I was in a bit of a funk yesterday and I ate more than I should have. I did not, however, eat nearly enough to account for the nearly four pound gain this morning. It could be the constipation… after nearly a week of horrible diarrhea, my bowels seem to have gone the other way. I am still a little gun shy to start taking fibre again, but we will see how I feel in a day or two.
Category: Cheating
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Day 885
It had been my plan to eat today to celebrate with my gorgeous doggie the five-year anniversary of her Adoption Day. As I drove home from Grimsby yesterday afternoon, I realized how weak I was, and decided to move our celebration up by a single day. I stopped at the supermarket and picked up veal chops and the vegetables to prepare a salad. I got home and put rice on to cook as well. While starchy, rice is known for fighting diarrhea, and after three days of it I was ready to try whatever might work. I enjoyed my veal and rice and salad, and Princess Sophie really enjoyed her bone. I was hoping that this morning I might find some solid solace… but I did not.
In addition to what I mentioned, I also bought a mango. I suspect it was this more than anything else that led to the two-pound jump in my weight from yesterday morning. I was not at all impressed by that jump… but I deserved it.
Despite my weight gain over these past two days, I am going to eat another meal today (minus the fruit). Four days of diarrhea is simply not good for the body, and I need to be able to healthily get through this coming week. Yes, her Royal Floofness will get another bone on the actual day of her Adoptiversary.
After losing 12.6 lbs. in just five days, I should not be terribly upset to give back 2.4 lbs. over the weekend. I just have to make sure that I continue on the downward trend, and not give up any unnecessary losses. I will eat because I think that right now it could be unhealthy to not eat anything… but I will not overindulge or eat the wrong foods. The rice is necessary, but the mango was not. I will not make that mistake again today.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 884
I was not feeling better at all yesterday, even though the start of the day was promising. I was happy to get through the day (although I did need to take a nap before class and thank G-d that I did!), and even got 7,300 steps in. That included a trip to the supermarket and dry cleaners. While my trip to the supermarket was for a specific reason, I did not get out entirely unscathed; I stopped at the bakery and bought a single roll, and when I got home, I toasted it and enjoyed it with avocado oil (a non-margarine spread) on one side, and grated cheese on the other. I ate this in place of one meal replacement. I am not sure, but I suspect that the carbs helped to settle the evil serotonin receptors in my stomach which have been wreaking havoc on my system these last few days.
This morning’s bowel movement was no better than any of the myriad BMs of the last couple of days. Nevertheless, I do feel that I am doing better today than I was Thursday or Friday. I am cautiously optimistic that I just might be on the other side of the worst of things. We’ll see.
Leslie and I had a lovely cigar date over the last three hours. What started out as a beautiful day turned, within the last fifteen minutes, into an extremely rainy storm. I was not expecting it, although the forecast did call for rain today. That rain is really coming down now.
It is now 1:20pm. I have had to sit on the potty once in the interim, but despite that I am feeling much better today than I did yesterday. My stomach is still feeling a little weak, but overall, I am feeling good. Yay! I think I can now say with confidence that while I might possibly not be completely better, I am certainly over the worst of it.
My weight was up by .4 lb. this morning. It is possible that is because of the roll that I broke down and purchased yesterday, but it is more likely due to the large quantity of Gatorade that I have ingested these past few days. While the drink is not high in calories, the sodium content is pretty high (270mg per bottle), and I remember Leslie telling me a few months ago that she was not losing weight when she drank it. If it is the sodium, then tomorrow or Monday I should see a significant loss as that is flushed from my system. I was not terribly put off by the slight gain, but it helps psychologically to know why it happened… and that the effects should only be temporary.
Yes, I bought an ate a roll yesterday. I am reasonably sure that the ill-effects of my withdrawal symptoms were exacerbated by the fact that there was no solid food in my stomach. Leslie told me that there are serotonin receptors in the stomach, and the food (especially the carbohydrates) would have mitigated at least some of those issues. I remember as a child my mother would always give me dry toast when I had stomach issues (especially diarrhea). Maybe there was something to that. No, I did not have the roll dry, but that’s another story. The fact that I only had a single roll with how I was feeling, and not more and worse foods, is a minor win.
I slept much better last night than I did the previous two, both because I did not have to get up several times to visit the bathroom and because the discomfort was much less. According to my fitness watch my sleep score was 82 (both with good balance, and a full 7h54 minutes), and my body battery was 43 when I woke up… which is still lousy, but it is still much higher than the 16 that I had yesterday morning. I am still going to take it easy today, but I might get onto the treadmill when I get home… I know that had I tried to exercise yesterday it would have been a total disaster.
