Losing a part of me

I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning with trepidation. I knew that I had not cheated at all yesterday, and that I had gone for a very good walk. I knew all that yesterday morning as well so when the numbers on the scale were up, I was disheartened. After that measure I knew that if I did drop slightly then I would still be at or even above 250 lbs., and that I would need to lose at least .6 lb. to drop below that milestone. It did not help at all that I was not able to move my bowels this morning. I did yesterday after I wrote my article, but that doesn’t mean anything. I looked at the scale and stepped up as if I was taking that last step out of the helicopter. Just like that zipline drop, I waited there unable to move or do anything for several seconds. I then looked down to see where I was.

249.4 lbs.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought it would be a celebration, an exultation of some sort. There was nothing like that. In fact, I realized a minute later that I needed to repeat the process – not to check that I had not dreamed it, rather to take a picture of the numbers on the scale so that I could send them to my diet buddy who, at that moment, was I am sure lying comfortably in her bed three time zones away. I did not want to send it to my wife – I want to tell her personally so we can celebrate together. Julie has been a wonderful friend and she will be thrilled for me, but Leslie is the woman I want to share my triumph with. Maybe her absence is why I did not jump up and down or pump my fist in the air. I don’t know. Please do not misunderstand me; I am thrilled, elated, overjoyed… I am just toned down about it.

Next milestone: down 150 lbs… and if I stay on track then that will be in the next ten days or less. I am less than five pounds from that one.

I am picking up my son the younger at 11:30am and taking him for lunch. I have no doubt that we will be going back to Lone Star Texas Grill, where he will order the queso with chips, and a pound of breaded Buffalo wings with barbecue sauce. I will gird myself to resist the temptation of the free chips with salsa that the waiter will bring before he even takes our orders. I will order nothing but water or possibly coffee. I will sit and watch my thirteen-year-old boy devour his food that will look and smell so delicious and tempting. Now that I think of it, I might order a plate of celery and carrots. My boy always gives me his carrots, and a plate of carrot sticks would not hurt me. I don’t know… it will depend on how I feel when we sit down. If I feel that I am strong enough to make it through his meal, then I will simply eat the ones off his plate. If I am feeling weak, then I will ask for my own. I will not cheat.

After I drop him off, I will come home and have my first shake of the day. It will be slightly later than usual, but not terribly so. I will see if I have the energy to go for a long walk, but I know that my body should get some recovery in from time to time. On the other hand, I am teaching this week (Monday and Wednesday from 9am to 9pm) so today is my last opportunity to exercise this year.

Yes, Friday evening the Jewish People will welcome the New Year. Rosh Hashana is a time of reflection just as New Year’s Eve is on the Gregorian Calendar. This has been a wonderful year of change for me; I married my lovely wife (yes, we were married in a courthouse the previous year, but this year it was under the eyes of G-d). I lost a tremendous amount of weight this year; I actually lost more weight from January 20-December 31 2022 than I have this calendar year, or even from January 20-September 10 2022 than I have this year… but I still started and finished that year morbidly obese (Obese Class 3), whereas today I am 16 lbs. from dropping from Obese Class 1 to Overweight. I have written before about my thoughts about the BMI Scale, but absent more accurate yard sticks, I will take this one. What other changes have I made? I have been exercising (although not as regularly as I should, still pretty well). I have been more conscious of my appearance, and Leslie and I are that much closer to being able to live together. I have helped Leslie to learn more about our beautiful religion, and I have maintained my faith to a level that I am satisfied with… although I know that I can still do better, and I will endeavour to do so going forward.

I was sitting and talking with a neighbour yesterday. He doggie is old but he’s a good boy and Princess Sophie wanted to spend some time on his patio with him, so his mom and I were talking. I told her how much weight I had lost, and she was absolutely shocked. I pulled out a picture of what I looked like on the day I started this journey, and she was flabbergasted. She started by saying that it had mainly been in my stomach. She then said ‘actually, I guess it was everywhere. You can see a real difference even in your face.’ This is a woman who only sees me fully clothed so she cannot see that my legs, my hips, my chest, my shoulders… every part of me is smaller, more toned, and less flabby. I still have a long way to go, but I am thrilled by the progress I have made so far.

Here we are again. These last few days I have been writing about how many days I had weighed in lighter… well today that number is zero. I am at my best weight ever. My diet buddy said that there is nowhere to go but down, but when we talk next, I will remind her that thinking like that can lead to disaster. Down is where I want to keep going… but it would not take much for the trend to turn and for my weight to start going up. I cannot do that. Best Weight Ever is a great place to be… and I hope to keep moving that number downward over the next few weeks and months. I might take a pause for my week in California, but I am still not going to go overboard. I am going to do my best to come home on Tuesday, and on Wednesday morning step onto my doctor’s scale and weigh less than 110kg. This morning I weigh 113kg. Later that day I will be measured by the Hong Kong tailor, and I will be smaller than I have been since the Army. I will keep going because I know how easy it would be to lose focus and end up gaining the weight back again. I can never let that happen.

Okay, it is time to get moving. I am going to sit outside with a very short cigar and my coffee, and in 25 minutes I will go to pick up my son.

Have a great day folks!