Losing a part of me

Category: Exercise

  • Day 594

    That’s more like it. According to the bathroom scale, as of this morning I am back on track. I wonder if it is just my body adjusting to the season (September is, after all, a whole new thing!), or if it was just a blip of sympathy for my wife whose progress is not going nearly as well as she would like (despite her following the full program religiously). Or maybe, just maybe, it might have to do with the 12.5km outing I did in the heat yesterday (2km jogging, 10.5km walking, 32° and sunny).

    With that the number is back down to three… or four if you include today. I weighed less than I do today from May 25-27, and that is it. My BMI is tied with those days. I am less than half a pound from tying my best weight ever. This is exciting! If you think I am not jogging and walking again today, then you are just not grasping how it feels to be this close.

    I did screw up a little though. Yesterday I set out for my walk at 4:05pm. I did stop for a couple of breaks along the way (very short ones – once to buy more water and Gatorade). By the time I came back in it was nearly 6:20pm; I showered (obviously) and was ready to make my second meal replacement of the day when Her Royal Floofness looked at me and told me that she needed to go out. We only walked to the park, but she decided that she wanted to sit in the bleachers of the baseball diamond for a little while. We did not walk back into the house until 7:20pm. I made my meal replacement, but I also knew that I would not be able to get my third one in unless I broke my rule about eating very late. I went to bed a little hungry, but not terribly so. Then there is the matter that I stepped onto the bathroom scale for a pleasant surprise this morning. Okay, maybe whatever I did yesterday worked out!

    In a few moments I am going to have a cigar date with my wife. After that I will go for my jog/walk. I will spend the afternoon preparing demos for my class tomorrow. I am excited about that. Today is either the second or the third day in a row without a bowel movement, but I am hoping that later in the day that comes.

    Oh, and I have a non-scale victory to report! When I first started walking, I tried to wear the fanny pack water belt that I had from when I was jogging in my 30s (when I was married to my first wife). There was nothing I could do to keep it on, and so I replaced it with the shoulder pouches. Now that I have viable hips again, I tried it on this morning… and it looks like it will fit just fine! I am going to order the bottles for it and will begin using it. I know that the shoulder pouch works, but it is slightly uncomfortable. This might just do the trick. Yay!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 588

    I woke up this morning all excited to get onto the bathroom scale. Why? I broke my word yesterday. I went for a very long walk (11km) which actually started as a jog for the first kilometre. When I came in, I showered of course, and then stepped onto the scale to see a massive weight loss. Of course, I know that when I weigh myself throughout the day, and especially when doing so after exercising, that it will not be either realistic or indicative of what I would weigh the following morning. When I step onto the scale before bed, I know that whatever the number is I can expect my morning weight to be 2 lbs. less… so when I stepped onto the scale before retiring, I was disappointed by the reality. This morning my weight was down from yesterday… but only by a small fraction of a pound. I was not running to the fridge to cross numbers off.

    My morning started off as it usually does, except that when I came in from walking the Floof I did not prepare my breakfast as I normally would. I did not even make coffee, although I am going to do that in a moment. I am off to the doctor’s office in a few minutes, and I do not want to eat before stepping onto the scale for my official weigh-in. I am expecting to see a 5kg drop from my last official weigh in, which was two months ago. While that would only be a .3kg drop from my previous weigh-in the month before, I want to make sure I am back on track… I don’t have to be kicking ass from May, I only need to show that I am recovered and on my way to being the best me ever. Come to think of it, even if I do show a .3kg drop from May, it will still be my best official weigh-in. Woohoo!

    An added benefit to not eating my breakfast before heading to the doctor is that while I will definitely be hungry as I drive home, I will not want to stop to pick up peanuts (as I have done on several occasions after seeing the doctor). I will want to rush home to make my omelette. Eating late might also (in theory) push my three meal replacements to later, but I will still try to finish all three of them. I know I need the nutrients.

    By the way, not only did I exercise yesterday, but I also did not cheat. I always feel good when I can honestly write that. It can be somewhat frustrating to know that on Tuesday I did cheat, and the following morning my weight dropped .6 lb, but on Wednesday I did not cheat, and the following morning my weight only dropped .2 lb. Grrr! Frustration!