I am nearly finished with my second meal replacement of the day. I am still feeling at least some need to sit on the toilet before I go out, but it is not as pressing as it was so many times yesterday. As I taught last night, I had to keep a ten-minute timer on standby so that if I needed to (as I did twice during my class) I could give the students a break without them not knowing when I would return. Were I teaching today I would be doing the same thing, but if things continue as they have, I doubt I will need to by the time Monday’s class starts.
I am going to drive to Grimsby this afternoon to pick up a shirt that I ordered. I am excited to see it – while I have a few items with Masonic logos on them, this will be the first that I have with my Lodge’s logo. It is very exciting! Yes, for someone who spent so many years essentially branded by Microsoft, and who later vowed to not be ‘logoed’ anymore, that is weird… but Freemasonry is different. I am not advertising a corporation but am instead proudly sporting the logo of a fraternal organization of which I am proud to be a member.
Okay, I am going to head out… after a quick (hopefully) stop on the potty. I look forward to no longer needing to plan every trip out of the house around unpredictable bowel movements. I hope that by the time I am back the rain will be in the rearview mirror and that I can once again enjoy relaxing on the balcony with a good book.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 873
Today was supposed to be my first full day back on the program, but I miscalculated, and so I ended up having chicken for lunch. The rest of my food intake has been and will be meal replacements. I also exercised today, doing 42 minutes on the treadmill (the first 28 minutes of which I jogged). I am happy to be back on track with that and hope that tomorrow morning the bathroom scale will reflect both the exercise and the dietary change.
I confess that yesterday my eating was quite naughty… twice. First, I decided to buy a roll to enjoy with my lunch. I knew that because of the timing of my doctor’s appointment that I would not be eating dinner, and so I decided to indulge. Secondly, after the Lodge meeting, the brethren assembled in the downstairs hall for what is apparently a seasonal tradition: ice cream with fresh Ontario strawberries. I should have declined but I did not. It is no wonder that this morning the bathroom scale showed my weight up by not quite a whole pound. After ten days (ish?) of overindulgence and almost no exercise, I am relieved that my weight has not peaked above 285… but it is close. I hope the next week or two will get me back on track.
I was surprised last night to discover that a good buddy came into town to see me for one night/one morning. After Lodge, we went back to Rob’s place and the three of us chatted as we smoked a cigar. This morning the two of them and one more buddy came by for a cigar. While I really should have been working, I had not seen David in a year, and he flew into town to surprise me. Yeah, he gets a morning… and a top-shelf cigar!
Have a great day folks!
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Day 872
I have not gained seven pounds in the last ten days because I completely fell off the wagon. It has been a combination of many factors that include stress, long work days with no ability to exercise, constipation, not drinking enough water, and yes… eating more than I should. I took a break from the program for the past week because my energy levels were completely tapped, and I needed to be able to get through very long work days successfully. Now is the question of starting back on it. I had a Lodge event on Saturday that had a lot of food involvement, and it would have been difficult for me to stick to the program. At the event I spoke with my mentor (who is on the same program as I am) and he recommended that I hold off resuming the program until Tuesday, knowing that I am getting promoted Monday night. As such, that is my plan. I am hoping that I can succeed.
I did not blog Saturday or Sunday, but neither was because I was gorging myself. I had a lot of things going on, and it slipped my mind. I am glad to be back at it this morning, and will try to continue to use it as a tool to remember to stay true to the program starting tomorrow. I did get back on the treadmill yesterday to exercise for the first time since last Saturday, and while I was worn out after 2km jogging and 2km walking, I felt better for having done it. I will resume my cadence of daily workouts, but I will not push myself quite so hard the first week of my program.
I have a doctor’s appointment at noon today. I have to discuss my medications with her, as well as a couple of other things. I also suspect that I am due for a complete physical, but I will ask her about that.
When I am home from that appointment I will have lunch, then I will hit the treadmill for an hour. I will shower then I will do some work before heading to the Lodge. My promotion is actually being held at another lodge, which means that this evening will also be my first ever visit to another lodge. At least twenty of my Lodge brethren have reached out to tell me they will be there to support me, which is really heartwarming. Of course, there are two of us from our lodge who are doing it together, so there’s twice the reason to come out to support us!
It is a cloudy day and a bit chilly for the second week of June, but at least it is not cold, rainy, or wintery. I’ll take it.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 868
Yesterday was a bad day. I ate too much chicken, and despite not eating anything after 3:30pm, I still gained a lot of weight this morning. I will try to get back on track today.
