Losing a part of me

Category: Exercise

  • Day 517

    Yesterday afternoon I went out for a 2km jog followed by a 3km walk, and I felt great. I felt sore, but I was thrilled to be back out there. I ate very well (I made salmon sandwiches with a side of sweet potato fries for lunch, and for dinner I made a breaded chicken breast with a side salad), and I shared a bottle of wine with my lovely wife with our cigars. The results were pleasing – I dropped 1.6 lbs. according to the bathroom scale this morning. It gets better in the next paragraph.

    My eyes popped open at 5:12am. I have written before that I almost never have issues going back to sleep after getting up to pee… as long as it is still dark outside. Once the sun is up that will be hit or miss… and more often miss than hit. While I did give it a good attempt, it did not take long for me to realize that I was well and truly awake, and I might as well do something about it. Doing my best to not disturb my slumbering wife, I went about my morning routine. The only change from the norm is that I put on shorts, a t-shirt, and running shoes before I took Her Floofness for her royal walk. She was home and on the couch by 7:00am, and I grabbed a peach from the fridge before heading out for my exercise. Yes, I actually jogged 2km and then walked another 4km, and was showered and dressed by 8:15am! It felt good to make the most of my inability so sleep, rather than doing whatever else that I might have done but can do later today. Not that I am counting it, but I did step onto the bathroom scale once more after my shower and had dropped another two pounds. While it is nice to see that I got another drop, I am sticking by my first weight from 6:20am. While it would have been nice to have a 3.5 lbs. drop in one day, it will be just as nice (and much more honest) to see that spread over two days.

    For lunch today I am going to pick up some meatless burgers, and while I am at the supermarket, I will look for some sort of appropriate side dish. Dinner will be salmon with either rice or salad on the side. I know that unless I completely fall off the wagon sometime between here and there my weight tomorrow morning will be down once again… from my first weigh-in of the morning if not from the second. I am happy with the progress I have made these past weeks, down nearly nine pounds in the time that Leslie has been here. I never expect to lose weight while we are together, and with one exception (my first April trip when I tore up my foot the first night so did not exercise) I have lost weight every reunion since January. She is a good influence on me… and not only because I am afraid to disappoint her.

    It is a lovely day out and I have a few things to do, but I might also spend a couple of hours on the balcony studying. I also have to test my Wi-Fi; I installed my new wireless device this morning, and while the performance on my download speeds is amazing, I am disappointed that my upload speeds are no better. I am going to see if there is something within my bedroom wall that is causing it, and if so then I am going to think about either moving the router, or else returning it and buying a set that has two wireless access points so I can place one at the source and the other outside the bedroom but with line-of-sight to both the access point and to my computer. Yes, I am having fun with this!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 502

    I have to get back on track, but I am glad that my slip has not been as bad this time as it was a few weeks ago. I am still under 260 lbs. which is not ideal, but it is still better than when I ballooned to 267 when I came back from Dallas.

    Last night I was hungry, so I had a shake, but I was still not satisfied. I decided to make an omelette which did satisfy my hunger without cheating too badly. With that said, I ate too late last night, and I paid the price. It might have been worse… when I stepped onto the bathroom scale before bed the number was truly frightening, and I was sure that this morning I would see a huge jump. Fortunately, despite not being successful with my bowels this morning, my weight was higher… but not nearly as high as last night’s number hinted at.

    This weekend I have to get back on track with my running. I have not been jogging these last few weeks, owing partly to my schedule but also something else. After a couple of weeks without doing it I am now afraid that starting again I will fail. I have to get past that, and I will. If I am not able to get out sooner, then I plan to lace up Saturday morning for a good outing. There is a possibility I will be able to go between classes Thursday, or even after class on Friday. I know how important it is, so I am going to try for at least one if not both of those. I do not have to break any records, I just need to get active again. Even if I only jog a couple of kilometres and then walk to finish a five kilometre circuit then I will consider it a success. Anything more will just be gravy.

    After class today a friend is bringing his computer over for help, and then we will likely smoke a cigar. I am teaching in the evening, so he will have to be out by 5:15pm or so, but it will be nice to spend a couple of hours with him. It will be nicer if the issues with his computer are not serious and only take a few minutes to resolve. More often than not that is what will happen. We will see.

    My goal for today is to not cheat! I have been going overboard these last few days and I have to stop doing that. I did not make an omelette this morning – that was not because I did not want one or because I had one last night, but I was a bit lazy this morning and then Princess Sophie wanted to spend more time socializing on her walk than usual. I will make my usual midday meal which I will eat before my friend comes over. I am going to set a reminder to prepare a meal replacement shake during the break in my evening class. If I can stick to that then I should be able to stop the slide that I have been on these last few days.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 487

    I have been having a much more difficult time getting back into the groove of the full-fast program than I had previously, and I think I know why that is. I pushed myself with exercise. On previous attempts I might have walked, but this time I started the full-fast program (900 calories per day, plus maybe another 25 if we count my coffees) with jogs and walks that combined each day for over 10km per day. While I know that I am able to do those workouts, my body these last couple of days has sent me a clear message that doing it on reduced calories is either something I will need to work up to, or else something that I need to rethink. If the former then I need to take a couple of days off from exercising (which begins today – I rethought my 5:45am alarm last night and reset it for 7:15am), and then start back once my body is used to the full-fast again. If the latter, then I need to adjust from my full-fast program to a modified program that will either include a fifth shake, or else replace one meal replacement with an actual meal. I am leaning toward the latter.

