Losing a part of me

Category: Plans

  • Day 444

    Despite my second unproductive morning in a row, it was such a sight to see when I stepped onto the bathroom scale to discover that my weight has, once again, dropped below 260 lbs., if only by a tiny fraction. Yesterday, my weight was back down to match my best weight from 2020, so this morning I dropped below that once again, hopefully for the last time. Once I am back home, I will be able to resume my exercise regimen, which even if I were to maintain my current eating (that is, not back on the meal replacements at all), would likely see me losing more weight. For now, I am hoping that when I step onto the scale at the doctor’s office on Wednesday that I weigh slightly less than I did at my previous weigh-in there. This morning I am still one pound heavier than I was that morning on my bathroom scale, so I as long as I am able to stay on track, I should be able to lose more than that between now and then.

    My diet these last couple of days has essentially consisted of chicken and matzah, and whatever I might put on the matzah (which alternates between margarine with jam and charoset with horseradish). I also had a really large iced tea yesterday which was really tasty but has 226 calories and a whopping 60g of sugar. It is a wonderful treat, but I have to remember that it should be only that… an occasional treat. I might think about cutting down to a smaller size in future, but with the extreme heat of the Texas summer ahead, I might stick with the large size which does help with hydration.

    This afternoon we are going to see a movie, which under normal circumstances would be a terrible temptation for me. During Passover I am not allowed to eat popcorn (with or without butter) so there is a good chance that I will not have any snacks and will get through that unscathed. I will have lunch before we go, which will, once again, consist of leftover chicken (which really is so tasty!) that needs to be finished before I leave tomorrow evening. There are some people who, like me, will continue to enjoy the same leftover meal for days on end. Others cannot do that, so I know that whatever I do not eat will probably go into the garbage. Leslie and her son have been eating whatever they will eat – neither of them are Jewish, so the rules of Kashrut do not apply to them – and it has not bothered me one bit. Leslie did mention that they were trying to be respectful around me, but I assured her that I am not in the least bit bothered by whatever they might be eating. As for them not wanting to eat the leftovers… that just means more yummy chicken for me!

    There is also enough charoset left over to choke a horse… I do not know if Leslie will eat any of it once I go home, but I know that I cannot take it with me, so I am enjoying it (in moderation) until I go. I never understood why Jews only make charoset for the Passover Seder… it is so delicious, and there is nothing to stop us from making it all year round? The point is that we don’t, and that’s life. I do know that I would not want to have the sweet kosher wine in the house… it is not something that regular people would choose to drink but is necessary for making the tasty charoset (which is meant to be symbolic of the mortar that the enslaved Israelites made in Egypt).

    The plan for today is to stay on track… I will be mindful, and even though we might be eating dinner out, Leslie and I have already discussed a restaurant option where I can eat without violating my religious dietary requirements. It will be a different chicken meal, which does not bother me at all… I can eat chicken every day of the week and not get bored with it. I will not snack at the movies, and I will stay mindful should we take the boy somewhere there might be temptations. One thing I am going to have to start remembering is that when I exercise, I can take greater liberties with my eating than on days when I do not. My last ‘exercise’ was when I walked home from the lounge a week ago today, and while the walk was a respectable 6.25km, I did it in sandals which means I was not exerting myself like I would when powerwalking. I also did my foot with the blisters, which kept me from running the next few days. Yes, my foot has been healed for a couple of days, but my work schedule prevented me from getting out.

    I should mention that yesterday I recorded my session on Securing the Internet of Things, which I spent a lot of time working on this past week. I think it went really well and am looking forward to seeing the final post-production product, which is being released in a couple of weeks. This week I have to prepare another session, which will be recorded Friday. It is on another cybersecurity topic which I will have to spend some time looking at and putting together. I know what I am going to say, but I need to organize my thoughts into slides, and then write up a script for it. It is funny that I spend so much more time preparing for a 40-minute session than I ever do for an 8-hour class… the difference between being watched and being recorded!

    I am not excited to be returning to Canada tomorrow, but life must go on until we get our paperwork settled. It will come, we just have to be patient. For now, at least I have one more night with my lovely wife.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 437

    I’m on my way! Very excited to be sure.

    Two things happened yesterday. 1) I dropped below my best weight ever. 2) I dropped off the program… at least temporarily.

    I wrote about Number 1 in yesterday’s article, and that’s all good.

    So why did I drop off the program? Do I lack the willpower? I do not. Did I succumb to temptation? I did not. The simple answer is that I listened to my body. Nearly all week I have been suffering from bowl issues. Monday and Tuesday it would have been easy to write off to the foods that I ate over the weekend. By the time Friday afternoon rolls around and I am still having troubles, with the added consequence of the hemorrhoids (which are almost certainly related to the diarrhoea), and I have to accept that my body is trying to tell me something. Since Sunday I have jogged fifty kilometres, an average of over 8km per day. With the exception of Sunday, I have ingested little more than 900 calories per day. I am not a doctor, but I would not be surprised if my body were just saying that I have been overdoing it. After speaking with Leslie, I decided to make some food. I went a bit overboard… I had veggie burgers, then a bag of mini crisps. I am sure that tomorrow morning my weight will pop above this morning’s record-breaker, but I would rather be healthy.

    This morning I arrived at the airport and decided that while I would not be going nuts today, I would also not be restricting myself the way I have for so long. I sat down at the same restaurant where I had breakfast last time and ordered something different. After reading the description I realized that the breakfast poutine was not nearly as bad as it sounded, so I decided to give it a go. It was essentially scrambled eggs and cheese over hashbrowns, and it was quite tasty. I will likely have a salad for lunch today, but not because it is the only thing that I can eat without falling off a cliff. I will stay mindful, but I am going to give myself a fair bit more leeway over the next week than I have previously.

    I gained weight this morning according to the bathroom scale. I am two pounds up from yesterday, and no longer in best weight ever territory… but I am also trying to get my body back to health. As I stood waiting for my flight this morning, I remembered that it is so easy when one is not feeling well to think the worst, or to think that the pain or discomfort will be the new normal. I do not think that so, and I know that in a few days I will be getting back to normal with my issues. That does not mean I will be getting back to my full-fast program; that is something I will be giving a lot more thought to.