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Day 865
I fell off the rails yesterday and I paid the price. I gained a full two pounds this morning. Ouch.
As I spoke with my wife last night, she helped me to remember that I have really been pushing myself way past my limits since I started, and my body really needed a break. She was more concerned that I might not get back onto the program, but I assured her that I would.
Because of how weak I felt Saturday evening and all day yesterday, I decided that to make sure I was able to get through this extremely grueling work week I would switch to my modified program. Yesterday may have been a cheat day, but today I have done exactly as planned: I had an omelette for breakfast, chicken and salad for lunch, and before my evening class I prepared a meal replacement shake. I received my delivery from the company today, and they were the new formula. I was worried about it, but they are actually pretty good. I will be able to continue with them. In the meantime, this week will be the modified program.
If I can just get through to the weekend then I can reevaluate my position. I am hoping that I will be able to shed these three pounds that I gained over the last two days, but I do not expect to lose much more than that this week. I am working all day (and three nights) so I will not be doing a lot of movement. Getting back to where I was Saturday would be a victory.
Have a great evening folks!
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Day 861
Yesterday’s run was the best I have done in a while. I successfully jogged five kilometres at 4.3mph (which still is registering at between 8m56s and 9m12s per kilometre) and then a last kilometre walking at 3.5mph. All told it was 6km in 59m40s according to my fitness watch. I do not know if I will be able to beat that today, but my next workout goal is to be able to register 6km jogging.
I still find myself relying on almonds to supplement my meal replacements. I have been way too informal about how I eat them and am going to start measuring them out. One ounce of almonds contains 170 calories, 5g of carbohydrates, 6g of protein, and 15g of fat. That is a reasonable portion. What I have been eating in a day is probably closer to four portions (having finally taken the time to do the calculations), and I am done with that. The problem is that I do not think I would consider one ounce of almonds to be a satisfying portion. What I will do instead, considering the mental side of things, is I will start eating up to a single protein bar when I need it, and hopefully not every day. The nutritional value of the bars that I have (and really like) are: 190 calories, 14g of carbohydrates, 15g of protein, and 8g of fat. While they are higher in carbs than I would like, I feel that they are quite satisfying as a single portion. They are also properly portioned, so I do not have to worry about that.
One day I will have the mental fortitude and discipline to eat only what I am supposed to eat. When that day comes, I will be able to freely buy large bags of almonds and keep them in the house without fear of overindulging. At least I am self-aware enough to know that day is not here yet… and the packaged protein bars are what I am allowed to eat.
I had a bit of a fight with the bathroom scale this morning. I stepped onto it and saw that my weight was up by .4 lb. Hmph. I then went to the washroom and tried to pee, but only a couple of drops came. Oh well. I then stepped back onto the bathroom scale and found that my weight was down .4 lb. from yesterday, or .8 lb. from thirty seconds and six drops of pee ago. I cleared the scale and stepped back onto the scale, and that same weight registered. Okay, I’ll take it. I would not have been terribly upset if, after seven straight days of weight loss (including a single day of no loss), my weight had gone up a little; after all, how many times have I written in this journal that success is not about individual plots on a graph, but rather on the overall downward trend?
I am thrilled and grateful that I was actually able to order more shakes from the company. For whatever reason, they can only be purchased with a code from a doctor. That is one of the reasons I have been buying my shakes ‘on the black market’ so to speak. The person I bought shakes from last week stopped the program because she is pregnant, and she offered to share her code with me. I did not know if it would work but I decided to try it anyways. Lo and behold, I now have a month’s worth of shakes coming tomorrow! I am quite thrilled by that… yes, it is the little things that bring us joy.
Okay, it is time to get my day going. I am going to chat with my wife for a while, and then I am going to get onto the treadmill. Later in the afternoon I have a buddy coming over for a chat.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 859
I made a huge miscalculation yesterday that could have gone badly. Fortunately, I think things worked out. At around 11:15am I wrote in my journal that I was ready to start my workout. That is not what happened. I ended up answering some emails including questions from my students (that were somehow asked of the customer service desk, so I got them third hand, and still needed (or wanted) to answer them before class), as well as a number of emails to a couple of different consulates. By the time I actually started my workout, it was a few minutes after 12pm. The problem with that is that I had taken my morning shake at around 8:30am, which means I was nearing the four-hour mark since I’d eaten and should probably have prepared my second shake before working out. Not thinking, I figured I’d be fine.
