Losing a part of me

Category: Progress

  • Day 552

    It happened again. I realized yesterday after I posted my article online that I had flubbed my days. It was only a couple of days since it happened, and it only took me three minutes to go back and fix it all. We are back on track, and today is really day 552.

    I must be spoiled. I was disappointed this morning that I only lost .2 lb. from yesterday. I have to keep reminding myself that the medical community agrees that a healthy rate of weight loss should only be 2-3 lbs. per week, and not the tremendous losses I like to see when I am following my program… or even my modified program. I also have to remember that I once wrote that one pound lost is three pounds of progress.

    I prepared a lovely dinner of breaded salmon last night, and Leslie took care of the side dishes (steamed vegetables with a cheesy sauce and basmati rice). It was delicious and quite satisfying. It was still stifling hot outside, so we waited an hour or so before we took up our positions on the balcony with our cigars. I love that ritual, and love that even though we cannot live together yet, we can be together for these brief visits and enjoy them. When we are in our respective countries we still enjoy the ritual, but over video conference… it is much more enjoyable when I can reach out and touch her than when I have to look at her through the rectangle of my phone.

    I decided to refrain from walking this morning for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I overdid it yesterday. That is not to say that I am in pain or discomfort, but one should always be aware of one’s own body. I am not a young man anymore, and while I want to push myself like the soldier I once was, I know that I cannot do that. I have been doing great this year, don’t get me wrong. I am in better shape now than I have been in a few years, and I am satisfied that I am doing what I can to change myself for the better. The second reason I took this morning off is because I told Leslie that I would make shakshuka for breakfast! It is my first kick at this particular can, and I am looking forward to eating the results. It is ready, and I am just waiting for Leslie’s meeting to finish before we eat. If it came out well, then I do not see why I cannot make it for us (or for myself when I am in Canada) from time to time… there is nothing unhealthy or fattening about it. If it did not come out well, then I will not give up… I will just find a different recipe. I always enjoyed it, and when the rabbi’s wife made it for our wedding reception Leslie really loved it. It will definitely be the most complicated food in my repertoire, but that does not mean it is terribly complex… only that most of my recipes are pretty simple.

    It is a lovely day, and the forecast is for another hot and sunny one. I am sitting on the balcony with my coffee writing my article, and right now it is gorgeous – 85° Fahrenheit with a bit of a breeze. The forecast high is 104°, which for us Canadians translates to holy crap it’s hot degrees out! Seriously, it is 40° Celsius, which is the absolute (pre-humidex) temperature. When I read yesterday’s temperature of 105° Fahrenheit, it said ‘Feels like 110°’. Unless you are boiling water that is hot no matter how you slice it. I will try to remember these hot days in the dead of winter when I am bundled up in sixteen layers to take Her Floofness for her walks.

    Leslie’s son is coming home today for the week, which is wonderful… except it means that our food will be somewhat dependent on the likes and pickiness of an eight-year-old boy. I have to maintain my mindfulness and not indulge in bad (but enjoyable) foods, or at least be careful with portion sizes. I am sure there will be a fast-food meal or at least something like that. I’ll try to keep at the front of my mind that I have worked too hard and come too far to let myself go; I have also done too much of that these last few months, and now that I am starting to get back on track, it would be a travesty to fall off so quickly.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 539

    I stepped off the bathroom scale this morning pleased with another drop in weight. In my coffee- and sleep-deprived state I was trying to calculate my weight loss from yesterday to figure out how it compared to the last few days to total a very respectable 8.6 pound loss over a three day period. It took a couple of moments for me to realize that it was not a three-day streak… I have lost that over two days. I am utterly amazed that after just two days since I resolved to get back on track, I am making such tremendous strides. Of course I know that the tremendous weight drop in the first 2-3 days will reflect the loss of water weight, and I cannot expect to continue at this pace. Still, I am thrilled that I have been able to stick to it for two days.

    In truth, I stuck to my program better than I intended yesterday. My plan was to drive into Toronto, see an old colleague, and then be home by 4:30pm. I would prepare a cross of lunch and dinner, and then either at my evening break or else after class I would have had another meal replacement shake. Driving into town I was worried that I might falter at lunch, so I had a meal replacement shake in the car. As a result of that I only had the one bite of pie that was forced upon me. Stuck in traffic for over three hours on my way home, I prepared another shake. I do not remember why I had two packaged shakes in the car, but I am glad that I did. Arriving home far too late to prepare a meal (I was even late for work) I debated between making a late dinner after class (which would have meant eating after 9:00pm), or just having another meal replacement shake during my break. I opted for that choice, and the results on the bathroom scale this morning were clear. I have had a spring in my step ever since!