    After my video chat with my diet buddy yesterday I went out for my jog. To read yesterday’s journal entry you would think that I was ready to run 10km without hesitation. I realized a couple of kilometres in that I was optimistic in that belief, and my energy drained much quicker than it had previously. While I jogged the first 4km without stopping, only the first kilometre was of a pace that I was seeing the previous days. I walked the rest of the 10km and had very little energy the rest of the day. Even sitting with Lyle and Dorothy on their patio they mentioned that I did not have my usual energy. Usually that would have been because was down emotionally. Yesterday I was perfectly happy… but completely drained physically.

    While I was originally planning to wake up early and jog today, I decided against that late yesterday afternoon. If I was unable to get through my day off yesterday without almonds and then a can of salmon, I did not want to risk that on a day when I have to be teaching and fully on. Tomorrow I am going to the vampires to have my bloodwork, so I was never planning to jog tomorrow. I will see after that how my body is feeling, and one of two things will happen. Either I will be ready to continue on my journey, or I will have to go shopping so that I can start integrating a meal at lunchtime to supplement my regimen. While I love seeing the progress on the full-fast program, I also know that getting out and exercising is equally important. I also know that one day in the not-too-distant future I will be weaning myself off the program (full or partial), and the two keys factors to my not regaining all of the weight are diet and exercise. By getting used to the exercise now I will not need to force myself to start later on.

    My plan for today is to stick to the program. The bathroom scale was kind to me this morning, showing a very slight drop, even though I cheated yesterday. I needed to cheat because I was literally falling over. Today I will not exercise (beyond taking Her Royal Floofness for her walks), so I expect that sticking to the meal replacements should not be too difficult. If I truly feel like I cannot get through the day then I will go shopping during my break and I will put the full-fast program off until the weekend. I do not expect that will be the case. I am teaching all day, and then in the evening I have my sommelier course. After that I will speak with my wife before getting into bed at a reasonable hour. I have changed tomorrow morning’s alarm to 6:30am so that I will be able to get my morning routine in before running to the lab to have my blood drawn and be back at my desk in time to start class. I have to stay mindful not only of my food intake, but also of my resting. The last two nights I could hardly stay awake until 9:30pm, but that was with me pushing myself. Today I will not push and should be able to make it through the day and then get a good night sleep.

    I am happy to be in best weight ever territory again this morning, but I need to balance my amazing progress with my ability to get through the day. My weight loss must be not only achievable but sustainable. Yes, I love when people stop me when I am walking with Princess Sophie to ask me if I have lost weight… but I also need to make sure that I can get through the day without collapsing.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 444

    Despite my second unproductive morning in a row, it was such a sight to see when I stepped onto the bathroom scale to discover that my weight has, once again, dropped below 260 lbs., if only by a tiny fraction. Yesterday, my weight was back down to match my best weight from 2020, so this morning I dropped below that once again, hopefully for the last time. Once I am back home, I will be able to resume my exercise regimen, which even if I were to maintain my current eating (that is, not back on the meal replacements at all), would likely see me losing more weight. For now, I am hoping that when I step onto the scale at the doctor’s office on Wednesday that I weigh slightly less than I did at my previous weigh-in there. This morning I am still one pound heavier than I was that morning on my bathroom scale, so I as long as I am able to stay on track, I should be able to lose more than that between now and then.

    My diet these last couple of days has essentially consisted of chicken and matzah, and whatever I might put on the matzah (which alternates between margarine with jam and charoset with horseradish). I also had a really large iced tea yesterday which was really tasty but has 226 calories and a whopping 60g of sugar. It is a wonderful treat, but I have to remember that it should be only that… an occasional treat. I might think about cutting down to a smaller size in future, but with the extreme heat of the Texas summer ahead, I might stick with the large size which does help with hydration.

    This afternoon we are going to see a movie, which under normal circumstances would be a terrible temptation for me. During Passover I am not allowed to eat popcorn (with or without butter) so there is a good chance that I will not have any snacks and will get through that unscathed. I will have lunch before we go, which will, once again, consist of leftover chicken (which really is so tasty!) that needs to be finished before I leave tomorrow evening. There are some people who, like me, will continue to enjoy the same leftover meal for days on end. Others cannot do that, so I know that whatever I do not eat will probably go into the garbage. Leslie and her son have been eating whatever they will eat – neither of them are Jewish, so the rules of Kashrut do not apply to them – and it has not bothered me one bit. Leslie did mention that they were trying to be respectful around me, but I assured her that I am not in the least bit bothered by whatever they might be eating. As for them not wanting to eat the leftovers… that just means more yummy chicken for me!

    There is also enough charoset left over to choke a horse… I do not know if Leslie will eat any of it once I go home, but I know that I cannot take it with me, so I am enjoying it (in moderation) until I go. I never understood why Jews only make charoset for the Passover Seder… it is so delicious, and there is nothing to stop us from making it all year round? The point is that we don’t, and that’s life. I do know that I would not want to have the sweet kosher wine in the house… it is not something that regular people would choose to drink but is necessary for making the tasty charoset (which is meant to be symbolic of the mortar that the enslaved Israelites made in Egypt).

    The plan for today is to stay on track… I will be mindful, and even though we might be eating dinner out, Leslie and I have already discussed a restaurant option where I can eat without violating my religious dietary requirements. It will be a different chicken meal, which does not bother me at all… I can eat chicken every day of the week and not get bored with it. I will not snack at the movies, and I will stay mindful should we take the boy somewhere there might be temptations. One thing I am going to have to start remembering is that when I exercise, I can take greater liberties with my eating than on days when I do not. My last ‘exercise’ was when I walked home from the lounge a week ago today, and while the walk was a respectable 6.25km, I did it in sandals which means I was not exerting myself like I would when powerwalking. I also did my foot with the blisters, which kept me from running the next few days. Yes, my foot has been healed for a couple of days, but my work schedule prevented me from getting out.

