Losing a part of me

At 11:55pm I posted on my weight loss blog that I had cheated. Over the course of the day, I ate two or three (measured) handfuls of almonds, and that I felt bad about it. Not because I was worried that 30 almonds were going to ruin my diet, rather that the break in the routine – and breaking the disciplined regimen of not veering from the plan – might. I promised myself that I would not cheat today… at all.

There are not many things that I really dislike about my apartment in Burlington. Yes, it is smaller than I would like; were I going into an office to work every day it would be fine, but working from home, I do wish I had a second closed-off room to make an office of. That is one of the reasons why my apartment in California truly was perfect. My bedroom was at one end of the apartment, my office was at the other (adjacent to the living room, which was even further from my bedroom). These were separated by the bathroom and the kitchen, and the way the building was laid out made it so that each room had a window to one side or the other of the building. The leasing agent told me I was lucky, that it was the only layout in the entire complex that had two rooms that did not share a wall. That mattered less to me because I lived alone with Princess Sophie but would have made a big difference to a family with children. I miss that apartment.

The number one feature of my current apartment that irks me is the floors. Both the realtor and later the owner of the apartment told me at the beginning that there are issues with the floor, and when walking barefoot you can tell that there are some places where it is uneven. I don’t much care about that. What really bothers me is that in the bathroom, I can place the bathroom scale in one spot and get what I thought was an accurate reading… and then I can move it six inches, and the reading is a full 4 lbs different. Yes, throughout the course of the day, your body weight will fluctuate… but not in 2-3 minutes. That is caused by an unsteadiness in the floor. I suppose that for the time being, my actual weight from day-to-day and week-to-week matters less than the downward trend of it. If we can assume that from spot to spot may be inconsistent, but the same spot will be consistent, then what I am going to have to do is to figure out a way to place the scale in the exact same spot every day. What I might do is paint two lines – one from each wall – that I can align the sides to. I don’t know… I’ll figure something out.

Aside from the almonds, yesterday was mostly a good day. Earlier in the day I was not good about drinking water, although by the time I went to bed I had finished two of my 74 oz bottles worth. Rather than drink it all starting in the late afternoon, I really should make sure to start earlier in the day and spread the positive effects of it out over the course of the day.

(Directly after writing that last paragraph I went to the kitchen, got my water bottle, and took a giant gulp from it. It is not my first water of the day but having the bottle at my desk will be a constant reminder to drink… and I will!)

Previously, I have been a patient of two bariatric clinics in Ontario, Canada. The first in Hamilton, the second in Ottawa. Yesterday I called both of them to see if I could get a prescription for the medically supervised meal-replacements that I want to use, and both said no. It has been too long, and I would need to see a doctor. Additionally, because the Province of Ontario will not cover someone going through the program twice, I would have to do it with a private clinic. I am not sure if I want to go that route, or if I want to continue to buy the product on the second-hand market. After all, they are not drugs, so it makes very little sense that one would need a prescription to buy them. In the meantime, I have made an appointment to see my doctor for next week. I don’t suppose it would hurt to get a referral to the clinic, if that is the way I do decide to go.

When I was at my friends’ house over the weekend, I noticed next to the sink a bottle of keto-strips, and I was curious. I did not know that there was a product that you could buy that would let you know if your body was in ketosis or not. I briefly considered buying some – I even looked at them on Amazon when I got home. I then decided against it, simply because as long as I am losing weight, I am on track… aside from it not mattering if I am in ketosis or not, I think my energy levels (and consistent weight loss) are proof enough that I am where I need to be. If I was on the program for specific health reasons (other than morbid obesity), then it would be a different story. For the time being, I have decided that I do not need to pee on a stick to know what’s going on.

I have just a little bit of work to do during the day, and then in the afternoon a friend is coming over for a cigar. I am teaching in the evening, but that does not get started until 6:00pm. It is good to have a schedule, and I am not meandering through the day aimlessly, giving myself more opportunity to cheat. Today will be a good diet day!