Losing a part of me

Category: Exercise

  • Day 327

    Yesterday was mostly a success. I had an extra protein in the evening – Not a full meal, but one chicken leg – because I was quite hungry after a good workout. I also had some dried apricots before the workout for carbohydrates. Neither of those is likely the reason my weight was slightly up this morning. That is most likely from the inability to move my bowels this morning. If I can get back on track these next few days, then I have confidence that my weight will begin to fall again.

    I am not worried about the bowels by the way. I have a good friend who spent a week suffering from constipation so bad that he tells me he was vomiting and needed to see a doctor. While I am usually regular enough to set a clock by, I have been known to miss a day… especially when I have had diarrhea for a day or two, followed by a really good BM. If I go two days without a successful poop, then I might consider speaking to my doctor… if I am in pain, which thus far I am not.

    I mentioned that I had a good workout yesterday. Yes, I finally got back into the gym. I did a little over two miles on the treadmill, and then some weight machines. While doing leg extensions, I started to feel that the issue with my knee might not be gout after all. As my doctor requested, I will get an x-ray done this week. It is entirely possible I have a touch of osteo-arthritis… not a pleasant option. With that said, it is still a manageable condition that if I have to, I can live with.

    While it was supposed to come Friday, I finally got the call this morning that my new (replacement) mattress is being delivered today between 1pm-4pm. Yes, it was always supposed to be delivered today, they just told me I would get the call about the timeframe three days prior, rather than the day of. Okay, that is not a problem. I was scheduled to be here all day until the call came. Now I can manage the rest of my day… I did not have plans to go anywhere today but decided in the end to change my haircut appointment from next week. After all, I am teaching on camera this week, and as my wife pointed out last night (again), the beard has gotten quite a bit out of hand!

    My personal trainer emailed me that she is back from vacation, and we are scheduled for our next two sessions. Tomorrow morning at 10am is the next one, which means that if I want to be ready, I have to be at the gym by 9:00am to do my stretches. I think she is great, but I also think she is completely unrealistic with the stretches that she wants me to do. I plan to tell her that tomorrow. I know, she wants me to be buff and toned and everything… I do not believe that in order for a fifty-year-old man to stretch for his exercises, he needs to balance his back leg on a bench and do maneuvers that he feels zero balance on and is afraid he is going to injure himself on. With all due respect, there has to be a better way. I know that what she is showing me is great, and probably better for people who plan to be hardcore… anything. I do not have to be hardcore; I just need to be limber enough to not injure myself when I work out. I will go into the gym early tomorrow, and I will stretch… but I will stretch as I would in advance of a Taekwondo class, which will not involve any apparatus or implements, just me.

    Today is a cool and cloudy day. The forecast is for a high of 0°, which is about average for this time of year. It is also calling for wind gusts up to 20 km/h, which means that there will be a sustained breeze. All this to say that it will be a comfortable day for walking my Princess Sophie, as well as for sitting on the balcony with a cigar this evening, should I choose to do so. We will see. In the meantime, I am going to try to do some studying today, as well as preparation for my class which begins tomorrow evening. I am currently waiting on someone else for something, which is never fun… I do not understand why the site is saying that they can reset my password automatically, but that option is just not working. Yes, I know it is a technical glitch, and that they are not open on the weekends… but what a pain!

    I guess I forgot to close this as other errands and tasks came up. My day has so far gone well – I went for my haircut (without any stops for cheats along the way), I had my lunch (the normal chicken with salad), and my mattress was delivered. I think I should go do some grocery shopping because I finished all of my vegetables today.

    I realized that tomorrow will be tight – after my morning workout with the trainer, I will come home and make a quick lunch. The World Cup match is at 2:00pm, which means I need to be done with lunch and on the road by 1:30pm. In the worst-case scenario – if the game goes to extra time and then to penalties – the game will be over by about 5:00pm… but if it does go that long, I will have to cut out around 4:30pm. I am teaching tomorrow evening, and I like to be logged on early for my class – especially the first day. Here’s hoping that my Argentina side wins handily in regular time!

