Losing a part of me

Every day that I get through without veering from the program feels like another huge success… even on days when I do not see progress on the bathroom scale. There have not been too many of those fortunately, and I am thrilled with my progress. This morning I did not smash through any milestones, but my weight was down again… if only by .2 lb.. I know that down is better than up, and I am happy to be making progress… however frustrated I am by the occasional snail’s pace of it.

Yesterday I wrote about two milestones that are fast approaching. They are coming at me so fast that I forgot that in February I set out a list of short-term goals, which I defined as goals achievable within 45-days. As of this morning (almost 95 days after I wrote those) I have two goals on that list that I have not achieved, which are:

· Drop below 250 lbs., that major milestone that I have no recollection of honestly weighing, the half-century.

· Drop to 230 lbs., at which point I will be classified as overweight, but no longer Obese.

Knowing of the setbacks I had in the weeks leading up to and then following the wedding I am glad that I did not take longer to get back to positive territory, and that this is where I am at. With that said, maybe I should think of some new short-term goals that will take me into the summer. I am not rushing into that, but it will be something I give some thought to over the next week or so.

I do not remember the last time I felt so self-conscious with a class, but I am really looking forward to saying goodbye to this group of students. I am sure they are all wonderful people, but no matter what I have done this week I have not been able to get any of them to engage. One of the reasons I always preferred teaching to live audiences in person is because I could always see the class and would know if I needed to adjust my style to keep their focus and interest. When teaching online you might have some students who engage, either in the chat window or by turning on their microphones (and even occasionally their cameras) and others who do not. The class I have been teaching this week has almost zero engagement of any sort, after our Monday morning introductions. I have no idea if they are doing the work or listening, and all I know is that when I ask if anyone is still working on labs, they occasionally say that they are. I have no way of gauging if they are enjoying the class, and I am fully expecting less-than-stellar evaluations, which is rare for me. Granted, I have been pleasantly surprised before when I have expected bad evals and discovered that they really did like me, but it is always so hard to tell. The next nine hours or so will be a mad rush to get through a lot of material, and then it will be over. Hopefully the students did appreciate the class though. I will find out tonight.

Speaking of tonight, this evening I have a friend in from out of town. She and her beau are coming over for cigars and drinks, and weather permitting it should be a lovely time. I have not seen her in a couple of years, and it will be nice to catch up.

Over the weekend I am going to pay a sick call to my buddy who has not been in good health the last month. He lives a couple of hours away from here, but I know that he needs a friend, and I also know that his wife is probably at her wits end taking care of him while also caring for my godchildren. It’s a long drive, but I have always said that I will go to the ends of the earth for my friends. It will also give me a good excuse to see the kids!

My plan for today is to do my best to stay on track. I suspect that my friend will try to get me to drink with them, but I will feign… something. I will gladly enjoy cigars and conversation, but I do not want to fall off my program because of alcohol… especially knowing that I am so close to these next two milestones.

Have a great day folks!