Losing a part of me

We are not yet at next week, but I hope nonetheless that I am in a better frame of mind today than I was yesterday. I know the work that I still have to do today, and while there is a deadline, I am nonetheless back on track to complete the task before the hard deadline. I am at my desk slightly earlier than I might otherwise be, were I not burdened with completing this assignment before day’s end. Otherwise, this morning is similar to most.

I was surprised, when I checked the temperature and forecast this morning, to see that it was 1°C outside. It is not bitterly cold, but it is certainly cold enough that I pulled my ski jacket out, rather than my spring jacket that I have worn the last week. I decided that I would wear my older ski jacket, and not the one that I purchased at the beginning of this past winter. I wanted to prove to myself that I was not imagining that the smaller jacket fit. It does. I zipped it against the wind, and I was more than comfortable in it… even though it is still snug. That is to be expected, of course… but at the beginning of next season I hope it will not be so.

I wrote yesterday evening that I was not sated by my smaller meals, and that I indulged in two extra meal-replacement bars throughout the day. I will adjust my portions accordingly today, in hope that I will have no need to do so again. While there may be little difference in calories between the larger meal and the meal replacement bars, the lunchtime meal starts to digest earlier, and… well, we will see.

The bathroom scale (I am not going to start referring to it as the bedroom scale, despite its recent relocation) gave me three different readings today. Unlike past times, when these might be many pounds different, today’s three readings were all very similar – the three separated by 4/10ths of a pound. In the end, I settled for the middle reading, which has me up 2/10ths of a pound from yesterday. I know, I cannot be impatient. I also have to trust that despite all of these maddening daily ups and downs, I have been consistently down on my fortnightly weigh-ins at the doctor’s office. Those are the ones that really matter, right?

Two weeks from today I will be waking up next to Leslie in Cuba for the first time. That means, of course, that she is arriving here in under two weeks. I am very excited – I really miss her. I love our long video chats, but it is not the same as being able to hold her in my arms. Friends who know we are going are asking if I am excited to be going back to Cuba after all this time. After all, this has been the longest span of time that I have not been in many years. Yes, I am excited… but I am so much more excited for going with Leslie. I am excited to share with her a gorgeous beach vacation where we can relax and enjoy ourselves… without any stress or aggravation or work.

While there are days when I look out the window and am tempted to blow off my work to sit outside with a cigar, today is not one of them. It is not raining, but the sounds of the outside world – the wind, with hints of Blue (our upstairs neighbour Siberian Husky) crying will keep me honest today. The forecast high is 4°C, with a 50% chance of snow flurries. While the overnight temps will drop to -2°C, I will be in bed for all of the below-freezing hours. Tomorrow’s high is forecast at 10°, which is lovely… except that I will be inside teaching most of the day… and inside learning for most of the evening. The weekend is looking nice though… and not only because of the weather. I will be quite relieved to have this class behind me.

Today is the ninety-eighth day of my diet; I have recorded my thoughts in this journal every day since January 20. While there have been bad days (Day 45 was the worst of them), I think I have, for the most part, done pretty well. No, I am not on the strict, one hundred percent meal-replacement program that the weight loss clinics would prescribe. However, most weight loss professionals would likely agree that losing forty-five pounds in 98 days is nothing to sneeze at, and indeed is a healthy pace. They usually tell you that 1-2 lbs per week is a healthy pace, and I am exactly there. The fact that I had previously succeeded in losing 100 lbs in the same time period (in 2017) is not relevant, as I was on the extreme program then with absolutely no solid foods. While some might see my current diet as extreme, I assure you that it is far from it… two meals per day is not bad at all.

Of course, if I was losing weight faster, I would be happy… but I might also not be able to fit into the clothes that I ordered a month ago, which will be arriving in another month or so. They say 8-10 weeks, and I am eagerly hoping that they arrive sooner rather than later. Either way, they should be here in time for my flight to Dallas, which is June 16. I know, it is going to be extremely hot in Dallas in June… but wouldn’t it be nice one evening to be able to dress up for my girlfriend? Maybe to go out on the town, enjoy a fine meal, or even just a walk in the park. She deserves that!

Since sitting down the first time this morning, I received an unexpected call that my glasses were ready. I ran down to the optometrist to collect them, as NOW was the only available slot they had for me to come in today. I headed out, and after having the sunglasses fixed (they were my own frames, so they do not guarantee anything… and yes, a piece fell off, but yes, it was repairable) I came home, sat down to work, and promptly had a dog jump up to sit on my desk, preventing any possible work. Okay, so I am now two hours behind on the day… but I should be able to make it through.

Now that I can get back at my keyboard, it is time to do some work. Have a great day folks!