Losing a part of me

Category: Weight Loss

  • Day 485

    On Friday, March 31 (Day 436) I was thrilled to drop below 255 lbs. because that had been my best weight in the year 2005. With a trip to Dallas, falling off my exercise due to an injured foot and whatever else was going on in my head, it would take me two more weeks to drop another 1.4 lbs. to my best weight ever. With the excitement and stress of planning the wedding and then the difficulties I had getting back on track, one month to the day after that wonderful achievement, I stepped onto the scale last Sunday and realized I had gained 13.8 lbs. in a month.

    Three things happened that day.

    The first was that I met with my diet buddy for coffee; for the first time in months, I was not upbeat and optimistic. I was not a beacon of hope, I was not an example of success. I was exuding sadness. My confidence was gone, At the end of the meeting I told her that I needed to get back on track, and I was going to start by going for a jog almost as soon as she left. I told her that on our next check-in I would have positive progress to share and I would have my positive attitude back.

    The second thing that happened is I sent a text to my wife in Texas. We had a bit of a fight that morning, which was probably caused a bit by my down attitude of late, and a bit by the inability to easily convey tone in a text message, thus leading to misunderstandings. A few weeks earlier, she asked me at what point would I want her to ‘crack down’ on my slide. I told her at that time that I was fine, and that as soon as the wedding was behind us, I would fall right back into my weight loss and exercise program. The text that I sent last Sunday read: “Babe, I don’t remember the exact words, but a few weeks ago you asked me when you should start giving me grief about my diet. We are there.’ Later in the afternoon (it was Mother’s Day, and so she was spending the day with my stepson) we talked and agreed that I would wean myself off the bad habits by Wednesday or Thursday at the latest, and she would hold me to it. Like an amazing supporter, she did not set the deadline for me; rather, she asked me to set it. That way, I could not turn around and make excuses like, ‘you set unreasonable expectations for me.’ No, that was all on me.

    The third thing that happened was I did indeed go for a jog. I did not know how much I would have in me, but I was going to do my best… and then I would walk the rest of the way. It did not matter how far or how fast I ran, I just needed to kickstart my exercise routine again.

    These three things from last Sunday (a mere six days ago) worked together to get me back on track… and my body started responding even before Thursday. By the morning I was resuming my full-fast program I had already dropped an incredible 6.4 lbs., which was honestly unexpected considering some of what I ate those days. The real shock would be spread between yesterday and today, which saw a two-day combined loss of a whopping 7.4 lbs., from just two days on my full-fast… and two days of jogging and walking, despite what my Body Battery said.

    Six straight days of weight drops (most of them very significant drops!) totaled an almost unimaginable 13.8 lbs. … and if you read back to the first paragraph of this journal entry, that is the exact amount I had gained during the month of sliding. Yes, this morning I stepped onto the scale and was greeted by the same number as my best weight ever. That means that the next ounce that I lose will be my new record.

    Speaking of jogging, Here are my stats from yesterday. It was not very impressive, but at least I got out there.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 4.03km (6.1km)
    • Duration: 28:26 (42:32)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m02s (6m58s)
    • Steps: 4,530 (6,720)
    • Calories burned: 450 (750)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 159 (158)

    Like I said… I did not break any records.

    There are days when I swear that my fitness watch knows me better than I know myself. Then there are days like today, when I cannot understand some of the readings. I woke up this morning, energized that I got six uninterrupted hours of sleep (and then two more hours after a quick visit to the bathroom). I was going to should for joy about the amazing sleep that I got! When I looked at my wrist I could not understand the sleep score of 49/100. Reading deeper, the portal says that ‘You slept long enough, but your body did not recharge very well. As a result, you may tire more easily today. You got a lot of intense exercise yesterday, and it impacted your sleep quality. Try to eat well, get plenty of rest and perform very strenuous activities sparingly.’ Really? Then how come I felt so good this morning? How come I still feel great three hours later? The other one is Body Battery. I really thought I recharged last night, and yet my BB this morning peaked at a mere 43/100. Garmin might know something that I do not, but I am still planning to go out for a jog this afternoon after the rain stop, which is predicted for around 1:00pm. Of course, it is always possible that I will crap out after 2km (which has happened before), but I am going to give it my best either way.

    Since I do not feel like going out in the rain, I will spend the next couple of hours looking at wedding pictures which Leslie and I just received. I am really excited that they are in and will be renaming files to match the content of each. So far, we have 165 pictures. I do not know if there will be more, but that is a good number to look at and rename… not to mention decide which ones to print and which ones to share with others! I decided to order an electronic picture frame so that I can rotate my favourites and have it on the wall. That should arrive tomorrow.