    It is amazing how easily a day can get away from you. What I thought would be a simple day in a simple week has since changed completely. While I usually close my journal entry early in the day, it is now 4:15pm, and I just got off the phone with a training broker who wants to work with me. That phone call lasted over an hour, most of which was not discussing professional topics… although he was extremely complimentary about my speaking voice and cadence, which as a trainer is important. I also had to spend some time on the phone with tech support for the company that provides the labs for my class that starts tomorrow. I have not gone shopping, but plan to try to do that now. I am not going to the gym this evening – I have a session with my trainer at 10:00am tomorrow, and those two would be too close together. I will do my shopping, and then at some point I will take my Princess Sophie for a walk. I forgot to put it on this morning, so my fitness watch is reading 1,000 steps at 4:15pm. Not nice. Gotta make some of them up!

    Have a great day folks… whatever is left of it!

  • Day 326

    I have to remain strong today. Yesterday went almost identically to Friday, with the exception of the challah – there was none. I was down below 305 lbs., but now it is time to get serious. We are ten days from New Years Eve; if I am going to achieve my 100-pound loss in the year 2022, I have to lose just about one pound per day between now and then. It will be tough.

    Today is the first snowy day of the season. It is not the first time we have seen snow, which did happen a few times in November. Rather, it was the first time we woke up to significant accumulation outside. The cars are covered, the streets and sidewalks and lawns are equally white. Princess Sophie, never a fan of precipitation, was not impressed. I could not coax her beyond the grassy area just outside the door, where she did her business quickly before turning around and heading right back inside. I know that when Charlie goes out later she will be more willing to venture further, but alone she was having none of it. All this to say that if I want to get any exercise today, I will be heading to the gym… which was part of my plan anyways.

    I am still down. I do not want to document here why I am down but suffice it to say that I really hope that the therapist I reached out to is able to fit me into her schedule. I know that I cannot fix me without outside help. I only hope that I can get that help without waiting too long, which might have consequences. I am thinking that is she does not get back to me by then, I will ask my doctor for another recommendation the next time I see him, which will be in ten days.

    I am going to spend a little time studying before heading to the gym. My original plan was to stay home so as to avoid external temptations, but I think the gym is a smart move. I will go after lunch, which means that I will not be tempted to stop along the way… and that I will have energy stored in my body from the meal. No, there will not be any carbohydrates in my lunch, but I am not going to do anything severe enough to need them. I will start slow.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 313

    I was shocked to get on the scale this morning to discover I am three pounds down from what I weighed the first morning Leslie arrived. The surprise is from the fact that I have not been on my program. I have not been going overboard, but I have not been sticking to it. There were only three days when I did not have a meal replacement shake for breakfast, including today; this morning was the only time we went out for breakfast, but we have eaten out several meals over these ten days. While we did not eat out last night, I prepared a spaghetti and meat sauce for us, which is absolutely not on the program… but it was good. Three pounds down… truly the best I could have hoped for, especially since I was expecting to be five pounds up.

    Today is a very sad say, knowing that after lunch I will be driving Leslie to the airport. We are starting the countdown to her next visit, another thirty days. It breaks my heart knowing that we will be apart for that long, and I know it pains her as bad if not worse.

    Over those thirty days, it is my intention to stick to my weight loss routine. I will be doing much less (and hopefully no) cheating than I have been doing. Additionally, I will be hitting the gym several times per week. I will make sure I am doing a mixture of cardio (mostly on the treadmill) and muscle building (mostly with the machines). I know that these are a good combination to help me to lose weight. I will make sure to eat healthy proteins after, as well as a small amount of carbohydrates before each workout. I will be mindful of my knee, but the knowledge that my problems there were caused by gout and not by an injury means that I will be able to ramp up to a good level quicker than if I had to baby that leg.

    While I am not counting my weight as a victory (nor as a loss), I do have one non-scale victory to report. This morning I was able to squeeze into my Levi’s 501 Size 40 jeans. You may remember that a few weeks ago – a couple of days after slicing open my finger – I tried to wear them by accident and thought I might have been able to close the top button if I had use of my finger. Today they are tight, and it did take me a couple of tries to secure that top button, but they fit, and I am wearing them comfortably. Owing to the smaller waist of the pants, I am also wearing my Size 40 belt that I was not able to wear before. Woohoo!

