Losing a part of me

I forced myself to stay awake as long as I could… which is to say until about 3:30pm. I then crawled into bed and slept for a couple of hours. As happens far too frequently, especially when I try to sleep during daylight hours, my eyes popped open a couple of hours later. I then did something that I do not usually do. Despite feeling like I was awake, and knowing that I was still exhausted, I stayed in bed. I probably got up to pee, but then I got right back into bed. I might have checked my email quickly, but I did not stay on my phone for any other purpose. I stayed in bed, and I eventually fell back asleep. While my fitness watch did not register it as such, I probably slept a full nine hours last night. It was blissful. I feel much more awake today than I have these last several days.

These last couple of days I have eaten one of the new meal replacements for my mid-night breakfast. Aside from the fact that I would not have had time either day to prepare anything, it was a healthy and convenient ‘meal’ that I would not feel guilty about. I had the wafers both days – yesterday’s was mocha, today’s was chocolate – and they were both tasty and satisfying. By the time my lunch hour comes around (at 6:00am) I will make an omelette. As I mentioned, I have enough food in the house for a couple more days; by the weekend I should be able to get back onto the program… as long as I can do it with these meal replacements. It will be an adjustment, and I am not sure if I will succeed. I just looked and the product I usually use is still sold out. That is frustrating, and I am not sure how I will adjust… or if I will stick to a revised partial program for the time being.

For the third night in a row, my weight dropped… significantly. I am now 5.8 lbs. lighter than I was just a few days ago. That is great, except that I am also still six pounds heavier than I was on my best day. I have a long way to go to even be back on track.

This program is easier when the product is available but maybe the non-availability will force me to use some sort of self-control which might, in turn, become a habit.

It is now 8:15am and I have less than three hours left to go before the end of my work day. I am hoping that a buddy is coming over for a cigar in the afternoon. I am also hoping that I can repeat yesterday… sleep from 5pm-1am. We’ll see.

Have a great day folks.