    My original plan for today was to smoke cigars with a couple of buddies, but one of them told me that he is not available this weekend, and the other has not yet responded. I will likely try to call him soon because he is not the type who is tied to his phone but will hear it if it rings. If he is not available then I will simply relax at home this evening. Whatever I end up doing, Two things are certain: I am going to go out to jog, whatever my BB may tell me. I am going to stay on my program, which means no cheats whatsoever. I joked with Leslie yesterday evening that when I got into my car I cheated because there was a single kernel of popcorn on the passenger seat (I ate popcorn at the mall after my trip to the Apple Store). I think we can all agree that a single kernel of popcorn is not really a cheat, but today I have to stay on the program. That means I will have to be mindful, and I will have to plan the timing of my meal replacements properly.

    This morning I prepared the first shake later than I usually would, owing to my failed attempt to get my bloodwork done before eating or drinking anything. Yes, the lab is usually open on Saturday, but they are closed today for the Victoria Day long weekend. That means that I will have to go one morning this week before class. I cannot put it off to next Saturday because my next appointment with my doctor is the following Monday morning, and the results will absolutely not be ready in time. All this to say that I had my first shake this morning was at 9:00am, so I can plan for my next one at 12:30pm (before my jog), then at 5:00pm (after my jog), and the last one before 9:00pm. This plan allows for an even distribution of them.

    I should mention that I am sitting here at my desk at 11:15am, and I am feeling a bit hungry. I am not going to give in to my urges, knowing that if I wait until 12:30 then I will have my meal replacement and I will stay on plan. Before that, I am going to bide my time by going out to hunt for a new water bottle and shoulder strap. I still cannot believe that I left mine on the airplane… or at one of the airports… or in the Uber. Grrr. It does not happen to me often, but once in a while I am careless and I forget something behind, especially when I am not focused.

    My plan for today is to do everything in my power to hit a new record low weight tomorrow morning. I know that the scale giveth, and the scale taketh away. Even if it does not happen tomorrow, if I stay on track and do not cheat then there is no reason that I will not be there in the next couple of days. I love that feeling… and I want to start feeling it every day or two for the next few weeks!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 484

    I did it. I got through my first day back on the full-fast program without faltering. The only ‘cheating’ I did was two cups of Royal Milk Tea… not really cheats, although still 65 calories per cup.. I was hoping for a slight drop in weight this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale. I was not expecting the monster drop of 4.6 lbs., which brings me within three pounds of my best weight ever. I know that it will take me a few more days to get there (the first day can be a tremendous drop, followed by less tremendous drops the following days), but I am certainly encouraged to continue doing what I did yesterday.

    Of course, one day does not a pattern make. I have to follow up my success from yesterday by doing just as well today… and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and so on. Fortunately my wonderful wife is holding me accountable. For those who might be wondering, she is not being a nag. I have asked her to support me and to hold me accountable, and to make sure that I am staying true to my plan. This is a very good thing!

    Something that I doubt I will be able to do today that I did yesterday is jog. I am still teaching until 1:15pm, at which point I am going to drive into Scarborough to pick up my meal replacements. That will likely be a three-hour shlep. Assuming I get home by 5:00pm, I might still be able to head out, but it will depend on several factors. One thing that it should not depend on is my making plans to see friends. I am hoping to have a relaxing evening at home, and while the forecast calls for a 30% chance of rain around 9:00pm, I still suspect I will be able to enjoy a cigar on the balcony. After this past week I think I deserve it.

    I did exactly what I was hoping for yesterday. I jogged just over 6km, and then walked the remaining 4.75km to get home. I followed my previous track almost exactly. On my next outing I hope I can increase the jogging to 7km. We’ll see!

    Jogging

    • Distance: 6.1km (5.13km)
    • Duration: 42:32 (35:01)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 6m58s (6m49s)
    • Steps: 6,720 (5,600)
    • Calories burned: 750 (650)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 158 (160)

    I was not breaking any records, but I do not need to… All I need to do is keep getting out there and running. It is the movement that helps me to lose weight, and I am not in a race against anyone for speed or distance; I am only in a race with myself to lose weight and to be the best me that I can be.

    My goal for today is to stay on track and to stay mindful. It would be nice to get that jog in when I get back from Toronto, and then when I have lit the Sabbath candles I would like to sit outside with a cigar and my book. I know Leslie has her son this evening so while she can video-chat after he goes to bed, she will likely not be available before that. I will relax and decompress, and when we can talk I will be much happier.

    Yesterday as I finished my article I realized that it had been a few weeks since I used my previously ubiquitous sign-off. I thought that it might have been either a sign that I was off-track and it was affecting my previously positive mindset, or if that sign-off is just something I do as I am losing weight, and while I was not, I didn’t think to do it. Either way…

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 483

    Today is the first day of the rest of my weight loss journey. A few days ago, I made a promise to myself (and to my wife) that I would, starting today, resume my program with gusto and intent. Over the last few days I have been a little more cavalier with my eating, knowing that this resumption was coming. I did not really eat anything bad, but I was certainly not on my strict or even my true modified program. That all ends today. I woke up this morning with a renewed sense of purpose, with a plan to follow the full-fast program. I took stock of my meal replacements, and if I stick to the program completely then I have 9.5 days’ worth. I will drive into Scarborough tomorrow to pick up another case, which is enough for four more weeks. I have to do it tomorrow because next week I am teaching all day every day, and they are not open on weekends.

