I knew yesterday was going to be hard. I am indeed over 270 lbs. this morning. It is now time for me to redouble my efforts and get my ass in gear. No more cheating!
Category: Cheating
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Day 534
I fell off the deep end again yesterday and I have to get a handle on myself. I have to stop going on these evening binges. Why can’t I just eat my dinner, and then be satisfied? This struggle is real, and I have to figure out a way to stop sliding backwards. I have come too far to let that happen.
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Day 532
It is strange to wake up on my birthday and not realize it until I looked at my phone and started receiving messages. I will thank all of my friends for the kind wishes. I expect to receive far fewer wishes this year than last, owing to my culling my ‘friends’ list by about 70%. I am fine with that. Today is going to just be another ordinary day. A buddy invited me over to his place for cigars in the afternoon, but aside from that I have no plans that differ greatly from whatever I did any other day this week. Well, that is not entirely true… After I finish this journal entry, I will go to Starbucks to pick up a free coffee. I am not going to take advantage of most of the ‘birthday freebies’ out there, but I think that Leslie and I spend enough money with them for overpriced drinks that we can enjoy a free overpriced drink on each of our birthdays.
I cheated on my diet last night. It was a long and stressful evening (what with class and all) so I had to go out to help a friend with their computer after class. I stopped and bought a bag of potato chips. I should not have done that, and I paid the price. I gained a full pound over yesterday morning’s weigh-in. There are cheats that I can make exceptions for and there are cheats that I have no excuse for and should really know better. Yesterday evening’s chips fell into that second category. I feel like a failure for it… but I also know that beating myself up over it is not the answer. The answer is trying to do better today.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 522
The last few days were hard for me. Today will be a little better, and tomorrow better yet. That is the only thing I can aspire to. I want to get back onto the wagon. I am happy that I did not gain weight during Leslie’s two-week visit, but I do feel that I was doing much better and then lost ground these last few days. After I dropped her off at the airport I returned home to a slew of leftovers and a feeling of sadness that had the fridge calling me.
The weather today will be the deciding factor on if I jog or not. It has been raining on and off all morning and is forecast to do so until just after 5:00pm, but if it is more of a drizzle then I might just suit up and brave it anyways. As we drove yesterday we were on a road that I have jogged a few times and I said to Leslie that I should jog there this week. I then realized we were far enough from home that it would require a nearly-10km loop to get there, and that I would be smart to lower my expectations of myself for my first week back at it. Last week I jogged a few times, doing two or three kilometres before slowing to a walk. If in the next few days I can get that up to a 5km run then I will be happy.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 520
Yesterday went about as planned, and I regret nothing. The rich creamy mushroom pasta I enjoyed for dinner was delicious; so was the chocolate tartuffo I had for desert. Today we are having toasted challah for breakfast before I go to the café to pick up our morning drinks. We will meet my sons for lunch at a Greek restaurant. I will be mindful these next two days, but I will resume a stricter diet and exercise regimen on Monday.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 519
We are out and about early and I wanted to leave a placeholder in case I forgot. I cheated way too much yesterday and I paid for it. Will do better.
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It is now late afternoon and two of our three social engagements are behind us, with one more to go. All of them involve food. We had to leave the apartment early this morning because the lines in the parking lot were being painted, so after I came in from walking the Princess we headed out for breakfast. I ordered avocado toast which I consider a good decision. We had lunch with Lyle and Dorothy who prepared a delicious chicken salad with a miso dressing which was also delicious, also a good decision. We met Dimitrios for afternoon tea where I ordered a café latté and a flatbread, which was not a great decision, but I did so with my eyes open. This evening we will meet Eduardo and Gladys for dinner at a favourite Italian restaurant of ours. While it will not be a diet meal by any stretch, I am nonetheless confident that I can order smartly and eat well without going completely off the rails. I do not expect the numbers on the bathroom scale to be down tomorrow morning, but I also do not expect them to be a total shock.
I knew in advance that there would be no opportunity to exercise today, which was not terrible because according to my fitness watch my Body Battery (which has been low all week) has not risen above 45 today. My last three days of exercising have not seen it rise much above that, with lows at night between 3-5. My body needed a day to recover. I will try to get out for a jog tomorrow morning, but we will see how I feel… and how the morning shapes up.
Speaking of tomorrow, I suspect that around mid-morning we will partake in our traditional latté and cigars on the balcony. We are meeting my sons for lunch at Colossus where I can be smart with what I order. Knowing where we are dining tomorrow to celebrate our wedding anniversary I will try to eat very healthy during the day. I also plan to avoid meat, as we are going to a steakhouse for dinner.
