Losing a part of me

Category: Eating

  • Day 932

    I did not expect it, but my weight dropped nearly three pounds from yesterday. I did not expect it because around 10:45pm last night my knee was in so much pain that I needed to take a double dose of the anti-inflammatory meds, which meant that I had to eat. I had a challah roll and two yoghurts. I always assume that no matter how well I did the rest of the day, when I eat bread after 9:00pm then the following morning’s weight will not be a good one. I was worried that my weight would be above that dreadful number for a second day in a row. Fortunately, it was not. I might not be breathing easy about that if I cannot keep myself on the right track going forward.

    Tomorrow is going to be an incredible day for me, but it is going to start very early. I am picking my buddy up at the airport at 5:15am, which means that my alarm is set for 4:00am. I have to shower and shave, and I have to be dressed in a suit and tie for the morning. It is exciting… and nerve wracking. I won’t go into detail, but tomorrow should be a day that I will not soon forget. There will be a celebration in my honour after all is said and done, and I just have to remember to keep my eating in check.

    I have an appointment with my doctor in a little while. It is for a yearly checkup, which means that she will have checked my blood and EKG results from last week. I am not worried about anything, but I do want to discuss my knee with her. I am hoping that it is just a flareup of gout, but we will see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 930

    Thank G-d my weight dropped below that horrible number this morning. I will eat as I did yesterday, which is to say that I will have lunch, and then in the evening I will have a meal replacement.

    My knee is feeling somewhat better than it was a couple of days ago. I am still in pain, but not the debilitating pain that I was in a couple of days ago. I have cut the meds to one pill three times per day instead of two pills. I am also using the Voltaren cream pretty liberally, but not as often as it was. I will ice it this evening as well.

    I am stressed about the class I am delivering tomorrow. I think I am as prepared as I am ever going to be… but I really wish I had not agreed to teach it. My goal for today is to not eat my stress and anxiety.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 912

    My weight dropped to exactly 290 lbs. this morning, which is a decent drop, but not as much as it would have been had I not had the challah last night to say the blessing. Not sorry at all.

    Frankly, I am sure my weight would have dropped a bit more had I voided my bowels before weighing myself. Let me rephrase, because I actually did… but after I finished walking Her Floofness, I started making breakfast and felt the urge; too many things were on the go already (on the stove, etc.) so I decided not to. After breakfast, I had another significant bowel movement, and suspect it would have been an even more substantial loss. Oh well!

    My plans for today are a bit up in the air, but I am hoping that they firm up quickly. Whatever happens, I am going to try to be disciplined with food.

    ***

    I posted the following on my Facebook wall last night:

    There is hope!

    I was sitting in the barber’s chair discussing some of the anti-Israel Nazi protesters. She and I have known each other over a year, and she knows my position. I said something about the ‘Israel’s genocide of the poor innocent Hamas supporters in Gaza (sarcastically). The gentleman sitting waiting for the other barber loudly said ‘Excuse me? Do you really believe that garbage? All of the protesters are really just antisemites who hate Jews.’

    In nine months this was not nearly the first time that someone has agreed with me on the issue… but it was the first time anyone who did not know me stood up and said ‘HEY! The Jews have a right to exist and defend themselves and to get their hostages back by any means necessary.’ I asked the barber to give me a minute… I pulled off the cape to reveal my Israeli flag pin and my yellow ribbon pin. I told him my REAL position. I then thanked him for helping to restore my faith in humanity… if only for a minute, and if only a little bit.

    The Holocaust did not happen because EVERY German was a Nazi and agreed with the Nazis. It happened because good people stayed silent because they did not think it was their business to get involved.

    SPEAK UP! What we are seeing today is not different from Germany in the 1930s. The only difference today is that WE – Israel and the IDF – are stronger and smarter and know what’s at stake. Most of us don’t believe that ‘It can’t happen again’ because our parents said that and IT HAPPENED. With all of the lies and vitriol being spread it sometimes feels like we are alone… and if that’s what is going to be then we’ll face it alone… and we’ll win. But man, does it feel good to know that we still have some righteous gentiles who are willing to speak up for the side of right.

    If you think it won’t make a difference, then let me tell you something… this guy made my week. I’ve not been having a good time of it lately, but this guy really fed my soul and showed me that we may feel isolated… but we are not.

    I wish I got his name… I wish I had told him what his standing up for my country and my people meant to me. I wish I could have given him a hug. Thank you, Sir.

