Losing a part of me

I was horrified last night when, before getting into bed, I stepped onto the bathroom scale. I was three pounds heavier than I had been in the morning. It is not uncommon for me to be a bit over my morning weight late at night. It is usually a safe bet that by morning I will weigh 2-3 pounds less than my nighttime weight. Unless something drastic happened, I would weigh over (or near) 270 pounds in the morning. It was not fair! I had a normal breakfast and lunch, but I finished the day with a meal replacement shake around 5pm, and then another one around 10:30. How could I actually gain weight after a day like that?

What I had not taken into account was that the water I had drunk, combined with the fact that I suspect the shakes are a diuretic. I was up to pee three times before my morning rituals; combined with the very successful bowel movement, I ended up down from last night an incredible 5.4 lbs., and 2.4 lbs. from yesterday morning. All is well, I did not have to get disheartened that when I work at it I really can continue to lose weight.

My wife has decided to use the meal replacement program to lose weight. While I do not care if she loses weight or not, I am happy to support her through it. Over the last few days we have discussed it a great deal. Today is her second full day on the program, and she is experiencing a lot of the side effects that are so normal for anyone who has started the program as often as I have. She seems relieved that I am able to reassure her that the headache, the weakness, the thirst, and all are all perfectly normal. I will continue to be her support system, and her biggest cheerleader.

I had actually thought to start the full program with her but realized that I had quite a few dollars worth of perishable groceries in the refrigerator and did not want to throw it all out. I have, however, decided to go back onto the partial program. Today I had my breakfast, and after my jog/walk I will prepare my lunch. In the late afternoon/evening I will have a meal replacement shake (or two). The chicken I have in the fridge will then be done, and I will go down to one meal (breakfast) in the morning, and then three meal replacements. I will do that for another week or so, and then I will decide if I want to stick with that program, or if I might be ready to try another month or so on the full program.

I am not making this decision solely to do it with my wife. I know that I might never get back down below 200 lbs., I know that I still have a substantial amount of weight I would like to lose. In my post-Army life I have never weighed less than 250 pounds. When I reached that milestone on May 27, I was thrilled… and then I started to lose ground. I know I can get back there, and then I can go further. If I can get down to 220 lbs., for example, then I will be completely clear of the Obese Class I category, and I can think about being normal. As I wrote sometime over the last few days, if I can get to a good place then I can make sure that I stay within a range… and not letting myself go again. If I realize that 250 is as good as I can do, then maybe that’s where I will be… but I am not giving up on getting lower unless I really try. If I have done everything I can but still cannot get below that then I will accept it. I will not settle unless I know that I have tried my best.

This morning Leslie and I had a lovely cigar date on the balcony. I lost track of time, so here I sit writing my daily entry at 12:30pm. It is time for me to suit up and head out. Realizing I was hungry (and that jogging hungry is not the smartest thing to do) I had a yogurt. I should be showered and ready for lunch by 2:15pm or so. That is, unless I keep procrastinating… which I will not do.

Have a great day folks!