Losing a part of me

I forgot to post yesterday. I just had one of those days when I vegged all day and did not do much of anything. If I had posted, then I would have written that I was extremely upset with myself because I bought four rolls on Friday and ended up eating all of them. It was no surprise that my weight was up yesterday morning to my highest weight since January of 2023. I weighed 289.2, and it was small wonder that my weight stayed below 290 lbs. I kicked myself, and then I ate properly yesterday. I dropped two pounds this morning, and will continue to eat properly.

I have to go to the store today because I have an extremely busy week ahead, which was not supposed to be the case. Friday afternoon I was given a daytime class to teach this week, which means that with my evening classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will be teaching tomorrow and Wednesday from 10am to 9pm. Long days indeed. I have enough food for today, but as I will likely not have the time to go to the supermarket tomorrow I will be doing my grocery shopping today. I will bypassing the bakery for sure, and will only be buying chicken, vegetables, and eggs… along with some cleaning supplies that I need. I have been saying all along that I need to get back on track, and that means getting my mindset back into it. Mindfulness and focus and resolve have to be my focus. That means that I will not be buying eggrolls or bread or any of the other little cheats that I like to pretend are things that I can only have a reasonable portion of. I will not buy peanuts. There will be no snacking this week. A buddy might be coming over Tuesday evening to barbecue, and he would be bringing steaks and potatoes. If he does, then that will be the only starch that I allow myself this week. I have no Lodge meetings this week so that wouldn’t be an issue (I ate poorly at the dinner Thursday evening as well), so I will not be tempted.

I hate that my pants are so tight that I have to suck my belly in to close the few pair that actually fit… and that my beautiful jackets mostly do not close. I hate that I have lost my way. The only solution is to get back on track. Fortunately I have the support of my friends and my beautiful wife to fall back on if I feel weak.

This evening into tomorrow is Yom Hazikaron… Israel’s Remembrance Day. For the first time I will light two candles… one for my friends and brothers, and one for the hostages in Gaza. May they all return home soon.

Have a great day folks!