    I should mention that yesterday I recorded my session on Securing the Internet of Things, which I spent a lot of time working on this past week. I think it went really well and am looking forward to seeing the final post-production product, which is being released in a couple of weeks. This week I have to prepare another session, which will be recorded Friday. It is on another cybersecurity topic which I will have to spend some time looking at and putting together. I know what I am going to say, but I need to organize my thoughts into slides, and then write up a script for it. It is funny that I spend so much more time preparing for a 40-minute session than I ever do for an 8-hour class… the difference between being watched and being recorded!

    I am not excited to be returning to Canada tomorrow, but life must go on until we get our paperwork settled. It will come, we just have to be patient. For now, at least I have one more night with my lovely wife.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 430

    I went to the gym as expected yesterday. I beat my distance record, although I know that my calibration is off, so I honestly do not know how far I jogged. I will try to try to calibrate it properly tomorrow… or whenever I am next on the treadmill. I am now putting a double asterisk next to my treadmill distances because I honestly do not know. When I jogged in the street the other day, at least I know that was an honest 10km. I did calibrate one kilometre of my jog to the treadmill (thinking that would fix everything – it did not) and I saw that my pace on the treadmill is no different from what I jog outside. That is a good thing.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • pb Distance: 13.45 km (7.25 km)
    • Duration: 1:18:45 (57:03)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 6m00s (7m53s)**
    • Steps: 11,350 (8,850)
    • pb Calories burned: 1,626 (754)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (155)

    Following the gym, I decided to take a giant plunge. I stopped at the Taekwondo school owned and operated by an old instructor of mine – the one where I took a few classes back in the summer – and had a great chat with him. I told him that I am ready to start training, and he welcomed me back. We discussed the issues that had made me uncomfortable in the summer, and he felt terrible about them. I told him not to worry, and he told me I can start coming in for the adult classes which are Tuesday and Thursday evenings… which works out perfectly, as I am teaching Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings!

    I was surprised, after I came home, that I was hungry. I then looked at the clock and realized that it was 3:15pm, and I had only had one meal replacement so far. I prepared and drank my second shake, and then sat out on the balcony with a cigar. Okay, that is not entirely accurate. First, I went to get changed for my evening class… which gave me the opportunity to try on my Taekwondo kit. It fits perfectly… it might be a little big, but probably not big enough to need to order a new one. I will ask the Master if I can try on the smaller size, but I suspect that for the next few months I will stick with what I have. Anyhow, I did squeeze my three shakes in throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, spacing them out appropriately.

    My weight was up again this morning despite my being true to the program yesterday… and the excellent workout. I know that my cheat day on Thursday (and by cheat I am referring more to the pop chips and the late eating than to the steak and salad I had mid-afternoon) was going to have consequences, and I am not going to be upset by this. I know that as I continue to do the right thing, the weight will continue to come off. I am not going to let that stop me from living. Yes, it would have been nice to see a significant drop in my weight this morning, but it did not come, and I will see it tomorrow or Monday. We move on. I am in a place where I am not going to beat myself up over a series of conscious decisions that led to two days of slight gains… and even with them did not bring me back above the 260 lbs. mark (although it was close).

    I know I kicked butt this week on my exercising, and I think I am going to take the weekend off… or at least, I am going to take today off. Tomorrow I am taking my son the younger for lunch, and I will follow my plan, but if I cannot then I will come home and lace up the running shoes. I think I can resist the temptations to be bad though; if he does want to go to Lone Star then I will have my salad but will not touch the chips. Frankly, whichever of his regular haunts he wants to go to I will follow that same plan. Eat… but not overeat and eat smart. I expect that had I been able to follow that throughout my 20s-40s then I would not be where I am today. That’s life, we learn, we move on. My diet buddy is coming over for coffee tomorrow afternoon and we will catch up after our trips. I hope she has made the same kind of progress that I have.

    My plans for today… if I am not going to the gym (and it is rainy and cold outside) then I don’t know… I will reach out to some of the boys and see if they want to connect for a cigar. Maybe I will crack my Taekwondo book (which I did dig out) and spend a couple of hours reviewing the patterns that I will need to re-learn. I am also going to spend a little bit of time trying to track down my belt, which seems to have gone missing. I will see if I accidentally put it into my storage locker, or if it is just in my gym bag and I did not see it. It might also be in my car… but wherever it might be, I have to track it down. Aside from the expense of replacing it, there is also an emotional connection to it. I might also spend an hour or two doing some studying for my next exam. We will see. Looking out the window, it is one of those days where you want to just crawl back into bed and stay there… but I want to try to be productive in at least some way. Maybe I will go to the gym… after all, my schedule for tomorrow will not comfortably allow it, so I have a built-in day off right there. Hey! Maybe I’ll go to the gym and use one of the private rooms to work on my patterns. Hmm, there’s an idea! Maybe I’ll do that. I should download the videos for the first ten patterns to my iPad and head over there.

    All in all, I have to stay mindful and remember that I am so much closer to my ultimate goal than I have been in… well… ever, really. I am five pounds from my best adult weight ever, and I see no reason to stop doing what I have been doing. I might start introducing small meals every couple of weeks, but I don’t think that is going to hurt me terribly.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 428

    I was prepared from the moment I opened my eyes to open today’s journal entry with words like: ‘The scale giveth, the scale taketh away.’ After a huge drop yesterday, I was certain that I would be giving some of it back this morning. I did have a good bowel movement, and I was hoping that the increase would not be too bad. I knew that if I was back above the 260 lbs. mark I would be upset. In fact, my weight dropped again! It was not a significant drop – only .2 lb. – but down is better than up.