    I have been telling myself these last few weeks that I am nearing the end of my full-fast phase of weight loss, and at a certain point it will be time to ween myself off it. I have not made any decisions yet, but following my trip, assuming I am feeling better, I am going to speak with my doctor and am probably going to resume my partial program – three shakes and one meal per day, or two plus two. I think my intake might depend on my exercise. I think, however, that if these last couple of days is actually my body telling me to slow down, then before I resume anything serious, I want my doctor to give me an examination (including blood work) to make sure I am not doing any damage. I do not think that I am, but I have said from the very beginning that I want to do this the right way.

    I am presently 30,000 feet over South Bend, Indiana… I do not usually post from airplanes, but it is not unheard of. The rest of the day, following my arrival, will have fun, sun, and cigars. No word on my plans just yet because where I am going I will have to rely on others.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 436–Best Weight Ever!

    I honestly did not think that it would happen today. I expected to step onto the bathroom scale to see that I had lost .2 or .4, or even stayed the same as yesterday. Of course, I have been on the watch for it for the last few days. When I looked down at the numbers transmitted from the device to my smartphone and saw that I was not at, but actually just under my best weight from 2005… I do not know how to describe the emotions that went through my head, my heart, my whole body. I do not know when it was that my weight first crept above that number, but as it is only about 40-45 lbs. more than I likely weighed when I finished my Army service, and knowing how terribly I ate for those first three years (not to mention the last six months of my service) and it is easy to assume that it was well before Y2K. I know that in 2004-5 it dropped from 295 to 255, only to start climbing again when my first wife left me. I am, as of this morning, the lowest weight I have ever weighed in this millennium. I am trying to remain calm and composed as I am jumping out of my skin.

    Until just five days ago I was talking about the comparative chart from my weight loss journey in 2020. While I first beat that number on Wednesday of last week, I decided to keep charting it… especially after this weekend, when I faltered, and my weight jumped, popping above that number for one day. On the race from 285.2 lbs. (I weighed the same the day after I returned from my previous trip to Dallas on February 3 as I did on July 21, 2020) to the best weight of 2020 (September 27, 2020), it took me 48 days to reach and 53 days to stay below that milestone. On each of those days I was 9 and 6.4 lbs. below the corresponding day’s weight from 2020. In 2020 I know I only stayed at that weight for one single day, and then started a gradual (and eventually not-so-gradual) climb back up. New Years Day 2021 I weighed 305.4. Over the next few months, I was still putting in some effort… I see that there was a week in January of that year when my weight was fluctuating between 2-3-285 lbs. In mid-February of 2021 my weight jumped above the 300 lbs. mark for the last time, staying there for twenty-three months. Since January 12 (when it dropped to 299 lbs.) I have lost 44.2 lbs., and I plan to keep going.

    My efforts on the treadmill yesterday were not spectacular, but I was still out there doing it. I jogged the first bit, then walked another 2km before calling it a day.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • Distance: 4.09km (8.4km)
    • Duration: 34:22 (1:02:42)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 8m24s (7m27s)
    • Steps: 5,200 (9,475)
    • Calories burned: 450 (1,117)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 151 (151)

    I mentioned over the last couple of days that I was having issues with my bowels. It was at the gym yesterday that I started to feel some discomfort, which would eventually get worse and even interfere with my sleep. No, it was not intestinal, rather an issue that I have experienced a couple of times before, usually after a few days of intestinal issues. Hemorrhoids are itchy and painful, and I am glad that I had cream at home that would start to treat it. Such are the joys of weight loss and aging, folks.

    My afternoon went pretty much as planned yesterday, except that I needed to take care of a number of logistical items for the wedding. Upon returning from the gym, I had my second meal replacement before taking Her Floofness to see Eduardo and his wife. We had a cigar on the balcony and chatted, which was nice. After that, Princess Sophie and I dropped in to see another friend at his work before coming home. While enjoying my third meal replacement of the day, I took care of yet more wedding planning things before heading out to Taekwondo. While the first half of the class was great, the second was interrupted by a call I had scheduled… also wedding-related, and with someone whose time I need to respect. She told me that this was when she was available, so at 7:59pm I stepped out of class and called her. I returned to class in time for the end. Taekwondo is important… our wedding is more important. I came home and enjoyed my final meal replacement of the day while speaking with Leslie, and taking care of yet more wedding logistics issues.

    I know that I will not get a lot of sleep tonight. I teach until 9:30pm, and my alarm is set to wake me up at 2:15am. Hopefully I will get some sleep on the airplane, but even if I do not, I will be fine. Tomorrow morning, I will restart my modified program, so after I am checked in at the airport, I will have breakfast and coffee. I bought my snacks for the plane – almonds and mini crisp chips – and I will not be tempted to cheat with anything else. Tomorrow should be a good day overall.

    Knowing that I won’t be sleeping much does not change my plans for the day. I have been dealing with things all morning, so it is almost noon. I have one more call to make for the wedding, after which I will head to the gym for my last run in Canada for the next week or so, after which I will return home and prepare for my class. While the forecast is for the temperatures to rise to 7° by the late afternoon, the rain is predicted to continue non-stop until I get onto the airplane tomorrow morning, so running outside is not an option. When I get home from the gym, I will also be packing my suitcase, which is extremely exciting for me! I will teach until the end of class, and then I will have my final meal replacement and speak with Leslie before going to bed as early as I can. Hopefully throughout the day my bum will feel a bit better, and the swelling will be much less (or even gone completely) by tomorrow.

    I will stay mindful and on-track today and will not veer from my path. Just because I hit such a monumental milestone this morning does not give me leave to splurge… especially knowing that tomorrow is a travel day. I did not say that I want to hit my best weight ever before Saturday, I said that I want to get onto the airplane on Saturday at my best weight ever. Staying on track is the way to do that. I will, of course, light the Shabbat candles with my wife during my evening break, but I am not going to buy challah. I might pour a k’zayt of wine, but that’s it. Because it will be so early I do not know what I will weigh tomorrow morning, but if I am back above 255 it will not be because I veered from the path today. I am going to run, and I am going to get it all done. This is a major milestone, but it is not the end of the journey.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 433

    A good buddy of mine has lost a great deal of weight in the past year, and posted a picture of himself online showing how his old belt no longer fits. I am so happy for him, and many of us commented positive feedback. He replied to me privately that he knows that I do not like to share my progress publicly, but that he and his wife are also extremely proud of me. It is ironic that people feel that I am not public about my weight loss… I post an article about my progress and successes (and struggles and failures) every single day). I just do not want to share it to my public Facebook feed, where I am going to be bombarded by questions about how I did it… and suggestions on what I should be doing. The questions about how do not bother me, but geez folks, do you really think that telling a man who has lost the equivalent of a whole person’s weight what he should be doing to lose weight? Those comments just piss me off, are the reason I do not post my progress.

