Losing a part of me

Category: Blog

  • Fixing the Days

    I knew there was a mistake somewhere when I did the math during my earlier post. After I was done with it, I decided to go back to figure out where I went wrong.

    This morning I was working on my journal entry titled Day 362, and I did some counting to the one-year anniversary. The numbers did not add up. I was pretty sure that I started this program on January 20, which would have been Day 1. Yet when I started doing the counting to Day 365, I was coming up with Wednesday, which meant that I lost a day somewhere. January 20 is this coming Friday, but doing the simple counting, Wednesday would be Day 365, which meant that the anniversary would be January 19. Something strange is going on in Whoville folks!

    I went back to Day 1 in my journal and started counting. I am glad that in the off-line version, I have taken the time to mark down the date almost every Monday and Thursday, although there are a couple of times when that was shifted for whatever reason. It took until I as nearly up to date… I had New Year’s Day (Sunday) as Day 347, and then the following day was Monday, January 2, 2023… Day 349. I went back and made the corrections in my off-line journal and will now go back and correct the on-line version on my blog. That will take a few minutes, because while I want to change the article titles, I do not want that to modify the links. If it has to then so be it, but if it can be easily avoided then I will be happier that way.

    It could have been much worse of course… I had to correct fourteen entries. Had the mistake been six months ago, I would likely have left it the way it was. I certainly would not have changed the blog (which will require me to go into each article individually, unlike the off-line version which is one large Microsoft Word document).

    Now that I have found and corrected the mistake, we can go back to accepting that Friday will be the one-year anniversary on my journey and continue as normal.

    Thank you again for reading!

  • Day 284

    I was hoping to start out today’s entry declaring a huge milestone. Alas, despite not doing too badly on my program yesterday, that will have to wait at least a day, and maybe two or three days. Owing in part I suppose to the minor constipation I am going through these last two days, my weight this morning was up 1.2lbs, taking me once again just out of reach of my next milestone.

    The plan for today is to drive out to Cambridge to visit with my buddy Ryan. We will smoke cigars, shoot the shit, and watch football. Ryan is a huge football fan, and although his favourite team (Buffalo Bills) are not playing until this evening (by which time I am sure we will have left), his father’s favourite team (Dallas Cowboys) are playing at 1:00pm, and I am sure there will be some hooting and hollering during that contest. I don’t care, as long as I can smoke my cigars. I will bring my darts with me, and in case someone wants to play (there are usually a couple of others in the smoking garage aside from Ryan and his dad).

    I will do my best to stick to the program today, although I know there will always be plenty of opportunity to cheat when I am at Ryan’s. I will take a couple of meal replacements with me… just in case I am tempted.

    I do want to mention that once I press the publish button on this article, I will be notified that I am on a 58-day streak posting to the blog. There was one day a couple of months ago when I did not post, but with the exception of that day, I have posted daily every day for 284 days. This includes days when I was in the deepest depression, thinking I was going to lose everything. It includes days when I was so emotionally broken that I knew I was not just falling, but diving head-first off the wagon. It includes days when I was traveling, whether to (or from) Montreal, New York, Ottawa, Dallas, California, or even Cuba. It includes Jewish fast days, and Jewish feast days. There was a time when I wrote daily because I liked seeing those streak numbers get higher (yes, before breaking the streak on September 2, I was on a 225-day streak). In truth, I write every day as a way to stay consistent. On my worst days and on my best days, on days when I do not veer from the program and on days when my program goes completely out the window, I write. It is a habit, something that I do every morning, mostly wedged between taking Princess Sophie for her morning walk and making my first cup of coffee (and breakfast meal replacement), and before I start my day (whether that be working or not).