    My coffee is brewing. I will prepare a to-go cup so that when I am finished with the doctor, I can immediately start drinking it in the car. There is no reason for me to wait the extra 30 minutes for me to get home and brew it. It’s amazing the things we think of to try to cut corners for efficiency.

    I’ll continue writing after breakfast, when I am back from the doctor.

    —

    I have no complaints with today’s check-in! I was hoping for a 5kg drop and I exceeded that by half a kilo. My blood pressure and pulse are both extremely good. The doctor encouraged me to be more vigilant with my exercise when I told her that I have been slack these last few weeks (until yesterday). Other than that, all is good.

    My favourite nurse was there for the first time in a few months. Since the change of doctor she is working reduced hours, so I have not seen her in a while. It was good to catch up with her. She has been telling me for months that she is inspired by my progress; I think she wants to try the program herself. I told her that if she wants to get a coffee to discuss what I have done then she can email me, and I will gladly give her all the advice I can.

    I did two things today that I have never done. The first is that I weighed myself with clothes on (on the bathroom scale; I am obviously always dressed at the doctor’s office). I then changed out of my long pants into shorts and weighed myself again. The mercury read 11° when I took Her Royal Floofness for her walk this morning, and there was no way I was going out in shorts. By the time I was ready to head out for my appointment it was only a couple of degrees warmer, but I wanted to be wearing lighter clothes. That might be weird, but the forecast says it will be sunny and 21° today so wearing shorts is not unreasonable. It was all for naught though… there was not one ounce difference in the readings from wearing long pants to short pants. Oh well.

    I have some studying to do today and hopefully my wife will have time for a video cigar date in the afternoon. Other than that my only other plan for the day is to not cheat. I got past the doctor appointment (and scheduled my next appointment the day after I am back from California). Hopefully the timing of my next appointment will serve to keep me in check the week I am away and keep me from indulging too much.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 561

    I was horrified last night when, before getting into bed, I stepped onto the bathroom scale. I was three pounds heavier than I had been in the morning. It is not uncommon for me to be a bit over my morning weight late at night. It is usually a safe bet that by morning I will weigh 2-3 pounds less than my nighttime weight. Unless something drastic happened, I would weigh over (or near) 270 pounds in the morning. It was not fair! I had a normal breakfast and lunch, but I finished the day with a meal replacement shake around 5pm, and then another one around 10:30. How could I actually gain weight after a day like that?

    What I had not taken into account was that the water I had drunk, combined with the fact that I suspect the shakes are a diuretic. I was up to pee three times before my morning rituals; combined with the very successful bowel movement, I ended up down from last night an incredible 5.4 lbs., and 2.4 lbs. from yesterday morning. All is well, I did not have to get disheartened that when I work at it I really can continue to lose weight.

    My wife has decided to use the meal replacement program to lose weight. While I do not care if she loses weight or not, I am happy to support her through it. Over the last few days we have discussed it a great deal. Today is her second full day on the program, and she is experiencing a lot of the side effects that are so normal for anyone who has started the program as often as I have. She seems relieved that I am able to reassure her that the headache, the weakness, the thirst, and all are all perfectly normal. I will continue to be her support system, and her biggest cheerleader.

    I had actually thought to start the full program with her but realized that I had quite a few dollars worth of perishable groceries in the refrigerator and did not want to throw it all out. I have, however, decided to go back onto the partial program. Today I had my breakfast, and after my jog/walk I will prepare my lunch. In the late afternoon/evening I will have a meal replacement shake (or two). The chicken I have in the fridge will then be done, and I will go down to one meal (breakfast) in the morning, and then three meal replacements. I will do that for another week or so, and then I will decide if I want to stick with that program, or if I might be ready to try another month or so on the full program.