    After dropping Leslie at the dreaded airport, I will meet Eduardo to watch Uruguay in the World Cup. He is a huge fan, and knowing that Canada has no chance to advance, I will support his team to defeat Portugal. Yes, I am officially supporting Argentina, but I can also get behind my buddy’s squad. After the match, we will likely go to his house for a cigar. I wish I could spend the afternoon and evening with my wife. The countdown’s on.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 312

    Yesterday was a very relaxing day for us. I prepared an omelette for breakfast, and we shared the leftover challah roll from the previous evening’s Shabbat blessings. I then enjoyed a cigar on the balcony in the morning as Leslie sat knitting. We did not need the heater on which is impressive for November 26 in this part of the world. We took a very relaxing afternoon nap together, which is something we both enjoy tremendously!

    We spent the evening at Lyle and Dorothy’s, together with Rob and his wife Pippa. It was a lovely evening, and as always, the food was spectacular… even though both Lyle and Dorothy were not pleased with the presentation of their parts of the meal. Just sitting and socializing was nice, but the food (and the dessert) was quite tasty!

    After charging it the previous evening, I forgot to don my fitness watch in the morning, so my long walk with Princess Sophie did not get registered. If that is the worst thing that happened in a day, then I am considering it a win! I do not care that Garmin thinks I only walked 2500 steps in a day… we know better!

    Today is Leslie’s last full day in town. Tomorrow afternoon I have to drive her to the airport, and we will be facing yet another month-long separation, which is always hard for both of us. I am glad that she will be back in time to welcome in the New Year, but our time apart keeps getting harder and harder. I pray that in the new year, the Department of State will finally see fit to approving my spousal visa so that we can live together forever.

    On tap for today… not much. I think we are going to have a fairly quiet day close to home. If there is anything that we decide to do then we will, but our main focus will be on being together and maximizing our time together. The forecast calls for a high of 6° Celsius, and for rain much of the day. We have plenty of food in the house, both ready to prepare and leftovers, so unless there is something that really piques her fancy, we will likely eat in.

    Tomorrow afternoon I will with a heavy heart drive my wife to the airport, and then I will drive to Milton to hang out with Eduardo. He bought a mezuzah, and I will hang it for him and say the proper blessings for that. Tuesday morning, I will start my new regimen of going to the gym nearly every day. No, I will not commit to going every day, but most days. Now that my concerns about my knee (as well as the excruciating pain) are behind me, I can get into beast mode. No, I am not going to push myself too hard… but I will be combining aerobic and anaerobic exercises to get my slimmer body back into shape. I will also, after the leftovers are gone, be going back onto my religious food intake program that I was doing so well with… and there will be no cheating for the entire month that Leslie is in Dallas. I am relieved that the weight that I gained during my knee issues and her visit has been minimal, and I look forward to attacking that best-weight-ever territory again… once I have lost about six pounds. My food intake and my workout regimen will make that a reality, and while the 50 kg year is looking more and more unlikely, the 100 lbs. lost in the year is still very much on the table. It is important to set goals in my weight loss. It is also important to remember them every time I am tempted to cheat.

    I am going to see if Leslie is awake, and if she is not then I will sit on the balcony with a cigar. If she is awake, I will spend more quality time with her. She needed the rest, so I let her sleep in (and prevented Princess Sophie from interrupting that as well).

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 307

    This morning I did something that I have not been able to do for over a week. I went about my morning routine, took my pills, but did not include pain killers. Yes, my knee is actually starting to feel semi-normal again! I am very happy about that. After making a scrumptious breakfast of French toast for my wife (of which I only had a few small bites), I had a meal replacement shake. If there is any better sign of my commitment to eating but not overdoing it this week, I do not know what that might be! For lunch, I am going to pick up one of Leslie’s favourites… and one of mine too. Shawarma is a huge delicacy in parts of the world where I have spent a great deal of time, and I have always considered it to be part of my culture. Strictly speaking, it should not be too much of an aberrance from my weight loss program… as long as I do not do it too often.

    It seems to be turning into a lovely day outside, and I suspect that Leslie and I will take advantage of that by sitting on the balcony and enjoying a cigar. Even if I have to turn the heater on, it will be lovely for us to be able to do that. Last night we went to Eduardo’s for a couple of cigars, and that was truly nice… but we also enjoy smoking when it is just the two of us. Today will be such a day. I know that tomorrow we are going to Cambridge, where we will smoke with Ryan et al, and Thursday we are going to Hamilton to have Thanksgiving dinner with Lyle and Dorothy (as well as with Rob and Pippa), so being able to spend a day where it is just the two of us will be a delight.

