Losing a part of me

Blog

  • Day 724

    Had yesterday gone according to plan I would have been at the airport by 3:45am for a 6:30am flight, and after spending a couple of idle hours at the airport I would have been in Dallas by 9:00am for a full day with Leslie. With the flight cancellation and delays the day went very differently than planned. I was at the airport at 1:30pm for a 5:15pm flight which ended up being delayed by a few hours, which means I landed before 11:00pm. By the time we got to the apartment it was time for bed. Thus, our first actual day together will be today.

    It did not surprise me one bit that my weight jumped up three pounds this morning. Travel days are always bad; travel days that have be sitting in the airport lounge for five hours with diminished self-control and an endless supply of cookies and other snacks will never end well. While I will not be strict with my diet this week, I do not plan to let myself go like I did yesterday. Hopefully a couple of those pounds will come off before I fly home Wednesday evening.

    When most people think of the weather in Texas, we do not expect cold and blustery. The fact that it is currently colder here than it is in Toronto, and that the temperatures are not predicted to rise above the freezing point until Wednesday, makes me wonder what exactly the 1400 miles of latitude are good for. There is little chance that Leslie and I will sit outside to enjoy a cigar at any point this trip, and the only place we will actually smoke is at my lounge. Okay, I can live with that. I am relieved though that there is no snow or ice forecast these next few days. I remember when I was here a year ago for the ice storm when everything shut down for three days – stores, restaurants, everything – and we were sequestered in the apartment with whatever supplies we had. At least if things are open we can get out… beyond walking the dog, which will be a cold endeavour that is no different than what Princess Sophie and I go through on a daily basis in the winter in Canada.

    I started my day with a cup of coffee, but I plan to make the same sort of breakfast that I would if I was at home. Hopefully that will be a good way to get back on track. Start with the basics, and a healthy breakfast.

  • Day 723

    Good morning readers! I am neither at the airport nor in Dallas, as yesterday’s sign-off promised. I woke up at 2:20am to get ready for my ride (which was scheduled to arrive at 3:00am) to find a message on my phone that my flight had been cancelled. It took me a few minutes to confirm that I was rebooked on a later flight this afternoon, check in for that flight, and send Leslie a text letting her know that she need not rush in the morning. I was back in bed at 2:42am, and asleep within five minutes. The unexpected upside to the flight cancelation is that I am well rested today and will not be arriving in Dallas in need of a nap. The downside is that the line at US Customs & Immigration is much shorter at 4:00am than it will be at 3:00pm… especially with flight cancelations. Oh well. Another downside is that I got the message less than an hour from my scheduled Uber pickup, so canceling cost me $20 plus tax. I really hope that goes to the driver, and not to the corporation.

    My weight dropped slightly this morning. After my weight peaked this week Wednesday morning at 269 lbs., it is now down to 264.4. While I am still about 26 lbs. heavier than my best weight ever, I am relieved to have been able to recover nearly five pounds in three days. I am also at my lowest weight since New Year’s Eve. These last two weeks have been emotional to say the least, and my work schedule has not given me time to exercise at all – at least, not since last Friday. I have taken Her Floofness out for a couple of walks every day, but that has been the extent of it.

    As I mentioned yesterday morning, my car battery died. At least I have jumper cables, right? Like most people who have them, my cables are in the trunk; while there is a keyhole to open the trunk, the key will not turn. Online forums are suggesting I spray silicon in it. If any of my neighbours have a can then I will try that. If not, then I will deal with it when I get back from Dallas. I do not really need my car today (although I had briefly considered driving to the airport and parking my car there), but if I can easily get into my trunk then I will boost the battery today. If not, then I might as well deal with it when I am back from my trip. Even if I did boost the battery, I would not drive to the airport now. The thought of getting to my car near midnight Wednesday in the cold, only to find that the battery was dead again does not appeal to me.

    As I had not car, I decided to walk to the supermarket this morning. I did not buy much, but as I was not eating breakfast at the airport as planned my options were to either buy breakfast food or go out for breakfast. I did the prudent thing and bought eggs. Having to walk would not have been a deciding factor – I would have had to walk either to the supermarket or to the restaurant. I know that eating out is almost always bad for my diet, and that I will be eating badly enough at the airport… even if I eat well in Dallas.