    While I have certainly not been true to my program since returning from Dallas, I will consider it at least a minor victory that everything that I have eaten, I have cooked myself. There was one exception to that, which was at the herf I went to last Friday (they had chicken wings, and I ate six of them). I have not eaten at a restaurant even once; I have not ordered food, and I have not even bought any food from the prepared food counters at the supermarket. I have said before that however difficult it may be to eat well at home, it is exponentially more difficult to do when eating out. Do not get me wrong – I still bought mini-crisps and even Goldfish crackers a couple of times… but other than those, almost everything that I have eaten has still been relatively acceptable… on my modified program, if not on my full-fast program.

    I was shocked once again this morning when I stepped onto the bathroom scale to a major drop in weight. While I am still above the 260 lbs. mark, I am also less than 7.5 lbs. heavier than my best weight ever (from April 14 – Day 450). It is as if my body, despite eating more than usual and even eating late yesterday, wants to encourage me to get back on track and not lose faith that I can do it. I do not know if I would have been demotivated had I gained weight this morning, but the numbers on the scale this morning did give me a spring in my step, and hopefully energized me to make it through the next few days, which are always going to be difficult. After all, going from eating normal food back to only 900-calories of meal replacements in a day is never going to be easy, either physically or emotionally.

    This morning had another surprise for me. During my usual morning ritual I had a very fine bowel movement… nothing new there. A couple of hours later, before I started teaching (as I was writing this journal entry) I took a break, and had another very good BM. Two in a morning is rare, and it felt good. I suspect that as I drop the solid foods for the next few weeks, even the one per day will not be guaranteed. Maybe this was another way for my body to help me to make that break – ridding my body of those solid foods in anticipation of not needing them.

    I am teaching until 1:00pm today, and then again from 5:30 until 9:00pm. My plan is to have a shake directly after my morning class, and then go for a jog. The weather forecast calls for a beautiful afternoon – partly cloudy with temperatures steady around 13°-14°. I will plan a course of about 10km, similar to my distance Sunday. On that outing I jogged 5km and then walked the rest of the way. Today I will try to increase my jogging distance to at least 7km, and more if I am feeling it. I just want to keep improving.

    My goal for the day is to stay mindful. Today is my first day back on the program, and I have to make sure that it stays that way. It is all too easy to eat something, which means that tomorrow would be my first day back on the program. “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.” Quoting MacBeth can be morbid, but she long and the short of it is that I cannot live for tomorrow and hope to do better tomorrow. I have to life today and succeed today. It is too easy to put things off until tomorrow… that is often the best road to mediocrity and failure. I do not want to fail! I want to continue to lose weight and eventually be the lithe slim fellow that I have not seen in the mirror for more than twenty-five years!

    Something else that I need to remember to focus on today is my water intake. I have to drink a lot of water to stay hydrated and to continue to flush the garbage from my system. The simple math is that the more one drinks, the more one loses weight… as long as they are not eating crap.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 476

    I walked into the doctor’s office yesterday knowing that I have gained weight. I was hoping that I would not have gained too much, and when I saw that I was 3.3kg heavier than I was a month ago I started making excuses to myself. 3.3kg (about 7.3 lbs.) is a lot of weight, but I usually get weighed in the morning… things like that. Well, last night I lay in bed thinking about it, and realized that give or take a pound, the numbers on my bathroom scale matched up with that… in the morning. What I should have been coming to terms with was not the discrepancies, but the trend, the stresses, and getting back to my normal life, normal routine, and losing the weight once again.

    With all that, I did not expect the numbers on the scale to be down significantly again today. After all, I ate (more than I should have), I snacked a bit, and I did not exercise. I also did not have a successful bowel movement (I have only had one in the past four days). When I stepped onto the bathroom scale (yes, it is still in my bedroom) I was fully expecting to be slightly up… not three pounds down. Yes, you read that right. I was truly surprised, and not unpleasantly so.

    I realize these last few weeks I have not been nearly so verbose as I usually am. I am sure that some of my readers will appreciate that. With that said, I am still writing every day. When I pressed the publish button on my article yesterday I received a notification that I am now on a 250-day streak. There have been a few days in there these last couple of weeks – especially around the wedding day – when I only posted a sentence or two, but that is enough for the WordPress platform. I hope that as I get back on track that I will be able to start sharing positive feelings and experiences again.

    As I sit at my desk preparing to welcome my students, I have already planned my meal (which I will prepare and enjoy right after class, which should have my meal done by 2:15pm). I thought for a minute about going to the store to pick up more chicken and lettuce. Instead I will open a can to make a salmon salad with onions and non-fat mayonnaise, and I will likely make a cucumber salad with the rest of that vegetable (and the rest of my onion). By not going to the store I avoid the temptations of buying… well, just about anything that could pull me in the wrong direction.

