Day 329

As difficult as life is right now, yesterday was a success. I stuck to my eating plan (absolutely no cheating). I worked out with my trainer (which was a bit uncomfortable because I forgot my shorts, which meant I had to work out in my very tight Size 40 jeans). Eduardo threw me a curve when he told me he wanted to watch the football match at a resto-bar, which had me worried. While I briefly considered ordering a bowl of chicken gumbo, the staff was unable to provide me with the nutritional information, so I decided to abstain, and drank coffee all afternoon. Argentina won, so I was extremely happy.

I came home to a happy puppy (who spent the afternoon at Charlie’s playing) and had a short cigar on the balcony. At about 5:00pm, I came into the apartment, changed my shirt, warmed up my coffee, and started my class. I hope my students feel that it went well. I am confident I am a good instructor, but I am always worried that someone will not like my style. I will ask the students today to let me know if there is anything they want me to change.

The shirt I changed into is a button-down shirt that I bought fifteen years ago that has a Microsoft Certified Trainer logo on it. I do not think I have worn it in thirteen years and know that for much of that time it did not fit… save for the two brief periods when I had lost weight. I consider being able to comfortably wear a shirt that did not fit be before a non-scale victory, and this week I need to look for those to keep myself on track.

Yesterday was a very good day for achievements. I worked out, I resisted all temptation at the sports bar, and I stuck to my meal plan religiously. What do I get for that? The opportunity to do it all over again today, except today I’ll be going to Eduardo’s to watch the second semi-final match between France and Morocco. I should be able to resist the temptation to eat whatever he tries to put in front of me, as long as I eat my lunch at home before I go over there. If I do that, then I can get there, light a cigar, and tell him ‘Sorry, I’ve already eaten.’ That is my plan.

I hope I can follow through. The days left in 2022 are dwindling, and with every cheat, so are my chances of achieving those two milestones that are so close and yet so far: The 300-pound mark, and the 100-pounds-lost mark. There is an old saying: Aim for the stars, and if you miss you can still hit the moon. Would it be so bad to lose only 95 pounds in the calendar year? Maybe not… as long as I can finish off that hundred by the 1-year anniversary of my embarking on the journey.

I should mention that while I seem despondent for not getting a reward for my weight management success, I did lose a significant amount of weight on the bathroom scale as of this morning. With a three-pound drop from yesterday, I am once again within spitting distance of best-weight-yet territory. I am also back to needing to drop less than four pounds of hitting the 300-pound milestone, and within nine pounds of hitting the 100-pounds-lost milestone. I am beginning to think that all of these might be doable again; I also know that if I do not stay focused and true to my weight management program, I will not be achieving my goals. That is key. Stay focused, stay true. That will be my mantra for the rest of the year.

While I did stay true to the program yesterday, I will mention that I had my last meal replacement shake much later than I am comfortable with. Following the end of my class, I sat outside and tried to smoke a cigar. I knew exactly how many cups of coffee I drank yesterday, and doubted I would be able to fall asleep quickly, so why not? I selected a cigar that turned out to not be enjoyable, so I put it down after fifteen minutes. I came into the apartment and made that last shake after 10:00pm, which is much later than usual for me. While it seems to have had no effect on my weight loss this morning (it is hard to imagine I would have lost even more weight for skipping it), I did wake up in the morning and was immediately hungry. For as long as I can remember, eating late at night has had that effect on me. It was not a debilitating, must eat now hunger, but it was a noticeable pang as I went through my morning ritual. More than anything, that is why I try to not eat after 8:30pm.

My plans for the day are simple: I am going to Eduardo’s condo to watch the football, and I do not want to go there hungry. I will prepare and eat my lunch (my only meal of the day) a little earlier than usual so that I know I will be fine for the afternoon. After the match, I have my next (and I think my last) session with my personal trainer at 5:00pm, which means that I will have to skip out from Eduardo’s pretty quickly to get there. Again, if the game goes to extra time, I will have to be mindful of the clock. Getting to the gym a few minutes late might not have the professional implications of arriving to class late, but it is disrespectful, and I try to be on time. Unlike with the Argentina match, if I have to leave early, it will not pain me.

If I can stay on the path for another few days, there is a good chance that I can get back into best-weight-ever territory by the weekend… and that is being very conservative. Really, I am less than a pound from that, and it is not uncommon for me to lose that in a day or two when I stick to the plan religiously. That is my goal… if I can actually get there in a day or two, then by Monday or Tuesday next week, I might be at the 300-pound milestone, which would give me just under two more weeks to get to that magical 100-pounds lost before New Years goal. As they say, hope is not a strategy. If I stick to my program for both food intake and exercise, then I can do it. If I do not, then I likely will not. I just have to keep going in the right direction and do my best.

I am still not sleeping as well as I would like. I have things going through my mind that I keep analyzing and over-analyzing and trying to keep them from overwhelming my mind is exhausting. The new mattress is comfortable, but it is not the bedding that is the problem. The problem is my life, and some parts of that are harder to keep controlled than others.

I am glad to see that my potential for contract work has gone up recently. I have another interview today, and I am hoping it goes well. There are a few contracts that I am still waiting on but should confirm shortly. If they do not, then I will be going into the holiday break with a great deal of uncertainty weighing on my mind. I am hoping that does not happen.

Okay, it is time to get back into a positive frame of mind so that I can go into that interview and wow them. After that, I will prepare my lunch so that I can then head over to Eduardo’s without worrying about being tempted.

Have a great day folks!

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