    The habitual writing provides me a consistency, something that I do every day, and reminds me every day that I am on my weight management program. It is that alarm clock that reminds me that ‘Yes, I am on the path to losing weight, and yes, I will continue to try today to stay on that path.’ I feel that it has kept me on track. Even when there have been days when I have fallen completely off track, the following day is a day to not only reflect on what I did wrong, but it is also my reminder that I am on a long journey. Spending a few minutes writing (my son and stepson would correct me that I am actually typing) in my journal every day gives me an opportunity to start fresh that day. If I have any chance of achieving all of my goals, then that is what I need to do. However well or poorly I might have done the previous day, I have to start fresh today. That’s why I write.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 227

    My streak is broken. Yesterday was the first day since January 20th that I did not post an article on my weight loss blog. I began to write the piece, I got distracted by shiny things, and I did not go back to it. I assure you that it was not because I was failing with my weight loss. Princess Sophie probably dragged me out for whatever, and I never came back to post what I had written. That will actually take a lot of the pressure off… yes, there is a lot of pressure involved when you are on a 225-day streak, and when WordPress congratulates me daily for it! My new streak begins today.

    My bathroom scale continues to be kind to me. This morning, I am 2.6-pounds down from what I weighed Wednesday morning. This despite big cheats on Wednesday and Thursday (with the Salt and Vinegar Goldfish) and yesterday, when I had a handful of peanuts, as well as two meals (the first was my normal lunch, the second was a lovely smoked Coho salmon with tabouli at Lyle and Dorothy’s house, where I spent the afternoon and evening. I am at my lowest weight, and it feels good. I only wish I was with my wife so that we could enjoy it together.

    I have been walking on a tricky ankle for the last few days, which is something I did when I stepped on something at the airport the other day. I know it is not a big deal, but I do want to give my ankle another day to recover. I am hoping that the weather tomorrow morning holds up – there is a 10% chance of rain predicted for the morning, with the chances increasing throughout the day. I would like to go out for a walk, and if it not raining too badly then I can do that. I do not want to get sick, but I also do not want to stagnate with my exercise routine. Fortunately, I know that the Taekwondo club will be open Tuesday (the day after Labour Day), and I will be able to resume my martial arts training… even if the weather outside is not conducive to walking.

    My plans for today are to go to see my friend Eduardo. He wants me to fix his computer, and we will smoke a cigar together as well. The way my allergies are currently kicking my butt, I am wondering if I will be able to enjoy a cigar on his balcony, what with all of his wife’s plants and flowers. We will try though. He also wants to take me out for lunch (assuming I do fix his computer!) and I will have to be careful. I will nix any restaurant suggestions where I cannot stick to my weight loss program. I am really happy with my weight loss progress these last few days, and I do not want to tumble back, just for the sake of a free meal.

    It is a lovely day outside, so if later this afternoon my ankle is not doing too bad, I might try for a walk. We’ll see… I do not want to make that transition from hurt to injured.

    Everyone is asking me what my plans are for the long weekend, and I keep telling them that I do not really have any. I will mostly stay close to home, and possibly see my kids for a couple of hours… assuming they want to see me.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 141

    There are days when I am optimistic. Other days, I am less so… but I put on a brave face. I do not have a brave face to put on today. I just cannot bring myself to be cheerful and positive. The best I can do is to try to not jump off the wagon. I am going to try to maintain my diet program today. I have to make that promise to myself. Not that I am going to stay true… but that I will do my best. I will try to stay true. I cannot promise any more than that.

  • Day 90

    It is hard to believe that today is my ninetieth day on the program. I have not lost as much as I would have liked, but I have covered that before… I am not on the program religiously, but a modified program. Hey, losing nearly fifty pounds in ninety days is nothing to sneeze at, is it?

    Yesterday’s workout was great, but there is no question, you really do feel it later in the evening. I have a new diet buddy that read my article on Food Addiction and told me that she will now be reading my blog for encouragement. She also told me she would love to walk with me. I told her I would be delighted, but she would have to be able to maintain the pace that I was at yesterday. I do not want to make her feel bad if she cannot keep up. We all need to start out at our own pace.

    On much the same topic, yesterday was the best single-day views on my diet-blog, www.losingapartof.me. I find that on days when I share a specific (and topical) article with one of the Facebook groups that I am active on, I see a real spike in readership. How cool would it be if even twenty percent of those people subscribed… or at least read the blog on a regular basis!? All told, yesterday’s total views peaked at one hundred and seventy-nine… and while the majority were from North America, there were viewers from ten countries and six continents in total (although only one hit each from Asia, Africa, and South America)! Considering my average readership has been around 450 views per month, that is really exciting.

