Losing a part of me

I made a huge miscalculation yesterday that could have gone badly. Fortunately, I think things worked out. At around 11:15am I wrote in my journal that I was ready to start my workout. That is not what happened. I ended up answering some emails including questions from my students (that were somehow asked of the customer service desk, so I got them third hand, and still needed (or wanted) to answer them before class), as well as a number of emails to a couple of different consulates. By the time I actually started my workout, it was a few minutes after 12pm. The problem with that is that I had taken my morning shake at around 8:30am, which means I was nearing the four-hour mark since I’d eaten and should probably have prepared my second shake before working out. Not thinking, I figured I’d be fine.

I jogged 4km at a quicker pace than previous – I upped it from 4 to 4.3mph, which brought me down to about 8m50/km. From there I dropped to a brisk walk (3.5mph) for another fourteen minutes or so. My total distance was 4.83km in 50 minutes. Great. The problem was that I was so drained of energy that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get undressed, let alone make it to the shower,

I managed to do all of that, but before I got dressed, I prepared my second shake. I was still completely shot after that and made the decision that I needed to go to the store to pick up some almonds. This was both a good and a bad decision. It was good because I definitely needed more energy. It was completely stupid because when you are in that state of mind, everything is a temptation. There is a saying that you should never do your grocery shopping when you are hungry, and I know that to be true. As I walked by the sushi counter, past the bakery, and then on my way out past the prepared food and soup counters I knew how easy it would be to just have a nip. Driving home with the bag of almonds open next to me I was still thinking that maybe I should just switch to my ‘adjusted’ program, where I have one full meal per day. Would that be so bad? I seem to recall doing pretty well on that…

Not yet Mitch! It was just yesterday that I wrote about how much time it took to lose the weight, and how easily and quickly I put it all back on. I need to be mindful, and I need to be focused. I bought the usual serving of almonds, and I ran off to the car. When the thought about the roasted chicken I could be making for myself, I was relieved knowing that I had left the store, and that I do not have any of it in the house.

I had a video date with Leslie when I got back from the store, but I was really weak and a bit lightheaded. I decided that if I was going to make it through my class in the evening then I needed to rest, so I got into bed, set my alarm, and took a nap for an hour. Phew! I made it through the class, and the day ended well. I was still asleep earlier than I normally would be, but Leslie understood. Princess Sophie even joined me on the bed for an hour before returning to her own bed.

This morning was the first day that I did not lose any weight. It is a day later than I had anticipated, and I am fine with it. It is the second day in a row that I am not able to cross a number off on my fridge chart and knowing that I am a single down-day away from that is a bit teasing. At 280.2 lbs., the next day that I drop any weight will have me down to my second ‘decade’ – the 10-pound delineations – as well as that fridge chart mark. It would have been nice to hit them both this morning, but it will also be nice to hit it tomorrow morning.

This morning, I am going to go to pick up my dry cleaning, as well as milk for my coffee. I realized only after I got home yesterday that I was running low, but it worked out well because in the state that my mind and body were in yesterday afternoon, it would have been a bad idea to have to walk through the supermarket. I have little doubt that I would have caved to temptation. I am now feeling much stronger. As I type this, I am finishing my morning meal replacement (and first cup of coffee) so if I go immediately after then I will be sated and strong. There are three things on my shopping list for the trip: Milk, one emergency stash of almonds (which I will keep in the car so as to not be close at hand when I get hungry), and my dry cleaning. That’s it.

I have a couple of friends coming over today for different reasons and at different times, and both of them will be sitting on the balcony with me enjoying a cigar. One of them is starting the same program that I am on through the same clinic that I first did it with today, so I will be giving him a lot more advice than he will be giving me (as he is my mentor for Freemasonry it is usually the inverse). If I head out now, then I will be able to fit a workout in before my first buddy comes, so I’m going to hit the road.

Have a great day folks!