Losing a part of me

Category: Fiancée

  • Day 147

    Yesterday morning I watched the video of my Black Belt test on Facebook Memories. It got me excited, reminding me of what I used to be able to do. I decided to do something about it. I reached out to one of the guys I used to train with – one of the guys I sparred with in that test. He now owns a Taekwondo school less than five kilometres from my apartment. We chatted for a couple of minutes, and it was decided. For the first time in two years (since pre-Covid, really), I attended my first Taekwondo classes. I participated first in the Senior Belt Class, and then in the Adults (All Levels) Class. It was amazing to get back into it. The instructor is a man who holds the same rank as I do, but who I remember teaching as a Colour Belt, so many years ago. I was introduced to both classes as an old friend, and it was wonderful to participate again.

    After the class, I sat with Master Brunet and we discussed old times, and we discussed my situation with geography. He told me that as long as I was living in Burlington, I am welcome to attend and participate. He appreciated that I was able to take aside some of his students and show them how to improve upon their form. Every martial arts student has something to improve upon, and when an outside elder like myself (yes, it seems I am now an elder) points things out and does not just say ‘You are doing it wrong!’ but rather ‘Try this, and you will make it better!’ they can improve tremendously.

    I see in my near future a few new articles on martial arts.

    With the exception of peanuts, I was good yesterday. I also had a great workout in the evening. The result is I am down on the bathroom scale, which is where I want to be.

    I have a tee time scheduled at a local golf course shortly. It is a course I have not played before… or maybe I played it once more than a decade ago with a colleague. I am not sure, but if it has been that long, it will be as if I have never played there. I am looking forward to my fourth round of golf of the year, and only hope that the weather holds. There is a 50% chance of rain and possible thunderstorms for a couple of hours. I am hoping that it bypasses us, but we’ll see. Either way, I am heading there now.

    I have defrosted a piece of salmon for dinner this evening. I’ll steam some vegetables to go with it and should have a nice meal. Today will be the last full day of my diet for the next week, as I am flying to Dallas tomorrow to see my baby! I will still be mindful of my intake, and will continue writing every day to keep accountable.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 145

    I am not sure why I have been putting off writing this morning. I sat down at my computer over an hour ago, and it took me this long to get through my first sentences. Sigh.

    Yesterday morning I took my boys for breakfast at the same place we usually go. I sent our favourite waitress an email letting her know we would be coming, but she replied that she had been fired for no reason. Boo. The waitress makes little difference to the quality of the food (which is always good) or the coffee (which is always terrible), but a good server can make a meal more enjoyable. The woman serving us yesterday did not do that. Oh well. I had my usual healthy breakfast, and we had a nice time together.

    When we arrived at the restaurant, we were told there would be a 30–45-minute wait for a table, and that they would send me a text message when it was ready. We decided to walk across the street. The bookstore was closed, but the art supplies store was not. We walked around, and it turned out they sell STEM toys. My son the elder encouraged my son the younger to pick a couple out (as they were on a buy one, get 50% off the second sale), and while it was not his money to spend, I know that Gilad had never chosen a replacement STEM toy for the one that had not been delivered for his birthday. He was happy, and I never have an issue buying educational toys for my son.

    I had a headache from the moment I woke up, so after breakfast I came home and took a nap. HRF Princess Sophie was only too happy to keep me company. After a couple of hours, we got up and I went shopping… despite saying that I was going to, I did not go to the supermarket Saturday, and now I was completely out of veggies. When I came home, I made my chicken for dinner, and then sat outside with a cigar.