    I am teaching again this evening, but before I do I have a friend coming over after lunch. I usually go to see him, but it is nice to host him from time to time. We will enjoy a cigar on the balcony and shoot the shit about this and that. Because of this visit I will be eating lunch relatively early today. I will have to make sure that I do not slip and eat anything other than a meal replacement shake (or possibly two) later in the day and evening. How nice would it be to not weigh more when I arrive in Dallas than I did when Leslie left Canada three weeks earlier‽

    For those who are wondering, I did indeed use a strange bit of punctuation at the end of that last paragraph. While I knew about the interrobang previously, I was reminded of it while listening to a podcast about marketing the other day. It ( ‽ ) is the amalgamation of the question mark and the exclamation mark ( ?! ) and is meant to mean just that… a question with an exclamation. I doubt I will be using it frequently, but I decided to throw it in for gits and shiggles. For more information about this cute little punctuation mark please refer to the Wikipedia article, which while not as authoritative as Merriam Webster or Cambridge Dictionaries (which both have entries, while the Oxford English Dictionary does not), it is nevertheless more complete.

    Have a great day folks, won’t you‽

  • Day 525

    I suppose I did marginally better yesterday than I did the previous day. I was about to write that it is all I can hope for, but I have written too often that hope is not a strategy to believe that. It is my actions and my resolve that will get me back to my best weight, and I am far too far from there to think it will happen quickly. Yesterday was slightly better. Today will be slightly better than yesterday. I will keep trying to improve so that I can reverse this recent trend and get back on track. I will not be Algernon.

  • Day 509

    I was expecting another decent drop in weight this morning and was pleasantly surprised to see that I am down nearly one pound from yesterday. I cannot expect to drop all of the weight that I gained in a week, but I am making good progress. I ate pretty smartly yesterday, enjoying some of the leftover shawarma (with a salad) for lunch, and then a nice piece of fish for dinner (also with a salad). I determined that it was too windy to sit outside for my cigar class, so I participated without smoking from my desk. By the time the class and then our dinner was over the wind had died down somewhat, so Leslie and I sat on the balcony enjoying a nice cigar. We had some things we needed to talk about, and then we both griped a bit about our work. Leslie and I were brought together by our work, and I really like that even though I am no longer on her team we still can help each other because we understand so much of the same technology… as well as processes. I have memories of relationships past in which my partner could hardly explain what I did, other than ‘he works with computers.’ The fact that we can dig deep in the weeds on technical issues is just one more thing that make Leslie and I perfect together.

    After coming in from walking Her Floofness I said my morning prayers and then made coffee and an omelette. While there are very delicious and tempting rolls to go with it, I stayed true. I also put three pieces of chicken into a marinade, which I will prepare for our lunch. For dinner we bought a package of chicken gyoza from Costco which we are really looking forward to! I know the gyoza are naughty, but if that is my only naughtiness for the day then I might still achieve another drop in weight tomorrow morning.

    These next three days are far too long! I am teaching from 9:30am until 9:00pm Tuesday through Thursday, which makes for a very tight schedule. I feel terrible to schedule it that way while Leslie is in town, but she understands that we both need to work, and as a contract trainer it can be detrimental to my career to turn down certain contracts. Fortunately we know that Friday at the end of the day we are hopping into the car to drive down to Niagara for a romantic weekend together. While Leslie has some meetings next week, it will still be easier for us to spend time together. One day in the not-to-distant future we will be living together full-time, and these long and stressful weeks will not be as hard because our time together will not be so limited.

    I guess I should mention that last week I realized that I could back-date posts to my blog. I know I have missed two days in the last year and a half, but both of those were because I had started and was then distracted or pulled away. In any event, this morning when I click Publish on this article, I will receive a notification that I am on a 510-day streak. It is not nearly as important as my weight loss progress, but it is still nice to have.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 503

    Was yesterday a complete success? It was not. Was it a failure? No. In the balance, while I cheated (I had a couple of bowls of cereal in the afternoon) I still stayed mostly on track, eating nothing after 5:15pm. The result: I was down one pound on the bathroom scale this morning. I will take that as a victory. It has to be a one-day-at-a-time strategy, and I have to be willing to accept that there is a lot of ground between the absolutes of success and failure.

