Losing a part of me

I do not know if I could have gotten this far into my weight loss journey without the love and support of a good woman. The fact that she understands my struggles is a huge relief, and has gotten me through many hard days.

Yesterday evening I wrote an entry that began with four paragraphs of how I was going to pick up a whole lot of really unhealthy foods for dinner. It was a dream sequence, and when that sequence was completed, I decided to space it so that the next line (‘WAKE UP, MITCH! You were dreaming! ‘) would be off the bottom of the page for most readers. I wanted the reader to feel that this was real… as real as the temptation was in me.

When we sat down for our date, Leslie told me that I had her going, and that while she was reading it… let’s just say that she was not impressed. I told her that I did not write it as a ruse or a joke, but rather as a demonstration that while my goal is to change my unhealthy relationship with food… I am nowhere near achieving that goal. It would have been as easy for me to pick up the Chinese food and Buffalo wings as it was for me to go for my walk. Easier, in fact, because it would have required no pain, endurance, or dedication… only my credit card.

My walking and weight management routines are still in their nascent stage, and nowhere near habitual. While I do not wake up every morning salivating over the thought of French toast drowning in Quebec maple syrup, I also am not at the point where I am addicted to my exercising. I also know that it would not take much to push me back into my old habits. Even if I were able to curtail the overeating, I would still be indulging in unhealthy foods (mostly take-out) on a daily basis. Otherwise, I might be eating only my own cooking… but eating three large meals per day. The more likely scenario is that I would be overeating a combination of my own foods and the unhealthy take-out… and that only because restaurants do get expensive, and I am not made of money.

I do not want any of that to happen. I know that I still have a few things I will need to cut out when my current weight loss plateaus. My one meal is larger than it needs to be, and I could cut it down. I will eventually have to cut out milk in my coffee, and sugar or sweetener as well. With regard to food intake, those are currently the only things that are I might cut out if I wanted to speed things up. Yes, I could stop adding pumpkin seeds to my salad, and fewer tomatoes and onions (which are both high in sugar), but that is it.

As I discussed with Leslie yesterday, there will be days when my weight is up (as it was yesterday), but the science is clear that if I stick with my current regimen of food and exercise, there is no way for me to not lose weight. Before I was ever introduced to my current (rather extreme) program, everyone told me that a 1,500-calorie diet would be an extreme but effective way for me to lose weight. Well guess what? I am not consuming that many calories in a day. No, I am not on the 900-calorie regimen that the full-on program calls for (four meal replacements, nothing else), but I have done that twice, and both times I succeeded until I failed. Thank you, I will do my modified program that is less extreme, but hopefully will show longer-lasting results.

It is quite the relief that Princess Sophie is feeling better. Last night was the second in a row that she slept through the night; this morning she had her second solid and healthy bowel movement. I am relieved that whatever she was afflicted with is behind her. She had a half-day play date with Charlie yesterday, and I suspect she will be with him all day today at our neighbour Sue’s house. Every loving dog parent wants their fur-babies to be happy and healthy; the five days when she was not were not fun, not because I had to clean up several poop accidents in the kitchen (although there was nothing fun about that), and not because she got me out of bed in the middle of the night (when she did let me sleep at all), but mostly because I hated seeing her unhappy. She is a very proud pup, and I know that she was embarrassed by her needs and by her weakness. I can see it in her eyes that she is relieved to be feeling better.

My plan for the day is no different from yesterday. My fitness watch has a sliding scale for daily step goals, which I believe is based on your average steps for the last week. Today’s goal is 11,540, and judging by my performance this week I should not have any trouble achieving that. I am going to set a goal though… I have since Monday walked 31.75km, averaging just under 8km per day. I am going to aim for a fifty-five-kilometre goal from Monday through Sunday. To achieve that, all I have to do is average 8 km per day, which is really my baseline now anyways. The challenge is getting out there to do it… and that despite whatever the weather may be. Today will likely be my easiest day – the forecast high is 26° (79°F), and the only rain forecast is before noon. Tomorrow the forecast is mostly sunny with a high of 31°C (88°F), with Sunday being slightly higher, and with a 50% chance or rain. So as long as I am willing to brave the elements, I can achieve that goal.

I tried to find a reasonably flight to Dallas over the next few days, but last-minute inexpensive flights are very hard to come by. I miss Leslie terribly, and really wish I could be with her.

Have a great day folks!