    I have a friend Josh who I have known for years, and a few years ago he and his wife invited me to celebrate Thanksgiving with them. Never one to turn down a turkey dinner, I was happy to bring a bottle of wine and cigars for after dinner. As we were smoking outside, he asked me: “Mitch, why is it that when I smoke any other cigar, I am left with a lousy taste in my mouth both that evening and the following morning… but when I smoke one of your cigars, I don’t get that?” The simple answer is that I only share very good cigars. Last night I smoked a cigar that was gifted to me by a friend, and let me tell you… I had to brush my teeth and gargle extra hard last night… and this morning. It was a very well-appointed cigar, with a double band that as embossed with the logo and fine print. The phrase ‘lipstick on a pig’ comes to mind. Still and all, when that friend asks me how it was, I will be nice about it.

    I mentioned yesterday that the previous day I had a very unpleasant encounter with someone. That person had told an extremely offensive anti-Semitic joke about gassing Jews, and as a result I will not hang out with or around that person again. It turns out though that I had inadvertently hurt Ryan’s sister’s feelings, and I felt terrible about that. I sent her an apology this morning, and hope that she will forgive me. I cannot help though but to wonder if her level of offense (the day after the fact) might not be somehow tied to the fact that her boyfriend is an anti-Semite, and she might be trying to create an equality that ‘Well yes, he said something that offended you… but you said something that offended me too, so it’s all good.’ I made sure that my apology did not try to excuse my words as anything other than stupid comments… but still I wonder.

    It is a beautiful day out, and I am looking forward to doing something I have not done in over a year. This afternoon I have a massage appointment booked, and I look forward to hopefully relieving some of the tension that is in my back and shoulders. I might take the opportunity to turn my mattress before I go, so that I will be sleeping on a fresh side. If I was smart, I would also go to buy new pillows… but knowing that in the next few months I will be moving in with Leslie, I do not want to rush to do that now. I am trying to keep my buying to a minimum… I already have too much stuff.

    Have a great day folks, and enjoy the weather… wherever you are!

  • Day 143

    I was convinced that today’s weight would be bad. I cheated yesterday with peanuts (although a reasonable amount), and some very dark chocolate, which has been in the house for months. With that said, I did not have my evening meal replacement, so it must have balanced out. I lost 1.6 lbs from yesterday. Remember yesterday? When I complained that what weight was gained in a day might take a week to lose? Well, I am happy to be redeemed on that front. I will cross my fingers that I stay on track.

    Yesterday morning I booked my Covid-19 test for my flight to see Leslie. An hour later, the USA announced that they would no longer require pre-departure testing effective Sunday, which means that I will not need the test. I am hoping that I will receive my refund (which, after a lot of searching, I discovered how to request). If I do not, I will still save the two hours that would have been required to sit in traffic getting there Wednesday afternoon. Yay.

    After a reasonable lunch, I am planning to head to see Ryan and enjoy a cigar or two. With gas prices being what they are, I might not have rushed to drive out there… but I left my hat there, and I definitely want to take it with me to Dallas, and so I have to pick it up. Princess Sophie likes the people out there as well, so it will be a nice change from sitting on my own patio smoking cigars.

    Before that, however, I will have to go do some shopping. I am completely out of every vegetable save onions and carrots, and if I want a salad with lunch, I gotta head to the supermarket. If my back was not bothering me, I might consider walking. As it is, no… my back has been tight for weeks now, and Leslie has been urging me to get a massage. I finally booked one, but it is for Monday. At least it will be in time for my flight!

    I am thinking that I might do something different with my chicken than I usually do. So often I simply spice it before throwing it into the air fryer. Today I might add the mango lime salsa to it, just to shake it up a bit. Yesterday I almost added salsa to my salmon, but instead I opted to prepare my Buffalo sauce. It is tasty and not terribly unhealthy, but it does have a lot of sugar in it. Other than that, I would be making Buffalo chicken for sure!

    I had a great chat with Leslie yesterday evening, and I did not want it to end. It is hard to believe that in five and a half days, we will be together again. It feels like forever, but it will pass and Thursday evening we will be together!

    The weather is currently gorgeous and sunny, but by 2pm there is an 80% chance of rain. Okay, I suppose the farmers need it. As I am not a farmer, I suppose it is just one more thing I’ll have to deal with. Dress appropriate and don’t roll the windows down in the car!