    While my weight yesterday morning was up above the 310-pound mark, today it is down nearly half a pound, at 310 pounds even. I am okay with that, knowing that I only have a few days left of ‘vacation with my wife,’ after which I will go back to my boring routine. I am truly hoping that by the end of the week my knee will be back to normal. While I doubt I will be back in the gym before she leaves, I would like to resume that next Monday. Knowing (or at least now strongly suspecting) that the injury to my knee was not an injury at all, but was in fact just gout, I will be able to hit the ground running. Even so, I suspect that I will be skittish about my lower body and will spend a lot of focus on my upper body strength for a bit. The treadmill will be my go-to lower-body routine for a bit.

    Today should be a relaxing day with my wife… a bit of shopping, a lovely lunch, and soaking up all of the love that a married couple should have.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 297

    It is frustrating that I do so well throughout a day, and then ruin it at the end. I do not think that the challah and peanut putter I had last night was worth a 1.2 lbs. gain this morning, especially after a good workout. I am glad though that after my workout, the scale at the gym read 9 lbs. lower than this morning’s weigh-in.

    My trainer and I worked out again yesterday, and yes, I am feeling it in my muscles today. I am not sure when our next session will be, owing to the fact that I am teaching every day next week. It is likely that a couple of them will be while Leslie is here, and then the remaining sessions will be after Kezi is back from her vacation.

    Speaking of Leslie, we are now inside one week from her visit. I am so excited that I will finally see her again! Yes, it has been too long.

    Eduardo is coming over for a cigar this afternoon, but I think I will head to the gym now for a bit. I will not do a full workout, I will just get onto the treadmill for half an hour or so. I find my pace on the treadmill is much faster than my pace when walking on the street… even though I do not enjoy it nearly as much.

    Okay, here’s the plan: I am going to be at the gym from 10-12 (which will include shower and sauna and stuff). I will come home and make my lunch, and then cigars with Eduardo. I know he is going through some difficult things right now, and I will always be a compassionate ear to listen when friends are in need.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 296–Remembrance Day

    On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month the guns fell silent for the last time.

    Not quite.

    This morning I eschewed my regular fedora, deciding instead to wear my military cover. I did not expect anyone to recognize it for what it was, although one fellow dog walker commented that it was an interesting hat. As she often does, Princess Sophie decided to stop and play with Davey as the kids waited for their school bus. One kid (maybe nine or ten years old) said ‘That one minute of silence… it feels like ten hours!’ I wanted to tell him about my friends, boys really not that much older than him, who were silenced forever. I wanted to tell him how ten hours of constant explosions can feel like a minute… and an eternity.

    Last night I folded my laundry and had a bittersweet moment. Knowing that tomorrow will be the last day with a forecast high of double digits for several months, I separated my golf shirts (which are the main component of my summer wardrobe) from my long sleeve shirts and put them into a drawer. Among those that went away for the season are several that I will likely never wear again, having shrunk out of them. I have been wearing mostly XXL shirts for the few months, but there were (until last night) two 3XL shirts in my rotation: a purple one that I always loved, and a pink one that has always been Leslie’s favourite. Come spring, most of the shirts that I put away last night will likely be given to charity. The purple one will go for sure. Leslie will not let me get rid of that pink shirt, no matter what. As strange as this might sound for a golf shirt, I might try to get it tailored down to size. We’ll see. Maybe it will just live in my drawer forever, or when I finally move to Dallas, hanging in our closet.

    It feels really good to be shrinking out of my clothes. I am really looking forward to the day when even the custom-tailored suits that I have been waiting for be able to wear, which were bought when I was at my lowest weight of the last twenty-five years, no longer fit and have to be either put away or given to charity. Even though when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see a morbidly obese reflection of myself, both the numbers on the scale and the fit of my clothes are good indicators of the tremendous progress I have made. The reflection looking back at me? That is a morphing of the road I have ahead, and the psychological damage of a kid who would never be good enough.