    After coming in with Her Floofness I made my coffee and morning shake, and then was prepared to sit down at my desk and to enter my morning weight into the comparative chart from 2020… and then I realized that I do not need to do that anymore! I have surpassed that goal, and that spreadsheet is no longer relevant. I might maintain it for the next few weeks just to see how much better I do… I might even expand it to using it for the long term to see how while in 2020 I lost ground, this time I am going all the way to the top. It is probably because it is another numbers thing that I can use – I am comforted by numbers – but the truth is that whether I continue with that spreadsheet or not, I have beaten it.

    My next short-term goal is absolutely unbelievable… as so many of them have been. My previous two milestones were comparing my weight loss to that of three and six years ago… both reasonably recent, since my second divorce. I had kids, a career, all of that. My next milestone is a lot harder to conceive. I am now less than four pounds from achieving my best ever weight. When I drop below 255 lbs., I will weigh less than I did at any point in the millennium. When I last achieved that weight, I was married to my first wife, although it was the last week of our marriage. Facebook existed, but it was still only available to high school and university students. While I had passed two Microsoft certification exams, I would not earn my first senior certification until later in the year (the end of May), and it would be another year and a half before I would achieve the Microsoft Certified Trainer credential that has been the lifeblood of so much of my success. Paul Martin was Prime Minister of Canada, and George W. Bush had been sworn in for his second term the previous month. If it is not this month (today is March 23rd) then it will be very early in April when I will surpass this weight goal.

    …and then what? I am going to have to figure out another way to mark my accomplishments. I have written so often of the importance of short-term goals for weight loss success, but until now I have always had these comparisons to myself to beat. Will I simply revert to striving for decades? The 250 and 240 marks and so on are great. I am going to have to give this all some thought.

    My first next goal should be my Size-36 pants. I have seven pair of them that still do not fit, and I would like to be able to wear them comfortably. I am not going to even entertain the notion of Size-34 yet, as that is not a realistic short-term goal. I do not own a pair of them. However, it’s look at what I can realistically achieve in the next thirty days:

    • Best-Weight-Ever (255 lbs.)
    • 250 lbs. Milestone
    • Size-36 pants (all of them)
    • Jog 15km
    • 240 lbs. Milestone

    I have shortened the definition of short-term goals for this list only. Usually I have it at 45-days. On February 27 (Day 404) I set out six goals, three of which I have accomplished. Of the remaining three, two are on this list… but the third one – drop out of the Obese Class I classification into the Overweight category is still most likely outside the 30-day boundary. I will get there, and I will likely do it before the end of May (I am approximately 28 lbs. away), but to expect that kind of weight loss in thirty days is simply unrealistic.

    I did go to the gym yesterday, and I found a treadmill that seems to be more cooperative than the other ones. That is to say, it did not arbitrarily end my workout because I refuse to hold on to the sensors. My Garmin Connect app is telling me that I set a new personal record with the fasted 5k I have run yet. I strongly suspect that if I were to take the time to properly calibrate the watch to the treadmill that a lot of my paces would be wrong, this one included. I will try to remember to do that today… or at least, I will do it the next time I go to the gym, which will be today or tomorrow.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • Distance: 6.02 km (10.1 km)
    • Duration: 33:05 (1:22:34)
    • pb Average Pace (Min/km): 5m29s (8m11s)
    • Steps: 5,065 (12,795)
    • Calories burned: 720 (1,243)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 153 (155)

    I did wake up this morning with some achiness in my knee, but that is completely gone now. I rubbed some Voltaren into it, but I suspect the pain was just my normal ‘I’ve been lying down too long and my knee hurts because of it’ issues. I will make a mental note to remember if it continues throughout the next few days. For the moment, I will continue to try to jog… and if it starts to hurt, I will listen to my body and slow down or take breaks or stop… whatever I have to do.

    I am off to the dentist now, and I have a meeting as soon as I am back. Hopefully I will be able to get some studying in, as well as a jog. It would be nice to run outside, so if the rain is not too bad then I will. Otherwise, I will go to the gym, with the ever-luxuriant post-run sauna. We’ll see.

    Once again, my plan is to stay on track. Last night some of my students were discussing McDonald’s and I was tempted to go out and have a meal… or to just defrost the steak that I have in my freezer to enjoy today. I am not going to give in to these urges and temptations just yet… but once I am below the 250 lbs. point, I might consider introducing the occasional meal. We’ll see… but not today.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 426

    I have mentioned before that one of my fitness tracking apps (Garmin Connect) awards badges for many different accomplishments, including your first activity of any distance. I was scrolling through my collection of badges yesterday and came across the 10K Run badge, which I assumed would have been earned last week. Not so… it seems that I earned it in August of 2012. I had almost forgotten that for a few weeks in that month I had a Garmin watch, and that I used it a few times before losing it (I believe it was left behind in a hotel room in Miami, although the hotel denied it at the time). Looking back at that activity I cannot help but assume that this was not a jog at all, rather a walk… but that I had not properly configured the watch. Knowing what my average pace is today for both walking and jogging, it is impossible to imagine that I was jogging at a pace of 10m54s per kilometre… even at whatever my weight would have been around then (looking at my records I see that it was between 300-310 lbs.). My average walking pace now is under 10m per kilometre, and for jogging that drops to between 7m30s and 8m15s, depending on whether I am on the streets or on a treadmill. I see that the device was a Garmin Forerunner 410 (an early predecessor to my new Forerunner 255). Looking at the image of it, I do not recognize it. Of course, that was a different life; I was a month past my fortieth birthday and had no idea how many failures I would encounter before finally finding success with my weight loss journey. Is this the ultimate success, where I will actually be slim forever? I hope so. I do find it amusing that according to the same app, I only earned the 5K Run badge last month.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • Distance: 8 km (5 km)
    • Duration: 45:43 (41:43)
    • pb Average Pace (Min/km): 5m42s (7m29s)
    • Steps: 6,390 (6,350)
    • Calories burned: 636 (551)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 153 (157)

    Yesterday I did end up at the gym and got extremely frustrated with the treadmills. If you do not keep your hands on the sensors, they stop after a few minutes. That is extremely frustrating as I enjoy moving my arms as I would exactly if I were running on the streets or on a trail. Hopefully today and the rest of this week I will be able to jog outside, although the forecast from Wednesday through Saturday is for rain and snow. Hopefully during the day, I will be able to get it done.

