Losing a part of me

Category: Eating

  • Day 1085

    I was in front of my computer all day yesterday, but I was busy most of the day and forgot to post. My weight has crept up two pounds these last couple of days. This, despite my eating pretty smartly. I am not happy about it.

    I had to be up early this morning to drive to a doctor’s appointment in Vaughan, which for those of you not hip to the geography of the GTA is about 75km from here… and for a 9:15am appointment that meant getting up very early and bracing myself for a long drive. I am glad that I was home at a reasonable hour. I had lunch and answered some emails. Now I have to get ready to head to Grimsby for the evening. Another long day. Tonight is my Lodge’s chili night. I am not particularly looking forward to it, but a couple of the brethren told me they are preparing the chili special for my religious dietary requirements. I’ll have a reasonable helping.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1081

    My sleep score last night was an 85, the second highest it has been since my hip started to cause me problems. I should mention that there was one night that I did not wear my fitness watch to bed, which is odd for me, but I just forgot to put it on after I got out of the shower. In any event, I feel well rested this morning. I also feel for the first time in a week that there is marked improvement to my hip; to be clear, the improvement has nothing to do with pain medicines (although they have helped keep me somewhat sane). No, I felt real improvement before I got out of bed, which means before I took my pill. I am relieved that it seems to be on the mend. I have been extremely unhappy these last few days, even snapping at people who did not deserve it. I will apologize to them both. Now let’s hope and pray than my hip and leg continue to improve!

    What has not been improving is my weight. I have gained a tremendous amount of weight this past week, partly due to stress-eating to try to relieve the pain. That never works of course, but gaining weight does. My weight this morning is a disgusting amount over the terrible mark. I need to get back on track. Hopefully the lessening of my pain will help with that. I need to get down to a reasonable weight, and that will need to start with depriving myself of certain things. Hopefully by mid-week I will be able to exercise again, but until that is the case I cannot touch another carbohydrate, starting now.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1073

    Yesterday was my big event. A few weeks ago, at Lodge a couple of the brethren expressed interest in the Jewish festival Chanukah, and I got the idea of inviting a few of them to light candles together. When I discussed the idea with the other Jewish member of the Lodge, the idea blossomed into an evening at his house. With twenty-five people in attendance, I was excited to deliver the presentation that I put together, which turned into a seven page, fifteen-minute talk. It was very well received, and a good time was had by all.

    The host is an East-Indian Jew, and so that was the theme of the food. Before everyone else arrived, he showed me which dishes I would be able to eat (butter chicken made with cashew butter so that it was kosher), some of which came home with me as leftovers. Everything was absolutely delicious, and I felt like I was bursting at the seams. The only concession I made to being cognizant of my diet was opting to cut a sufganiya (traditional jelly doughnut) in half rather than eating a whole one.

    I was convinced that this morning I would not see any progress on the bathroom scale, despite the disastrous number I saw yesterday. No, I was quite pleased by the drop. I did not lose all of the four pounds I had gained the previous day, but I did shed most of it. I am still above the terrible mark, but not nearly as badly as it could have been… or was yesterday.

    My original plan was to resume my program on the first of January. This morning my friends who had invited me for New Years Eve informed me they had to cancel, and so I will be staying home and enjoying a cigar date with my wife to ring in 2025. This means that with regards to food overindulgence, my holidays are over. Well, almost… tomorrow evening I will spend with my sons, and I expect they will have some goodies to share. But that’s it. I have some leftovers in the fridge, but that’s it. I can breathe a sigh of relief, and hopefully get back on track a bit earlier.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1063

    This morning I saw the largest single-day weight increase that I can remember, It was a kick in the gut, and a definite reminder that I enjoyed last night’s Christmas dinner a little too much. I do better today… but just the fact that I will not be eating cookies for dessert means I will be doing better than yesterday. I fell off the wagon hard yesterday, but it was a single day fall and today I am getting right back onto the horse. I do not know if I will be exercising today, but aside from breakfast (which is behind me) I will be eating smart today.

    Add to the food, my steps-goal streak came to an end yesterday (as I knew that it would). My new best is seventeen days, and sometime in the future I am sure I will try to top that. That attempt will not start today, but that does not mean that I will not try to exercise. I just hope that my knee holds up.

    My next huge challenge is next week when I go to my friends’ house for Christmas dinner. Until then, I have to be good… and get back down below the terrible mark that I shot past this morning.

    Have a great day, folks.