    I might go to Taekwondo this evening, depending on how I am feeling. On the one hand, the activity always makes me feel great. On the other, I have to be the senior belt in the room unless Master Sasha is in… and even if he is, I am still at least fifteen years older than he is, so seen as a senior… despite trying to not teach or guide the kids, sometimes it is hard to not do so. The last couple of days I have not felt up to that at all, and I might just stay on the balcony to have a blessed virtual date night with my wife.

    I am not going back on the full program today, but if I can contain my eating to what I said before – the canned salmon and the cucumber salad – then I should be able to get by without gaining tomorrow morning.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 470

    Okay, it was bound to happen, especially how I’ve been eating. My weight jumped a little today, which took me just above the 260 lbs. mark again. I am not at all upset by this. I know that last night, after preparing a lovely roast chicken dinner for the family (with French fries, which are immediately a bad idea), I decided to have a piece of toast with peanut butter. I knew then that the carbs of the bread and the sugar of the peanut butter were a terrible idea, but I did it anyways. I will do better today!

    Speaking of today, I finally slept last night. I do not remember when I fell asleep (nor do I even remember going to bed) but I woke up around 2:00am to use the washroom and realized I had been asleep for a while. According to Garmin, I was asleep by 9:15pm, and got ten full hours of sleep. I feel much better today than I have the last couple of days, and I am ready to go for a light jog. My Body Battery is at 81/100, which means that I am not really at risk of running out of steam. With that said, I have not jogged in the last ten days so I do not expect too much of myself. I will not be trying to win any races.

    This evening is my last class with the group that I have been teaching since the beginning of February. Three nights per week for three months I have spent with this group, and I am so proud of their progress. They still have exams to take, but they are on their way to becoming networking professionals. Next week I will be starting with a new group, but only for a couple of weeks. It is not often that I get to work with a group for this long, and I have loved every minute of it… despite a lot of frustrating moments.

    The end of class means that starting next week my Monday evenings will be free. This works out perfectly because I have been invited to sit a class for cigar professionals that is Monday evenings for the next few months. I am very excited about the class, and only hope that I can keep up… they told me that they will be delivering it simultaneously in Spanish and in English, but I know one of the instructors and his English is almost zero. I do not know how they will do it, but my dues are paid and whether I need to use a translator or not, I am ready to start.

    Despite what the forecast predicted, it is a beautiful day outside. Between now and noon it is going to hit 85°, but for now it is in the mid-70s. The rain is predicted to start around 3:00pm, with the high temperatures forecast to hit 95° by then. That would not be comfortable jogging weather, but right now it is. It is time for me to suit up and hit the road so that I can be back before the worst of it starts. I had a few things I needed to take care of before getting out, but I think most of them are done so I am ready.

    My goal for today is to get back on track, both with jogging and with eating. Let’s see if I can drop below 260 again tomorrow. I know that I will likely not be able to jog tomorrow or Sunday, but if I can have one good day in Dallas before returning to Canada then I will be happy.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 469

    Had you asked me a week ago, I would have scoffed at the idea that my weight this morning would be back under 260 lbs. After all, that morning I weighed 263.4 lbs., and I was going into my travel/wedding weekend fully intending to be off the program completely. I not only expected to gain weight, but I was completely okay with it. Anyone who read yesterday’s entry knows that I ate very well this weekend… which is to say that I actually ate very poorly from the viewpoint of dieting and losing weight. While I had not been doing well on my program for the entire previous week, things really started when I got to the airport a week ago today. After a full breakfast, I had chips and other snacks on the plane. By the following morning I was another 2.4 lbs. heavier, and I expected that by the time we got back to Dallas (Tuesday night) I would easily weigh 270 lbs. Yesterday morning’s 4.2 lbs. drop from Friday was a tremendous shock; this morning’s further 2.4 lbs. drop from yesterday blew me away. Four days after the wedding I am back under 260 lbs. for the first time in nine days.

    Why am I blown away? I had pizza for dinner last night. I was teaching so Leslie and her son ordered food, and I happily ate several slices while my students ran labs. It was not nearly as good as the pizza at The Stonehaus that I enjoyed over the weekend, but it was mighty tasty. It is usually a safe bet that any day that I eat pizza (much less five slices of it) I will gain weight. Not this time! This is just one more time when I admit that I do not understand the way my body works.

    I am not jogging today, despite my writing yesterday that I probably would. I got into bed last night at a reasonable hour and could not sleep. At 12:30am I gave up trying, hoping that staring at my computer screen for a while would tire my eyes. I ended up writing an 1,800-word article for my cigar blog which I hope to publish tomorrow or the latest Monday. I went back to bed and finally fell asleep sometime after 2:30am. My Body Battery barely cracked 60/100 this morning, and I am not going to push myself into an injury. I will try again tomorrow. In the meantime, I will spend a couple of hours at the lounge this afternoon. I have an article that I promised my students that I would write for them, and I want to finish it today so it can be published tomorrow in time for our final class together. I will eat reasonably during the day – I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and I will pick up salads for Leslie and I for lunch. Dinner will of course depend on a number of factors, not the least is my seven-year-old stepson. Whatever we decide on, I will keep mindful and eat in moderation. While I doubt I will see another two-pound drop on the scale tomorrow morning, I will make sure that I am careful so as not to see any increase.