For those readers who came late to my journey, your confusion is understandable. After all, it was less than two months ago that I wrote about our fabulous wedding in California. That was our religious wedding, and beginning next year it will be the one that we celebrate. Last June we got married in a civil ceremony with a judge. We discussed it and decided that this year we would celebrate the first, and beginning next year we will celebrate only the religious anniversary. I’m glad I was able to clear that up for you.
Today was another anniversary of sorts. Four years ago today I drove out to Beverly Hills to adopt Her Royal Floofness, Princess Sophie. She spent the day playing with Charlie, but when we return home she will get a special treat to celebrate.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 514
As Leslie and I sit in the garden oasis of our bed and breakfast enjoying our cigars and lattés I am in bliss and do not want this weekend to come to an end. Alas, dark becomes day and the day turns to night. It has been exactly as planned with no stress, anxiety, or deadlines.
We enjoyed a Greek meal for lunch yesterday and we lamented how difficult it can be to keep within the dietary constraints of our faith, which severely limits our choices at restaurants. On the flip side of that, I think that by not being able to mix the meat with dairy keeps my eating somewhat healthier than it I was not following to rules. At the very least it makes me think about everything I am going to eat before I order it. As such we have not eaten any meat since Thursday. It has allowed us to enjoy dishes with cheese, and if we chose to we could also have ice cream (as we did following our Italian dinner).
While I am not sure where my weight will be tomorrow morning, I am not terribly concerned. It would not have been difficult to eat so that I would gain five pounds this weekend. I do not think that I will have gained more than a pound… if that. It definitely could have been worse.
While we did not order drinks with dinner, we did buy a bottle of Niagara sparkling wine which we shared with cigars after dinner. That makes two bottles of wine in two nights, plus the beer that I drank with dinner Friday. That is more than I have had to drink in a long time. I did not feel drunk either night, and I also do not think the wine will be a major contributing factor to weight gain… and we enjoyed ourselves. We will likely not drink tonight, but tomorrow I will open a bottle of 10-year-old port to pair with my cigar for the sommelier class. I am not a big drinker, but should be able to integrate reasonable consumption of alcohol into my life when the mood hits me.
It is another lovely day in Niagara, and I am going back to enjoying it with my wife.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 511
The long days are definitely taking a toll on my weight, inasmuch as I am forced to dine after 9:00pm. Last night’s spaghetti was quite tasty, but it was also heavy. Fortunately today is the last day that I am working 9-9. Tomorrow I will finish my class and Leslie and I will get in the car for our romantic getaway to Niagara.
I accomplished what I planned to this morning. I picked up my dry cleaning and my prescriptions, as well as a couple of odds and ends at the supermarket. I was quite tempted to pick up a small little nibble to supplement my breakfast, but in the end, I decided that it would be a bad idea. My choices were to either buy something very small (which I did not come across), or to buy something large (which would have been left over and thus Leslie would have seen my cheat), or to buy something very unhealthy. At the druggist I saw individual-sized bags of potato chips, and wisely decided not to indulge. I came home and am now working on my second cup of coffee.
I discussed with Leslie a possible solution for the late-night eating. I will make a pizza for us for dinner (we still have the second cauliflower crust that we picked up at Costco), which I can eat quickly while my students are doing their labs. That way we can eat at a reasonable hour.
I could hardly believe how exhausted I was last night. It is not often that I fall asleep that quickly, but I did… Leslie could see it as soon as we sat down to dinner. I tried to fight it. I thought about suggesting we sit out on the balcony with a cigar, but I would not have gotten through half of a small stick. We were in bed at a very reasonable hour (which is rare for me) and I was probably asleep before 10:30pm. I woke up mostly refreshed, and hope that I will be able to navigate this last long day better than I did yesterday.
It is time to get moving. Have a great day folks!
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Day 502
I have to get back on track, but I am glad that my slip has not been as bad this time as it was a few weeks ago. I am still under 260 lbs. which is not ideal, but it is still better than when I ballooned to 267 when I came back from Dallas.
Last night I was hungry, so I had a shake, but I was still not satisfied. I decided to make an omelette which did satisfy my hunger without cheating too badly. With that said, I ate too late last night, and I paid the price. It might have been worse… when I stepped onto the bathroom scale before bed the number was truly frightening, and I was sure that this morning I would see a huge jump. Fortunately, despite not being successful with my bowels this morning, my weight was higher… but not nearly as high as last night’s number hinted at.