    If you think it doesn’t matter to anyone, trust me… this man meant everything to me.

    ***

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 902

    It was all that I could do to not cry as I dropped Leslie off at the airport this morning. We got up as usual, so after my morning rituals I took Her Royal Floofness out for a very short walk… as I suspected it would be as soon as I realized that it was or had been raining. Let me be perfectly clear, I would have taken her on her usual 1.5km circuit of the park; my dog just does not like the wet. Anyhow, we came back into the apartment and Leslie was finishing up her packing. I made a half pot of coffee, knowing that we would be having breakfast out, but that after breakfast I would be in the car for 90 minutes to and from the airport.

    I was pleasantly surprised to discover that even after yesterday’s sushi meal (followed by a decadent piece of chocolate cake) my weight was still down a bit this morning. That means that even with the jump in weight from my birthday celebration, my weight is still lower than it was on any day since Leslie arrived… and since June 30. Yay!

    Our final morning together of this trip was mostly subdued. We were both sad that she has to fly back to Dallas today, so we were not happy and joyous. We are going to miss each other terribly… and I am going to have to find a way to plan a trip down to Dallas sometime next month.

    I was hoping that my buddy Mitchell would come over in the afternoon for a cigar and to discuss some of my emotional issues, but he had to cancel. Okay, I’ll just make it through the day. After lunch I have a meeting about a project I am working on, and then after that I would like to record a video for my class’s graduation which is two weeks from today. That means that I will be dressing up fancy… but I do not want to wear the same outfit for the video as I will for the class. I’ll have to make a wardrobe change in between.

    Other than that, I have some studying to do for an exam I am sitting this weekend, and I hope to be able to read a little from my book. Yes, it is that time of year again, when my favourite living fiction author releases his new novel. I downloaded it onto my eBook reader on Wednesday, and while Leslie worked yesterday afternoon, I read the first few chapters. That will accompany my cigar after my meeting today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 900

    Can you all believe that today is the 900th day of my weight loss journey? With all of its ups and downs, I am happy that I am many clothes sizes and over a hundred pounds. I have lost some ground since my best weight ever, but I will be working to get back there. My weight will be a lifelong struggle, and to forget that would be disastrous.

    Despite enjoying a delicious dinner at The Keg (after which we shared the Billy Miner Pie… look it up if you don’t know), my weight was down significantly this morning from yesterday. While I did not drop all of the 2.6 lbs. that I added from the backyard birthday party, a significant portion did melt away. It was a relief that my weight did not go up!

    I love having my wife here with me for so many reasons. One of those reasons is that she helps me to make better food choices. That is not to say that she tells me ‘Oh don’t eat that!’ but rather knowing that she is here, I have fewer emotional and psychological reasons to overeat. Yes, I had chips at the birthday party… but I only had a few bites of the cake. It could easily have gone much worse than it did. Birthdays are birthdays, and we have to make some exceptions sometimes.

    My plan for the next couple of days is to enjoy as much time with her as I can. We both hate that she has to return to Texas Wednesday. Our visits are too short, but until I get my Green Card processed, that’s how we have to make our relationship work. We are almost always happy when we are together, but the parting is always extremely sad.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 899

    The birthday barbecue that Mitchell and I threw for each other yesterday was a lot of fun. It was the first time Leslie got to meet some of the Lodge brothers, and we had a great time. We (that is to say I) ate way too much. While everything was all delicious, I was not consciously making good food choices. I knew that when I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning my weight would be up significantly. I suspect that had I been able to successfully move my bowels it would not have been as bad, but I was still not upset with myself for the 2.4 lbs. Increase.

    This morning, I prepared an omelette for Leslie and me, and it was quite tasty. For lunch, we shared some leftovers. This evening, she is taking me for dinner at The Keg, which has become a birthday tradition for us. I expect that following this evening’s meal, my weight will once again be up tomorrow. On Thursday I will resume eating carefully.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 891

    It was a relief to see my weight drop by 1.4 lbs. this morning. I have not been doing very well with my eating, but I did a little bit better yesterday than I have been.

    I was supposed to take my son (the younger) for lunch today, but his mother asked me to change that to tomorrow, which means that tomorrow I will be eating two meals out, as there is a meeting on men’s mental health for a group that one of my Lodge brothers runs, so I promised to be there. I will do my best to stay on track with my eating at both meals. I recall that my last lunch with my sons was doable because of how I ordered, so if he insists on returning to the same restaurant, then I will order the same meal.