    So here I sit, waiting for my laundry to dry, writing my morning missive. I took advantage of the time at home to do a load of sheets and towels – I had already washed the rest of my clothes in advance of packing for the trip – and will make my bed so that when I get home late at night on Wednesday (more likely early morning Thursday) I will at least get into a bed made with fresh linen. I just reserved my Uber to pick me up at 1:00pm, which will give me over 3.5 hours at the airport. Yes, that is a long time to wait. Knowing that the terminal (and especially US Clearance) might be a mob scene, I have no problem with that. If I get through it all quickly then I will spend the time relaxing in the First-Class Lounge; if it is a long wait to get through, then at least I will still make my flight. In the meantime, I am going to knock on my neighbour’s door to see if she has any WD-40 to get into my trunk. I will also take that opportunity to see my favourite puppy who is spending a few days with her.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Day 722

    My weight was down another couple of pounds this morning. While it is not what I was hoping to be at for my trip to Dallas (which begins tomorrow morning), it is now four pounds down over the last couple of days. While I was on the brink of hitting the dreaded 270 lbs. mark, I am back to 265… terrible for where I was a couple of months ago, but better than where I was just a few days ago.

    Tomorrow morning I am getting up ridiculously early to head to the airport. I was on the fence about whether I should take an Uber or drive. When I went down to my car this morning to drive to the store before class started, I discovered my battery was dead, which means that unless I get a boost today that decision has been made for me. We’ll see… I might try to get a boost, and still take the Uber. With the luggage it is easier to be dropped at (and then picked up from) the terminal, rather than having to schlep.

    See you tomorrow… either from the airport or from Dallas.

  • Day 721

    After too many days of slight gains, it was a relief to see a significant drop on the bathroom scale this morning. I was dangerously close to the 270 lbs. mark which is not where I want to be. I am going to try to do today what I did yesterday… with one exception.

    What is it, you ask, that I did yesterday different from recent days? For one thing, I had a meal replacement shake for lunch. I did not do this for weight management but rather for time management… I thought I had a lunchtime meeting, so I made the shake so as to be able to participate in the meeting. I sat in the empty Zoom room for thirty minutes before realizing I was a day off on my timing – the meeting is today. Okay, so I will have a meal replacement for lunch again today; maybe I will like what I see on the bathroom scale again tomorrow morning.

    I am going to have to go shopping this afternoon between my afternoon and evening class. While I think I have enough to eat for today and tomorrow (and am flying to Dallas very early Saturday morning), I also know that I am flying home late Wednesday evening, and if I do not shop before I leave then I will not have eggs in the house for breakfast on Thursday… which will be a good excuse to go out to eat at a restaurant. I would rather not have that temptation.

    I’ll see you all tomorrow.

  • Day 720

    I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I am nearly up to 270 lbs.; I am going to get back on my program for a week or two when I get back from Dallas next week.

    It would be nice to have some time today to get onto the treadmill; alas, I am working from 8:00am to 11:00pm with a lunch break (during which I have a meeting) and a dinner break (during which I have to eat) and will not have time. The entire week is like this, and I can’t help but wish there were more hours in the day.

    At the end of my class last night, I took Her Floofness for a walk and then sat on the balcony with a cigar. I was exhausted, but I was also wound up. I selected a shorter cigar, and truth be told I did not really enjoy it… I just enjoyed relaxing and not doing anything.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 719

    I had a conversation with my wife this weekend about my weight. I realize now that I have to balance what weight I am comfortable being at with what she likes. No, she did not tell me that I need to regain all of my weight. When I told her that I have gained back nearly thirty pounds since my best weight ever she was not upset. I think what I am going to do is find a weight range that I am truly comfortable with and try to stay there. The range that I have in mind is from 235-245 lbs., which is about where I was when I was last in Dallas. I am a ways away from that range and need to get back on track so that I can get back down there. I do not like that some of my new clothes are starting to feel tight on me. I am leaving for Dallas on Saturday (today is Tuesday) and I will be there for only five days. When I get back to Canada, I am going to try to go back on my program for a couple of weeks to kickstart my weight loss again. I am also going to spend more time on the treadmill, which this week is difficult because of my unusually busy schedule.

    See you tomorrow!

  • Day 718

    It was a long day. I will try to write tomorrow, but the entire week looks to be long days. It’s a good thing that I enjoy my work!

  • Day 717

    It was a very busy day. I’ll write tomorrow.

  • Day 716

    I have a mostly lazy day ahead of me, but I am going to try to do some work on the computer, and then in the evening I might be seeing a friend. We’ll see.

  • Day 715

    Once again, the day is almost over and I am only now sitting down to write in my journal. It was a mostly productive day though, so I am not upset about it. I took Her Floofness for her morning walk and then went about my day, eating mostly normally. I had a cigar date on the balcony, and then ate a late lunch. After lunch I got onto the treadmill for a very quick-paced 5km walk, which I felt really good for doing. I think it is time for me to cancel my gym membership once and for all. Okay, I might hit the sauna once more before I do that.