Losing a part of me

I do not know how far it will go, but the recent changes to my diet routine are paying huge dividends. The bathroom scale has me down another two pounds today. What I mean to say is that when I start a new diet – each time I have started on the meal replacements program – I see profound weight loss for a few days, which will then taper off. What is important is that as I keep losing weight, I should not expect tremendous drops on a daily basis. I have to be satisfied with smaller losses. As Leslie has reminded me many times, a weight loss journey is not always a smooth and steady road.

With all that said, I cannot imagine that cutting five hundred calories from my daily intake (while at the same time increasing my daily physical activity) can possibly be a bad thing. I seem to recall writing (or at least thinking) when I started the two-meal regimen that I would stick with it as long as I was losing weight… and when I was not, I would make another adjustment. I suppose that time has come, and I am happy to get on it.

After three days (two religious ones) of my new food plan I have not found myself wanting for more food. Yes, I have felt hunger… but much of it was my stomach telling me it is used to having more, not that it actually needs more. I will keep resisting that nagging, as I would resist a child who wants three new toys instead of just one.

As I was walking yesterday, it occurred to me that I have not gone back to look at my previous weight loss journals in quite some time. I then realized that today is exactly half a year since I started on this journey, and I have never lasted that long. By this point the first time around, I had already gained back about half of the weight that I had lost. My second go of it lasted longer, but after a few months I took a long hiatus, and came back later. Yes, I would eventually lose a lot more weight… and I would gain it all back.

I do not want that to happen this time around. My intentions are to keep at it, albeit slightly slower than the previous two times. Unlike those times, I have not cut out real food completely. I have also had a wonderful woman by my side through It all, and while she has not been with me physically for a lot of it, she has been an excellent supporter. I am losing the weight for me… but also for her, and for my kids.

While I am still in a real funk of a mood, I have been in healthier spirits, owing in large part to my exercise routine. I have gone on two incredible power walks this week, and I did a Taekwondo class on Tuesday… and will do another one this evening. It is keeping me on track, and I have a lot of reasons to stay on that track. As such, this week (or at least the three days of it that are passed) has been my most successful food week in I do not know how long. I have stuck to the plan of eating only one meal each day, and three meal replacement shakes. Yes, Monday I had some of the popcorn (which I then threw out), as well as a Japanese biscuit. Tuesday and Wednesday I did not veer from my program at all, and I can feel the difference.

While Monday and Tuesday were chicken days, yesterday when I finished my walk (and my article about the walk) I prepared a piece of Atlantic salmon, topped with black sesame seeds, and a few slices of pickled ginger. A garden salad accompanied it, and while the piece of salmon was quite large (nearly 600 calories worth of it) I was still under 1500 calories on the day. Considering the walk/jog I did, I do not feel guilty about it.

I am enjoying my book. Last night I sat on the patio reading with a cigar, and stayed there until the thunderstorm hit. When I do not have to be on the road, I enjoy the romance of a storm with thunder and lightning, and for the hour before the rain encroached on my balcony, I loved seeing the tremendous lightning from the corner of my eye as I read. I then went inside, had my final meal replacement of the evening, and then went to do some shopping, only to discover that the supermarkets close at 10:00pm, and it was five minutes past the hour. Oh well, I’ll go this morning.

I am preparing for my class that begins Monday, but there is not really a lot of preparation needed. I am teaching for a new client so I have had a number of meetings with them, mostly about the (mostly) proprietary tools that they expect me to use. None of these are overly complicated. One of the people I needed to talk to is a senior instructor there, and we figured out that we have at least two colleagues in common, one of whom is among my dearest friends. It is nice when meetings do not have to be all business.

My legs were really feeling the effects of my walking in the afternoon, and my housekeeper friend joked that I looked wobbly. I told her about my exercise, and that since I saw her last, I am down ten pounds. As she has gained five pounds in that time, she stopped harassing me. I do not know why exactly, but she only weighs herself on my scale… and my scale reports her weight to my phone as an unknown weight. I am glad it is smart enough to realize that no matter how strict I am about my diet and exercise, I cannot possibly lose 185-pounds in six weeks!

I would imagine that were it sentient, my fitness watch would be wondering what has changed. I am blowing through 15,000 steps several days per week, which has not been the norm for a while. I hope to keep it up, and continue to surprise it.

As I prepared for yesterday’s walk, I realized that my new workout shorts were in the laundry, and I decided to see what other workout shorts I have that fit. I pulled out maybe six pair from the bottom drawer, and sure enough, at least one pair (and possibly two) fit me just fine. I also found a sleeveless t-shirt that almost fits me, and knowing how hot it was, I decided to wear it anyways. I had vowed some months ago that I would never again go out in public wearing a shirt that exposed an inch (or any) of my belly… but when I am power-walking and jogging in the 35° heat, I would rather comfort over looks. Also, if anyone commented, I would simply say that I am wearing it to inspire me to exercise to fit into it!