Losing a part of me

Holy wow! If you told me on January 20, 2022, that I would still be working at this nearly twenty months later I do not know if I would have believed you. If you had told me that twenty months later I would be at my best weight ever – nearly 150 lbs. down – then I would have been thrilled. Had you told me that it would take me 20 months to drop that weight, and that I would still be on the program… well, I do not know what I would have said. This has been a very challenging journey replete with struggles, hardships, and myriad ups and downs… not only with my weight but also my emotions.

With that said, I was disappointed to see a huge jump on the bathroom scale this morning. I was disappointed to be back to (but not above) 250.0 lbs. after two days below it. Maybe I do need to exercise every single day in order to stay below that. It is also possible that the one cheat that I have been allowing myself during my two weeks of no cheating (a couple of ounces of the shredded cheese that is always on hand to put into my omelette can find their way into my mouth if I am truly struggling later in the day) is something that I can only allow myself when I have exercised.

One thing that I should mention is that I have once again not moved my bowels for a couple of days, and that is probably a factor as well. I am not saying that if I had been successful this morning that my weight would not have been slightly up from yesterday, but it is possible that instead of a .8 lb. jump it might have been half of that. I have been adding fibre to my meal replacements sparingly because I remember what happened a few months ago; I am going to bite the bullet on that and will add a couple of teaspoons of it every day to try to induce some semblance of regularity. Last night I was feeling that I might have been able to poop successfully, but I was in bed, and I felt that if I might be able to then, I would definitely be able to the next morning. Wrong. Lesson learned: Going forward, go when the urge strikes.

I mentioned to Leslie a couple of nights ago that I might consider taking my bathroom scale with me to California. Initially the idea was to help her, but as I struggle around these two major milestones (one of which I am still hoping to achieve by the time I get onto the plane a week from today) I am thinking that it would be a good idea for me as well. I have been saying that while we are in SoCal I will be more lax on my program than I have been these last few weeks; if I see the numbers up from the previous day I could adjust my eating accordingly. I have never in my life taken a bathroom scale with me on vacation (although I did take one with me when I moved to Japan, for all the good it did me). I have always been of the mindset that ‘I’m on vacation’ means that you can let yourself go and get back on track when you get home. I know now that I have used my mulligans; sure, I could do that… and then take two weeks to recover from whatever weight I might gain during the week. It would be a smarter plan to try to stay on track. I am not saying that I will stick to the program religiously, but I will also not be using the trip as an excuse to dive into large plates of deep-fried anything. I also know that Leslie does not want to stop her program, and it would be unfair to go nuts in front of her… or for that matter, even behind her back. It is settled then… as long as it can fit into my luggage, I will pack the bathroom scale and take it with me to California.

The weather this morning was wet but not entirely miserable. It was raining a little but not terribly… not enough that Her Floofness would not go out for a bit of a walk at least. She spent the afternoon yesterday with her friend Charlie at the neighbour’s house, so she likely went out for a couple of extra walks. I am afraid that the neighbour is not working from home today so that will not be an option. In addition to this morning’s abridged walk, I am reasonably sure that we will be stepping out during my lunch hour. That is not a bad thing… it will be good to get some steps in on this, my second of five straight days when exercising will be impossible to fit in.

My plan for the day is to not cheat at all. There will be no cheese. There was my omelette this morning, and there will be three meal replacements… as well as a pot of coffee and a lot of water. I do not mind running to the bathroom twelve times throughout the day; what I do mind is the thought that I might not drop back to my best weight ever over the next couple of days. At least I will have a relaxed evening on the balcony where I can video chat with my wife.

Have a great day folks!