  • Day 1052

    I had a very difficult day yesterday. I broke down and bought chicken and vegetables and ate a late lunch (or early dinner). To be clear, I do not believe that I overate. I am also proud of myself that despite my intense desire to do so, I did not buy any bread. As bad as the day was, it could have been a lot worse. I also ran on the treadmill for 3.5km – the first run in nearly a year. I slept poorly, and did gain a bit of weight this morning. Stress and anxiety are real killers for weight loss.

    This morning I am going for breakfast with some of the people from the lodge. As the lodge is currently the primary source of my stress and anxiety, I am not sure how breakfast will go. We will see. After breakfast I will be meeting a couple of friends for cigars, and then I will come home. Eduardo is coming over in the afternoon.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 1043

    As planned, I drove to Niagara Falls, NY with my buddy yesterday. As expected, I had no issues with the cigars that I declared. I was quite proud of myself that even though I walked into Wegmans (and a few other stores that sell lots of tasty things) I did not buy anything. The only thing I ate was once I had dropped Mitchell off, I stopped at Bulk Barn and picked up a handful of almonds. I really should get into the habit of bringing protein bars in the car with me… just in case. In fact, I think I will take a couple down with me when I go out.

    Okay, I just took two protein bars out and left them near the door where I will not (or at least should not) forget them.

    I returned home from Niagara Falls earlier than I had expected, and since I had not slept very well, I was tired and tried to nap. I rested, but did not manage to fall asleep. At a certain point I gave up and decided to walk… indoors. I cleaned out the area under the treadmill and suited up. I turned on the TV and walked for seventy minutes. My decision to walk specifically for that long was because I wanted to replicate the walking from the two previous days, allowing me to properly recalibrate my fitness watch’s treadmill pace. I don’t think the calibration is exactly right… but it is much better than it was.

    A complete breakfast, a handful of almonds, two meal replacement shakes, and a 7.3km walk on the treadmill. All in all, that accounts to a pretty good day for my program. The results? My weight this morning was down nearly two pounds from yesterday, which comes to a two-day loss of 5.4 lbs., bringing me to within half a pound of that horrible mark. How cool would it be if I could cross under that threshold tomorrow or Saturday? Step one: DO NOT CHEAT.

    This afternoon I am heading out to Grimsby for a cigar with Mitchell before we head to a meeting at the Lodge. I am going to walk on the treadmill before I go so that I can get some exercise in. The variable steps-goal on my fitness watch is now up to nearly 11,000 steps per day, and I would like to extend my current streak to four days. Let’s see if I can do it!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1040

    I was a bit surprised to see that my weight was up slightly this morning, but not terribly so. Today I will be eating the last of the chicken that I have in the house, and starting tomorrow I will be eating breakfast and then only meal replacements for the rest of the day. If my knee holds out I will also start walking. In fact, It looks to be a pretty nice day out today (albeit chilly), so I may go for a walk after my appointment.

    I do not know if this is the time that I will start and get all the way to my goal weight, but I am going to try. To that end, I printed a new fridge chart to encourage me. I have to do more than print papers though; I need to redouble my efforts and make it happen. I have to stop eating but more than that I need to stop cheating. I need to change my attitude toward food, and I need to once and for all break the unhealthy relationship that I have with food.

    While I am planning to walk outside today (with high temperatures of 7°C (41°F), I just went into my bedroom and cleaned everything off the treadmill. If it is my intention to use it this winter to keep active, then I have to as of right now stop using it to hang clothes. Yes, that stereotype is real… except in my case it will be temporary.

    Yes, I went to the supermarket yesterday. Knowing that I have a meal or two left, I purchased vegetables so that I can have a salad with them. I also bought a handful of trail mix which I should not have done… but I also thought about buying breakfast cereal and stopped myself. A smaller transgression is better than a larger one.

    I finally got a good night’s sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed, and while my body battery was low from the time I woke up, the 80 on my sleep score was a relief to see. I will try to sleep well again tonight and am hoping that if I do exercise then it will contribute to that.

    When I picked up my prescription meds yesterday, I also took the opportunity to get my Covid-19 and Flu vaccines. I have still had no ill effects and hope this proactive measure will help to keep me healthy.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1013

    I told Leslie last night that I was happy with both my eating and my activity of the day yesterday, and that I was hoping to see a significant drop on the bathroom scale this morning. I expected to lose at least a full pound from yesterday. When I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning I was shocked… and disbelieving. I was hoping to drop below 302. When I stepped off the scale I allowed it to clear and stepped on again. I could not believe that I had dropped over six pounds. While I am excited to see my weight drop (significantly) below the 300 pounds mark, I am skeptical that the drop is more than a blip. Do not misunderstand me… I am thrilled and grateful, but I am not expecting to even maintain that level tomorrow and Thursday. We will see.

