Canada, I am going to do another purge to deliver more clothes that no longer fit me to the charity drop-off!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 643

    After speaking with my wife last night I made a decision. I have adjusted my weight goal on the app that ties to my scale. I am feeling so much better about myself than I have in so many years, and while I think I still have a little way to go, I also recognize that I want to be slim, but not sickly thin. With that, my new weight loss goal is 210 lbs., both for my well-being and for a number of other reasons.

    I had a stressful day yesterday and I did eat (and snack) a little more than I should have. I was a bit concerned about the numbers, but sure enough (after a half decent bowel movement) I had lost .6 lb. from yesterday morning. I am not back to where I was before my stumble began, but I have always said that down is better than up. I will call it a win!

    I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that now that I am wearing my pants around my waist and not around my belly there is a significant difference in the length. For decades I have bought pants in a 30” length. Since changing to the waist I have been showing off a lot more sock than I used to. Late last week I ordered my first pair of pants that were a 36×32… the smaller waist and the longer leg. They arrived at Leslie’s mailbox on Friday and were here when I arrived. I was afraid to try them on – not because of the length, but because of the 36” waist. I know I have a couple of pair in that waist that do fit, but I have several others that do not. This morning I tried them on. Lo and behold… they fit perfectly! I was (and am) so excited about that!

    One more thing that I realized a while ago was that my underwear has been much looser than it could be. I ordered several new pair, some of which arrived Monday. For the first time in I don’t know how long I am wearing Size Large! It has been so many years since I have worn anything that was not XL (or XXL or XXXL…) and it really feels great to be able to order some things in regular sizes. I am not going to say that I am over the moon about underwear, but it is a nice feeling to know that I can wear normal sizes.

    Today will be a very long day. I am teaching from 8:00am to 8:00pm, and then we are driving to Houston (probably a 4-hour drive). When we get to the hotel, I am sure we will both be ready to collapse into bed immediately! My workday tomorrow begins at 8:00am again, although it is mercifully much shorter. In the evening we are going to the Davidoff event at the Blend Bar – the entire purpose for our trip to Houston, and the reason behind the timing of this trip. Yes, there will be fatigue, and the anxiety of working from a hotel room, but it will be worth it. We will look like a million bucks together as we enjoy our event… and our weekend away together.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 641

    I did not expect to gain quite so much weight this morning. Yes, I was bad. Yes, it was a travel day. Yes, I had a bagel at the airport, then breakfast on the airplane, and then sushi for lunch… and it kept going on and on… I was not expecting to see a 3.2 lbs. gain on the bathroom scale this morning. I deserved nothing less though, considering how many lapses I had throughout the day.

    I arrived safe in Dallas of course, and aside from seeing Leslie and her son, I also finally got to meet Her Floofness in Training, Duchess! Our puppy is gorgeous and adorable and she loves me very much. Yay!

    I am teaching all day today and I will do better than I did yesterday. Leslie is bringing us salads from our favourite place for both lunch and supper. I ate an omelette for breakfast, and one protein ball that she made (which was delicious and cannot actually be low carb!). I will stick to that. Tomorrow morning the numbers on the scale will be down again. I promise.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 640

    I have no idea how it happened. I checked to make sure my alarm was set for 3:00am. I even set a secondary alarm for 3:05am. I had trouble falling asleep and do not think I nodded off until nearly midnight, so it was unlikely that I would wake up refreshed… but I would wake up because of the two very loud alarms that I set.

    Neither alarm went off.

    I looked at my watch to make sure I still had some time before I had to get up… it was 4:28am. I scrambled like I have not scrambled since I was in the Army. Before I even put my feet on the floor I ordered a new Uber (I missed the one that was supposed to get me to the airport in plenty of time… an hour before I woke up). By some miracle there was a car four minutes away. I brushed my teeth as I peed, weighed myself, got dressed in a very big hurry, and was out the door precisely 5 minutes after I woke up.

    Not to keep you in suspense, I made my flight. Despite getting to the airport over an hour after I had planned to, I was able to check my bags, get through Airport Security, get through US Border Control (with the usual secondary inspection) with plenty of time to spare. I even had time to make myself a coffee in the American Airlines lounge. As I type this I am comfortably seated on the airplane, and we are getting ready to push back from the gate.

    Yesterday went about as planned. I did cheat a little bit, but not too bad. I forgot to take a meal replacement with me when I left the apartment to pick Lyle up for the drive to Cambridge. Knowing I did not want to be tempted by the usual goodies at Ryan’s place, I decided to stop and pick up some peanuts. I also had a few (six) cheese puffs at Ryan’s, which has precisely zero redeeming features. I did not even enjoy them. Hopefully I will remember that the next time I am tempted.

    Dinner was a very lovely steak. Lyle (a master chef) prepared a potato salad which he brought with us, and Ryan prepared a tomato and onion mix. I would have eschewed the potato salad if it had been prepared by anyone else, but I could not resist. I did not overindulge, but I did have a helping of it.

    My weight this morning was exactly what it was yesterday. That comes as no surprise to me – the combination of the cheats and the fact that I do not usually weigh myself at 4:31am made me suspect I would lose ground. While I was originally hoping to fly to Dallas under the 240 lbs. mark, I will have to settle for (and try to be happy with) staying under 242.

    As we fly somewhere over the Great Lakes I see the flight attendant preparing to being my kosher breakfast so I’ll close here and wish you all have a great day!