    My day went well. Firstly, the car ended up taking half an hour and cost me $40. My transmission is fine, but there was a garbage bag melted onto the bottom of my car, which accounted for the burning smell. While we still have no idea what caused the gearshift issue Sunday, we suspect it was likely a freak anomaly of some sort. When I take my car back in to have the tyres changed mid-April, I will have them flush the transmission fuel, but in the meantime, he suggested I keep driving as I would without worrying. All of this was a tremendous relief… I suspected the issue might end up cost me thousands of dollars!

    From there, I went to the gym… following a text conversation with an old Army buddy. It is always great to catch up with old friends. Hopefully we will have more time to talk soon. While I would have liked to do more, as I was walking into the gym, I got a call asking me for a meeting at 4:00pm. Okay, then I kept it short, taking the opportunity to calibrate my new fitness watch. As it happened, I could have spent another 90 minutes on the treadmill because the 4:00pm appointment was pushed to 5:30pm… and even with that, he was 20 minutes late, which meant that I had seven minutes to talk to the guy before I had to go teach my class. All in all, that is probably not the way to impress them… but then again, they have now four times proven to me that they have no respect for my time, so I don’t know that I’m that disappointed.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • Distance: 7.4km (11km)
    • Duration: 53:41 (1:27:32)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m16s (7m57s)
    • Steps: 8,165 (13,750)
    • Calories burned: 1,000 (1,400)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 152 (155)

    My class went well, and then I got a text that was so tempting that I could not resist doing something completely spontaneous. More details on that next week! Yes, I know… that absolutely negates the point of spontaneity… live with your disappointment for the sake of discretion. I have to make some changes to a few things, but next week there will be some excitement!

    Okay, so I have decided to set a new timed short-term goal. I would like to reach my Best Weight Ever by Saturday morning. I am four pounds from achieving it, and I have four days to do it. I am going to jog every day, in addition to returning to Taekwondo (Tuesday and Thursday evenings, starting tonight). I am going to stick strictly to my full-fast program, and I am going to do it!

    Next week is the start of Passover, and I have already bought my matzoh (which will be very well-traveled by the time I crack the box open). I will be celebrating the holiday of course and observing it to the best of my ability. It is one of my favourite holidays… and not just for the food! The LORD brought the Israelites out of Egypt with a strong hand and an outstretched arm, and he did bring plagues onto those who did enslave them. It sounds to me like a good story for a good Israeli soldier. With that said, I am going to prepare a traditional charoset for some of my people to try. I have never made it before, but as I have gotten a bit more comfortable in the kitchen (and with all of the people who would previously have prepared some of my favourite Jewish dishes gone from this mortal coil) I figure I should give it a try… if for no other reason than to prove to myself that I can do it! Oh, and there is the minor coincidence that it is (and always has been) one of my most beloved treats that you only get for two days out of the year!

    Once I finish this journal entry, I have a few tasks to do, and then I will go to the gym. In the afternoon I have a doctor’s appointment, followed by my haircut. The company I interviewed with today asked me my availability for the rest of the week so that might change… but knowing how they have scheduled and rescheduled and delayed the last two interviews I strongly suspect that my plans for the day will not be interrupted. We shall see though, right? One never knows. In the evening, my diet buddy is coming by around 5:30pm, and we will share our first meal replacement together ever. It will be too late for coffee (unless I don’t want to get any sleep), so a chocolate shake will be the order of the day. I was told today in no uncertain terms that I had better get my rest in preparation for the spontaneity. Late-night coffee is not in the cards this week! Of course, after that I will go to my first Taekwondo class since the summer… it will be interesting to see how my body reacts to jogging in the morning and then doing martial arts in the evening… and at a lower weight than I have been in over twenty years!

    Leslie mentioned today that she missed our Saturday morning cigars and latté dates. Where there’s a will, there’s a way… we are going to coordinate so that we each pick up our lattés from our local Starbucks and we can make it work… even if it is in the Rectangle Zone. I am literally counting down the days until we can be together again, and the number is always too high. I really miss her and hate that we have to be apart. Hopefully, the next time we are together I will be at my lowest weight ever… I really love that every time she sees me, I am so much lighter than the previous time. I want to keep succeeding for her… and of course for myself.

    My morning got away from me. I had a lot of small issues to take care of, but a couple of them took much longer than expected. I am almost ready to go, but I do not know that I will be able to go to the gym… at least, not for as long as I would have liked. I have packed everything that I need for the gym (as well as my Taekwondo kit) to take to the car, and I will head out. I should remember to take my meal replacement to eat after the workout (and before my appointment). As long as I keep my eye on the clock, I should be okay, but I should head out now.

    What are my plans for the day? Stay focused, stay mindful, stay on track. There is no way that I will get onto the plane Saturday morning at my best weight ever if I veer even a little bit.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 432

    Yesterday was one of those days where very little went as planned, and almost everything worked out great. I had lunch with my son the younger at Lone Star Texas Grill, where I did eat four tortilla chips but only four. When the waiter told us he would be right back with the chips and salsa I told him not to bring them, unless he could bring celery sticks in place of the chips. He did not. The four chips that I took were off my son’s plate of chips and queso. He tried to ask the waiter to refill the queso at one point, not understanding that he was asking for another order. I explained to him that what he had eaten, combined with the chicken wings that he would be bringing home with him, was enough. He demurred. I ate my fajita bowl with grilled chicken, but I forgot to ask him to leave out the cheese. This was bad because I cannot mix cheese with chicken, but good because they were not mixed. I simply cut the food around the cheese and left that – along with most of the rice. All in all, I don’t think I ate too badly.

    When I was dropping him off, I asked him to bring the present in for his brother. As I sat in the car answering a text, he ran back up to the car and told me I was invited in. His brother was thrilled with the bottle that I had selected for him and invited me to sit down for a wee taste of it… and insisted his mother (read: my ex-wife) join us. Theresa and I get along just fine, but I have known her for seventeen years and I have never seen her enjoy even the smallest drop of whisky or whiskey, but our son insisted and poured for her the smallest portion, just to taste it. The look on her face was exactly what I would have expected, and while it was mildly entertaining to watch, I felt bad for her having to drink something that she really does not like. The rest of the conversation (which lasted more than two hours) was extremely pleasant (Theresa did not stay for most of it) and my son and I caught up. It was absolutely delightful… and extremely interesting in ways that I will not share in public. I am so happy for him though!