    While it was a little chilly and windy for my liking, I still decided to sit on the balcony with a cigar in the afternoon. After my jog I did take my hydro massage, followed by a quick shower, then fifteen minutes in the sauna, and then another more thorough shower. I stepped onto the scale at the gym (which I do not consider authoritative) and was thrilled to see that I weigh much less than the last time I stepped onto the same scale – by about forty pounds. I have not been taking full advantage of my gym membership, but that does not mean that I have not been exercising and working out. I have certainly lost a good amount of weight since my last visit there, and I only wish that my personal trainer had been there to see the difference from the last time she saw me!

    I do not think my mood was so bad yesterday. Today might be a better indicator, although I am also hoping that my increased exercising will give me endorphins that will help to counterbalance the crabbiness that might come with the first days of the full fast. I will try to get out again today, but if things hold up then I will be running outside rather than at the gym. The forecast is for a mostly sunny day with high temperatures around 8°, which would be perfect weather for a jog as long as I remember to suit up in warm layers. The shorts and t-shirt that I was able to get away with in Dallas would be less than ideal. Fortunately, Leslie and I picked out a couple of pair of sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirts at the outlet mall; combined with a jacket (and gloves should they be necessary) and I will be perfectly prepared for the great outdoors.

    I got a message from the clinic in Toronto last night that their shipment of my meal replacements is only arriving today, so my drive into town will be delayed by twenty-four hours. As I have plenty of product left, that will not be an inconvenience at all… especially since my cleaning lady is coming today, so if I was going to drive into Toronto, I would have to be back in time for that, which would greatly impact the window I have open to jog outside in the good weather. Tomorrow the weather will be slightly cooler and cloudy, but that does not mean that I will not be able to jog outside… only that I will have to plan my jog smarter. The forecast for Thursday is warmer but wet… I do not really mind jogging when it is warm and drizzling, but unless the temperature prediction is off by fifteen degrees, Thursday I will be back on the treadmill.

    It felt amazing last week when I put on one of my casual dress shirts that had not fit just a few months ago, only to realize that it was too big to wear. That shirt, along with another from the same era, went into the ‘donate to charity’ bag at Leslie’s. What I was not thinking about at the time was that I am now down to only two long-sleeve shirts in that category. I am not planning on buying more… we are only a few short weeks away from my being able to switch to golf shirts for the season, and for the days that I teach I will be wearing dress shirts anyways. When I got back to Canada, I optimistically tried on some of my Size-36 pants, but they are still a few pounds away from fitting. That is frustrating not so much because I am overeager, but because my Size-38 pants (especially the jeans) are now quite loose on me. There is no in-between!

    When I spoke with my wife last night, I told her that I was thrilled with my weight drop from the previous day, but I knew that it was a travel day, and that I expected I was going to give back a bit of it this morning. Far from it! According to the bathroom scale, this morning I dropped another two pounds. That puts me a full 6.4 lbs. ahead of my 2020 pace. Looking at the chart from 2020, I see that I drop nearly two pounds over the next two days before gaining back nearly three pounds. I also see that on that chart I vacillate over the next 2.5 weeks between a low of 266.6 and a high of 271.6, which I would hit for the last time seventeen days from now. In 2023 I am hoping that in six or seven days I am down three more pounds, which will push me below my best weight from 2020… which would have me beating my 2020 pace by a full seventeen days. Unlike in 2020, I do not plan to stop there. I plan to keep losing weight until my Army uniform fits perfectly… and probably beyond that.

    As I have mentioned before, I do not know how much weight I want to lose because it has been so long since I was slim… and when I was, I was a lot more muscular than I expect I will be now. Until I modified it a couple of days ago, I had one app on my phone configured to a goal of 210 lbs. I changed that to 195 lbs., for no good reason that I can think of. I do not know at what point I will have the body that I want. I do know that I do not want to be forever obsessed with my body and weight loss. Just yesterday, Leslie pointed out to me how front-of-mind it is for me, and she is right. It is not enough that I write about it daily (and at great length), but I also talk about it a lot. I have to stop doing that. While it is fine that I still want to lose the rest of the excess weight, but I have to stop being obsessed with it. Focus is good, mindful is great; obsession to the point of mania is probably not a good thing. I will start to pay closer attention to that and remember that the fact that I am doing so well does not mean that I should be so single-minded about it. One of my better qualities (I have always thought) was my eclectic nature, and ability to discuss myriad topics. I would not be surprised if someone listening in on any conversation I had when I was in Dallas would have heard ‘bla bla Cigars bla bla Jogging bla bla Weight Loss.’ It is time to go back to being ME. I will continue taking time out of my morning to write in my journal, and I will continue to jog and exercise, and I will continue to stick to my program… but I will try to get back to being a more well-rounded and less boring and repetitive me.

