Losing a part of me

I slipped last night. The salad I had in the evening was likely of little consequence. When I got home (after 11pm) I had that last bag of pop chips (actually called Crispy Minis I realized) in addition to my meal replacement shake. Combine food that I should not be eating at hours when I should not be eating anything, and the result is what I got on the bathroom scale this morning. I hope the nearly two-pound jump from yesterday, in addition to surging above that previous monumental achievement of dropping below 260 pounds, and you have a big, loud wakeup call that will serve as a reminder of the consequences of not being mindful for just a few moments.

I had trouble falling asleep, but once I had, my precious puppy let me know at about 3:15am that she really needed to go outside. She is not a fan of inclement weather, and while I had taken her outside several times during the day (and when I got back from Toronto), she had only sniffed briefly at the grass, peed a little, and then insisted we go back inside. When we went out before bed to blustering winds and freezing rain, she did a little bit of business, but then made an about-face and guided me right back into the building. I was pretty sure we were done for the night, but that was not to be. As a result, my sleep definitely could have been better.

There are two measurements that my new fitness watch tracks which my old one did not. In truth, there are several… but these are the two I have been watching and am focusing on now. The first is sleep, which I suppose my old one probably tracked too, but with its much shorter battery life I never wore it to bed. Whether the other one did or not, the new one provides a sleep score, which for last night is telling me that: ‘You slept long enough, but you spent too much time awake. You may not feel well-rested today.’ I could have told it the second part, although I am impressed that it thinks I slept long enough. I think he mistook my lying in bed resting (and checking my phone) with actual sleep.

The second measurement that it is providing me is called body battery, which provides a number for estimating my changing energy levels throughout the day. Right now, it is at 84, the highest number it has been since Tuesday before my jog. I also know that it likely takes a few days wearing the new device to get an accurate picture of that, so when Monday (the first day that I wore it and that I exercised) it registered a 100 (and then only dropped to 37 after 8km on the treadmill) I will assume that it was just trying to calibrate. Following Friday’s nearly 80 minutes on the treadmill my battery dropped to 11, and by the end of my relaxing Saturday it had not risen above 75. I will keep an eye on it as a matter of interest and curiosity, but I am pretty good at knowing when I should and should not work out.

Speaking of which, today will likely not be a jogging day, for a slightly amusing reason. I do not always clip my toenails as well as I should, and I believe that the nail of my pinky toe on my left foot has cut into my next toe with all of my recent running. I will clip them on both feel today, and if I feel the need to jog later in the day (a definite possibility, especially with the weather forecast) then I will bandage my second toe before heading out. I am not sure I have ever put a Band-Aid on any but my big toe before, but there can always be a first time, right? The critical importance of having healthy feet is a lesson that was drilled into us in the Army, and I will not disappoint those who drilled that into me by letting a toe get infected for no reason other than stubbornness. In the meantime, if after my lunch with my son (the younger) I can clip them and then go for a run before Julie comes over then I will gladly take the opportunity; the forecast is for a sunny day with a high of 9°, making it a brilliant day to hit the road. Tomorrow’s forecast promises chilly temperatures with a mix of rain and snow all day… if I am going to jog outside this week, it looks like today, Tuesday, and possibly Thursday are the days to do it. The rest of the days will be gym days only.

Yes, my diet buddy is coming over this afternoon around 4:00. I joked with her that instead of out usual coffee we might go out for beers and to ‘score some chicks’ which was my feeble attempt at Sunday morning humour. Her wife is in Yukon and mine is in Dallas so we joke like that a lot… and look forward to the day when we can actually go to a bar to see which women check both of us out. Neither of us would ever follow through with anything, but it will be nice to be looked at. We have both been overweight for so long that we are used to being ignored. We both have wives who love us and who have always been attracted to us, but it is nice to know that other people can look at us that way too. As it stands, we will sit at my place and have coffee; after these last few days I feel that I do need the touch point to get back on track, so it will be good to see her for that reason as well as just seeing my friend.

I am taking my son the younger for lunch today, and I hope he picks one of the places with fewer temptations. No, he just confirmed that he wants Lone Start Texas Grill. My response to his mother was ‘Fucking Lone Star.’ There is nothing wrong with the restaurant of course… and I can have my usual salad there (and not finish it or take it home with me). It is just those damned tortilla chips and salsa that kill me every time. I MUST RESIST. Maybe I will ask Tex or Dakota or whatever stupid alias the server uses that is supposed to sound Texan to bring me celery sticks to dip into the salsa instead. I will find a way to resist, even if I have to eat the damned salsa with a fork. When I get home this afternoon, I will be proud of myself for not giving in to the temptation. I swear to G-d I will figure out a way. The salsa is high in sodium but if I ate three ounces of it with celery, I would be at 18 calories with 3g of carbohydrates. I can live with that.

I am back from lunch, where I did mostly okay. I ordered the grilled chicken fajita bowl, eschewing the cheese (of course) and the rice (mostly). I did eat four of Gilad’s tortilla chips. Four chips is immeasurably better than all the chips! When I was dropping him off, his mother told me I should come in to bring his brother his birthday gift. My son the elder was quite impressed by my selection and invited me in to sample it. I had the smallest portion of whiskey possible, and it was absolutely delicious. I could easily have poured another three or four measures for myself; instead, when he brought out pecan halves, I took six – a reasonable portion by any measure. We spent several hours talking, with some amazing revelations which I will not share here.

It is a beautiful afternoon – it is still sunny, and the forecast high temperature is two degrees behind us. I am going to clip my nails and go for a jog. Julie had to cancel, so we will have a phone call instead. That’s life. The day is mostly done, and my biggest temptations and hurdles are in the rearview mirror. I was not strictly on my program today… but in the balance I will chalk it up as a success. Tomorrow morning when I write of this afternoon’s jog I hope to do so with a spring in my step, as I plan my trip to the gym to attack the treadmill with gusto.

Have a great day folks!