    Have a great day folks. I’m off to the supermarket.

  • Day 142

    A few extra mangos and some peanuts a few days ago caused my weight to jump nearly a pound and a half. Yet this morning, after a mostly good day, I was only down .2 lbs. Yes, I did have a couple of extra meal replacements… but I was still on a pretty good day. I know, that’s the way it goes… one cheat can take a week to recover from. Those darned mangos!

    Yes, I am in a better mood today than I was yesterday. While I am always completely open about my feelings and experiences and emotions, I exercise extreme discretion when it comes to others. My children and I have had discussions recently that have really thrown my emotions and affected my eating. The same is occasionally true for other people in my life, be they friends or loved ones. I write around those things because I do not want anyone to feel betrayed. Please understand that it is not me denying or hiding my feelings or emotions. I do discuss them… but I do not write about them when others might feel betrayed. Yes, Leslie and Lyle and occasionally Stephane get an earful about what I am going through!

    In six days, I will be in Dallas with my fiancée once more. I miss her so much. Our physical separation is painful, and I am so excited that in less than a week I will be able to hold her in my arms again. We have established what we call the ‘Rectangle Zone’ and the ‘Rectangle-Free Zone’… the times when we have to video chat versus the times we are actually together. It is always a relief to be with her again in the RFZ.

    After lunch today I am going to head over to Lyle’s house for a cigar on the patio. The temperatures will not be too hot (high of 22°c, but sunny), which means it will be nice and comfortable. Of course, with the configuration of their house, we might want to sit at the bottom of the stairs… the patio does not get any sun until the late afternoon, and we have found ourselves having to wear sweaters in the shade on the patio when we can be wearing t-shirts in his driveway. We’ll see. I think the last time I was there was Princess Sophie’s birthday, so not quite but close to two weeks ago. It will be good to spend time chatting with him.

    The weekend looks like there will be a mix of sun and rain, so I am not going to take the chance and try to golf. I’ll save that for early next week. Sunday morning I will try to take my son (the younger) for breakfast. Yes, I will try to stay true.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 140

    I stepped onto the scale this morning expecting to see the wrath of my cheating. I was surprised to be .6 lbs down from yesterday, which is awesome. The good news is that there is no more dried mango in the house. I will also admit that yes, I had some peanuts yesterday morning.

    There are days when it is harder being apart from my fiancée than others. Yesterday was one of the hard ones. It was her birthday, and she is not a huge fan of birthdays. Like any good, thoughtful, caring fiancée would, I called the florist on Monday and ordered a delivery, along with a lovely card. Yesterday morning I called her to wish her a happy birthday, and we chatted sporadically throughout the day (as we often do). Toward the end of the day, after she had expressed her exasperation about many things, I started to worry that wait… why hadn’t she at least gotten the flowers? I asked if she had received any deliveries, and she said she had not. I called the florist, but they were already closed. I sent an email expressing my displeasure (as politely as possible). Unfortunately, if they were closed, I would likely not get a response or satisfaction until the following day. Sure enough, this morning they responded that there was some sort of printer problem which prevented them from fulfilling the order, but it would be delivered first thing today… and it was, but still a day late.

    So how did I cheat yesterday? I think I have mentioned that I buy and stock certain snacks for Leslie (and I suppose for whoever else comes over and wants a snack) in the house. Of these, the only one that I really love is the dried mangos. Leslie knows this and does her best to hide them from me when she is not here. I have never really gone looking for them (well, once…) and they have never magically jumped out from their hiding place to tempt me… until last week. I was showing her son something in my pantry on video call, and I accidentally nudged a box of her cookies, causing them to fall… heavier than they should have. It turns out she hid the dried mangos in one place she knew I would never look! The good news is that there are no more dried mangos in the house to tempt me.

