Losing a part of me

Falling off the wagon can hurt a lot worse than it has these last few days. It is time to admit though that if I did not quite fall off, then I have not exactly been steadily on the wagon either. I cheated (some wrong foods, but all wrong portions) Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The only bright light is that I have still remained active. I jogged all of those days except yesterday, and even yesterday I got in my steps. I slipped for sure, and it sucks that I am more than five pounds heavier than I was Friday morning. Had I not jogged (or walked) it would have been much worse.

You know something, that is not entirely true. Another reason I did not fall of worse is because I have stayed mostly mindful, even in my cheating. Yes, my portion sizes of chicken and salmon were too damned big… but they were still healthy proteins, no sauces. Yes, I bought a couple of bags of mini crisps which are bad for my weight loss… but I did not buy the Ruffles potato chips that would have been much worse (not to mention also come in much larger bags, which would have been just as empty when I was done with them). Over these few days I have bought both peanuts and almonds from Bulk Barn… but they have been very reasonable quantities each time. My second worst cheat was yesterday when I found a bag of almonds in my pantry yesterday (which should not have been there) which I opened and finished… again, it was a terrible cheat, but they were finished by 5:30pm, and I skipped two meal replacements in the evening to counterbalance that. Frankly, my worst cheat (and the one that bit me hardest) was the smoked turkey drumstick that I bought and devoured Tuesday. Had it been roasted turkey then the only problem would have been the portion size (which could easily have been three meals). According to sources, the 27g of fat also has 2,800mg of sodium.

My goal for today is to get back onto the wagon. I plan to head for the gym around 11:45 for a good run on the treadmill. My gym is only a few blocks from the train station, where I have to pick up my cleaning lady at 2pm, and if I time things right then I don’t have to make the round trip twice. On my way there I will drop some shirts off at the dry cleaners, which I should have done yesterday had I thought of it. Yes, my new shirts are due to arrive on Monday, but that does not mean my old shirts are going in the garbage. As long as I do not make any pit stops to buy snacks along the way, I will be fine. Unfortunately, the gym is two blocks from Bulk Barn, my dry cleaner is attached to Fortino’s, and the cleaning lady and I need to hop into Wal-Mart to pick up some supplies. I suppose it will be a good test of my willpower.

This evening, Leslie and I are sitting down (virtually) with the Rabbi to go over the details of our wedding. While it is exciting, it is also stressful. I also have to make a number of calls today and tomorrow about the logistics; If it were not for the time zone differential it would be slightly less stressful for me, but there it is. I am extremely excited about the wedding, and this morning I went downstairs to my storage locker to bring up my garment bag suitcase; While my regular suitcase has a compartment for hanging shirts and a suit, I have long suspected that for this trip I would be better suited (no pun intended) with the luggage designed for that purpose.

Leslie made a great point this morning… I need special fun socks for the wedding! We went through some options online and picked out the perfect pair. One more job that I had almost neglected is now done!

My plan for today is to get through it without any cheats. I will hit the treadmill at the gym, followed by a hydro massage and then shower, sauna, shower. My cleaning lady will be here in the afternoon, and while she is here, I will make some of my calls about the logistics. If the weather cooperates, I might also have a cigar on the balcony while she is here. Following the call with the rabbi, I will head to Taekwondo, where I will likely take it easy because of my elbow, which is still in a lot of pain (although much less so for the Aspirin). If I can get all of this done, plus my errands, then I know that when I step onto the bathroom scale tomorrow morning, I will weigh less than I did today.

Have a great day folks!