    Speaking of jogging, I am not sure if I will be able to jog outside tomorrow. Starting this evening there is rain and thunderstorms in the forecast for every day from now through Sunday when I fly back to Canada. The high temperatures every day are forecast well above 90° every day as well. While the hourly forecast looks like the morning will be cloudy but dry with temperatures in the high 70s, I do not know how well I can trust that. If it is comfortable outside then I will jog outside; otherwise I will hit the treadmill in the gym. Either way, I am really hoping that tomorrow I can get at least some exercise in. It has been too long since my last jog!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 458

    I killed it on my jog yesterday! Not only did I do the whole ten kilometres without so much as a pause, but I did it faster and stronger than I ever have. My eighth, ninth, and tenth kilometres were 7m28s & 7m27s. Every other kilometre was under 7m15s, with my first ever kilometre clocking under 7m (6m57s on the third kilometre). I truly surprised myself, surpassing my best expectations. I am not going to lie, that Body Battery measurement is either no joke, or a real psychosomatic trick!

    I decided to pull up at the 10km mark. I should mention that there is always a slight discrepancy in measurements between my fitness watch and my phone, so I always finish the 10km on both, and then use the slightly higher measurement for my records.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 10.1km (5.00km)
    • Duration: 1:13:18 (38:30)
    • pb Average Pace (Min/km): 7m15s (7m41)
    • Steps: 11,654 (5,900)
    • Calories burned: 1,300 (525)
    • pb Average cadence (steps per minute): 159 (153)

    I am now in the top 14% of the 2023 challenge, ranked 20,276/146,133. I suspect that one or two more jogs will get me into the top 20,000, but I am not checking to see how many people above me are within reach. I am rather surprised to see that in my age bracket I only today cracked the top 20%, ranking 5,033/26,064. Once again, I am less concerned with how I am faring against others and more concerned with doing better today than I did a week ago.

    After I pulled up from my jog, I was still 2.25km from home, and I walked the rest of the way. I am feeling good… and if I did not have things I had to get done, I likely would have kept going. The better me is on his way!

    My only cheat on the day was a cup of milk tea and half a dozen dried apricots which were laying around. I should not have eaten them, but I did, and I own up to it. They are the last of what I bought at Bulk Barn yesterday, and I will not be going back before my flight on Thursday. I am taking Gilad for lunch today so I might have to eat something, but I will not be going nuts on it.

    I was in the middle of writing the following sentence: ‘A close friend is going through some stuff right now, and his wife asked me to drive out to visit him in the afternoon.’ When my phone beeped with a message that he was admitted back to the hospital last night. I am worried about him, but that also means that I cannot go to see him today. This is a blessing in disguise, as the two hour drive each way would have not been convenient today. I would happily do it and will do anything I can to help him or her. Frankly, I would make the drive happily if only to hug both of my godchildren. However, I have a 9:30 meeting with my diet buddy, followed by lunch with my son, and with the four hours driving and a few hours visiting, I am not sure how I would have been able to fit my exercise in. I am currently on a twelve-day steps-goal streak (my best ever since switching to Garmin in 2019), and I would be quite happy to keep extending that for a few more days. I cannot imagine that it will last through the wedding (Friday Leslie and I are flying to California, and the schedule gets busy from there), but even if I get it up to seventeen or eighteen days, I will consider it a huge success.

    The weather is not conducive to running outside today which means I will be at the gym for my running. While it is forecast to stop raining around 3:00pm, I am not going to plan my day around the accuracy of a weather forecast. I bought a new lock (identical to the old one) and printed out the invoice to give to the General Manager of the club. It turns out it was less expensive than I remembered, but that does not make it a cheap mistake. With taxes the total is a few cents shy of $60, which I will gladly take in gym credit. I am tempted to print out a sheet to wrap around it that says ‘THIS IS NOT YOUR LOCKER! DO NOT CUT THE LOCK!’ but I cannot think of a good way to make other gym members not snicker at that.

    As I mentioned, it is raining this morning. It actually started sometime during my class last night, which means that Princess Sophie had zero interest in going outside. We got to the front door, and she slammed on the brakes. She did the same thing this morning, which means that sometime in the next few hours she is going to break down and say ‘FINE! I’ll get a little wet, I just gotta pee.’ I will have to watch her when Julie is here, but she is generally a good girl and has not had an accident in the house ever unless she was sick… and that only happened once or twice.

    I was quite happy when the bathroom scale reported another loss of 2.6 lbs., taking me down to within 2.2 lbs. of my best weight ever from last Friday morning. If I stay on track, I might actually get to the 250 lbs. mark by the time I fly on Thursday, but if I do not then I will not be disappointed… as long as I am below 255 lbs. which I hope to hit again tomorrow or Monday morning.