    The cleaning lady is coming today, but I also have some shopping to do. I am going to head out to the supermarket in a few minutes, and then at 2pm I will pick her up from the train station. I have nothing else planned for the day, although I might do some work on renewing expiring certifications. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 139

    I think I was reasonably good on the program yesterday, although I did have about 50g of peanuts in lieu of one of my meal replacements. I am glad that I was able to go to Bulk Barn, buy all of the chocolate marshmallows that Leslie and her son could want, fill up on pumpkin seeds (for salad toppings), and still only get a tiny number of peanuts.

    The number on the bathroom scale were good this morning… but they are meaningless on a day when I am seeing my doctor. I will be weighed on the ‘official’ scale in a little while, and I am hoping to record a huge loss over my last weigh-in. I know that 3kg is too much to hope for, but I do not think it unreasonable to expect a 2kg drop. My last weigh-in was shortly after my return from Cuba, but I know that was not the real reason I was not losing weight. More than anything, it was the peanuts. Small amounts might be reasonable, but the slippery slope from 100g to 150g to 300g was virtually unnoticed by me, and that is because I am a food addict, and I cannot allow myself to fall off like that.

    I am preparing my coffee, and then I am heading out. It is a rainy day today, so after I get home, I will probably do a little studying.

    —

    I did not quite make the 2kg mark, but 1.9kg down is pretty respectable… and with that, I reached a milestone. I have now lost over twenty kilograms since starting out. Yes, that is a drop in the bucket, but it is also progress. Small incremental steps is what I need, despite wanting those giant losses.

    I booked a haircut for today. Leslie likes my hair to be a bit longer (as it is now), but she understands that I usually prefer it to be short and cannot go longer than a certain length. Knowing we have three visits together coming up, I told her that I can either keep my hair longer for this coming visit, and then it will be short for the next two… or I can cut it now and it will be short for next week’s visit, and it will be longer for the next two. She is so wonderful and will love me no matter how long my hair or beard may be. Other than that, I have no other plans. I have not been sleeping well, so I will probably take a nap at some point. Having said that, it is Leslie’s birthday today… and although I cannot be there with her to celebrate this year, I have decided that this will be the last year that happens.

    It is raining like we are expected to build arks today, but according to the forecast, it should taper off by about 2pm. If that is the case, I will enjoy a cigar or two on the balcony this afternoon. We’ll see. In the meantime, it may be early for my haircut, but I am pretty sure I forgot my phone in the car, so I will likely leave early.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 134

    This should be easy math: Yesterday I did not (really) cheat, and therefore my weight this morning was down. While it is certainly the case today, it frustrates me that it does not always work this way. Yes, my measurement on the bathroom scale was a good one (not quite my lowest weigh-in, but close). I am not unhappy with my progress. I simply wish that every day that I do not cheat, my weight would be down. Such is not the case. Oh well.

    On April 9 I was thrilled to drop below 350 lbs. It is nearly two months on, and I have not dropped below 344 lbs. I am sick of that, and hope that last week’s revelation about peanuts will allow that to change… and no, this past weekend’s terrible cheating did not help one bit, but if I can stay the course for the next few days then hopefully I will drop below 340 lbs. I know that in two weeks I am flying to Dallas, and after that will be my birthday, and after that a quick jaunt to Long Island to celebrate a friend’s wedding. I know that I will likely be back to the 340s for most of those… I just want to get below them to prove to myself that doing things the right way will show results.

    It might seem strange to many that I speak in pounds, and yet my official weigh-ins are in kilograms. Of course, if you are following along on my blog then you will not see that… I do not post my weights there. Yes, I grew up in a household where we were taught pounds and ounces; the 2.5 years I spent in California did not hurt that. Fortunately, my physician’s office is Canadian, and they work in the metric system. While I cannot convert pounds to kilos as seamlessly as I can do miles to kilometres, I do understand both systems. I should eschew the antiquated and senseless imperial system in favour of the completely logical metric. Old habits do die hard though, so I still do both.