    I have had two good trips to the toilet thus far today. I expect that my body is getting back to whatever it feels normal is. I did have a meal replacement shake last night, to which I added a teaspoon of fibre powder. I was quite worried about that, but so far so good.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 890

    I did not gain any weight this morning, but I also did not lose any. I have essentially fallen off the wagon these last couple of days (I think I am doing better today), but I am trying to get myself back on track. That is not to say that I want to be back on the program just yet, because I do not. I will take it up again once Leslie’s visit is over. It is just too hard (both emotionally and physically) to get onto the program… and then to only do it for a few days would be agony.

    After several days of nothing, I have finally been able to move my bowels well today… twice. It was a relief to be able to do so before I took Her Floofness for her walk this morning, but to be able to do it again around noon was great relief… literally.

    I slept more last night than I had the previous two nights, but I am not sure how good the sleep was. According to my fitness watch, I slept a full nine hours, but not well enough to bring my stress levels down. At least I won’t be walking around like a zombie all day!

    Weight loss is never easy… I am going to get back on track. While I am not getting onto the complete program again, I would like to just get through the next few days without cheating too badly. If I do, then hopefully I can drop back to 280 lbs. by the morning Leslie arrives.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 885

    It had been my plan to eat today to celebrate with my gorgeous doggie the five-year anniversary of her Adoption Day. As I drove home from Grimsby yesterday afternoon, I realized how weak I was, and decided to move our celebration up by a single day. I stopped at the supermarket and picked up veal chops and the vegetables to prepare a salad. I got home and put rice on to cook as well. While starchy, rice is known for fighting diarrhea, and after three days of it I was ready to try whatever might work. I enjoyed my veal and rice and salad, and Princess Sophie really enjoyed her bone. I was hoping that this morning I might find some solid solace… but I did not.

    In addition to what I mentioned, I also bought a mango. I suspect it was this more than anything else that led to the two-pound jump in my weight from yesterday morning. I was not at all impressed by that jump… but I deserved it.

    Despite my weight gain over these past two days, I am going to eat another meal today (minus the fruit). Four days of diarrhea is simply not good for the body, and I need to be able to healthily get through this coming week. Yes, her Royal Floofness will get another bone on the actual day of her Adoptiversary.

    After losing 12.6 lbs. in just five days, I should not be terribly upset to give back 2.4 lbs. over the weekend. I just have to make sure that I continue on the downward trend, and not give up any unnecessary losses. I will eat because I think that right now it could be unhealthy to not eat anything… but I will not overindulge or eat the wrong foods. The rice is necessary, but the mango was not. I will not make that mistake again today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 872

    I have not gained seven pounds in the last ten days because I completely fell off the wagon. It has been a combination of many factors that include stress, long work days with no ability to exercise, constipation, not drinking enough water, and yes… eating more than I should. I took a break from the program for the past week because my energy levels were completely tapped, and I needed to be able to get through very long work days successfully. Now is the question of starting back on it. I had a Lodge event on Saturday that had a lot of food involvement, and it would have been difficult for me to stick to the program. At the event I spoke with my mentor (who is on the same program as I am) and he recommended that I hold off resuming the program until Tuesday, knowing that I am getting promoted Monday night. As such, that is my plan. I am hoping that I can succeed.

    I did not blog Saturday or Sunday, but neither was because I was gorging myself. I had a lot of things going on, and it slipped my mind. I am glad to be back at it this morning, and will try to continue to use it as a tool to remember to stay true to the program starting tomorrow. I did get back on the treadmill yesterday to exercise for the first time since last Saturday, and while I was worn out after 2km jogging and 2km walking, I felt better for having done it. I will resume my cadence of daily workouts, but I will not push myself quite so hard the first week of my program.

    I have a doctor’s appointment at noon today. I have to discuss my medications with her, as well as a couple of other things. I also suspect that I am due for a complete physical, but I will ask her about that.

    When I am home from that appointment I will have lunch, then I will hit the treadmill for an hour. I will shower then I will do some work before heading to the Lodge. My promotion is actually being held at another lodge, which means that this evening will also be my first ever visit to another lodge. At least twenty of my Lodge brethren have reached out to tell me they will be there to support me, which is really heartwarming. Of course, there are two of us from our lodge who are doing it together, so there’s twice the reason to come out to support us!

    It is a cloudy day and a bit chilly for the second week of June, but at least it is not cold, rainy, or wintery. I’ll take it.

    Have a great day folks!