    While it is still cold (2°) now, it looks to be warming up by several degrees over the next hour, so I will plan to head out around 10:30am. I just mapped out a route that looks to be just under 11 kms which suits me fine, although I would like to try to complete a fifteen-kilometre jog by the end of this month. I know that my pace will not come close to what I am able to achieve on the treadmill and that is okay by me. If I can average under 8.5 minutes per kilometre then I will be a very happy man. I only wish the provincial parks did not charge such high fees, or I would drive out to either Bronte Creek or Rattlesnake Point for a more nature-inspired jog. Perhaps once the weather is a bit warmer, I will start doing that, but for now I think I will stick to the roads.

    I stuck to the program yesterday; I plan to stick to the program today. I am loving my progress, and I do not want to falter. Focus and mindfulness will get me through to my ultimate success.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 425

    As she drove me to the airport yesterday morning, Leslie expressed her regret that we had gone out for a splurge dinner the previous evening, thus erasing all progress that I made on my weight loss journey while in Dallas. I told her the following:

    a) There was no reason to regret it; we had a wonderful evening (despite whatever effects the meal would take on our stomachs before the night’s end).

    b) It is my experience that the weight-gain effects of a single cheat meal that causes such an overnight weight gain will usually be very temporary, and it was possible or even likely that most or all of the gain would be lost again over the next day or two.

    c) Even with that cheat, I was still down a full pound from the day that I flew into Dallas.

    I had a very good bowel movement after I unpacked my suitcase, which was a relief for two reasons. I had worried since the previous evening that the unrest in my stomach would eventually lead to a more unpleasant experience on the porcelain throne. That was followed this morning by another one, which gave me hope that I was right, and that the weight gained Saturday night into Sunday would start to drop off this morning… despite the fact that I had a can of Pringles and a bag of almonds on the airplane. No, it was not the large can… it was the individual size, which is a huge improvement over what I likely would have done just a few short months ago. When I got back to the apartment, I thought briefly about resuming my full-fast program this morning, but then thought better of it; the only calories I consumed last night were two meal replacement shakes, which was exactly the right thing to do… especially if I was hoping to resume losing weight as of this morning.

    I had a bit of a technical issue with my bathroom scale and the app this morning. Before getting dressed I weighed myself (as is my habit). I was thrilled to see that not only was my weight down, but it was significantly down. I mean, it was slightly lower than my previous best from Saturday morning! Woohoo! I got dressed, I took Her Floofness for a walk (the first one we took since I got home). After feeding her, I made coffee and prepared my shake. Sitting down at my computer, I realized I had not worked on this system since before Patch Tuesday, and so it was going to reboot for me. I decided to fiddle around with the app on my phone; after nearly three years of using it, I noticed a couple of features on it this weekend that I wanted to try. The unfortunate result was that I accidentally wiped out this morning’s weigh-in. Damn. Well, I had only had one sip of my coffee, so it was not too late to weigh myself again. I got undressed and did just that, nervously hoping that I had not imagined it, or that I had somehow gained two pounds in thirty minutes.

    265.0 lbs.

    Wow. Not only had I not imagined it, but somehow along the way, in fewer than 1000 steps with Princess Sophie, my weight had dropped another .4 lb., putting me at the threshold, and achieving a new milestone. I have now lost one hundred and thirty pounds. My Body Mass Index (BMI) dropped to an even 34.0. According to the scale and app (which granted might not be the most accurate to measure these), my body fat percentage is now 30.3% (down from a high of over 40%) and my Basal Metabolic Rate is 2,076 (down from a high of nearly 3,000). As a much shorter-term win, that puts me 3.8 lbs. lower than I was the morning I flew to Dallas, besting my previously stated (albeit pessimistic) goal of gaining 2 lbs. by nearly six pounds! I am thrilled, and I know Leslie will be too.

    While the forecast high today gets up to 5°, it is also predicted to be quite windy. As such, I think it will be a perfect opportunity for me to go to the gym. An hour on the treadmill followed by fifteen minutes in the sauna sounds like a good way to spend a couple of hours. I am teaching this evening so I might spend a few minutes reviewing my material. Tomorrow I am hoping to drive into Toronto to pick up meal replacements… I got a notification that the clinic where I buy them is closed for the next month, but the nurse told me that she would meet me before she actually goes on vacation to make sure I have the proper supplies. Otherwise, I would not need to go into town for another week and a half. Oh well, whether I go tomorrow or next week is not really a big difference. I just hope that I can get either the gym or an outdoor jog in tomorrow – my cleaning lady (who has not been since mid-February) is coming in the afternoon, so I have to plan things properly.

    I am happy that I am getting back into that mindset of trying to make sure I can get my run or walk or whatever exercise into my schedule on a mostly regular basis. Previously it was one of those things that I would do, but it was not something I necessarily planned and was eager for. Now, especially since I am back into the mode of competing with myself, I feel the excitement of getting back at it as often as I can. When I head to the gym today, I will be doing my inaugural workout with my new fitness watch, a present from my lovely and doting wife. It arrived Friday afternoon after I was back from my workout, and I did not get out over the weekend. I am looking forward to seeing how it fares. My initial disappointment in realizing that it is not a touch screen has been turned around, remembering the issues I so often had with the touch screen on my previous fitness watch, especially in wet weather or when my hands were sweaty. It will take some getting used to with the buttons, but as I mentioned to Leslie yesterday (or Saturday?) I was still not entirely used to the functions on the previous watch. I will pay closer attention on this one, and hopefully I will not be saying the same thing in 3.5 years.

    Princess Sophie decided to go to the neighbour’s today to spend the day playing with her pal Charlie, so it is relatively quiet here for now. I suppose it is as good a time as any to get ready and go to the gym. I have a few emails I need to respond to first, but hopefully by 11:00am I can head out.

