Losing a part of me

Yesterday would have been a good day… had I not had pumpkin seeds to put on my salad. I do not think the seeds on the salad were the problem, but the fact that I devoured the rest during my evening break was. I must have added 300 calories to my daily total… not to mention that I had two pieces of chicken rather than one. While I still don’t trust the scale, it was up 1.6 lbs from yesterday morning. That is not good.

This morning, after her daily walk, I drove Princess Sophie to Nathalie’s house. Nathalie answered my ad when I was looking for a dog walker (after I broke my ankle), and my little girl likes her. I am off to Montreal for the weekend, and it seems that she intimidated Isolina’s cat on our last visit, and thus is not welcome there. The thought of Princess Sophie intimidating anyone is pure comedy, but my choices were either to bring her to Montreal and stay somewhere else (I could not easily find anyone willing this close to the weekend), not go to Montreal, or put her up with Nathalie. Tonight will be the first night since we were reunited that she is not sleeping in my bed… at least for a few minutes. I’m not going to lie; I am a bit emotional having left her. It will only be for a few days though, and we will be back together Monday.

Speaking of Montreal, this will be a challenging weekend for the weight loss program. I will take my shakes with me, and I will do my best to not veer from the program. It is easier to maintain a hybrid program when I am home alone; staying with friends (and visiting with others) I would be relying on their cooperation with the dietary needs, and I am not going to put anyone through that. Rather than trying to explain to them what I need, I will simply stick to the meal replacements. Esti (my father’s widow) and I might order chicken for lunch, but I will have the rotisserie chicken only – no side dishes.

Last night I was speaking with my diet buddy, and I told her I was going to Montreal, and she started to talk very fondly about some of the foods that city has to offer. If you were unaware, it is a truly culinary gem, with some of the best restaurants in North America (including the midrange ones). The deli, the bagels… I shut her down and asked her to not remind me. I told her that upon my return, we can discuss them… before the trip it was a bad idea. I did not want to be reminded ahead of time of all the easily accessed foods that I could cheat with. It will be hard enough to stay on track as it is.

My goal for the weekend: Stay the course. Don’t eat anything that is not planned; stick to my shakes when possible and drink a lot of water. I will also be smoking a few cigars with my friends, which will be a nice distraction. I also plan to visit my father’s gravesite. That is always an emotional time for me, but it is also a son’s obligation. It has been nearly ten months since I got that terrible phone call, and I still miss him terribly.

Okay… time to pack up (computer, clothes, and cigars) and hit the road. Had I been better organized, I would have been ready to hit the road as soon as I dropped Princess Sophie off, but I had a choice… I decided to relax and not stress, and not delay her morning ritual of going out as soon as I’m dressed. My morning ritual has evolved into coming home from her walk, making my coffee and my shake, and writing in my journal. If accountability is going to be such a large part of my success, then I wanted to write about yesterday’s failures… before I hit the road.

See you tomorrow!