    With all of that said, yesterday was a good day for my program. Breakfast was my usual omelette. I went to the supermarket in the morning to pick up food for dinner, and decided to also pick up a couple of salads for Leslie and I to enjoy for lunch. For dinner I prepared seared tuna steaks with white rice. After lunch I went for a 6.5km walk which made me feel great, although it also reminded me of the importance of throwing out socks when they have holes in the heels. Not only did that slow my overall pace a little, but I also came home with blisters on my heel. For that reason, as well as because of what my schedule looks like today, I am taking the day off from walking. With that said, yesterday I decided to power-walk at least 24km over the rest of my stay in Dallas, and I knocked out more than 25% of that goal yesterday.

    When I returned home, I felt my tummy talking to me, but not of hunger. I knew that I had not been moving my bowels very well the last few days and I thought I was probably a little backed up. I tried to move them before I showered but had very little to show for the attempt. When I was all clean, I decided to lie down for a nap. Five minutes into the nap I felt the urge and was finally able to void my system. I felt somewhat better, but not completely. Thirty minutes later I found myself running back to the loo and repeated my previous success. I was finally feeling better. I know you are asking so the answer is yes, those combined successes certainly contributed to this morning’s weight loss. I do not know if it really accounts for a 6+ pound drop, but it certainly helped.

    With all of that, my sleep score last night dropped to 72, which is the lowest in three or four days. I woke up reasonably well rested, but I know I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night. Hopefully it will be better tonight.

    In my entry yesterday I enumerated four points that I need to follow in order to resume my successful weight loss. One of those points was to not eat food that is bad for my weight loss. Leslie had asked me if I know that I should not be eating something then why do I have it in the house? She is right. I need to stop buying food I know will be detrimental to my weight loss goals. As an example, a few weeks ago I bought a box of breakfast cereal. I know that breakfast cereal is, as a category, all terrible for weight loss. With that said, I like it, and it is not difficult to convince myself that if I buy it then I will eat it in moderation, and that it will not have a terrible effect on my body. The flaw in that logic is that I am still terrible at the moderation part, and so seldom will a box of breakfast cereal brought into my kitchen last three days. Leslie is so right about this… I have to stop buying it. So many people do not understand why I am doing my grocery shopping three or four times per week. It is because I know that if I have more in my kitchen I will be tempted to eat more. I need to work on this, but until I have mastered it I have to:

    1. Continue doing my grocery shopping several times per week; and
    2. Not allow myself to purchase anything that I can easily overeat.

    I have written in this journal times that losing weight is simple, but it is not easy. As a cybersecurity guy I continue to tell my students that we can implement every security tool available, but the weak link of the chain is always the human factor. Likewise, my weak link is my willpower which is something that I really have to continue to work on. It will come.

    In the meantime, I am hoping to fit into at least a couple of my tailored sports coats next week, and I will continue to powerwalk… either outside or, if the weather is not cooperative, on my treadmill.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1008

    Despite the disgusting weight gain of yesterday morning I was happy to order Chinese food to enjoy with my wife for dinner last night. It was not a good choice, but we were both tired and it was her suggestion. I also decided to have a dram of whisky with our cigar on the balcony, and it turned out that it was needed because it was a very emotional conversation. As hard as it is to hear the outpouring of emotion from my beautiful wife, we both find it so much better when I am here so I can hold her and comfort her. This whole ‘living in different countries’ thing is getting old.

    With all of that, I was relieved if somewhat surprised this morning when I saw that I had lost all of the weight that I had gained yesterday. That 2.2 lbs. jump killed me, and seeing it reversed was a real relief. I wonder how much it helped that yesterday midday I was finally able to have a really good bowel movement.

    Today is a new day and I am likely going to have a chicken salad for lunch. For dinner I am planning to buy a nice piece of fish that I will prepare to a recipe that my buddy Lyle gave me the other day, which will be completely different from how I usually prepare it. I am excited to try it. I also know that if it is a complete failure then I can throw it out and we can defrost something from the freezer.

    It is Thursday today and I have two more teaching days before the weekend. I am enjoying the class, but I am really looking forward to not having to work full time next week. I do have some work that needs to be done, but I will also have the freedom to power-walk almost every day. I need to get active again… it has been too long (nearly a month) since I was able to.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 1002

    Lodge hurt my diet… but not terribly. I actually dropped a very small amount of weight this morning, but just imagine how much more it could have been if the lodge that we visited last night did not serve the meal after lodge (at 10:30pm), and if they had not served pulled pork (leaving me to eat a roll and then a piece of cake). Still, I did not do too badly.

    In thirty-six hours I am flying to Texas, and I am counting down the minutes.

    Have a great evening folks!