    My plan for the day is to stay mindful and to stay on track. Today is my first day back on the full-fast program, and as Leslie reminded me yesterday, there is the possibility that might put me into a bit of a mood. If I am, I will do my best to make sure that I do not show it or take it out on anyone. I do not know if the endorphins from working out might counterbalance that, but I will try to pay attention and see if I notice a difference. Leslie told me yesterday that she did not notice a huge difference the last time I came back to Canada and resumed the full fast, but that I had told her I felt it. Wouldn’t it be great if I do not feel it at all this time? If I can get through the day on meal replacements (and coffee) only, and not feel any negative effects… that would be great! Of course, I am teaching this evening, so if I need the extra caffeine to get through that, I will not hesitate. I do not want anyone to feel the negative effects of my mood, but if it affects my work then that is especially bad.

    Today is the 14-month anniversary of my weight loss journey, so how perfect that I can celebrate it by hitting a new best-weight-yet, a couple of new milestone (at the 265 threshold, plus the 130-pounds-lost mark), and a new fitness watch to inaugurate with a great workout… possibly even a new record for distance? Time? Pace? Who knows? As always, I will follow the advice of my doctor… I will listen to my body and let pain guide me. If I feel the need to stop, I will. Otherwise, who knows how far I might jog? Smile

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 423

    I broke another record on the treadmill yesterday. Knowing that my plan was to only run 5km, I set the pace at 4.5mph and was able to keep that pace for the entire workout. In fact, I did 5.5km because I wanted to make sure I did the 3mi as well, whether or not I was breaking records or personal bests. I also earned that 5km weekend running badge that I thought was for last weekend.

    I have walked or jogged either on the treadmill, in the streets, or at the mall every day this week except for one, and I am shocked by what I have been able to accomplish. It was only five weeks ago that I set out on my first jog, which did not amount to a full 2.5km. It was only two weeks ago that I did a combined 11km jogging and walking, but the jogging was in two ‘sets’ of 3km, each followed by walking. I never thought that just a couple of weeks later I would be jogging more than I am walking. Tuesday’s 8.2km jog was a real shock for me, and Thursday’s 11km run blew my mind. I knew that if I was going to jog Friday, I would have to set limits for myself… not because I do not want to push myself, but because I have obligations and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Leslie.

    These last fourteen months (it will be fourteen months on Monday!) have been a challenge, but I think I have finally hit my tipping point. Whatever weightlifting or other exercise I have done, and even walking (and I did a lot of walking throughout last spring and summer), I know it has always been jogging that has caused me to shed the pounds best. When combined with proper eating habits, I know that when I run I am going to have an easier time, with a steadier weight loss pace. If I can keep it up throughout the spring and summer, whether outdoors or at the gym, then I know that I will be able to achieve those short-term goals that I have been trying for. If I average a weekly loss of 3.5 lbs. then I will beat my 2020 best by March 30 (less than two weeks away), and my best adult weight on April 10. Those are milestones worth celebrating! For now, I am just happy that this visit to Dallas has been a successful one in almost every way, but with regard to my weight loss, going home weighing less than I did when I arrived is a huge victory for me.

    I should mention that I am very close to being able to claim a 130-pound weight loss. That blows my mind! This morning the bathroom scale reads 265.8 lbs., which is absolutely blowing my mind. I am 5.4 lbs. from my best weight in 2020, and I am 10.8 lbs. from my best adult weight. More important for the very short-term is that I am 3 lbs. down from my best weight before my trip, and 3.6 lbs. down from the morning I flew down to Dallas. That drop in one week would be acceptable in any circumstances, but knowing how much I have eaten this past week… I am just amazed, once again, that I can lose weight while eating. That gives me hope that when it is time to wean myself off the program I will be able to maintain my weight, as long as I am mindful about it.

    Last night after class Leslie prepared the leftover Chinese food along with some wonderful chicken and lamb skewers that we both enjoy. Because it was the Sabbath, we also shared a bottle of sparkling wine. Normally I can take it or leave it, but the bottle she chose for yesterday was very tasty, and I enjoyed my fair share of it. I had been worried the previous evening because I had some of the rice with my dinner, but I did the same last night without worrying about the consequences. As it turns out, there were none! I will say that yesterday I ate more than I usually do throughout the day – we had a salad for lunch, but I also had two handfuls of almonds and another meal replacement shake throughout the day. I am learning that I have to listen to my body when it tells me that I need calories, especially on the days that I exercise. It is great to have a caloric deficit resulting in weight loss; it is not wonderful when you are lightheaded and almost collapse midday from that caloric deficit.

    Today is, sadly, my last full day in Dallas. It is the last day that I will both wake up with and go to sleep next to my wife until the end of April, which always makes us both sad. Fortunately I have booked my next trip down, but there is only so much that we can do. Will the State Department get off their heinies and let me live with my wife please? We will make the most of the day though… we have things to do, but we will start with our now traditional weekend latté and cigar on the balcony, and we will end it with a lovely dinner out for which we will get dressed to the nines. We are hoping that her new dress arrives today, but if it does not then I still know that she will look fabulous in whatever she wears. As for me, the uniform of the evening will be my blue suit, which is the only one I brought with me.

    I went to the optometrist yesterday and picked out a new pair of sunglasses. I was really hoping they would be able to switch the lenses from my current pair (which are falling apart) with the previous pair (which are in perfect shape, just the wrong prescription). The lenses are almost identical in shape, but only different enough to prevent them from doing that. I will wear the decrepit pair for the next five weeks, and then will switch to the new pair… which is radically different (but not at all radical). They are also a fancy brand name (which I confess I had never heard of), which will be a change from my previous several pair. Leslie likes me in them, and I confess I like the new look too.