    I am proud of my weight-loss, but I am also proud of my writing. Knowing that there are so many people out there fighting the same fight that I am is heartwarming and being able to share with them is great. Don’t think for a minute that my current readers (especially my number one fan) are not enough for me… I write for myself, and hope that along the way, somebody thinks that what I wrote might be important or relevant to them. In the meantime, with all of the views yesterday, I only added one follower… which is exactly the same number of followers I added on the previous day.

    I would have preferred, after yesterday’s strenuous workout, to see the numbers on the scale down this morning. Alas, that was not the case. Instead, I am up half a pound. I am looking forward to my weigh-in at the doctor’s office tomorrow, where I can be assured of the accuracy of the scale. Until then, I have to suffice myself with the knowledge that if I am going to weigh myself every single day, then my body weight will not drop consistently every single day… and even days of perfect behaviour will often only show results a day or two later. That is the reality of life. That is among the myriad frustrations of dieting and weight loss.

    I am super excited that I have my ticket for Dallas booked. I got a frantic call from Leslie worrying that she did not have staples that I use daily, such as a coffee pot or an air fryer. I know she is just excited that I am finally coming to visit and wants me to feel perfectly at home. There are no problems, only solutions; When I first moved into my apartment, before I bought my Ninja coffee station, I bought a single-cup filter coffee filter which I will bring. As for the air fryer, I lived without one for what – forty-nine years? I can live without one for another week in June.

    The only cheating I did on the program yesterday was an extra meal replacement bar in the evening. I figure I burned a lot of calories on my walk, so an extra 160-calorie bar won’t hurt me. Still and all, the higher-than-yesterday weigh-in bothered me… and I have to remember that it was not a meal replacement bar that caused it.

    I have a lot of work to do today, and I am glad the temptations of good weather for sitting outside are completely absent from the forecast of the day. As HRF Princess Sophie and I took our morning walk, there were cars covered in yesterday’s snow – a true sign that the temperatures had not risen sufficiently to melt it. Additionally, while the wind was certainly blowing unpleasantly this morning, Environment Canada has issued a Special Weather Statement warning of strong winds and wind gusts for this afternoon and evening (with northwesterly winds gusting 70 to 80 km/h). All of that, I assure you, is conducive to my not going outside again today, other than to take my pup-princess for her evening walk. With my frustrations with technology abated (for the moment), I hope to be able to make good headway in putting together the slides for my upcoming class.

    Have a great day folks!

  • One Pound Lost is Three Pounds of Progress

    A pound is a pound, right? By any definition of weights and measures, one-pound equals sixteen ounces. It is very simple.

    In a recent conversation with a friend who is on the same weight loss program as I am, she told me that she had been disappointed that she was only losing one pound per week… but she was finally at peace with that, knowing that she was sticking to the program religiously. She would have to settle for what she was doing.

    I disagreed with her, much to her surprise. I told her that she had not lost a single pound, she had actually lost three. She – along with the others who were involved in the conversation – looked at me confused.

    Let’s look at the math: Take the number 150. If you weigh 150lbs and you lose one pound, you now weigh 149lbs, right? 150-1=149. That is one pound actually lost.

    Weight loss is extremely difficult. It would have been just as easy for her to have not lost that pound. She would not be 149lbs, but still 150lbs. 149+1=150. That is one pound potentially not lost.

    My friend stayed the course of the weight loss program… but what if she had cheated just a little during the week? Say, rather than having two poached eggs and a salad for breakfast on Saturday, she had instead had the bacon cheese omelet with a side of buttered toast? All of a sudden, instead of losing a pound she would actually have been up a pound. 150+1=151. That is one pound possibly gained.

    Every pound lost – nay, every ounce lost, is not only one ounce closer to your goal, it is one ounce you might not have lost, and in fact you might have instead gained. So in fact, every pound lost is not one pound, rather it is those three pounds – the one actually lost, the one potentially not lost, and the one possibly gained.