    Had I devoured an entire plate of tortilla chips, or even a full dram of whiskey (I did have half an ounce, and he was right insofar as it is absolutely the best Irish whiskey I’ve had), I might have come home and felt so guilty that I would have immediately suited up and gone for a jog. I did not feel guilty about what I ate yesterday (although I do feel bad about the previous day), but it was such a gorgeous day that I felt I needed to hit the road. Julie had canceled our meeting, and my buddy Eduardo was going to come over after 6:00pm for a cigar, so I suited up and did just that. I had no expectations, I just wanted to get a workout in.

    Jogging

    • pb Distance: 11km (13.45 km) **
    • pb Duration: 1:27:32 (1:18:45)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m57s (6m00s)
    • pb Steps: 13,750 (11,350)
    • Calories burned: 1,400 (1,626)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (155)

    ** While I know I have recorded a higher distance on the treadmill, due to calibration issues I have little faith in the accuracy of that activity. This distance was measured by GPS and I believe it to be accurate.

    I killed it. I jogged a full 11km with fewer stops than I have done do far, and one of those stops was because I needed to take a chat. I would have gone farther if it was not for Eduardo, but I know that he would be arriving around 6:00pm, and I did not want him to wait too long for me. Had he not been coming over I would have tried to finish the 15km that would earn me the badge for the month of March. While I still have a few days to try to achieve that, I am not sure that I will… I was surprised that I was able to do 11km without falling down! I did, in the meantime, crack the top 22% for the yearlong challenge on the other app that I mentioned. While it is somewhat disconcerting to see that I am in something like 28,000th place, knowing that there are 132,500 participants in the challenge (and that more than 100,000 of those are behind me) does feel good. Also, I know that the point of the challenge is not to win, but to complete it. The prizes will be raffled off to those who complete the challenge, and not awarded to the winners.

    I am still very upset that I lost my Black Belt. There are still two places where it might be, but I am resigned to the fact that I will almost certainly be buying a new one this week. While the money does not bother me as much (it will cost about $50 to replace), there is an emotional attachment to such an item. Unlike my previous belts which were tied on to me by my GrandMaster, this one I purchased myself (I was promoted officially after I had moved to California), but I am still attached to it. There are still two places where it might be – one is at the Taekwondo school where I will be training, so I will be able to drop in today to ask, and the other is in Dallas (which is much less likely) – but I am not holding out hope. I will check… but when I get to the dojang today and they tell me it is not there, I will bite the bullet and order a new one. It is sad, but it is necessary. In the meantime, I have a second belt with the appropriate rank. When I had my belt made, they accidentally confused inches with centimetres, so I have an embroidered belt that is five sizes too small. I will not be able to wear it properly, but at least I will be able to wear it.

    Yesterday was a day filled with huge positives. I already mentioned that I spent some great quality time with each of my sons in turn, which was great. I also had a nice and positive conversation with my ex-wife about the progress of my son the younger and our struggles with getting him the appropriate help for him and his issues. Seeing a number of my friends who are divorced parents who have horrible relationships with their ex-partners, I am always so grateful that Theresa and I have always been able to maintain a civil relationship. We will never be friends, but there is no animosity. I thank G-d for that. I digress. My son the elder commented that he noticed that I have lost a lot of weight and that I am looking great. I showed him the most recent before/after picture that I took a couple of weeks ago, and he was so amazed that he called his mother downstairs to come look at it. Later in the evening I realized that while I had a milestone a few months back for dropping below the weight I was when Leslie first saw me, I am also now at the lowest weight that Theresa has ever seen me. When I lose five more pounds, I will weigh less than I did when any of my three wives knew me. That blows my mind… not only the weight, but the fact that I have been married three times. I never thought I would be one of those statistics. Hopefully with all of the work I have done to improve myself – both mentally and emotionally but also physically – Leslie and I will be able to live happily ever after together.

    The next great feeling was when my neighbour – Charlie’s mom – commented yesterday that I have lost a lot of weight. It always makes me smile! She asked how much, and I told her. She was floored, and asked how I did it. I told her that it was a lot of hard work… and the realization that the pace at which Princess Sophie walks is not exercise. It did not hurt that I said this as I was coming in from my jog

    I just had a conversation with my mechanic. The car has to go in to check the transmission. The first step will be to check the transmission fluid. If it is not that, this is going to be a very expensive week. I am truly hoping it is the fluid. MY appointment is an hour from now, so I should know more by lunchtime. I will bring my eBook reader with me to the appointment in case it is going to take a while… and a cigar. Yes, it is a bit chilly out, but if this exercise might cost me anywhere from $100 to $3000, I think a cigar to keep me relaxed would not be the worst idea!

    After three days of gaining weight (2.8 lbs.) I was happy to drop 1.2 lbs. this morning on the bathroom scale, despite my cheat eating. I have to assume that the jogging really helps. I was still above 260, but only very minimally. I am now 1.6 lbs. heavier than my best weight yet, and 5.2 lbs. from my best post-Army weight ever. Knowing that, my plan for the day is to stay on track and to stay mindful. After my trip to the mechanic, assuming that my car is drivable, I will go to the gym for a good run, to be followed by a good hydro massage and a shvitz. I am teaching this evening, so I have to be back here by 5:00pm, which is not a problem. I am truly hoping that my car is still drivable, because if it is not then I will not be going to the gym, instead taking an Uber to come back home. I suppose I could take the Uber to the gym… I will consider that when the time comes. I should also plan to take my meal replacement with me to the mechanic. My appointment is at 11:30, and I am due for the meal replacement between 1:00p and 1:30pm. In the best-case scenario, I will be drinking it as I drive to the gym.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 431

    I slipped last night. The salad I had in the evening was likely of little consequence. When I got home (after 11pm) I had that last bag of pop chips (actually called Crispy Minis I realized) in addition to my meal replacement shake. Combine food that I should not be eating at hours when I should not be eating anything, and the result is what I got on the bathroom scale this morning. I hope the nearly two-pound jump from yesterday, in addition to surging above that previous monumental achievement of dropping below 260 pounds, and you have a big, loud wakeup call that will serve as a reminder of the consequences of not being mindful for just a few moments.

    I had trouble falling asleep, but once I had, my precious puppy let me know at about 3:15am that she really needed to go outside. She is not a fan of inclement weather, and while I had taken her outside several times during the day (and when I got back from Toronto), she had only sniffed briefly at the grass, peed a little, and then insisted we go back inside. When we went out before bed to blustering winds and freezing rain, she did a little bit of business, but then made an about-face and guided me right back into the building. I was pretty sure we were done for the night, but that was not to be. As a result, my sleep definitely could have been better.