    I have always been bad at keeping track of how different foods affect my body. I do not mean that I gain weight from some foods and lose weight from others. I know that these last couple of days I have had only meal replacements and a few peanuts and dried apricots. Both yesterday and today I had very comfortable and productive bowel movements, and I am wondering if the handful of dried apricots were a contributory factor to that. I will never go overboard on them, but I will keep this in mind the next time I am a little backed up.

    My plan for today is to stay mindful. I do not know where my son the younger will want to go for lunch, but I am not going to use it as an excuse to fall off the wagon. Yes, I will eat something if I have to… but I will not be gorging myself, and I will be ordering smartly. After I drop him off, I will drive straight to the gym so that I can work off whatever excess carbs I ate… and of course extend my streak. Despite a less than ideal night’s sleep, my body battery was up to 82/100 this morning. While I am not as charged as I was yesterday (when I was ready and eager to run even while walking Her Floofness), I will still have the energy to get a decent workout in. I would love to spend some time in the studio working on Taekwondo, but my elbow is still bothering me, and I am not going to push it. I will continue my lower-body workouts for now and hope that my elbow continues to improve before I start trying to throw punches and blocks with that arm. As long as I can get through lunch with my boy without falling off, then the rest of the day should be smooth sailing.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 448

    On Monday, I jogged 5.6km and then walked 7.3km. Yesterday I ran the same route… except I jogged 12km, literally crushing it! Yes, I pulled up with under 1km to go, and I walked the rest of the way. It felt absolutely amazing! Five of those kilometres were under 7m42s, with three more under 8 minutes even. I know that there are two factors (aside from fatigue) that slow me down: jogging uphill and jogging into the wind. Because of that, my sixth kilometre was my slowest, at 8m43s. While I heard my app read that into my ear, I was a little disheartened, but I kept going anyways. While I would slow down afterwards, my best kilometre was actually my eighth. Yes, I was extremely pleased by my progress. I might take a break today because of a hectic schedule, but if I keep this up, I will finally earn that 15km badge in the next couple of weeks.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 12.02km (5.6km)
    • Duration: 1:36:17 (41:34)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 8m00s (7m25s)
    • Steps: 14,350 (6,435)
    • Calories burned: 1,534 (576)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 149 (155)

    I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that there is a challenge on one of my apps to run or walk 1,023 kilometres in this calendar year. Following yesterday’s workout, I am now 29% done (with 299.77km tracked as activities). I am also ranked in the top 18.6% of participants. While that only has me ranked 26,222, as of this morning there are over 141,000 people signed up for the challenge. That means that I am actually ahead of over 114,500 people. Of course, there is no prize for finishing first. The prizes are a lottery drawn of the people who finish the full 1,023km in the year. If I continue at this pace, I am well on my way to accomplishing that. I do not care if I win one of the prizes or not. Accomplishing that goal will be amazing enough.

    I did cheat a little yesterday. I bought a small bag of peanuts, which I ate in the car. I was stuck in traffic getting out of Toronto for over two hours, and I needed something. After all, having burned over 1,500 calories on my jog, I knew that I might get away with it. Yes, that will slightly affect my weight loss when I step onto the scale at the doctor’s office, but I needed it. I also drank a lot of water!

    Yesterday was also my best steps day in years, clocking over 21,500 steps. I may not be down from my last weigh-in… but I am certainly doing what I need to do in order to get back on track. Considering that between March 31 and April 10 I actually gained nine pounds, I am really happy that I am well on my way to losing all of that in less than a week.

    When I was speaking with Leslie last night, she mentioned that she thought that I ate pretty well while I was in Dallas. I reminded her that the day before I flew down, I broke my diet because I was not feeling well (accounting for a two-pounds gain recorded before I flew on April 1). Additionally, when I was there, aside from eating late at night a few times, I also ate a lot of matzah (with quite a bit of peanut butter), not to mention the entire bag of chips I ate on the airplane coming home. My weight gain is nobody’s fault but my own.

    In any event, according to the bathroom scale this morning I am down another 3.4 lbs. from yesterday. I have dropped all of the weight that I gained in Dallas plus nearly half a pound and am 1.6 lbs. from again reaching my best weight ever. It feels great to know that in contrast to how things usually work, it took me just two days to shed the weight that I gained over eight days. I have so often lamented that it would usually take a few days to lose the weight gained from a single cheat day. I am energized by this success and will continue to stay on track today. Unlike most mornings when I am off to the doctor’s office, I did not even brew my pot of coffee when I came in from walking the Princess. I will do that upon my triumphant return. What would I consider a triumphant weigh-in? Just yesterday I would have said that if my weight is stable from three weeks ago, or even if I am only a few ounces heavier, then I would be happy. Based on my bathroom scale weigh-in, I might be as much as 1kg down. That will be huge for me indeed, considering the last couple of weeks.

    I am off to the doctor’s office, hoping for good news (which would be little or no gain from my last visit three weeks ago). I am also looking forward to discussing my gastro issues with him, and whether or not I should start weening myself off the full-fast program now, or if I could continue through June. I also have to discuss my ADHD medication, and whether I need to increase (or lower) the dosage, or if we should be trying a different medication. There are some days when I feel fine, but there are others when I am just not as focused as I should be… and when I seem to talk a lot more than I did a month ago. I’ll see you all in a jiffy!

