Losing a part of me

Category: Cheating

  • Day 770

    Yesterday did not go as planned once again. I suppose the big wrecker was that I went to Hamilton to the tailor, only to find out that my appointment is today and not yesterday… even though they sent me an email telling me it was yesterday. I came home and prepared a piece of fish and some rice… and then I had a roll with avocado butter and jam. Added to the fact that I ate so much, I ate it all late. I did not expect any better that I got when I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning… my weight was up a full pound.

    This morning, I had to run out to be at the notary’s office at 8:30am so that I would be back at my desk in time to teach. I am not happy about the documents that I am having notarized (and there will be another one in the next couple of weeks) but I am not ready to discuss it… at least, not here. Maybe in a few days, or weeks… we’ll see. My regular readers can read into the fact that I have not been discussing my wife or my marriage for a few months.

    This evening, I will prepare a light dinner, and then I will head out to my appointment. I will not make a stink about it, but I am a little miffed that I ran out to be there on time, paid for parking, and waited 45 minutes before realizing they were not coming. Yes, it was their mistake. No, I am not going to do anything about it. Mistakes happen. I will go in and pick out a few new shirts… and maybe a sports jacket. Whatever happens, I will not overeat again!

    Okay, it is time for me to start teaching for the day. See you all tomorrow!

  • Day 762

    My bags are mostly packed and I went out for breakfast. I was supposed to meet a friend but he was a no-show… very irregular for him, and I am a little worried. With that said, I know he had a meeting last night where he had to make a speech, and he might have been out very late. I know I will hear from him when he wakes up and he will be extremely sorry. In any event, I had my last breakfast, and have one more meeting with another friend from 11-1, at which point I will grab a taxi to the airport. As much as I hate leaving Havana, I am looking forward to being home for a little while.

    I missed my steps goal yesterday by 500 steps, but only because I ended up walking home after midnight. I was at about 2000 steps by the time I went to bed, so I still hit it. I also had way too much to drink (thanks to my buddy the restaurateur who kept pouring, and then the person who wanted to meet with me to learn about cigars who kept ordering) so I was not really concerned by the steps by 11pm. If I have not lost weight this trip it is because of those two days of alcohol, the pasta I’ve been eating (most meals here involve pork or seafood, and my religious beliefs supersede my weight loss), and the little chocolates that most cafes serve with a cup of coffee. Having said that, I am not worried. If I need to redouble my efforts when I get home then I will.

    Have a great day folks… I’ll see you tomorrow in Canada!

  • Day 759

    Yesterday was another good day… for a lot of reasons. It was also a bad cheat day with regard to my food intake. Lunch was good, and the pizza that I ordered for dinner would have been fine… if Johnny hadn’t ordered another pizza for us to share. I take solace in the fact that I clocked over 21,000 steps yesterday (plus another 3,000 between midnight and bedtime) so hopefully I was able to burn off the calories.

    It is raining today so I am sitting here at my friend’s restaurant trying to decide to go out to head to San Rafael to see another friend. He is waiting for me so I guess I have to go. The big decision is should I detour to my apartment to grab my baseball cap.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 750

    Yesterday was a terrible day for my eating. I had a lovely (but very large) steak for dinner which I had bought at Costco earlier in the day. I also had a lot of peanuts. Stupid stupid stupid! At least I did a 5km jog as well.

  • Day 749

    I seem to be a day behind in my thinking… or I lost a day along the way somewhere. I have been thinking today was Wednesday, so when my countdown timer to my trip showed that I was just under three-days away I was confused. Did I accidentally input Saturday instead of Sunday? No… it turns out I am just a bit skewed. Yes, in sixty-five hours I will be catching my ride to the airport, and by just past noon three days from now I will be in Havana. I can hardly wait!

    I cheated again last night, but apparently not as bad as I had the previous days. My weight dropped all of what I gained yesterday morning, pulling me away from the precipice of that 270 lbs. mark. Still and all, I have to find a way to stop cheating!

    My doctor asked me yesterday if I had considered speaking with a professional about my emotional problems. I told her that I do not feel that I am ready for that. I also assured her that I have a good support system around who I speak to, and who are looking out for me. She also told me that my tests came back clear (although one is still pending), and that she is happy that I am exercising.