    The weather today is not great, but there is no precipitation forecast the next few days. We will probably need sweaters to sit on the balcony, but we are both fine with that. After that, we will head out to run our errands and enjoy the day… and we will try to forget that I have to leave tomorrow. That is a sword hanging over our heads that always makes both of us sad. I will stay mindful today and will be good and true to my modified program, especially knowing that Monday morning I am back on the full-fast for the next five months.

    I have given some thought to how long I plan to stay on the full-fast program, as well as the modified program. If I lose an average of .4 lb. per day (2.8 lbs. per week) consistently for the next four months, then on my birthday I will weigh about 222 lbs., which is absolutely incredible to me. If I lose an average of 3.5 lbs. per week (.5 lb. per day) then I will be at 210 lbs. Either way, as long as I do not have a terrible period of stagnation, I will be off the program by then – probably by July 1, a few days before that. As amazing that it is to me that I lost 100 lbs. in the first year of the program, it is absolutely inconceivable to me that from my birthday last year – by which point I had already lost sixty pounds – to my birthday this year, if I stay on this track then I will lose between 110-120 lbs. in the 365 days. If that is not something to strive for then I don’t know what is. To put that in perspective of the lulls and plateaus in my journey, one year ago today I weighed exactly ninety pounds less than I did this morning. All sorts of wow.

    I have picked up the latté and I am going to sit on the balcony relaxing. Today will be a day devoid of any stresses or obligations. The only thing that I (quite unfortunately) have to do today is pack… which makes me terribly sad. In an hour or so I am going to get a notice that it is time to check in for my flight, and I will do so sadly. I do not want to go… despite all of the obligations back in Canada.

    Have a great day folks.

  • Day 422

    I absolutely killed it yesterday! Knowing the weather was going to be less than agreeable, I took advantage of the opportunity to try the treadmill in the gym in the apartment complex. They may not have every piece of equipment that a commercial gym has, but what they have is extremely high quality. I have always disliked running on treadmills because at my heavier weight, the belt tends to slip under my feet, causing me to lose my footing… or at least to feel like I am losing my footing. Here’s the thing… I am no longer 300+ pounds, am I? It is still hard for me to register that I am actually at the high end of a reasonable weight range, and that better equipment such as the treadmills in this gym are more than capable of supporting my weight.

    I did not slip, I did not slide, I did not fall. I set the pace of the machine at what I thought might be a reasonable pace, I pressed play on my audiobook, and I started my trackers. While I did take a couple of 3-minute intermissions (I needed to hydrate, plus I needed to stretch out my hip) it was nearly ninety minutes before I called it a day. I jogged eleven kilometres, although the exact distance might not be quite accurate. I am going to have to calibrate my stride length properly on the treadmill, but there is no doubt that I jogged well over 10km, which is only one of several personal bests that I achieved today. I know that I had the pace set faster than I usually jog in the streets; as a result of that, according to the Garmin Connect portal I set my personal records for fastest 5km and fastest 10km, as well as my longest run. I will not be trying to repeat that today.

    After coming in from the gym I hit the shower quickly. Due to the faster pace of my running, combined with the fact that there is no cool breeze when jogging indoors, I really needed it. I have not been that sweaty from working out in a long time! I was then finally able to move my bowels. Even so, I decided to buy a large jar of fibre that I started taking yesterday afternoon, and continued this morning, adding it to my meal replacement shake. I was hoping that by switching to eating regular foods – including plenty of leafy vegetables – I would not need the fibre while I was here, and for a couple of days I did not… but then I realized that it is a small price to pay for regularity.

    I stepped onto the scale after my jog and loved seeing that the numbers drop below 265 lbs., but of course I know that my post-workout numbers are a fantasy, and the next morning is what really matters. I did lose weight from yesterday, but only .4 lb., putting me at 266.6 lbs. on the bathroom scale. That means I am 6.2 lbs. from matching my best weight from 2020, and 11.6 lbs. from matching my best adult weight ever. If ever there was incentive to keep doing what I am doing, there you have it.

    Lunch was another salad from our favourite drive-thru salad place. Seriously, had you asked me a decade ago if I would ever have a favourite drive-thru salad place I would have asked you if those really existed… and then followed up with something like ‘why do they exist?’ Well, here I am, aged fifty, and not only do I have one… but I discovered it on my own by accident. I decided to change things up a bit these last couple of days. Wednesday I had the autumn salad, and yesterday I opted for the Greek salad (no olives, thank you very much). Later in the afternoon I had a handful of almonds, but that was all I ate before dinner. We ended up going out for Chinese food; aside from a few bites of brown rice, I stuck to exactly the same menu as what I planned out and ordered the last time we went, which means that while it was a treat meal, it was not an extravagant or unthinking one.

    Leslie and I have some work that we want to do together – we have a project we want to work on which will benefit both of us professionally. The forecast is partly cloudy with a predicted high of 56°, so it is not as if either of us would be playing hooky to go sit by the pool. Tomorrow’s high is only slightly higher than today’s, but it is our last complete day together, so unless there is another Tornado Watch, my wife and I will be getting dressed up and going out for a nice dinner. Leslie has one work meeting during the day, which will be my cue to go to the gym. I do not want to break any records today, but if I can do a 5km jog I will be happy with it.

    I am teaching this evening, so while we will light the Shabbat candles during my evening break, we will be sitting down for dinner around 8:15pm. The plan for this evening’s meal is going to be dim sum and skewers, with the leftover rice from last night’s dinner. I think we both hate the fact that we have only two evenings left together on this trip, but we will make the most of them. Tomorrow during the day we have a couple of errands to run, including going to Costco. I do not know what else we will do, but we will be together the entire day… and longing for it to not come to an end. I really do long for the day when we live together, rather than monthly visits that come to an end with a teary goodbye at an airport.

    Have a great day folks!