This weekend I have to get back on track with my running. I have not been jogging these last few weeks, owing partly to my schedule but also something else. After a couple of weeks without doing it I am now afraid that starting again I will fail. I have to get past that, and I will. If I am not able to get out sooner, then I plan to lace up Saturday morning for a good outing. There is a possibility I will be able to go between classes Thursday, or even after class on Friday. I know how important it is, so I am going to try for at least one if not both of those. I do not have to break any records, I just need to get active again. Even if I only jog a couple of kilometres and then walk to finish a five kilometre circuit then I will consider it a success. Anything more will just be gravy.
After class today a friend is bringing his computer over for help, and then we will likely smoke a cigar. I am teaching in the evening, so he will have to be out by 5:15pm or so, but it will be nice to spend a couple of hours with him. It will be nicer if the issues with his computer are not serious and only take a few minutes to resolve. More often than not that is what will happen. We will see.
My goal for today is to not cheat! I have been going overboard these last few days and I have to stop doing that. I did not make an omelette this morning – that was not because I did not want one or because I had one last night, but I was a bit lazy this morning and then Princess Sophie wanted to spend more time socializing on her walk than usual. I will make my usual midday meal which I will eat before my friend comes over. I am going to set a reminder to prepare a meal replacement shake during the break in my evening class. If I can stick to that then I should be able to stop the slide that I have been on these last few days.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 501
I ate more than I should have yesterday, and I paid the price for it on the bathroom scale this morning. Not only did I eat too much, I also ate too late. I have to stop doing that. I do not know what possessed me at 7:15pm to decide to make myself a plate of spaghetti. I did, and boom! I will do better today.
My office area is completely transformed, and I am absolutely thrilled! I have everything set up exactly the way I want. The only decision I was on the fence about was whether to set up my primary desk as the one against the wall, or the other one which is perpendicular to it. The downside of choosing that one (which I did) is that the back of the desk, with exposed cables and monitors, faces the kitchen. I decided that was a better option than the alternative, which would have had my cameras facing both my bedroom and the bathroom. I have tried to be ever vigilant when I work from that desk to keep both of those doors closed when I was on camera, but I have occasionally forgotten. I have also remembered to turn off the camera when going to the bathroom, which is none of my students’ business. I have never forgotten to close the door while actually using the bathroom, but going in and out can be delicate. Now the only thing that I am missing is a cable long enough to plug my main laptop into my managed switch… Yes, I really have one of those.
(I should mention that another disadvantage to choosing the other desk would have been needing to adjust the top shelves, which need to be screwed and unscrewed carefully. One more disadvantage would have been that while the backs of monitors and cables face the kitchen now, the alternative would have been having two full shelves of books facing the kitchen, which I thought was a worse alternative. G-d forbid my sink explodes, I would have to replace a monitor or two. Some of those books are irreplaceable, dating to the 1890s.)
My productive day yesterday did not stop when I was finished organizing my office. I broke down all of the boxes that I have had accumulating the last month and took them to the recycling. I took all of my luggage (which has been sitting in the corner of my room since I was getting ready to go to Dallas) down to my locker. I also pulled out the tools and fixed the handle on my front door, which was loose and ready to come off in my hand at any moment. I admit that I was not so sure about how that one would go, and if I might not need to enlist the services of a handyman for it. I used to be pretty handy, but it has been a very long time since I have tried to do anything like that. I felt a great sense of accomplishment when it was done… and properly done at that. I hung up the half-dozen or so jackets and vests that were draped over chairs and couches. I folded the outstanding laundry (although now that I think of it, I suspect I have another load in the dryer that I will need to address today). I even put a broken chair into the car and took it to a dumpster (that I am not technically supposed to use). I took most of my martial arts weapons and put them into my Taekwondo sparring bag (not the one I would take to class today) and put that in the storage locker as well. After a very productive Sunday, my apartment is more organized than it has been in a very long time.
At the end of my nearly seven hours of productive work, I should not have rewarded myself with a plate of pasta after my cut-off time. I will have to remember that. The simple equation is that when I am mindful, I lose weight, and when I am not then I do not. Really, Mitch… this is not Rocket Science. Stop doing stupid things like that!
It is going to be a lovely day today, and I would like to take full advantage of that… but alas, my schedule will not permit me to. After class I will prepare my lunch, and then I have a meeting with my cousin who wants help with her IT environment. After that, I will take Her Royal Floofness for a long walk and I will time it so that I can be back in time to set up my environment on the balcony for this evening’s cigar class. It will be busy, but I am excited by just about everything I have on my list for the day. I am even excited to discuss software troubleshooting with my students for the next four hours.
I will stay mindful, and I will get through the day… and tomorrow morning the numbers on the bathroom scale will be better than they were today.
Have a great day folks!