    Leslie finally received the right birthday gift yesterday, and I decided to pull the trigger and buy myself the same Ninja dual-zone air fryer that I bought for her. Before I did, I made sure that I was able to return the essentially no-name one that I had bought previously. I still had a few days left to return it, so all is good. I am glad that I saved the box for it… I will pack it up and drop it off at UPS on my way to the golf course later this morning. Amazon asks you to select the reason you are returning something. This, dear reader, is an IQ test. If you answer, “I do not want it anymore,” or something similar, the return shipping cost was $65. If you go back and change your answer to, “It did not perform the way I had hoped,” then the return shipping is free. What can you do, right? The new machine will cost a lot more than the old one… but I really did not like the old one.

    As I alluded to briefly in the last paragraph, I am golfing again today. I must be a sucker for punishment, right? Hopefully today’s round will be slightly better than my last one, which was abysmal. If I had any brains on the subject, I would sign up for golf lessons… or at least spend some time on the driving range before heading out on the course again. At least the weather forecast for the day is not nearly as extreme as it was Monday, with a predicted high temperature of 21°c. I will not be as hot as I was… although heat had never bothered me.

    I was paid for two separate and unrelated payments for work done yesterday, which was a bit of a relief. It is not that I am running out of money, it is simply that I do not like having to chase the companies that I contract to. There are still a couple of outstanding payments owed, but the oldest of those is less than 60 days old, and so I am not entirely concerned. That is also owed to me by a company that a) loves me and wants me to continue to work for them; and b) paid another invoice yesterday. Again, not worried. It is just nice to see money going into my bank account… especially knowing that my actual day job has been stagnant for the past two months. I exchanged emails with them about that yesterday, and there is progress on the horizon… I just wish it was quicker!

    Two weeks from today I am flying down to Dallas to see my baby, and I could not be more excited. Monday afternoon I took delivery of my new threads that I ordered in March. Unfortunately, they all still fit perfectly. Yes, that sounds weird… but I do wish that by now I would have lost enough weight that they would already be loose. No such luck. I am hoping that by the time we get married in November, I will fit into my older suits and shirts. Here’s hoping and praying!

    Have a great day folks… I’ve got a couple of errands to run before hitting the golf course, but that’s what I have planned for the day. Whatever you have going on, try to enjoy it!

  • Day 130

    I was terrible yesterday, and the numbers on the scale reflected it. Normally, when I go to Ryan’s house for cigars, I can withstand the temptations. For some reason, yesterday was an exception. I had nuts; I stayed for dinner (hamburger patties, not terrible); I had cookies for dessert (terrible). I even had one (yes, only one) gummy worm… which in contrast to the cookies, which do have some nutritional benefit, has absolutely none. As I walked into the apartment last night, I felt the shame and disappointment that I failed… but would do better tomorrow. I will.

    There are reasons I will not go into why I was down. I was not depressed nor disappointed by news that I received Friday, but I would lie if I said I was not distracted by it. It was the distractions that caused me to veer.

    As a former soldier and hopefully a good friend to some, I know the importance of keeping confidences. There are things that people have shared with me that I will not share with others. Just as I do not like having my confidences betrayed, I try to not betray that of others. Where this complicates issues is that there are times when someone shares something with me that I could really benefit from the advice and input of others… but I am not really allowed to seek it. On the other hand, there are people who I would trust with my life, so if I discuss someone’s confidence with Leslie, for example, I know that the secret is safe… but it does not make me feel less guilty for sharing.

    Speaking of Leslie, she went to the beauty salon yesterday, and OH MY G-D does she look gorgeous! Combine her hair do with the makeup she did when she got home… yes, she is MINE, and I will never forget how lucky I am to be able to say that. She shared with me an interesting quotation yesterday. It was something like this: “When you get the woman that everyone wants, never forget that she is still the woman that everyone wants.” I have to remember to treat her like a queen every day… to treat her like I know how wonderful she is… because I do.