    As I expected, my friend’s computer problem was not really a problem. He came over around 2:15pm, and we were smoking cigars on the balcony by 2:30pm. I am glad I was able to help him… even though I did not actually do anything this time. I did, however, upgrade his computer so that it will be easier for me to keep an eye on the health of his computer going forward. With that said, I did all of that while sitting on the balcony and smoking cigars.

    This afternoon I have a lot going on between my classes. I have a meeting with an old business colleague at Tim Hortons, and then I have an introductory call with a head-hunter who thinks he might have a job for me. I am always happy to take those calls… even though they seldom lead to anything, and I am quite comfortable teaching until my visa status changes. After class this evening I have a very important date. Today is my wife’s birthday. It is her first birthday since we are married (the anniversary of our civil ceremony is June 24th). I am hoping that it will be her last birthday that she has to celebrate alone. By next year I am praying that my visa will be approved, and that we will be living together so that we can celebrate together. While she is coming to Canada this weekend, her visit does not touch either of our birthdays, missing hers by four days and mine by eleven. Last year she was in Canada to celebrate my fiftieth with me. It just could not work out for either of us to travel for either of our birthdays this year. Next year… well, we are maintaining our posture of cautiously optimistic.

    I know what you might be thinking. I have an appointment at Tim Hortons… am I going to be tempted to cheat? The simple answer is that while I do like a nice doughnut or Timbit, I do not consider them temptations. It will be easy for me to order a cup of coffee and avoid the baked goods. It would be easy even if I was not planning to eat lunch before going, but I am… so it will not be a problem. The bigger temptation is usually walking through the supermarket. I went yesterday to buy vegetables, but I only realized when I got home that I am nearly out of milk. Drat, I have to go back today.

    When I wrote yesterday that I might be able to jog tomorrow afternoon I forgot that I have my cleaning lady coming, which means that will not be an option. Friday and Saturday are still on the table, and I will make sure to get at least one workout in before the big day when I drive to the airport on Sunday!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 500

    Five Hundred Days. I cannot believe that this journey has taken me thus far. I am disappointed that I have not done better; I am overjoyed that I have done as well as I have. Yes, I would like to have gotten to where I want to be – completely slim – but I am not unhappy with what I look like and feel like now. I will continue to try to improve, albeit less drastically.

    I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning and had not gained, nor had I lost any ground. After the last few days of weight gain (and nearly six days without a bowel movement) I am hoping that the combination of a good movement last night and kerbing my eating a little will reverse that trend. I should also mention that this morning I have had two extremely productive movements – one before and one after I weighed myself. They were not exactly easy, but they were not as difficult or as painful as the last few attempts were. I am relieved that my insides seem to have turned a corner. Literally relived.

    My main goal for today is to organize and clean my office area. I am going to try to bring a large measure of ergonomics and Zen to my workspace so that I can make my life more efficient. That will involve a lot of work that I have been putting off for a few weeks (I have had the words Clean My Desks on a Post-It note almost since I returned from Dallas) but I think today is the day. I also know that my cleaning lady is coming on Thursday, so getting it done prior to that means that she will not need to work around my clutter.

    In precisely one week I will be getting ready to drive to the airport to pick Leslie up, and I could not be more excited. I hate that we are not together always, but I also know that the wheels of government bureaucracy turn slowly, and that eventually we will be able to live together forever. Until then, these periods apart are just the commercial breaks between our wonderful times together.

    Of course, after my work in the office (really a ten-foot square corner of my living room) I will likely relax on the balcony with a book (or two) and a cigar (or three). It is a lovely day, and while a lot of friends would love to see me, I think my original plans to rest and recuperate this weekend are the right way to go. Starting tomorrow I have five long days ahead of me, and I will not have the opportunity to have a completely restful day until Saturday… and Sunday Leslie is coming!

    I have a lot of work to get done if I plan to organize and modernize my workspace, so I am going to start on that. I have looked at this corner many times these last couple of weeks and been daunted every time. I simply have to go at it and not let myself get overwhelmed. The more progress I make, the less daunting it will be. I hope to not do a half-job, because if I say to myself, ‘Look how much I’ve done! That’s enough for today, I’ll finish up later…’ then I know that it will be the end of it. I do not want that to happen.

