Losing a part of me

I actually followed the program pretty well yesterday, save for a handful of peanuts. I cannot complain, knowing the stress and anxiety I am living with right now. I did not sleep very well, but none of my troubles are because of my weight management, which the bathroom scale showed me down .6lbs, putting me squarely back into the Best-Weight-Ever category. A few more days of this would be nice. Of course, knowing that I am taking my son the younger for dinner this evening might be a bump in the road, but I will do what I can.

I am looking forward to saying the Sabbath prayers this evening. I am hoping that the request I usually make – to bring peace and joy into the hearts and minds of my loved ones – will extend to me this time. I certainly do not feel peace or joy in my mind this week.

Three weeks from today, I will be anxiously preparing to drive to the airport to pick Leslie up. It truly does suck being apart. We are newlyweds after all, and we are supposed to be together. Don’t get me wrong, the time that we do spend together is magical… but the time apart is very difficult for both of us. It is harder on Leslie I suspect, for so many reasons… but it is very hard on me as well. I love her and I miss her, and I truly do count the hours until we are together.

Plans have just changed a bit. I will be taking my son the younger for lunch instead of dinner. His schedule is very confusing… he slept all day yesterday so I could not take him for dinner last night, but he is… forget it; I do not understand what is going on, so I cannot explain it. Suffice it to say, I am going to take him for lunch. I do not know yet where he is going to want to eat, but I am betting it will be somewhere quite diet unfriendly. I will happily suffer to spend time with my son, not eating if I have to. I will take a meal replacement bar with me in case his choice makes it impossible for me to eat anything reasonable, and when I come home, I will make my meal. In the event we go somewhere I can only have a salad, then I will still come home and make my chicken.

Leslie got a huge accolade from her company today, congratulating her for five years of employment. I am so proud that in the face of all that she went through, she was able to come out the other side, be accepted back at the company as a full-time employee again, thrive. It is hard for any woman to succeed in the technology field; how much harder for a woman who has been kept down at home too. I will never do that to her. I will boost her up and celebrate her successes and laud her accolades. She deserves each one because she works so hard for them!

I bought a shirt on Facebook Marketplace yesterday. It is a long sleeve cold-weather workout shirt that is from the same company as one that I used to have, but the colour is much nicer… not to mention it does not have a giant black ink stain on it. Fashion aside, it is a size XL (the old one was a XXL) … and I bought it without trying it on, knowing that it might be tight. It fits perfectly. Even three months ago I would have never bought a shirt without trying it on… especially not in a size that I had not fit into at all recently! In other words, another non-scale victory!

I did have my meeting with my diet buddy last night. She is so excited and so scared about her upcoming surgery. I am not sure if I am more worried about the major surgery, or about the fact that she is flying to Mexico (and Tijuana of all places) to have it done. I have considered having a dental crown done in Cuba, but that’s a tooth… not invasive surgery. I am going to say a few extra prayers for her. We have one more meeting before she flies, and I am glad that I can be an outlet for her anxiety. She referred to it last night as ‘buyer’s remorse’ but I do not think that is what it is. She is scared, and that is understandable.

Okay, I want to do my daily Torah studies before I head out and pick up my son. Have a great day folks!