    My plans for today include trying to do better on my diet, but they might also involve going to see a movie. My fiancée does not like Tom Cruise, so I am free to see the new Top Gun movie on my own… I might just catch the early showing. After that? I will likely sit on the balcony with a cigar or three.

    Oh, and how happy am I? I have my first golf game of the year booked for Thursday! A cigar buddy and I have an 11:40am tee time, and I am thrilled. So that I do not go out there and look stupid, I might just go to a driving range either today or tomorrow… and who knows? Once my golf clubs are in the trunk, I might just book another round or two

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 127

    My Bulk Barn experiment failed, but only marginally… and only because my ability to convert grams to ounces is weak. I should also mention that while the experiment did not go as planned, I did nonetheless learn a great deal from it which will help with my weight loss going forward.

    I went in and measured out a much smaller portion than I usually do. I weighed it, and it came to precisely 100g. That looked to be about a reasonable portion, right? For the fun of it, I then measured out a portion the size that I usually would have taken and weighed it. That weighed nearly 350g. Alright, the first bag it is (of course). Little did I realize that the 100g of peanuts contains 643 calories, and the portion that I had thought was a reasonable serving size was actually 3.5oz. For the fun of it, yes… I now realized that the serving I was buying previously was actually over 2,000 calories… more than I want to be consuming in a day, let alone in a sitting. It is time to seriously rethink my snacking… which is to say I am done with peanuts for a while.

    To put things into perspective… if I was going to knowingly add 2,000 calories to my daily food intake, here are some of the things I could have gone in for:

    • Sixteen Double-Dusted Chicken Wings at Montana’s… if we add the Starter Caesar salad, that takes us to 1,890 calories. If we add ranch dressing to the wings, that should tip the scale.
    • A whole medium hand-tossed pizza with extra cheese from Domino’s would be 1,840 calories… but I could add a salad to that to get over 2,000 calories.
    • A 16-ounce rib steak is only 1,480 calories, so if I were to add a medium baked potato for nearly 200 calories, I would still have room left over for dessert.
    • At P.F. Chang’s (not my favourite, but easy to get honest nutritional information for) I could have a cup of Hot & Sour soup, two vegetable spring rolls, an order of Sesame Chicken, a side order of fried rice, and four fortune cookies for 1,990 calories.

    Are you getting my point? This is likely a major reason why my weight loss has been more or less stagnant over the last couple of months. The peanuts are out.

    What I will be doing though is ordering more meal replacement bars for when I get to Leslie’s place in Dallas. I have been nursing the last two boxes that I have but decided over the last couple of nights to have one instead of the regular meal replacement shake… they have fewer calories, so when I am eating later in the evening it just makes sense. They still satisfy my cravings and sate my hunger, while doing so with significantly fewer calories. I see no reason why I cannot start replacing the peanuts in the middle of the day with the meal replacement bars.

    It is this sort of thinking that I will have to use going forward. I do not mean just now, rather for the rest of my life. If I want to lose weight and keep it off, I need to start thinking like this always. As I have said every time I have started this program, while it is important to stick to the program to lose the weight, what is most important is that I change my relationship with food.

    Sometimes it takes an outside voice to show you that you are going astray. That voice can be berating or demeaning, but that just makes you feel lousy. When the voice is encouraging and trying to help, it can make you think about what you have been doing and make you evaluate your choices… and how to go forward. I am so grateful to my loving fiancée for pointing out that I was eating a lot of peanuts.

    This morning the bathroom scale had me up from yesterday, but only by a little. Having lost over two pounds yesterday morning, it is not surprising that I gave back a little less than half a pound, despite a tremendous bowel movement. Yes, that is gross… but it is something that people trying to lose weight have to be cognizant of.