    Something I have to start doing as I get through this is throwing things out. There are a lot of things around that might one day be useful… or not. If there is a slight possibility that I might need a ten dollar item in the future, but there is a reality now that it is contributing to my sometimes overwhelming clutter, then it will go into the garbage. If it has significant value, then I will list it for sale. However none of it is staying mixed with my production workspace or storage – it will go near the door so that when someone wants to buy it, I’ll sell it… or if nobody wants to buy it then I can donate or throw it out. It is time to eliminate clutter.

    Oh right… and I plan to eat well today. No overdoing it! I cannot believe how long it took me to put together that the rice I have been eating with my protein has contributed to my constipation! Today I will eat chicken with salad… and that’s it. I will also be done eating by 4:00pm.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 495

    After returning home from the doctor’s office yesterday I had a relaxing day. I made an omelette (with onion and shredded cheese) for breakfast, chicken for lunch (with a side salad and sweet potato fries), and that was all I ate. I was certain that the potatoes would do me in – especially when I stepped onto the scale before bed and saw how much I weighed then – but in fact this morning my weight was down. I told Leslie that I had a late lunch, so I was going to try the strategy that others have told me about – I do not consider what I did to be intermittent fasting, but it is along the same lines. I will try to continue that this week… although I will not be having the sweet potato fries every day!

    It was nice to have a day to relax and not really do anything yesterday. It was originally my intention to be productive most of the day, and in fact I did achieve a few of the items on my to-do list (I spent a few hours in the afternoon trying to fight with the Cisco switch that my buddy gave me, but I will have to return to that at some point when I have more time). I also made a point of printing out the course syllabus and recommended timings for the class that I am teaching this morning, which I found to be quite helpful with the class I taught for the same organization a few weeks ago.

    This four-day week will not be quite as busy as last week was, but it will still be long days. I am teaching from 8:30am until 2:00pm, and then again from 5:30pm until 9:00pm. The three-hour break will give me plenty of time to take Her Floofness for a walk (and today we will be joined by Charlie), make and eat a nice lunch, and relax for a little bit. I will also likely have to spend a lot of that time answering emails and doing paperwork, but that does not bother me. I know that after the long day I can look forward to a lovely evening video date with my wife, which I will be able to take on the balcony with a cigar. While we will continue to chat in the evenings, tonight’s will be our last cigar date for a week, as her son will be with her, and she does not smoke when he is around.

    My goal for the day is to accomplish exactly what I did yesterday: Eat in moderation and stop eating by about 3:00pm. It was originally my intention to prepare an omelette for breakfast, but then thought better of it because the timing might have been tight. I opted for a meal replacement shake instead, and there is no danger of cheating with that. If all goes well it would be nice to see another slight drop on the bathroom scale tomorrow morning. I am three pounds heavier than my best weight ever (from Saturday), but I am not at all upset about it. I am making the transition from meal replacements to eating mostly solid foods, and I had a few slip-ups on the first couple of days of that attempted transition. I think I have found my footing and will be able to proceed without stumbling for the next few weeks. That does not mean that I will lose weight at the same pace that I was able to when on the full-fast, but as I am not drastically overweight, I no longer need the drastic weight loss progress. This is a turtle race… slow and steady, and never stop. I will maintain my focus and my mindfulness, and I will not give in to temptation.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 491

    Every day that I get through without veering from the program feels like another huge success… even on days when I do not see progress on the bathroom scale. There have not been too many of those fortunately, and I am thrilled with my progress. This morning I did not smash through any milestones, but my weight was down again… if only by .2 lb.. I know that down is better than up, and I am happy to be making progress… however frustrated I am by the occasional snail’s pace of it.

    Yesterday I wrote about two milestones that are fast approaching. They are coming at me so fast that I forgot that in February I set out a list of short-term goals, which I defined as goals achievable within 45-days. As of this morning (almost 95 days after I wrote those) I have two goals on that list that I have not achieved, which are:

    · Drop below 250 lbs., that major milestone that I have no recollection of honestly weighing, the half-century.

    · Drop to 230 lbs., at which point I will be classified as overweight, but no longer Obese.

    Knowing of the setbacks I had in the weeks leading up to and then following the wedding I am glad that I did not take longer to get back to positive territory, and that this is where I am at. With that said, maybe I should think of some new short-term goals that will take me into the summer. I am not rushing into that, but it will be something I give some thought to over the next week or so.