    In 1990 Paula Abdul had a hit song called Opposites Attract… ‘I take two steps forward; you take two steps back. We come together ‘cos opposites attract.’ While we may support each other, but dieting is an individual event. There are no opposites; the forward steps are successes; the backward steps are setbacks. Staying in place is the eternal glass-half-full question… did I fail for not losing, or did I succeed for not gaining? It all depends on the individual perspective, but the optimist looks at it as a success and the pessimist sees it as a failure.

    Who is right? Neither is… and both are. We all have different personality types. Some people will see the stagnation as a reason to redouble their efforts. “I stayed where I was, but I am optimistic that if I keep at it, I will get past this plateau.” Some will see it as a reason to quit. “I worked so hard on my diet and stayed the same… I might as well quit.” It is important for the pessimist’s support system to remind them how far he or she has come, and how a plateau is a temporary body adjustment. The optimist, on the other hand, might need to be reminded that too many plateaus might mean they need to make a change – in my case, they might suggest I stop adding milk and sugar to my coffee. The point is that both the optimist and the pessimist are right… and at the same time, both might need encouragement and adjustment.

    Progress is what you make of it, whether it is forward progress or the occasional backward progress. The difference between seeing the one-pound weight loss as ‘I only lost one pound’ and ‘Wow! I lost a pound!’ Can be the difference in the future between long-term success and the alternative. Keeping a positive attitude is so important and can propel a stagnating dieter to ultimate success.

  • Day 42

    Whatever discomfort I felt in my foot yesterday was multiplied exponentially this morning. As I can think of no injury or event that might have caused this agony, I must assume it to be a flareup of gout. I have been having issues with gout in my right (and recently injured) foot of late, but this is the first time that the pain is so strong in the left foot. I will survive – it’s painful, but not the worst thing in the world. I’ll take Naproxen twice daily for the next few days and it will clear up.

    Yesterday was another ‘I ate too much’ day. I have to remember that eating too many meal replacements is not much better than eating too much anything else. At least I know that I am not going to the starches and carbs. Today will be a better day!

    My weight-loss advice post from Day 40 got a lot of traction. Until now, my best day on the blog had 42 hits, and it was not uncommon for there to be days with fewer than 5 hits. Yesterday, after I shared the article about unsolicited weight loss advice, those hits shot up… 116 hits yesterday, and 54 hits today (so far). This will be a blip and not a trend I am sure, unless my vitriol encouraged scores of new people to follow my otherwise pretty boring blog daily… and to tell their friends to do that same. Not a worry, I do not plan to try to monetize the blog; I use it to try to stay accountable for my actions and choices.

    I looked up the causes of gout, and came up with the following list, some of which I knew about, others I did not:

    The risk factors which cause excess uric acid include:

    • Excess consumption of meat and seafood
    • Obesity
    • Certain conditions like heart disease, kidney disease
    • Family history
    • Certain medications
    • Age – It usually affects between the ages of 30 and 50
    • Sex – Men are more likely to develop gout

    Let’s review: I am not excessively consuming anything these days, but I am obese. I have no heart or kidney issues (that I know of, although I will have a full physical from my doctor in a couple of months). I do have the family history (my father suffered from gout, and I think my grandfather as well). I am about to hit 50, although I remember gout flareups going back 25 years. I am not on any medications, but I am definitely a man.

    All in all, I have 4/7 of these risk factors. I’ll suck it up, and hopefully as I lose the weight, I will be able to shed one of them. No, I do not plan to cut meat out of my diet, but I will cut my intake of it going forward. Growing old sucks.**

    My game plan for today is to try to limit my intake. I had my breakfast shake, I will have my lunch (chicken and salad) and then my dinner (fish and salad), and then an evening meal replacement bar. If you are wondering why I have two meals planned, I was not paying attention and I defrosted both.

    Have a great day folks!

    **The last time I posted that something sucks, it was dieting. This resulted in the comments that led me to write my ‘screw you and your unsolicited advice’ post. Please do not tell me to not grow old, as the alternative is not a pleasant one.