    There are two measurements that my new fitness watch tracks which my old one did not. In truth, there are several… but these are the two I have been watching and am focusing on now. The first is sleep, which I suppose my old one probably tracked too, but with its much shorter battery life I never wore it to bed. Whether the other one did or not, the new one provides a sleep score, which for last night is telling me that: ‘You slept long enough, but you spent too much time awake. You may not feel well-rested today.’ I could have told it the second part, although I am impressed that it thinks I slept long enough. I think he mistook my lying in bed resting (and checking my phone) with actual sleep.

    The second measurement that it is providing me is called body battery, which provides a number for estimating my changing energy levels throughout the day. Right now, it is at 84, the highest number it has been since Tuesday before my jog. I also know that it likely takes a few days wearing the new device to get an accurate picture of that, so when Monday (the first day that I wore it and that I exercised) it registered a 100 (and then only dropped to 37 after 8km on the treadmill) I will assume that it was just trying to calibrate. Following Friday’s nearly 80 minutes on the treadmill my battery dropped to 11, and by the end of my relaxing Saturday it had not risen above 75. I will keep an eye on it as a matter of interest and curiosity, but I am pretty good at knowing when I should and should not work out.

    Speaking of which, today will likely not be a jogging day, for a slightly amusing reason. I do not always clip my toenails as well as I should, and I believe that the nail of my pinky toe on my left foot has cut into my next toe with all of my recent running. I will clip them on both feel today, and if I feel the need to jog later in the day (a definite possibility, especially with the weather forecast) then I will bandage my second toe before heading out. I am not sure I have ever put a Band-Aid on any but my big toe before, but there can always be a first time, right? The critical importance of having healthy feet is a lesson that was drilled into us in the Army, and I will not disappoint those who drilled that into me by letting a toe get infected for no reason other than stubbornness. In the meantime, if after my lunch with my son (the younger) I can clip them and then go for a run before Julie comes over then I will gladly take the opportunity; the forecast is for a sunny day with a high of 9°, making it a brilliant day to hit the road. Tomorrow’s forecast promises chilly temperatures with a mix of rain and snow all day… if I am going to jog outside this week, it looks like today, Tuesday, and possibly Thursday are the days to do it. The rest of the days will be gym days only.

    Yes, my diet buddy is coming over this afternoon around 4:00. I joked with her that instead of out usual coffee we might go out for beers and to ‘score some chicks’ which was my feeble attempt at Sunday morning humour. Her wife is in Yukon and mine is in Dallas so we joke like that a lot… and look forward to the day when we can actually go to a bar to see which women check both of us out. Neither of us would ever follow through with anything, but it will be nice to be looked at. We have both been overweight for so long that we are used to being ignored. We both have wives who love us and who have always been attracted to us, but it is nice to know that other people can look at us that way too. As it stands, we will sit at my place and have coffee; after these last few days I feel that I do need the touch point to get back on track, so it will be good to see her for that reason as well as just seeing my friend.

    I am taking my son the younger for lunch today, and I hope he picks one of the places with fewer temptations. No, he just confirmed that he wants Lone Start Texas Grill. My response to his mother was ‘Fucking Lone Star.’ There is nothing wrong with the restaurant of course… and I can have my usual salad there (and not finish it or take it home with me). It is just those damned tortilla chips and salsa that kill me every time. I MUST RESIST. Maybe I will ask Tex or Dakota or whatever stupid alias the server uses that is supposed to sound Texan to bring me celery sticks to dip into the salsa instead. I will find a way to resist, even if I have to eat the damned salsa with a fork. When I get home this afternoon, I will be proud of myself for not giving in to the temptation. I swear to G-d I will figure out a way. The salsa is high in sodium but if I ate three ounces of it with celery, I would be at 18 calories with 3g of carbohydrates. I can live with that.

    I am back from lunch, where I did mostly okay. I ordered the grilled chicken fajita bowl, eschewing the cheese (of course) and the rice (mostly). I did eat four of Gilad’s tortilla chips. Four chips is immeasurably better than all the chips! When I was dropping him off, his mother told me I should come in to bring his brother his birthday gift. My son the elder was quite impressed by my selection and invited me in to sample it. I had the smallest portion of whiskey possible, and it was absolutely delicious. I could easily have poured another three or four measures for myself; instead, when he brought out pecan halves, I took six – a reasonable portion by any measure. We spent several hours talking, with some amazing revelations which I will not share here.

    It is a beautiful afternoon – it is still sunny, and the forecast high temperature is two degrees behind us. I am going to clip my nails and go for a jog. Julie had to cancel, so we will have a phone call instead. That’s life. The day is mostly done, and my biggest temptations and hurdles are in the rearview mirror. I was not strictly on my program today… but in the balance I will chalk it up as a success. Tomorrow morning when I write of this afternoon’s jog I hope to do so with a spring in my step, as I plan my trip to the gym to attack the treadmill with gusto.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 430

    I went to the gym as expected yesterday. I beat my distance record, although I know that my calibration is off, so I honestly do not know how far I jogged. I will try to try to calibrate it properly tomorrow… or whenever I am next on the treadmill. I am now putting a double asterisk next to my treadmill distances because I honestly do not know. When I jogged in the street the other day, at least I know that was an honest 10km. I did calibrate one kilometre of my jog to the treadmill (thinking that would fix everything – it did not) and I saw that my pace on the treadmill is no different from what I jog outside. That is a good thing.

    Jogging (Treadmill)

    • pb Distance: 13.45 km (7.25 km)
    • Duration: 1:18:45 (57:03)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 6m00s (7m53s)**
    • Steps: 11,350 (8,850)
    • pb Calories burned: 1,626 (754)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (155)

    Following the gym, I decided to take a giant plunge. I stopped at the Taekwondo school owned and operated by an old instructor of mine – the one where I took a few classes back in the summer – and had a great chat with him. I told him that I am ready to start training, and he welcomed me back. We discussed the issues that had made me uncomfortable in the summer, and he felt terrible about them. I told him not to worry, and he told me I can start coming in for the adult classes which are Tuesday and Thursday evenings… which works out perfectly, as I am teaching Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings!