    I am not making this decision solely to do it with my wife. I know that I might never get back down below 200 lbs., I know that I still have a substantial amount of weight I would like to lose. In my post-Army life I have never weighed less than 250 pounds. When I reached that milestone on May 27, I was thrilled… and then I started to lose ground. I know I can get back there, and then I can go further. If I can get down to 220 lbs., for example, then I will be completely clear of the Obese Class I category, and I can think about being normal. As I wrote sometime over the last few days, if I can get to a good place then I can make sure that I stay within a range… and not letting myself go again. If I realize that 250 is as good as I can do, then maybe that’s where I will be… but I am not giving up on getting lower unless I really try. If I have done everything I can but still cannot get below that then I will accept it. I will not settle unless I know that I have tried my best.

    This morning Leslie and I had a lovely cigar date on the balcony. I lost track of time, so here I sit writing my daily entry at 12:30pm. It is time for me to suit up and head out. Realizing I was hungry (and that jogging hungry is not the smartest thing to do) I had a yogurt. I should be showered and ready for lunch by 2:15pm or so. That is, unless I keep procrastinating… which I will not do.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 557

    I was distressed that my travel day took such a bad toll on my weight this morning. I am back above 270 lbs. and to blame it all on the airplane is wrong. I let myself go last night, and I paid for it this morning. The worst part of it is that I had an appointment to see my doctor today which I forgot about until my phone reminded me fifteen minutes prior to the appointment. I called to say that I would be late, but I actually made it on time, and it was the doctor who made me wait.

    My blood pressure was up (but not unhealthy), and when the nurse neglected to weigh me, I did not object. I deserved the lecture that I avoided, but I know what she would have told me. I have to get back on track. Fortunately I know that with regard to exercise I have… with all of the walking that I did last week, as long as I can stay on track with that then bringing my food intake back into line would be what I need to do to get back on track.

    I came home and suited up to exercise. The temperature was nowhere near as hot as it was in Dallas (despite three people stopping me during my walk with Her Floofness this morning to comment on the heat), and I had a feeling I would be able to give it my all. I jogged three kilometres and then walked another 9km… a respectable outing by any measure. I walked into the apartment dripping with sweat, but feeling great about what I did. I have started another week off on the right foot. I even wore my new running shoes which arrived the day I flew to Dallas, and they felt great.

    I came in and put a couple of pieces of chicken on to cook before I got into the shower. I thought I had vegetables for a salad, but when I realized I only had onion I decided to put some frozen French fries into the air fryer as well. It was an unhealthy touch, but not the worst thing I could have eaten. My plan for this evening is to only have a couple of meal replacement shakes – one before my class, and one afterwards. If I am able to stick to that then I will have no reason to feel bad about what I ate today… and should expect to see at least a slight decrease on the bathroom scale tomorrow morning.

    It started to rain shortly after I got in from my exercise, but I do not think it is too bad. My plan is to enjoy a cigar on the balcony before class, and then likely one after class as well. We’ll see how I am feeling later tonight.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 553

    I did not gain nearly two pounds overnight because of a single bad choice yesterday, but rather because of several bad choices, including bread, Chinese food for lunch, and a subway sandwich (with a bag of chips) for dinner… to say nothing of the two bowls of cereal I ate before I started teaching my class. The equation is simple: When Mitch eats lots of unhealthy and fattening foods, Mitch gains weight. Why then is it so difficult to curb my bad decisions? I have a lot of ideas around that, and it is not a single answer. I have to keep on top of things, I have to stay mindful.

    The bad news from the bathroom scale is not the reason I embarked on my 10km walk this morning. I had said that I wanted to do as much walking this week as I could, hopefully every day, or nearly so. I took yesterday off for a couple of reasons which I outlined in yesterday’s article, but the fact that I was back at it today is not compensating for anything, rather it is staying on track with my previously stated objective. Fortunately I took the appropriate steps to not get lost again today!

    As I stepped from the apartment this morning the weather app on my phone read 83°. By the time I got home, it was pushing 91°. I was glad to get home and rehydrate – I had gone through my water bottle during my walk, but I needed to down a couple more bottles when I came in. I then stood under the shower for a few minutes as I rinsed the sweat from my body.

