Losing a part of me

After another mostly good day on the program yesterday, I was secretly hoping that the bathroom scale would have me back into best-weight-ever territory. I had to settle for a .6 lbs. drop to tie my previous best, which was back over a month ago (November 11). Hopefully I can register another cheat-free day today (I actually did cheat yesterday because I was running late leaving Eduardo’s place and heading to the gym). Yes, that means I worked out (with my personal trainer, as well as a couple of kilometres on the treadmill).

I am still trying to achieve my goal of losing one hundred pounds in 2022. I said yesterday that when you shoot for the stars, if you fall short then you can still hit the moon. Leaving aside for the moment the myriad other celestial bodies between here and there, I have almost ignored that between where I am now and that one-hundred-pound mark there is another major milestone. Even if I do not achieve that one in 2022, I really want to get below the three hundred pounds mark; I am only three pounds shy of that right now, and I have sixteen days to achieve it. Absent other factors, I might be planning a steak dinner celebration for dropping below that mark. Not this time, folks… not with there being only five pounds between that milestone, and the one-hundred-pounds-lost milestone. I may be refocusing my immediate short-term goals on the 300-pounds, but I am not forgetting that losing one hundred pounds in the calendar year is still an achievable goal… and would be that much harder if I were to indulge. A few weeks ago, I had plenty of leeway to veer from the program and still achieve these two goals. Right now, with just over two weeks left in the calendar year, I have zero room for mistakes.

With my new mattress in place, I should mention another non-scale victory that I have noticed over the last month or so, and not just today. Even when I was twenty pounds heavier, if I would sit on the end of my bed, it would pop the back of the bed up. With the design of the bedframe, the front wheels (which are a couple of feet behind the front) would act as a fulcrum, and my excessive weight would force the front of the bed down. That is not happening anymore, and I am happy for that. I can now sit on the front to put my socks and shoes on, which might in a small way prevent a recurrence of the damage that necessitated replacing the mattress in the first place. After all, it was not my lying in the middle of the bed that damaged the sides.

The weather today is horrible. Freezing rain for the morning, then snow… lots of it. I would like to stay home and not even walk outside for a minute, but at the same time I feel my throat is bothering me a little, and knowing that I have to teach this evening, I really should stock up on lozenges. I might bite the bullet and run out to the pharmacy before it gets too bad. As it stands, Princess Sophie has now twice stood in the frame of the front door, looked at the weather, and refused to go outside. Fortunately, her bladder is as strong as her resolve, and has never had an accident yet (when she was not sick). Now the question of the day is simple: To go to the druggist, or to suffer through this evening with no lozenges. Stay tuned.

Because I was running late yesterday (the traffic from Eduardo’s to the gym was lousy) I did not get to do as much pre-workout warming up/stretching as I would have liked. Fortunately, at my age it is clear that things that I once took for granted can now be considered exercise. These include the getting up from a seated position without using my hands, and the getting into and out of the car stretches. Yes, I am feeling my age these days. The workout yesterday was not painful, but some of the exercises reminded me that I am middle aged, overweight, and out of shape. I am working on all of that… or at least on two out of three. I am not sure what I can do to not be middle aged anymore.

I have my weekly check-in with my diet buddy this afternoon. The only thing I can say that is better than last week is that my weight is down. My mood and situation have not improved much, and if anything, things are worse now than they were then. I know I should not be so affected by outside factors, but it is hard. I am trying to stay positive, hoping that the current situation is just temporary, and that things will get better. I hope that things will get better. I am praying that things will get better. Most importantly, I am trying to work on bettering myself so that things have a better chance of getting better.

Okay, I should not put it off any longer, as the driving conditions are not getting any better between now and class time. I’ll venture out, praising my snow tyres the whole time.

Have a great day folks!