    I was surprised, after I came home, that I was hungry. I then looked at the clock and realized that it was 3:15pm, and I had only had one meal replacement so far. I prepared and drank my second shake, and then sat out on the balcony with a cigar. Okay, that is not entirely accurate. First, I went to get changed for my evening class… which gave me the opportunity to try on my Taekwondo kit. It fits perfectly… it might be a little big, but probably not big enough to need to order a new one. I will ask the Master if I can try on the smaller size, but I suspect that for the next few months I will stick with what I have. Anyhow, I did squeeze my three shakes in throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, spacing them out appropriately.

    My weight was up again this morning despite my being true to the program yesterday… and the excellent workout. I know that my cheat day on Thursday (and by cheat I am referring more to the pop chips and the late eating than to the steak and salad I had mid-afternoon) was going to have consequences, and I am not going to be upset by this. I know that as I continue to do the right thing, the weight will continue to come off. I am not going to let that stop me from living. Yes, it would have been nice to see a significant drop in my weight this morning, but it did not come, and I will see it tomorrow or Monday. We move on. I am in a place where I am not going to beat myself up over a series of conscious decisions that led to two days of slight gains… and even with them did not bring me back above the 260 lbs. mark (although it was close).

    I know I kicked butt this week on my exercising, and I think I am going to take the weekend off… or at least, I am going to take today off. Tomorrow I am taking my son the younger for lunch, and I will follow my plan, but if I cannot then I will come home and lace up the running shoes. I think I can resist the temptations to be bad though; if he does want to go to Lone Star then I will have my salad but will not touch the chips. Frankly, whichever of his regular haunts he wants to go to I will follow that same plan. Eat… but not overeat and eat smart. I expect that had I been able to follow that throughout my 20s-40s then I would not be where I am today. That’s life, we learn, we move on. My diet buddy is coming over for coffee tomorrow afternoon and we will catch up after our trips. I hope she has made the same kind of progress that I have.

    My plans for today… if I am not going to the gym (and it is rainy and cold outside) then I don’t know… I will reach out to some of the boys and see if they want to connect for a cigar. Maybe I will crack my Taekwondo book (which I did dig out) and spend a couple of hours reviewing the patterns that I will need to re-learn. I am also going to spend a little bit of time trying to track down my belt, which seems to have gone missing. I will see if I accidentally put it into my storage locker, or if it is just in my gym bag and I did not see it. It might also be in my car… but wherever it might be, I have to track it down. Aside from the expense of replacing it, there is also an emotional connection to it. I might also spend an hour or two doing some studying for my next exam. We will see. Looking out the window, it is one of those days where you want to just crawl back into bed and stay there… but I want to try to be productive in at least some way. Maybe I will go to the gym… after all, my schedule for tomorrow will not comfortably allow it, so I have a built-in day off right there. Hey! Maybe I’ll go to the gym and use one of the private rooms to work on my patterns. Hmm, there’s an idea! Maybe I’ll do that. I should download the videos for the first ten patterns to my iPad and head over there.

    All in all, I have to stay mindful and remember that I am so much closer to my ultimate goal than I have been in… well… ever, really. I am five pounds from my best adult weight ever, and I see no reason to stop doing what I have been doing. I might start introducing small meals every couple of weeks, but I don’t think that is going to hurt me terribly.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 429

    After serious thinking and discussion with the woman I love I decided this afternoon that I was going to defrost and prepare a steak. I told Leslie that I wanted to do a really good jog first, but I have been tempted too much these last few days, and I was going to eat smart. I tried to do a 10km jog, but that proved too much. I jogged 7.25km and walked the remaining 3km to get home, which did give me the 10km that I was hoping to achieve. Before I even showered, I jumped into the car to go to the supermarket to pick up some vegetables to make a salad. I came home, showered, got dressed, and prepared my meal. It was delicious! My housekeeper had unearthed a bag of pop chips, and I devoured those as well. That was a terrible decision, but much better to do it with pop chips than with potato chips. Knowing that I had the remaining vegetables in the fridge, I weighed the options of having another cheat day today, or just making another salad in the evening. I opted for the second choice, which I prepared with the last package of smoked salmon that Leslie had given me for my birthday. It was delicious! I hope now that the temptations of fast-food restaurants and deep-fried chicken wings will be behind me. In other words: sorry, not sorry.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 7.25 km (6.02 km)
    • Duration: 57:03 (33:05)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m53s (5m29s)
    • Steps: 8,850 (5,065)
    • Calories burned: 754 (720)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (153)

    I am back on track today, but I am starting to realign my thinking. With the tremendous progress that I have made, especially in these last two months of being on the full-fast program (excepting for my trips to Dallas), it might be time for me to start looking at an endgame… a time to start weening myself off the full-fast program, and in fact working toward being off any programs. I have said recently that my intention is to get through two more months on the full-fast (excepting, of course, another trip to Dallas), and then to begin transitioning off the program. That transition might take many forms, and it would not be a quick process, but it is something to start thinking about. I am also thinking, after yesterday’s multi-meal indulgence, that over my last couple of months – that is, between now and when I start transitioning – it might not be so horrible to have a healthy planned cheat meal every two weeks, or every week, or whatever that might end up looking like. I will give it some thought over the next few days.

    I stepped onto the bathroom scale with the full expectation that I would have gained two pounds, taking me back over the 260 lbs. mark. In fact, I gained only .6 lb. which was a much more reasonable result from the decisions I made yesterday. In truth, had I stopped with the steak and salad, I likely would have lost an ounce or two this morning; also, I know the evils of eating late at night, and preparing my fish and salad at 9:30pm was counterintuitive. I am back on track today, and I will recover what little ground I lost in my journey over the next couple of days.

    Today is Friday, March 24th. I am planning to go to the gym today, seeing as the weather will be cloudy and cool. In fact, looking at the ten-day forecast, there will not be too many days that promise enjoyable outdoor running conditions, so I will likely be spending quite a bit of time on the treadmill. As long as I go today, I will be continuing my streak – I have jogged every day since Monday, for a total of 31km jogging. Today will be Day 5 of that streak, and I am planning for at least 10km today. There is a Garmin Connect badge that I would collect if I can do one fifteen-kilometre jog during the month of March, and I might try for that… but I also will not push myself too hard. I have to listen to my body and let pain be my guide.

    I find it hilarious that my gluteus maximus muscles are aching these last couple of weeks; Until a few months ago, my posterior would hurt most often from sitting on it for long stretches of time. Knowing that it is aching because of the tremendous amount of jogging I have been doing makes me want to make them ache more! That is not to say that I have not thought about finding a decent massage place that might be able to make those muscles (and the rest of them) ache less, but that is not my number one priority right now. I am a strange bird in a lot of respects. I consider the aches that I am feeling my body’s penance for neglecting it for so long. While there are days when I take a couple of aspirin (I think I did that one day this week), that has been the extent of my need to deal with any discomfort. Well… that and readjusting how I am sitting a few times!