    I am going to try to get some work done this afternoon, although I plan to run some errands as well. I need shampoo, and I want to drop into the store where I got my eyeglasses to ask them a question. I do not know if I will pick up lunch for us, or if we will eat Leslie’s yummy chicken salad which she prepared yesterday. As I wrote yesterday, our food will now be subject to the likes of her eight-year-old son. Fortunately when I am not distracted, I can focus on making smart choices, which I did not do yesterday evening with the subway sandwich. While I doubt we will be enjoying our drive-thru salad joint every day, at least most of the places we might eat will offer some reasonable options to choose from.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 551

    It would have been nice to see a bit more of a drop in weight on the bathroom scale this morning, but I really should be grateful for the .4 lb. loss considering the factors: 1) I had two slices of Chicago-style pizza for lunch, and 2) I did not have a successful bowel movement this morning. Even so, it would have been nice to see something more drastic. It is nice to have dropped below 265 lbs., and while it is only by a hair, I am also at the same weight I was last Wednesday, the day my weight was lowest during this trip, before the disastrous Chinese meal of MSG with a side of General Tao chicken added three pounds in a single day.

    My alarm went off promptly at 7:00am, and I went about my morning routine. I then suited up and went for a walk. I was hoping to either meet or just slightly surpass yesterday’s 9km walk. I actually tried, for the first 200m out of the apartment complex, to jog; I realized quickly that my ankle was not up to it, so I slowed to a walk. I was doing just fine on a new route that I had not taken before, but it was mostly familiar territory. The roads around here are not straight, and it is easy to get a bit turned around if you are not careful; it was a simple mistake – a right turn instead of a left turn (right after nearly getting hit by a car who was more concerned with getting to her destination than in looking where she was driving) that added 3 miles onto the outing, which ended up being a pretty impressive 13.15 km… a little over 8.1 miles. When I walked into the apartment I was dripping, with the thermostat reading 89°. There had not been a cloud in the sky from the time I stepped out of the apartment… two hours and ten minutes earlier.

    I should mention at this point that I left the house without eating, so Leslie and I enjoyed an early lunch which I picked up from our favourite drive-thru salad joint. Still peckish, I supplemented my salad with two pieces of bread with peanut butter. I hope that will hold me until dinner.

    Whether or not I am going to walk tomorrow is still up in the air. I want to see how my feet feel after today’s outing before I make a decision.

    This evening is our last night alone together before her son comes back tomorrow, and I am going to prepare a nice piece of fish, and Leslie will prepare rice. We have a bottle of champagne that we will likely share with a nice cigar after dark… or maybe we will go down to the pool and relax in the water as we smoke. We can do what we want, as long as we are together.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 537

    Today is the day I tell my wife that I need her kicking my ass again. I am just under 275 lbs., which means that since my lowest point (May 27) I have gained nearly twenty-five pounds. That has to stop. I have to stop the slide, and I know what I have done wrong. I have been buying snacks and justifying the purchases by saying that they are on sale, that I can open the bag and just have a reasonable portion, that I am not the same addict that I used to be. In a moment of resolve, right after I typed the last sentence, I went into the kitchen and threw out half a bag of Goldfish and most of a bag of mini crisps. I actually made sure to ruin them – I filled the bags with water so I would not be tempted. I have wasted money and I have thrown away too much progress. Today is the day that I get back on track.

    Today is going to be another hot day, with the temperatures hovering around 30 degrees until it starts to rain around 5:00pm. That should last through 9:00pm, which is perfect because that is exactly when I need to be teaching. In the meantime, it is nearly 11:00am, it is sunny and hot. I am not going to try to jog today… but I am going for a walk. I am going to pick a new audio book (I finished my last one a couple of days ago and have been catching up on podcasts since then). I will then go for a walk and will do at least 5km but will try for more. It is time for me to get my butt back on track.

    When I started speaking with my wife a few minutes ago she asked me very difficult questions. Why am I off track? Stress, anxiety, and such. Why am I stressed? Why am I anxious? I hate thinking about these things… let along sharing them out loud. That does not mean that I do not need to do it. By admitting to them I can start to deal with them. I really appreciate how she is able to support me.

    Alright, it is time to pick my book and then heads out. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 522

    The last few days were hard for me. Today will be a little better, and tomorrow better yet. That is the only thing I can aspire to. I want to get back onto the wagon. I am happy that I did not gain weight during Leslie’s two-week visit, but I do feel that I was doing much better and then lost ground these last few days. After I dropped her off at the airport I returned home to a slew of leftovers and a feeling of sadness that had the fridge calling me.