    I did my first full workout with Kezi yesterday, and yes, I did all of the warmups before starting. Today is our next workout, and I will once again do all of my warmups. I promise. I swear. Prior to the workout, I decided to pick up a handful of dried apricots, which gave me the carbohydrates to fuel the workout. Honestly, I do not know if the carbs work or not, but I ate them, I enjoyed them, and I will do the same today. As it was, I was feeling a bit dizzy and light-headed during the workout, which is most likely due to my low blood pressure. I do not want to make it worse by not having the fuel to keep me going.

    One thing I asked Kezi to adjust going forward. The workout that we did yesterday was mostly with free weights. I told her that if we would be working out together long term that would be fine, I feel that for my program to be sustainable for the long term, we should focus on the machines. We have five more workouts together, and the reason I paid for the package was because I want to know the best way to work out alone. I think the machines are a much smarter way for me to go than trying to remember every workout with free weights, especially knowing that I don’t know if my form is right or not. She told me she understands and will adjust her plans for us accordingly. I am looking forward to seeing how that plays out today.

    The only cheat on my program yesterday was the dozen dried apricots, and the numbers on the scale reflected that. My bathroom scale this morning read 303.0 lbs. which puts me back into the best-weight-ever territory (by only 0.2 lb.) . After my workout yesterday, the needle on the scale at the club read 299 lbs., making it the first time I have registered under 300 pounds since February 17, 2021. Of course, the post-workout weigh-in may feel good, but it is meaningless for me. The only weigh-ins that count are my morning weigh-ins, and the only ones that I actually register in this journal consistently are the semi-weekly weigh-ins at my doctor’s office. The next one of those is on Wednesday, November 23. I hope by then to drop from 139kg to 136kg… 299.8 lbs., with my clothes on.

    If 2022 will truly be the year I lose 50kg, then as of my last weigh-in I am still 10kg (about 22 lbs.) from that goal, and I have less than two months to achieve it. The 100 lbs. loss is certainly achievable, as I am only about 8 lbs. shy of that number. Losing eight pounds in seven weeks is absolutely achievable. Losing 22 lbs. in the same seven weeks? I am going to try my best, but I will not be terribly upset if I fall slightly shy of that number. If I do, then I will settle for losing fifty kilograms in 365 days, which gives me until January 20 to do it. I am still going to try to get there by December 31 though!

    I do not know why I agreed to an 11am workout on Remembrance Day, but I did. We will have to start a couple of minutes late, as I will observe my minutes of silence. I do not expect those around me to, but it would be nice if they did. I know that my wife is thinking about me today. She has already told me that she is thinking about me and my service this morning. I have not responded, but I will call her right now.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 295

    My weight seems to be back on track today. While I am still 1lb above my best weight from a few days ago, I am a full 3 lbs. down from yesterday’s disgusting reading.

    The thing is, I stepped onto the analog scale at the gym yesterday, which is probably more accurate than the one I have at home. I did weigh myself after my workout, which can be deceptive, but the needle was straddling the 300 lbs. line. I would be extremely happy if that was the accurate reading; with that said, I have been trusting my bathroom scale at home for nearly 300 days of weight loss, and however inaccurate it might be, it is a mostly consistent inaccurate.

    I went to the gym yesterday, splitting my time between the treadmill and the elliptical trainer. While I know how long I was on the two machines (slightly under an hour), I do not have accurate measures of my distance or pace. Had I written down what registered on the machines I would have that information; unfortunately, based on my redundant fitness trackers (fitness watch, smartphone app) I have nothing other than the times. I have to remember going forward that when I am holding on to the handles of the machine (which it likes to prod you to do for heart rate monitoring) it is impossible for those devices to detect footfalls… or if not impossible, then at least highly inaccurate. With the elliptical trainer, you do not have a choice. On the treadmill, I do. I’ll remember that from now on.

    This afternoon I am working out with my personal trainer for the first time in five years. While I did work out with a personal trainer when I was living in Ottawa in 2018, I always preferred working with Kezi, who I worked with for a few years when I was previously living in Burlington. We had our first session together on Tuesday, but that was just for her to see where I was at, what my goals and expectations are, and to weigh me. Today is when the real workouts begin. She did give me a series of eight warm-up exercises that she wants me to do prior to our session. Stretching and warming up has always been my Achilles heel. I know that they are important and will go into the gym today 30 minutes early to get that done. I know that I am not a young man anymore, and the chance of injury is higher than it once was. I promise to do the stretches!