    I do not remember the last time I felt so self-conscious with a class, but I am really looking forward to saying goodbye to this group of students. I am sure they are all wonderful people, but no matter what I have done this week I have not been able to get any of them to engage. One of the reasons I always preferred teaching to live audiences in person is because I could always see the class and would know if I needed to adjust my style to keep their focus and interest. When teaching online you might have some students who engage, either in the chat window or by turning on their microphones (and even occasionally their cameras) and others who do not. The class I have been teaching this week has almost zero engagement of any sort, after our Monday morning introductions. I have no idea if they are doing the work or listening, and all I know is that when I ask if anyone is still working on labs, they occasionally say that they are. I have no way of gauging if they are enjoying the class, and I am fully expecting less-than-stellar evaluations, which is rare for me. Granted, I have been pleasantly surprised before when I have expected bad evals and discovered that they really did like me, but it is always so hard to tell. The next nine hours or so will be a mad rush to get through a lot of material, and then it will be over. Hopefully the students did appreciate the class though. I will find out tonight.

    Speaking of tonight, this evening I have a friend in from out of town. She and her beau are coming over for cigars and drinks, and weather permitting it should be a lovely time. I have not seen her in a couple of years, and it will be nice to catch up.

    Over the weekend I am going to pay a sick call to my buddy who has not been in good health the last month. He lives a couple of hours away from here, but I know that he needs a friend, and I also know that his wife is probably at her wits end taking care of him while also caring for my godchildren. It’s a long drive, but I have always said that I will go to the ends of the earth for my friends. It will also give me a good excuse to see the kids!

    My plan for today is to do my best to stay on track. I suspect that my friend will try to get me to drink with them, but I will feign… something. I will gladly enjoy cigars and conversation, but I do not want to fall off my program because of alcohol… especially knowing that I am so close to these next two milestones.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 490

    Down again! I got through my day yesterday exactly as planned. In fact, it is possible that I did somewhat better than I planned, insofar as I only had the one cup of milk tea. When I stepped onto the scale this morning I was rewarded with another significant drop of 1.4 lbs., which means that since last Sunday (the worst day of my slide, and the day I decided to get back on track) I have dropped an astonishing 16.8 lbs. in in a scant eleven days. I am extremely happy with that, and while that rate of weight loss will not continue, I will be quite happy to settle into losing 2-4 lbs. per week.

    I am within 5.5 lbs. of two major milestones. 1) I am less than one pound away from dropping below 250 lbs., which is a number I have no post-Army recollection of ever being at; 2) I am less than six pounds away from being able to say that I have lost 150 lbs., a number so staggering as to defy belief. To put that in perspective, I know adults who weigh less than that. I can honestly say that I have lost a person! Looking back at my entry from Day 2 (My Weight Loss Goals) I did not list anything for either of these feats, but that does not mean that they are not to be celebrated. On that list there are a number of things that did not happen – I am not teaching Taekwondo, and while I am jogging I am not really preparing for a marathon – there is only one weight loss goal from that day that I have not yet achieved. I wrote that when I have lost 170 lbs. I would take a picture in my Army uniform. With the changes to my body over the years I might need to lose a little more than that, but we will see. I know at least one person who is looking forward to seeing that!

    For the third day in a row I woke up at 5:45am. Unlike the previous days, I got up to pee, and was then able to get back to sleep for another hour. All in all I think I slept better last night than the previous two, and my fitness watch seems to agree, with a higher sleep score than I’ve seen in several days. While my Body Battery was also higher this morning than it has been in weeks, I see that it has since dropped (from 86 to 68/100) … and it is not yet 10:00am. No matter, I am feeling fine and I am staying the course. What I have been doing seems to be working, and I see no reason to change it for the next couple of weeks. Of course, when Leslie comes I will discuss with her what modifications I will make to my program, but that has been on the calendar for quite some time.

    There is another huge milestone that is now within sight. I am about 17 lbs. from dropping out of the Obesity Class I into the Overweight classification. That will be a huge one for me, and I am extremely excited that I might one day in the next couple of months be overweight. That might sound silly… but I have been classified as obese to morbidly obese for the last twenty-five years, and when that label no longer applies then I will be absolutely over the moon.