    There is a song that I remember learning from a buddy who was a sergeant on a base that I served on for a couple of months. Funny, I do not remember his name, but I remember him walking up to where I was standing post and singing ‘Today is Friday… and tomorrow is the Sabbath, the Sabbath for us to rest.’ The thing was that he was singing it to me on a Tuesday, and I kept yelling (in jest) ‘LIAR!’ Well, today really is Friday, and while I do have to teach this evening, tomorrow really is the Sabbath. I will remember the Sabbath as holy as I always do… observing the Fourth Commandment (as it is written in Exodus 20:8. I am afraid that I do not observe the Sabbath Day as holy as the Commandment decrees in Deuteronomy 5:12) by lighting the candles this evening and reciting the blessings and praying for the health of my family and friends. The list of my friends for whom I pray continues to grow, which is sad. I do not mean prayers for general well-being, of course. I mean the list of my friends who are sick. A number of them have cancer and are undergoing treatment for that. Two were in terrible automobile accidents and continue to recover. So many others are going through so many different health-related issues that I sometimes feel guilty that I am, for the most part, in perfect health. I am still obese, but I am not morbidly so as I was. My gout has not bothered me in months (thanks to a pill that I remember to take every morning). My ADHD is under control (thanks to the other pill that I remember to take every morning). When I pray for Sophie and Marty and Sean and so many other friends who are hopefully going to get better I also thank Hashem that I am not in their place. I am truly blessed to be in good health, and I hope going forward to never take that for granted… as I did for so many years by ignoring the importance of a healthy body weight.

    My plans for today are to stay mindful, to stay on track, and to stay focused. A ten (or more) kilometre jog on the treadmill will be nice, but it will not be an excuse to have a second consecutive cheat day. I do have some work to do on my teaching workstation today – I noticed a lot of slowdowns on it recently and decided that refreshing the operating system was just what the doctor ordered. Of course, that also means that I have to reinstall a lot of my applications, and that I have to log on to my class a few minutes earlier than I normally would, just to make sure that all of the tools I need to teach have been reinstalled. While I am on the treadmill I might try to calibrate my fitness watch because I am pretty sure that while it does great when running on the street (it has a great GPS in it), it is not properly calibrated for my pace on the treadmill. I will set a lower pace on the machine, and then try to get it properly calibrated so that my future measurements – as I get more into shape and more into running – will be more accurate. While I do plan to finish my pot of coffee today (and hopefully I will remember to buy more fake milk), I have no plans to consume anything else beyond my meal replacements. If needed, I will also pop a throat lozenge during class. I do not know if the bathroom scale will reflect it tomorrow morning or the next, but my weight loss progress will resume, and I know that what I have been doing is working. I will keep that up!

    I have reached out to my diet buddy who will likely be coming over tomorrow or Sunday for a cup of coffee. Once she confirms which day works better for her I will reach out to my son the younger and I will take him out for lunch the other day of the weekend. I will not be eating with him though… and if he insists on going back to Lone Star Texas Grill then I am going to use it as an opportunity to prove that my resolve is stronger than my desires, and that I do not have to succumb to every temptation. I hope he picks somewhere else though… but I have not seen him in a month, and ultimately it will be his choice. Feigning a stomach virus so that I do not have to order food is not a bad idea, but not eating those chips is more important. I am going to start thinking about that now and will go into whatever restaurant he chooses with the resolve to stay on track.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 427

    After an extremely productive bowel movement, I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning and was shocked. I cannot remember the last time I saw a one-day weight drop of more than four pounds, but there it was. In a single day, completely unexpectedly, I not only dropped below the 260-pounds mark… but I blew right past my best weight from 2020 (by over 1.5 lbs.), beating the pace I had set on my comparative chart by a full three weeks. You see, on February 3 I looked at what I weighed, and realizing that I was 24.8 lbs. from my best weight of 2020, I decided to create a chart of my daily weigh-ins from that attempt. It took be sixty-nine days to lose those 24.8 lbs. back then, with a lot of hiccoughs along the way. In 2023 it took me forty-eight days. I am now solidly in best-weight-yet territory, and I am less than four pounds from achieving my best adult weight that I have any reliable record of. I am blown away, and more motivated than ever to keep going!

    According to the app that is connected to my bathroom scale, my Body Mass Index (BMI) this morning is 33.2, a tremendous one-day drop. It was a scant nineteen days ago that it dropped (for the final time) below 35. Mornings like this, when I see a huge and unexpected drop on the bathroom scale, make me look at things more finely than I usually do. Frankly, of late I know that I have spent a lot of time obsessing over my numbers and charts. I know that I have to start tempering this obsession with my weight loss, but on days like today that can be tough. After seeing the doctor, I will drive into Toronto to pick up my meal replacements, then I will come right back home, finish this entry (and publish it on my blog), and I will go about the rest of my day. For now, as I sit here at 7:45am, I am happy to take a few moments to kvell.

    There is a challenge on one of the apps I use to track my progress called You Vs. The Year 2023. The goal is to walk or run 1,023 kilometres in the calendar year. There are some pretty sweet prizes that those who complete the challenge can win (there will be a raffle). I only discovered the challenge a couple of days ago, but all of my walking and running from the beginning of the year are counted. Checking out the leaderboard I have actually run/walked nearly 200km… although that number is likely slightly higher, since only two workouts per day can be counted. I know there was a day a few weeks ago when I ran then walked then ran then walked, and that was four workouts… two of those would be discarded. So be it. I also see that of the 130,301 people currently enrolled in the challenge, I am ranked 32,700… nowhere near the top, but in the top twenty-five percent. I am quite happy with that!

    I picked Kerry up from the train station (as is the custom), so it was not until we got to my building that I stood up and she saw me. ‘How are you so thin? What happened to you? Did you leave part of yourself in Dallas?’ It felt amazing to hear her notice my weight loss. When we got upstairs, I showed her the most recent before/after photos and she was astonished. To put things in perspective, I am now fifteen pounds from having lost her body weight. That is a real trip!