    Last night when I came in from the balcony, I decided to crack open the clothes-that-do-not-fit-yet bins. We did not go deep into the short sleeve shirts because it will not be t-shirt weather for a while now, but I did pull out three long-sleeved t-shirts that fit just fine… and which definitely did not fit when I packed them into the bins. To my slight disappointment, there were no Size 40 pants. This is because when I was losing weight last time, I ordered a few pair from Amazon, but slid down to the Size 38 so quick that I was able to return those and exchange them for the smaller size. I do have two bags marked Sizes 38/36, which I know will take me a while to open. In the meantime, in a few weeks I will likely be buying a couple of pair of Size 40 pants (my 30” inseam should not have changed).

    The number of clothes-that-do-not-fit-yet bins has shrunk from five to two or one, depending on how we classify the Taekwondo bin (much of which did not fit, but would fit now). I was able to amalgamate a couple last night and eliminate one more this morning. I had one that was suits; one suit is still going to be tight, and the sports jacket does not fit… yet; they are close enough that they can be taken to the dry cleaners and then hang in my closet. There are two suit jackets that are too big, and they are going into the ‘donate now’ bin today. Even if they did fit, I am not sure I still have the matching pants. Nevertheless, dropping from five do-not-fit bins to two is a huge sign of amazing progress, especially on days when I look at myself and still see a fat man.

    Today is going to be another gorgeous day in Burlington, Ontario… one of the last ones of the season, it would seem. While both tomorrow and Saturday have forecast highs of 14°/13° Celsius respectively, tomorrow has an 80% chance of rain, and Saturday will be cloudy all day. With a forecast high of 18° today with sun all day, it will be my last day to sit outside comfortably. I will do just that. I will see if Eduardo wants to come over again, knowing that he would have to come earlier and leave by 4:00pm, so that I can get to the gym for my torture session with Kezi!

    I am making one minor adjustment to my nutrition regimen today. Prior to my workouts, I am going to stop and pick up a handful of dried fruit – usually apricots, but that can change at a whim – to get some carbohydrates before I hit the gym. Walking is one thing, if I am going to be doing anaerobic muscle-building exercises, I should have some carbs in my system for fuel. Aside from that, I will try to not cheat today. I will have my usual lunch, and then I will have a cigar on the balcony… whether Eduardo comes over or not.

    My diet buddy is on her way home. She checked out of the hospital yesterday and crossed the border into the USA. Today she and her partner will be flying across the continent, arriving home sometime this evening I would imagine. We knew in advance that we would not be checking in today, although she has been sending me progress reports, so I know she is okay. I look forward to chatting with her again next week. How cool would it be if by then I drop below the 300-pound mark!?

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 294

    I am frustrated by my weight-slide this morning, but more so because my floor seems to have gone back to being hinky. I wonder if that just means that the batteries in the scale are dying. I know that there was a 2.5 lbs. weight swing from one spot to another, just inches away. I decided, despite how frustrating it may be, to stick with the highest weight… which means I somehow gained three pounds from yesterday to this morning. I know that I was not able to poop, but three pounds? That is just not right.

    Today is Day 294. How nice would it be if by Day 300 (next Tuesday) I could weigh 300 lbs.? With the way my weight has been going, I don’t know if it is extremely realistic, or a pipe dream. I am going to give it my best to not cheat at all for the next few days, and hopefully get down to that milestone.

    I have prepared a shopping list for today because I know that I am going to forget something if I do not. I need milk, tomatoes, onions, coffee, and lettuce. I am going to the gym in the afternoon, and the shopping can wait until after that. I have just enough lettuce, onion, and tomato left for one salad, so I should be fine. Also, I have enough milk left for one more cup of coffee… if I decide to have one. It is rare that these needs all align so perfectly! Imagine if I also only had enough chicken left for one day? Nah, I could go through to the weekend without buying more if I had to.

    I asked my son the elder if he wants to go to Costco today, but I have not heard back from him. I assume that is a big NO, so Costco is not in the cards… nor is seeing my son the elder today.