    The weather today will be the deciding factor on if I jog or not. It has been raining on and off all morning and is forecast to do so until just after 5:00pm, but if it is more of a drizzle then I might just suit up and brave it anyways. As we drove yesterday we were on a road that I have jogged a few times and I said to Leslie that I should jog there this week. I then realized we were far enough from home that it would require a nearly-10km loop to get there, and that I would be smart to lower my expectations of myself for my first week back at it. Last week I jogged a few times, doing two or three kilometres before slowing to a walk. If in the next few days I can get that up to a 5km run then I will be happy.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 519

    We are out and about early and I wanted to leave a placeholder in case I forgot. I cheated way too much yesterday and I paid for it. Will do better.

    —

    It is now late afternoon and two of our three social engagements are behind us, with one more to go. All of them involve food. We had to leave the apartment early this morning because the lines in the parking lot were being painted, so after I came in from walking the Princess we headed out for breakfast. I ordered avocado toast which I consider a good decision. We had lunch with Lyle and Dorothy who prepared a delicious chicken salad with a miso dressing which was also delicious, also a good decision. We met Dimitrios for afternoon tea where I ordered a café latté and a flatbread, which was not a great decision, but I did so with my eyes open. This evening we will meet Eduardo and Gladys for dinner at a favourite Italian restaurant of ours. While it will not be a diet meal by any stretch, I am nonetheless confident that I can order smartly and eat well without going completely off the rails. I do not expect the numbers on the bathroom scale to be down tomorrow morning, but I also do not expect them to be a total shock.

    I knew in advance that there would be no opportunity to exercise today, which was not terrible because according to my fitness watch my Body Battery (which has been low all week) has not risen above 45 today. My last three days of exercising have not seen it rise much above that, with lows at night between 3-5. My body needed a day to recover. I will try to get out for a jog tomorrow morning, but we will see how I feel… and how the morning shapes up.

    Speaking of tomorrow, I suspect that around mid-morning we will partake in our traditional latté and cigars on the balcony. We are meeting my sons for lunch at Colossus where I can be smart with what I order. Knowing where we are dining tomorrow to celebrate our wedding anniversary I will try to eat very healthy during the day. I also plan to avoid meat, as we are going to a steakhouse for dinner.

    For those readers who came late to my journey, your confusion is understandable. After all, it was less than two months ago that I wrote about our fabulous wedding in California. That was our religious wedding, and beginning next year it will be the one that we celebrate. Last June we got married in a civil ceremony with a judge. We discussed it and decided that this year we would celebrate the first, and beginning next year we will celebrate only the religious anniversary. I’m glad I was able to clear that up for you.

    Today was another anniversary of sorts. Four years ago today I drove out to Beverly Hills to adopt Her Royal Floofness, Princess Sophie. She spent the day playing with Charlie, but when we return home she will get a special treat to celebrate.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 518

    This morning I did not wake up with the crack of dawn, and I did not get out for a run before breakfast. I did, however, put my workout gear which I hoped would motivate me to go out to exercise in the morning. I took Princess Sophie for a nice walk before breakfast (as I always do). Following breakfast I checked a few things on the computer before heading out for my jog. I did improve upon my performance from the last couple of days, jogging the first 3km and then walked another 6km before heading in for a shower… and a lot of water. I was disappointed that the numbers on the bathroom scale were slightly higher this morning. It was not a drastic jump, but I had been hoping that my early morning workout would keep my downward trend going. Oh well… but as I have said so often it is not about the individual plots on the graph, but about the downward trend.

    I picked up a wild mushroom pizza from Son of a Peach which I knew Leslie would love… as did I. For dinner we will enjoy the leftover chicken breasts from what I made a couple of nights ago before sitting out with a cigar and a bottle of wine. We are enjoying our time together and neither of us wants it to end. Fortunately I booked my next trip to visit her in three weeks so our time apart will not be too long. It is easier to manage our separations when we know that they will not be for too long.

    Have a great day folks!