    My outdoor jog yesterday was tougher than I thought it would be, but with a few short breaks to breathe I was able to complete a 10km outdoor run for the first time. There is an obvious difference between the mapping software I used to calculate the route in advance and the actual route, because what I had mapped at just short of 11km prior to setting out would have been short of 10km, and I only reached that number because there was a very long freight train that impeded my forward progress, so I circled back twice (nearly a full kilometre in total) waiting for it to pass. Most likely, the difference can be chalked up to running on the close sidewalk, rather than driving in the far lane of traffic. No matter, I did my first outdoor 10km run, and I feel great for it!

    Jogging

    • Distance: 10.1 km (8 km)
    • Duration: 1:22:34 (45:43)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 8m11s (5m42s)
    • pb Steps: 12,795 (6,390)
    • Calories burned: 1,243 (636)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (153)

    I am feeling like I can do anything… knowing that I am down so significantly since I left for Dallas just thirteen days ago (and remembering all of the cheating eating I did in that time) I have to wonder how long it might take me to get down to my ideal weight, whatever that might be. I cannot imagine that it will take me the rest of this calendar year but am going to remain cautiously optimistic. If my rate of loss were to drop to 2.8 lbs. per week then on my birthday, I would weigh less than 220 lbs. … a 115-lbs. drop from my last birthday. Before the middle of August, I would drop below 200 lbs., which I have not weighed since I was a teenager. I only have to stay focused and on track… but at a certain point, I am going to have to start listening to my body for signs that it is enough. As I have said, I do not know what I should weigh as a healthy fifty-year-old male. According to the BMI Calculator, I will not be ‘healthy’ until I drop to 194 pounds, which means I am less than sixty-five pounds away. I am 26 pounds from dropping from Obese Class I to Overweight, which will be a great accomplishment, but I still feel I am a couple of months away from hitting that goal… not quite a short-term goal yet.

    I am off to my doctor’s appointment and will find out what I weigh on his scale this morning. Last night I told Leslie how wonderful it would be to drop another 2kg from my last weigh-in. As it stands, if my bathroom scale is any indicator, that loss might be closer to an unheard of 5kg. The now very real possibility that in just over 90 minutes I will know if I have not only dropped below 120 kg, but also surpassed the 60kg lost mark simply blows my mind! If I do not make that, then I will still be down, and will have another milestone to look forward to two weeks from now.

    Shock and disbelief are words that continue to describe my reactions this morning. It is currently 11:45am. Just four hours ago I wrote that I was hoping my official weigh-in would have me down better than 2kg, although my bathroom scale was measuring me down nearly 5kg. The reality was much closer to that latter number than the former. I was floored to see I have dropped 4.7kg in two weeks. I have officially lost 60.8kg (134 lbs.) since my journey began. How can that be?

    Driving into Toronto I spoke with my wife about everything I discussed with the doctor, including my response to his question ‘what is your final goal.’ As I have written herein several times, I told him that I do not know. I did decide, however, that on June 1 I will be transitioned back onto regular food. I discussed this with Leslie, and she told me that she supports me as long as I no longer see myself as a fat man. I responded that might take a lot longer and we discussed the psychological effects of long-term obesity.

    I mentioned June 1 as my end date for a few reasons, but I do not think I had discussed it with anyone (nor written it down) before. The only reason it came to mind today was because the nurse at the clinic where I buy my meal replacements informed me that on that date the price of the products will be going up. While that is the reason I thought of it today, the price increase is not the reason I made that decision. I should mention that I will very likely buy another case of the meal replacements right before the price increase; Doing the math, and taking into consideration my next trip to Dallas, I would finish my current allotment plus one more case of the meal replacements on June 4. If I purchase one more case, that will allow me four more weeks of the full-fast program… but I am planning to use the final case to transition off of the full-fast at a measured and reasonable pace. While I have a couple of months ahead of me to think about it, my transition off of the program is something I will have to give consideration to. I will start discussing that plan with my doctor at our next appointment.

    It is a cloudy day outside, and while the temperatures are forecast to reach 7° by 6:00pm, I still think I am going to opt for a trip to the gym today. The treadmill is not as liberating as is jogging outside, but it does force me to push myself harder; I do not know why my pace on the treadmill is so much quicker than it is outside, but it is. Of course, the gym also allows me the added bonus of the post-workout sauna, which feeling my muscles today will be welcome relief. I am teaching this evening, which means I will be spending a great deal of time sitting down; a quick Google search confirms that some of the muscles I should be feeling with my increased jogging are also the ones I find myself sitting on!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 424

    When I press ‘publish’ on this journal entry, I will immediately receive a notification from WordPress that I am on a 198-day streak on my weight loss blog. How crazy is it that I have written 400,000 words about weight loss over the last fourteen months?

    Yesterday was not the relaxed and fun day I had hoped it would be but Leslie and I did what we needed to do, followed by a delicious Mediterranean meal that was not even close to adjacent to my program. I told her that I knew I was going to go back to Canada weighing less than when I arrived in Dallas, no matter what… this is one of her favourite restaurants, and I wanted to take her out to enjoy it. It does not hurt that I am a huge lover of Mediterranean food. While the meal was delicious, something that we ate upset both of our stomachs. At first I thought it was simply that I had overeaten – I should never go back to another all-you-can-eat buffet – but it turns out that we both had cramps all night. We will be more careful next time.

    We finished the evening as we so often do – we had a lovely cigar on the balcony, which would have been much more enjoyable if we were both not feeling under the weather. It was also sad that before we did that, I packed my luggage. It sucks knowing that we had to wake up this morning and drive to the airport. I hate leaving her, and I know she hates it too. Fortunately I have my next trip down here booked already, and we know exactly how long it will be. While counting down those larger numbers may be sad, there was a time when we did not know when the next trip would be, and that was much harder on both of us.

    There was no doubt that the numbers on the bathroom scale were going to be significantly higher today than they were yesterday. In the end I am still down 1.2 lbs. from the morning I flew down here, and that is a huge success. Yes, I might have done better had we not indulged last night, but I did not go into the meal blind. I made the decision in advance that I did not mind giving back some of my progress for a night of Lebanese food. The only thing I would do differently next time is I will order off the menu rather than the buffet… not only would it control my portions, but it would also ensure that the food was fresh. As I mentioned, something that we both ate did not agree with us.

    It is a cold and dreary morning in Dallas, a perfect metaphor for how I feel having to leave. I will be mindful at the airport and on the airplane, and hopefully when I get onto the bathroom scale tomorrow morning I will have lost some if not most of the weight that I put on this morning. If the weather is agreeable then I might even go for a jog this afternoon… we’ll see what the weather is like by the time I get home.

    I might write more from the airport, but for now I’ll wish you all well. Have a great day folks!