    Today I am planning another relaxing day. My allergies are kicking my butt this morning, so I took my pills and sprayed my spray, and they are much less debilitating than they were an hour ago. I am hoping that by noon I will not feel them at all. I suspect it helped not at all that HRF Princess Sophie decided to go traipsing through a field of dandelions this morning on our walk. At least we got some steps in. I have invited Eduardo to come for a cigar, but he is not sure if he can because he is waiting for a repairman. If he does, great; if he does not, he will come tomorrow. Either way, it will be good to see my friend.

    This evening, I will spend a few hours with my son the younger. He will want to get dinner, and I hope he picks somewhere that I can make reasonable choices, rather than somewhere that I cannot eat, and just sit watching him enjoy his (whatever he orders). Either way, I love spending time with him… and I will do my best to stick to the program.

    I just realized that dinner with my son will interfere with my diet program support meeting. I will ask my diet buddy if she can reschedule.

    After that, depending on what time he wants to go home, I have been invited to a cigar event at Alec Bradley’s, so if I have time I will show up. If not, then my son is and always will be more important.

    My son the elder said that he will come over tomorrow evening for a dram. I originally invited him to come celebrate finishing his exams, but it seems he has one last exam in a couple of weeks. He suggested he come over to celebrate my engagement. I’ll take it!

    The weather is a cloudy but warm, with a forecast high of 23°C. While it felt like we were going to get rain when we were out, precipitation is not in the forecast for today. Welcome to Canada… we’ll see!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 126

    The biggest inconvenience to having relocated my bathroom scale into the bedroom is that I very often forget to weigh myself. I get out of the shower, shave, and then head into the bedroom. In a perfect world, I would hop onto the scale immediately. In the real (and more perfect) world, I am immediately distracted by a gorgeous doggie who has been waiting patiently for me to finish in the bathroom so that we can go out for our morning walk. Some days I remember, and others I do not.

    Today fell into the latter category, and it was not until we were nearly home from the park that I remembered. We got home and I gave her a treat. I then put on the coffee before heading into the bedroom, disrobing, and stepping onto the scale.

    I do not know what difference an hour might make, or if the walk makes a difference. I do know that I was extremely pleased by the numbers on the scale this morning after the walk. I was down 2.6 lbs, and in line with my numbers the first morning back from Cuba, when I was shocked that I had actually lost weight. From there, over the next few days I would gain 3.4 lbs. I am now down to where I was eight days ago. Good. Now it’s time to get back on track!

    Leslie made a good point yesterday. I want to be clear that she is my most wonderful advocate and has not chastised me during my journey. She encourages me every day. She asked me yesterday why I continue to stop at Bulk Barn for peanuts, if I know that they are my kryptonite. I have given this a lot of thought. Firstly, peanuts are not my kryptonite. They are something that I really enjoy, that in moderation are not the worst indulgence in the world for my diet. My Achilles heel is that I do not seem to have the ability to leave any behind. If I buy ten peanuts, I eat ten peanuts that day. If I buy a thousand peanuts, I eat the thousand peanuts the same day. Buying for a few days is obviously not a good idea for me. Today I am going to go to Bulk Barn, and I am going to measure out my peanuts. I will not spend more than one dollar on nuts (taxes included). I do not know what the cost is per peanut (I know, they charge by weight. Go with it.) but I will verify that, and rather than filling a scoop to put into the bag, I will get a reasonable number. According to my research, one ounce of peanuts contains 160 calories. It also contains seven grams of protein, six grams of carbohydrates, and thirteen grams of fat. That is not a bad snack. I will bet you that when I measure that out at the store today, I will be unpleasantly shocked by how many servings I have been eating when I buy a scoop. I will report back.

    (For the record, I’m not sure what my actual kryptonite is, nor if it is only one single food. With that said, a plate of Buffalo wings would certainly be high up on that list!)

    My friend the cleaning lady is coming this afternoon, which means that the apartment will be in order again. It also means that, weather permitting, I will stay out of her way by sitting on the balcony with a cigar or two. What can I say? I am pretty predictable in a lot of ways.

    Have a great day folks!