Losing a part of me

Blog

  • Day 745

    I booked my airfare yesterday and it is confirmed. One week from today I am waking up at way before the sun does and I am heading to the airport. I have never flown to Cuba through the US before and I do not know what to expect (what with them pulling me aside for in-depth inspection every time I fly into the country) but I do know that barring unforeseen changes or delays, I will be landing in Havana shortly after noon, and will be spending the next ten days in that wonderful city. I have been there dozens of times, but I do not know what to expect. I have heard so many terrible things about Cuba’s current situation, and I am worried about what I am going to find when I get there. I am hoping it is not as bad as some people are saying.

    While I was not great with my food intake yesterday, I was very good with my activity. I jogged 5km on the treadmill – my first full 5km jog without stopping or slowing to a walk in quite some time. I am going to try to do the same (or better) again today. I am not sure about the exact distance because of a discrepancy between my fitness watch and the treadmill, so I am going to figure out how to calibrate the two as well. However far I jogged, I spent 39 minutes running on the treadmill. The settings I use are a 3% incline and a pace of 4mph, so simple math tells me that I would be about 2.62 miles, which is only 4.22km. I guess I am not running as far as I thought. Today’s calibration should take care of that.

    After the massive gain from a couple of days ago, I am now down nearly a pound from Friday. If I can be disciplined today, then I should be able to lose another few ounces tomorrow morning. This may sound strange but knowing that I am planning to calibrate my watch will incentivize me to make sure I get in a good run this morning! Who knows? Maybe I will go longer than I have been going. I stopped running yesterday because my watch read 5km, but I probably could have gone another few minutes easily.

    Eduardo is coming over for a cigar in the afternoon. I am looking forward to seeing him. After that? I am thinking of doing some work on my computer… It has been acting weird, and I am thinking that wiping it and starting from scratch might be a fun project to get rid of gremlins and take my mind off things at the same time.

    Okay, I am going to change my outfit, then pull the treadmill down and hit the virtual trails. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 744

    Yesterday was another bad day… but at least my overeating was in the afternoon, and I was done by 5:30pm; the previous day it had been in the evening and is why I gained so much weight. I dropped a very small amount this morning but down is always better than up.

    One of the cigar groups that I am a member of is having an event this evening so I will drive up there for a few hours. I still need to occupy my mind which has been racing off the charts the last week. I might need to ask my doctor to increase the dosage on one of my medications. We will see. In the meantime, I did not sleep enough last night… but according to my fitness watch I did sleep deeply. If only I could fall asleep and stay asleep.

    Today is another day, another struggle. Hopefully I’ll get through it mostly unscathed with regard to my eating.

  • Day 743

    I fell off the wagon again yesterday. I have to stop doing that! All of the weight that I had shed from yesterday is back.

  • Day 742

    After my weight did not drop at all yesterday, I thought that I might try to adjust my eating. That did not happen though, and I ate the same as I had the previous day – an omelet with the last of my rolls for breakfast, and then in the late afternoon I had my usual chicken with a couple of spring rolls (all air-fried). I ate nothing after 5:30pm, despite slight hunger pangs in the evening before bed. I was asleep much earlier than normal – for the first time in a few weeks I was asleep before 11:00pm, and despite getting up twice in the night to pee (which I had not been doing lately), I slept a full eight hours. According to my fitness watch, my sleep score has been between 79 and 87 every night this past week (except for Sunday, when I hardly slept – see Day 739). I am still extremely down about what is going on in my life, but at least I am starting to sleep better.

    All of this to say that while I did not lose the entirety of the weight that I gained two days ago, I did drop most of it. Phew! I hope to be able to continue that trend tomorrow.

    I was originally supposed to be teaching yesterday, today, and tomorrow. For reasons that have nothing to do with me each was canceled, giving me three days of paid work that are essentially days off. I still spent much of yesterday preparing for the classes because today and tomorrow were not cancelled until late yesterday afternoon, but today I get to breathe.

    Speaking of room to breathe, I am thinking seriously about taking off for a week or ten days. I might head down to Cuba for an escape from reality. It has been nearly two years since I was last there, and I miss my friends… and I have too many things rattling through my head that I need to figure out how to clear. I am going to ask a couple of buddies if they want to come along. Hopefully it will be fun.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 741

    I ate much better yesterday (and much less) than I had the previous day, and was surprised to see no drop on the bathroom scale. My weight did not go up, but it did not drop either. Groan. I’ll try to do well again today, and then hopefully I will see positive results tomorrow.

  • Day 740

    Yesterday turned into another ‘off the cliff’ day. I have no idea why I went so crazy with fruit and nuts and dumplings and breads… but I did. I will have to make sure I do better today. The numbers on the bathroom scale this morning were a shock… a four-pound jump? That will teach me to go nuts on carbohydrates… especially later in the evening.

    Today will be better. I hope. I try.

    I’ll tell you tomorrow.

  • Day 739

    My weight was the same this morning as it was yesterday morning. This was likely owing to a combination of two factors:

    1) The friend whose house I was at yesterday made an amazing beef sandwich on fresh Italian bread; and

    2) Princess Sophie got me up before I really wanted to get up because she was frantically asking to go outside. When a doggie tells you it is important, you should listen. I did not really feel the need to move my bowels (although I likely would have been able to) so I cut that corner in the rush to take her outside… thus weighing myself without doing so.

    I hardly slept at all last night. Aside from the sandwich, my buddy also made us an espresso. This was just an all-around bad idea at 7:00pm, but I was thinking more about the football game we were watching. I will try to not make that mistake again. The consequence of that is that I am working on about four hours of sleep… after two great nights, last night was the pits. Oh well. Tonight will be better.

    I took Her Floofness to the doctor today, and she was such a good girl (as she always is). When I brought her home she insisted on going to the neighbour’s apartment… even though after her vaccinations she will likely be asleep all afternoon. I wish I was! I had to go shopping, and then came home to make lunch. I have a lot of work to do, and I am going to shower and then sit on the balcony reading (to prepare for my upcoming classes.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 738

    I am feeling somewhat better today than I did yesterday. I did a lot of work yesterday evening and am planning to do more tonight. With that said, I am taking it easy for most of the day. I am likely going to see some friends and relax with a cigar.

    I was relieved that my weight was down significantly this morning. Yesterday’s jump of over 1.5 lbs. really bothered me; I was relieved that I dropped it all and a bit more this morning. I suspect that is due more to when I ate than what because I probably overindulged on the air-fried appetizers again. I ate the last of them yesterday and am not going to buy any more for the time being.

    I’ll see you all tomorrow.

  • Day 737

    It has been a pretty lazy day. I was really not feeling well last night so I went to bed early. I slept in late as well. At first I thought that I was just overtired, but no… I think I have a bug.

  • Day 736

    My weight was back up again this morning, which was disappointing but not surprising. I don’t know why I felt the need or even the desire to devour so much yogurt yesterday evening. Despite another 5km run on the treadmill, I still paid the price for my overindulgence.

    I have not been feeling well today. I got through it, but I am going to bed early.