    I am really feeling blasé this week and know that I need to head to the gym in order to try to kick myself out of that. I am not down or depressed… but I do feel that before I can sit on my balcony this afternoon with a cigar, I should go to the gym and try to accomplish… something. Lord knows, I have not gotten anything done this week. Who knows? If I stick with my program and have a good workout today (it will mostly be cardio, maybe an hour on the treadmill) then maybe tomorrow morning I will feel better about myself when I step off the scale.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 293

    While I did have a (smaller than usual) handful of peanuts yesterday, I mostly stuck to the plan. I had a good day with regard to food intake. I wish my bathroom scale was not being wonky again. Yesterday and today I got two (or three) very different readings. Yesterday, they ranged from 305.6 to 303.2 lbs., while today they were 305.2 to 304 lbs. On both days I settled on the lower number, which means that in theory, today I gained nearly a pound. Knowing that yesterday was a doctor’s office day, I am less concerned by yesterday’s weight, and will gladly discard it, meaning that this morning’s 304.0 lbs. has be back in best-weight-yet territory.

    Yesterday was a good day for non-scale victories. First of all, I joined a gym. This will not be like my Los Angeles fitness club debacle, where I joined with my ex-girlfriend, and then for the nearly two years I was a member hardly ever went. No, I plan to go to the gym… a lot. I plan to go five times per week over the next few months. I am meeting today with my personal trainer (I bought a package of seven sessions and will work with her to develop a plan for going forward). Today’s meeting is just to discuss my goals, which I think are continued weight loss plus building muscles. I have never had (and do not really want) a body builder’s body, but it would be nice to have slightly larger muscles than I do.

    Today’s meeting with Kezi is only a consultation, and we will work out for the first time on Friday. For today, my plan is that after our meeting, I will hop on the treadmill for a good walk – maybe an hour or so – and then shower and sauna there. While I packed my workout bag last night, I realized this morning that I will need a sundries bag. I have one for travel, but I do not want to take that to the gym. Fortunately, it is the time of year when the pharmacy puts the kits on sale in preparation for Christmas, so I will pick one up before I go in. We are meeting at noon, which means that I will likely not be home before 3:00pm… and that my daily meal will have to wait until after that… and that I had better prepare for this by taking a protein bar or shake with me so that I do not spend three hours starving and with no energy.

    Last night I told Leslie of this plan, and she reminded me (in the strongest terms) that it has been a few weeks since I went for a fitness walk, and that I should take care to pace myself, and not hurt or injure myself as I go. On the one hand, she is a bit of a worrier. On the other hand, she has a point. I have come home from my fitness walk a few times with painful and blistered feet. While most often this was because I wore bad shoes, I still have to remember that I am a fifty-year-old man who is still fat, and I cannot push myself like I once could.

    I opened this entry with talk of non-scale victories. The first was joining the gym… although really, the victory will be when I am going to the gym on a regular basis, and not just handing them my credit card. The second was clothing related. Last week I mentioned that I accidentally put on a pair of Size 40 jeans, and that while they were tight, I thought that if my finger was not injured, I might be able to wear them. Last night while speaking with my wife I put them on, and indeed was able to button them up. This was huge for me, and while I will likely wait another week or two before wearing them, it is amazing to know that I can. What I should do is open up my storage bins and see what other Size 40 pants I have, and if they fit me yet. I might do that later today.

    I just finished chatting with my weight-loss buddy, who had her surgery yesterday. She is in good spirits and is quite impressed with the level of care there. I am very happy, because as I likely stated previously, I was worried about the tourism surgery issue. I am relieved that she is doing well.

    What else do I have to do today? I am running out of coffee, so there will be a trip to the supermarket on the calendar. As well, my bank card has been having issues, so I am going to go into the branch and see what is going on… and probably order a new card. I am also going to the pharmacy for a sundries kit. I should also put the empty propane tank into my car, and get it filled up – the petrol station where I can do that is just down the street from the gym, which is convenient. When I get home from the gym, I will have a mid-afternoon meal. I will take Princess Sophie for a walk in the evening. I do not think I have anything else planned for the day. I will relax in the evening. I do not know if the weather will be amenable to a cigar on the balcony, but I will think about that too.

    Have a great day everyone!