    My day is going about as expected. My students are currently working on labs, and I realize that I am hungry. I am not going to eat. My usual routine this week has been to wait until the lunch break (1-2pm) for my second meal replacement of the day, and I do not want to change what has been working for me. I will, however, grab my water bottle and see if I can drink my hunger away.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 488

    It looks like yesterday I was focusing on other things, and so I did not post an article. I wrote it, I completed it… I just never put it on my blog. Oh well. Here’s what I wrote, without a single word change, on Tuesday May 23, 2023. -MDG

    My eyes popped open this morning at 5:45am, which is ten minutes earlier than they would have had I not changed my alarm. Realizing I was not going to get back to sleep, I got out of bed and got my day started early. As I went about my bathroom routine I thought about a 5km walk after bringing Princess Sophie in from her morning outing, and I even dressed for it; had any of my neighbours been out that early they would have likely not thought twice about me wearing track pants. Nevertheless, when we got home I decided to get dressed properly, and then go to the lab early and wait in line. That turned out to be the right decision, because as it turns out, the lab closer to home opens at 7:30am and not 8:00am, as does the one in the same building as my doctor. When I walked into the building there was already a line, and by the time I got near the front of it that line was three times longer than it had been when I showed up. I probably saved an hour with that snap decision and was home from the vampires by 8:30am. I was by then more than ready for my morning coffee and meal replacement, owing to not being allowed to eat or drink before the bloodwork was drawn.

    This morning marked the ninth straight day of weight loss. With a day-over day drop of one pound I have now dropped a full 15.4 lbs. since putting the brakes on my slide. I am happy with that, but I also have to give a lot of thought to how to interpret my progress, my feelings, and my plans going forward. As I mentioned in yesterday’s entry, on Sunday I was feeling extremely weak, and I needed to break from the program. I know that I was jogging on the full-fast program before, but on Saturday and especially Sunday I was extremely weak and fatigued the rest of the day. I doubt that had I jogged yesterday morning if I would have been able to make it through my class. In the next few days I am going to discuss my options with Leslie and see which one we feel will be the smartest going forward. In the meantime, I made it through the day yesterday with four meal replacements and two cups of Japanese milk tea… in addition to my regular coffee consumption.

    Every day that my weight drops takes me to a new best weight ever; Saturday morning I was tied with my previous best, but the last three days have each set a new record low. While I have no recollection of it, as I have written in these pages before I was weighed in 2005 at 255 lbs., at the end of my Weight Watchers success (that was abruptly halted by the end of my first marriage). I have been wracking my brain to try to remember another weigh-in lower than that, and the only one that comes to mind is from a year before my enlistment in the Army. I have no recollection of weighing myself between autumn of 1993 and the winter of 2005, although I am sure I did step onto the scale for Army doctors and other check-ups… there is just no record of it. Because of that I feel I am in uncharted territory and find myself at a loss for what to say. I know there are people who have yearned for the day they would see me at a loss for words.

    My plan for the day is to stay the course. Of course, it does not hurt that I start teaching in 30 minutes, and I go straight through until 9:15pm. Would it be possible for me to cheat if I wanted to? Sure. Would it be simple or convenient? It would not be. I am also hoping that I will not be tempted to, because if I had to I know I could pop open a can of salmon or tuna. I do not think I will have to resort to that today, unless I am really struggling. I am hoping that today will be my second straight day of complete success on the program, and that tomorrow morning will mark my tenth straight day of weight drop… and fourth straight day of setting new best-weight-ever records for myself.

    That last note, incidentally, is something that my wife reminds me constantly to be careful of. The scale giveth, the scale taketh away. There will be days when I do everything right, and the scale will either show no loss, or worse a slight gain. I have to remember that these things are going to happen, and that it is not a sign of failure, nor is it a reason to get discouraged. I know that one day in the next few I will see that happen, and I have to remember that weight loss is not going to be a straight and unbroken line down without the occasional blip… even if I do everything right. The most important thing is for me to stay focused and stay on track. As long as the downs are more than the ups then I am still on the right track.

    My plan for today is to stay focused and mindful, and to not veer from the program. As I wrote, it is possible that I will be changing my program over the next few days, but most likely that would not happen until the weekend. Unless I find that I do not have the ability to concentrate and stay awake, I will stay on the full-fast this week, and on the weekend, when I resume my jogging, I will reevaluate that plan. Yes, I have decided that this week I will not be getting up at the crack of dawn to jog before class. Until I know how it will affect my mind and body throughout the extremely long day, I am going to hold off. Next week, when I am teaching in the morning then again at night, I will be happy to jog after my morning class. That way, if I am really drained, I can still take a nap in the afternoon before my evening class. This week, teaching twelve hours straight through Thursday, I will not have that option.

    As long as I do not fall off track, sometime in the next few days I will hit a monster milestone. I am less than two pounds from hitting 250 lbs., which I have no memory of ever weighing after joining the Army. I need to stay on track so that I can celebrate that one soon.

    Have a great day folks!