    Speaking of exercise: I did a full 5km on the treadmill yesterday, and I did the whole thing at the higher pace of 4.2 mph. My ankle did not hurt, but it did remind me that it was there. Now that I have properly calibrated my fitness watch, it is reporting a pace of 8m50s per kilometre which seems slow to me. I know that when I was running outside last summer, I was doing a kilometre in under 8m, and I am not sure that I was running much harder than I did yesterday. I know that I am just ramping up again, and that I am probably not going quite as fast as I was… but I also suspect it is possible that the treadmill’s calibration might not be exactly right. Oh well… I ran for just under 45 minutes, and that is a win for me by any measure.

    Once I finish this article, I am going to go to run a couple of errands… including the trip to Costco that I have been putting off. I have already taken my gift card and an item I’ve been meaning to return and placed them by the door. I also want to stop at the bank to pick up some US dollars (although I will have to make another trip to the bank to pick up my Euros, but I have my reasons). I will come home and make a reasonable lunch. In the afternoon my friend Eduardo is coming over for a cigar. Hopefully I will have time between these to run on the treadmill, but if not then I will be able to do it this evening. I am serious about getting back into the habit of running, and not just forcing myself to do it. To that end, I need to make sure that I do it when I am in Cuba as well… which means I will be jogging in the streets. That sounds like fun!

    See you tomorrow folks.

  • Day 747

    Okay, repeat after me: I must stop buying breakfast cereal! If it was not for that then I might be okay today. As it is, I am up again. I ate too much of it last night and bang… all of the progress I made over the previous two days is gone. Today I will not cheat.

    My plans for today are to have my lunch, then spend an hour on the treadmill running. No matter what I do, I will still weigh at least 85 lbs. less than my last trip. That does not mean that I would not to lose a couple more pounds between now and Sunday. Hopefully I can make that happen. I might go to Costco as well because I want to take a supply of protein bars to Cuba with me. I have been told that the food situation there is not very good right now, and a buddy told me there is a really good one that they have on sale. If I do not go today then I will definitely go tomorrow.

    I spent the morning smoking a cigar with a friend in Grimsby. I then went to the bank and was home by 1:00pm. I did a few things that needed to be done and am now going to prepare my lunch. It is a beautiful day, so I might spend some time on the balcony after the treadmill and a shower. We’ll see.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 743

    I fell off the wagon again yesterday. I have to stop doing that! All of the weight that I had shed from yesterday is back.

  • Day 740

    Yesterday turned into another ‘off the cliff’ day. I have no idea why I went so crazy with fruit and nuts and dumplings and breads… but I did. I will have to make sure I do better today. The numbers on the bathroom scale this morning were a shock… a four-pound jump? That will teach me to go nuts on carbohydrates… especially later in the evening.

    Today will be better. I hope. I try.

    I’ll tell you tomorrow.

  • Day 724

    Had yesterday gone according to plan I would have been at the airport by 3:45am for a 6:30am flight, and after spending a couple of idle hours at the airport I would have been in Dallas by 9:00am for a full day with Leslie. With the flight cancellation and delays the day went very differently than planned. I was at the airport at 1:30pm for a 5:15pm flight which ended up being delayed by a few hours, which means I landed before 11:00pm. By the time we got to the apartment it was time for bed. Thus, our first actual day together will be today.

    It did not surprise me one bit that my weight jumped up three pounds this morning. Travel days are always bad; travel days that have be sitting in the airport lounge for five hours with diminished self-control and an endless supply of cookies and other snacks will never end well. While I will not be strict with my diet this week, I do not plan to let myself go like I did yesterday. Hopefully a couple of those pounds will come off before I fly home Wednesday evening.

    When most people think of the weather in Texas, we do not expect cold and blustery. The fact that it is currently colder here than it is in Toronto, and that the temperatures are not predicted to rise above the freezing point until Wednesday, makes me wonder what exactly the 1400 miles of latitude are good for. There is little chance that Leslie and I will sit outside to enjoy a cigar at any point this trip, and the only place we will actually smoke is at my lounge. Okay, I can live with that. I am relieved though that there is no snow or ice forecast these next few days. I remember when I was here a year ago for the ice storm when everything shut down for three days – stores, restaurants, everything – and we were sequestered in the apartment with whatever supplies we had. At least if things are open we can get out… beyond walking the dog, which will be a cold endeavour that is no different than what Princess Sophie and I go through on a daily basis in the winter in Canada.

    I started my day with a cup of coffee, but I plan to make the same sort of breakfast that I would if I was at home. Hopefully that will be a good way to get back on track. Start with the basics, and a healthy breakfast.

  • Day 695

    While the dental surgery did not necessarily curb my eating, I was relieved to see a fair drop on the bathroom scale this morning. What will today bring? I don’t know… but I am trying to start moving forward on a lot of things, and my eating will be a part of that.