    —

    I have developed a great rapport with the nurse who weighs me at the doctor’s office, and she is always amazed by how well I am doing. This morning she looked at me even before I stepped onto the scale and told me that she thought I have lost even more weight. I was not sure, but in fact my weight was down 1.3kg from three weeks ago. No, it is not the same pace I have been losing the last few weigh-ins (as much as 4.7kg lost from three weeks ago), but it is still a loss. Considering the realities of the last few weeks, that is a huge win for me!

    The other issues that I discussed with the doctor were all good news. He feels I should stick with my current medication (and dosage) for another month to see if external factors may have played a part in my changes, and he feels that I can safely stay on the full fast program for another month or two without concern. I asked him about blood work, and he told me that even though I have lost 50 lbs. since he last tested me, there was nothing of concern then (December) so he does not think we need to retest now. In a few months we will revisit that. He also told me that the ultrasound of my knee was clean, so I can continue jogging, and as we have discussed before, I should let pain be my guide… if I have to slow down or shorten my jogs, then do so.

    Speaking of which, if I do not get out now then I will not be able to do it at all today. I just finished a great meeting with a training broker who wants to work with me, but it went longer than it was supposed to, so I have to hurry up. I was not planning on jogging as long today as I did yesterday, but I know that I have to be home at 11:30 so that I can shower before heading out to the dentist.

    My plan for today remains the same… I will stay mindful and focused, and I will keep crushing it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 447

    I am not sure why I was not able to jog farther than I did yesterday. I pulled up at a little over 5.5km, opting to powerwalk the rest of the way. The two workouts combined for 12.9km, respectable by any measure. I just do not know why I stopped running. My legs were not bothering me, nor were my lungs. There was just an overall feeling of… something. While the walking did not break any records for me, it was certainly much faster paced than it had been since I started jogging, with my last complete kilometre clocking at 9m16s, which is not too shabby! My jogging pace was quite respectable as well, with three of my 5.6km clocked at 7.16s or faster. This morning I will hit the trails once more and see how much farther I can jog than I did yesterday. I might try to run the same path, only hopefully I will get farther before slowing my pace.

    Jogging

    • Distance: 5.6km (4.09km)
    • Duration: 41:34 (34:22)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 7m25s (8m24s)
    • Steps: 6,435 (5,200)
    • Calories burned: 576 (450)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 155 (151)

    Walking

    • Distance: 7.3km
    • Duration: 1:11:06
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 9m44s
    • Steps: 9,950
    • Calories burned: 689
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 140

    Leslie and I had a conversation about my running shoes last week. Most experts say that running shoes have a life expectancy, and a quick glance at the studies online shows me that most of my shoes are ready to be retired. There is one pair that is an exception to that, but most of my running shoes are approaching what looks like their golden years. That is before we even consider the fact that every pair of running shoes that I own knew my feet when I was well over 300 lbs., which would be a big factor in further reducing the life expectancy of them. All this to say that I think it is about time I look into ordering a new pair or two… especially if I am going to do a lot of running over the spring and summer.

    I have to drive into Toronto this afternoon for a meeting, which will be a bit of a schmooze-fest, but it is with someone who knows a lot of people in my industry and is going to try to get me interviews with a few companies. Knowing my current situation, I am not sure how I feel about taking a job in Canada… but contracts are always good, and it never hurts to know more people. This person was introduced to me by a former colleague who I respect, and who respects me; he would not knowingly be wasting my time. The only complication with that is the driving to and from the city… mostly from, based on the timing. I will likely stay put until the worst of the rush hour traffic is past, and then drive back to Burlington. To be safe, I will take my Taekwondo kit with me, because I would really like to get to class this evening.

    Okay, so I ran yesterday… and I walked. I also got back on the full-fast program and did not have any issues on that front. I did notice I was a little peckish as I lay in bed, but I am sure that was more mental than physical; I did not lie awake with hunger pangs; it was more of a quick ‘I think I’m a bit hungry’ as I spoke with Leslie… who reminded me that I was probably not hungry at all. She was right! I told her during our conversation that I was expecting my weight to drop dramatically from yesterday (when it rose dramatically). She reminded me that I had been off my program for ten days, and I should not expect to lose it all in one day. I assured her that I expected it would take at least a week to shed all the weight I had gained. After all, I was a whopping nine pounds heavier than my best weight (March 31, eleven days ago). The bathroom scale was very kind to me this morning, giving me back an incredible four pounds of progress, and dropping me, once again, below that dreaded 260 lbs. mark. While I am still five pounds from my best weight ever, I am only three pounds heavier than I was the morning I flew to Dallas eleven days ago… which was the morning after I had a pretty big cheat meal because of the scare with my bowels. I am feeling good, and while my hemorrhoids are still bothering me, the other bowel issues (which came with stomach cramps) seem to be gone. Nonetheless, I will still be speaking with my doctor about the issues tomorrow, and we will discuss if it is safe for me to continue on the full fast program… at least for another six weeks or so.

    Another issue I plan to discuss with my doctor tomorrow is my ADHD medications. The first couple of months on them I felt like a new man, with a renewed energy and focus, while being able to sit still without interrupting people all the time. These last few weeks – possibly since the last dosage increase – I have not felt quite so focused; at first, I thought it was just me, but when Leslie asked about it, I realized that it is real, and that I had better speak with the doctor. That meeting is tomorrow morning, which works out perfectly because tomorrow I will take the last pill in my previous prescription. I had called the pharmacy to renew, but if I do not collect the pills, and I get a new prescription from my doctor tomorrow, then they will simply cancel the old one and give me the new dosage… or new medication, as the case may be. That is not a subject that I am expert in and will listen to what the doctor has to say about it.

    Over the next two hours the temperatures should be jumping from the current 8° to 14° at 10:00am and peaking at 19° from 2-6pm. It is partly cloudy out, and while there was a bit of a breeze as I walked Her Floofness this morning, it was no worse than that. From 2:00pm the forecast calls for high winds, which seem to die down by 7:00pm. It looks like if all goes well, by the time I get home from Taekwondo this evening, the weather will be perfect to enjoy a cigar on the balcony. I finished my book yesterday afternoon, which means I should be giving some thought to my next read. I think I am going to continue with the current trend – I am listening to an audiobook that is fiction and will look for something in non-fiction to read on my e-book reader. An old friend of mine has written several books on cybersecurity, including one on the Dark Web that I have been meaning to read for a couple of years. <ten minutes later> I just reached out to him to ask if he thinks it is still relevant. Hopefully I will get an answer before it is time to read!

    My plans for today, with regard to my weight management program, are to stay on track and stay mindful. I will be going for my jog around 10:00am, after which I will come home, shower, answer any e-mails I may get, and then have my second meal replacement before heading out to Toronto. I will be taking my third meal replacement with me so that I can have it in the car before Taekwondo and will then have my fourth shake after Taekwondo (and before my cigar, should I be able to enjoy one). Staying on track and staying mindful are the best way to guarantee that I get back on track this week. I know that unless I have another tremendous weight drop tomorrow, I will not have lost weight between doctors’ visits for the first time since January. It’s okay though. I made the conscious decision to go off the program for good reason, and I stand by it. The fact that it coincided with a week of not being able to exercise did hurt a little, but I am back on track, and the weight will continue to come off. Mindfulness and focus are how I will ultimately succeed.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 446

    Okay, let’s get back on track. Starting right now, I am on track again. The numbers on the bathroom scale this morning scared me straight, and I am back on the full fast program… at least, for now. I do not know how much longer I will do it, and I might transition to a partial program sometime soon… but I weigh nine pounds more than I did at my best weight ever, and I am going to shed that off in a hurry. Also, I know that in less than three weeks I am getting married to my wife (yes, we are already married, and yes, this is the ceremony we are looking forward to, not just the two of us in the courthouse), so I want to look as good as I can!

    Why, you may ask, did I gain so much weight from yesterday to today? It is easy to chalk it up to air travel, but I am the first to admit that I cheated… a lot. At the airport, I sat down for a meal of a veggie omelet, which is not at all bad. While I am sure they fry it in too much oil, and to make it tastier they add more cheese than necessary, I still know that three eggs at dinnertime was not my downfall. Nor, I should mention, was the remaining half-handful of almonds that I still had in my knapsack from the flight down. It was the bag of chips that I bought at the airport, knowing that the only snacks available to me on the plane would not be kosher for Passover. Also, it was the meal replacement that I had after midnight when I came home, not wanting to go to bed hungry. Two really stupid moves. It was already going to take me at least a few days to get back down to my best weight ever… now I am just that much farther from it. The journey starts now, and it starts with me back on the program, and it continues with me getting out to jog today.

    It is a beautiful day in Burlington, but I miss Leslie already. It is always wonderful when we are together, and so much more difficult each time we are apart. I know that this will change eventually, but not soon enough for us.

    The forecast for today is sunny until 3:00pm, at which point it clouds over. By noon (in an hour) the temperatures should be around 13°, going up to 17° over the following two hours. That should be the sweet spot for my first outdoor jog in a couple of weeks. When I get home, after I shower, I will have my second meal replacement of the day, and then I will probably sit outside on the balcony with a cigar. I am teaching this evening, and tomorrow during the day I have to work on my cybersecurity presentation that I am doing on Friday. I have already created the outline for it, now I just have to fill in all of the slides, and then write a script for it. This should be fun, but as with my last one, it will be a lot of work!

    I am not treating today as another Day 1 on the program; It is simply the day that I return to it from holiday. While I am reasonably sure the meal replacements are not strictly kosher for Passover, they will do me fine, and Hashem will understand. In 2020 I fell off the wagon hard after Yom Kippur. That will not happen this time around. I went over some bumps, but I am righting the ship… starting right now.

    Have a great day folks!