I jogged 4km at a quicker pace than previous – I upped it from 4 to 4.3mph, which brought me down to about 8m50/km. From there I dropped to a brisk walk (3.5mph) for another fourteen minutes or so. My total distance was 4.83km in 50 minutes. Great. The problem was that I was so drained of energy that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get undressed, let alone make it to the shower,
I managed to do all of that, but before I got dressed, I prepared my second shake. I was still completely shot after that and made the decision that I needed to go to the store to pick up some almonds. This was both a good and a bad decision. It was good because I definitely needed more energy. It was completely stupid because when you are in that state of mind, everything is a temptation. There is a saying that you should never do your grocery shopping when you are hungry, and I know that to be true. As I walked by the sushi counter, past the bakery, and then on my way out past the prepared food and soup counters I knew how easy it would be to just have a nip. Driving home with the bag of almonds open next to me I was still thinking that maybe I should just switch to my ‘adjusted’ program, where I have one full meal per day. Would that be so bad? I seem to recall doing pretty well on that…
Not yet Mitch! It was just yesterday that I wrote about how much time it took to lose the weight, and how easily and quickly I put it all back on. I need to be mindful, and I need to be focused. I bought the usual serving of almonds, and I ran off to the car. When the thought about the roasted chicken I could be making for myself, I was relieved knowing that I had left the store, and that I do not have any of it in the house.
I had a video date with Leslie when I got back from the store, but I was really weak and a bit lightheaded. I decided that if I was going to make it through my class in the evening then I needed to rest, so I got into bed, set my alarm, and took a nap for an hour. Phew! I made it through the class, and the day ended well. I was still asleep earlier than I normally would be, but Leslie understood. Princess Sophie even joined me on the bed for an hour before returning to her own bed.
This morning was the first day that I did not lose any weight. It is a day later than I had anticipated, and I am fine with it. It is the second day in a row that I am not able to cross a number off on my fridge chart and knowing that I am a single down-day away from that is a bit teasing. At 280.2 lbs., the next day that I drop any weight will have me down to my second ‘decade’ – the 10-pound delineations – as well as that fridge chart mark. It would have been nice to hit them both this morning, but it will also be nice to hit it tomorrow morning.
This morning, I am going to go to pick up my dry cleaning, as well as milk for my coffee. I realized only after I got home yesterday that I was running low, but it worked out well because in the state that my mind and body were in yesterday afternoon, it would have been a bad idea to have to walk through the supermarket. I have little doubt that I would have caved to temptation. I am now feeling much stronger. As I type this, I am finishing my morning meal replacement (and first cup of coffee) so if I go immediately after then I will be sated and strong. There are three things on my shopping list for the trip: Milk, one emergency stash of almonds (which I will keep in the car so as to not be close at hand when I get hungry), and my dry cleaning. That’s it.
I have a couple of friends coming over today for different reasons and at different times, and both of them will be sitting on the balcony with me enjoying a cigar. One of them is starting the same program that I am on through the same clinic that I first did it with today, so I will be giving him a lot more advice than he will be giving me (as he is my mentor for Freemasonry it is usually the inverse). If I head out now, then I will be able to fit a workout in before my first buddy comes, so I’m going to hit the road.
Have a great day folks!
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Day 856
While yesterday was Day 3 of my renewed program, it was the first day that I did not cheat. Okay, that is a harsh word… when dropping from over 2000 calories per day to 900 calories per day, a handful of almonds is not a cheat so much as it is an assist to get through the day. Think of it like training wheels for the first couple of days. However we might think of them, I did not have any yesterday, and so including the milk and sugar that I add to my coffee my total caloric intake yesterday was about 940. I was tired, but I made it through the day.
Yesterday’s exercise was even better than the two previous days, even though I cannot completely account for it. At a certain point during the workout I must have smacked my fitness watch against the handrail of the treadmill and it stopped tracking. I lost about seven minutes of tracking before I noticed it. No harm, right? I know that I jogged the complete four kilometres (at 4mph, about 9m15s per kilometre) before pulling up and walking briskly for another twenty-three minutes. The total workout was one hour long, and it felt amazing. I am hoping that today or tomorrow I will be able to push that to a full hour of jogging, but I am not going to push myself too hard… I don’t want to strain anything! As it is, my back has been feeling the effects of the drastic increase in activity, and I am happy that my shower has a massage setting on it.
Leslie may have been joking that I just have to look at a meal replacement to lose weight, but the first three days of my program have been no joke! My weight has dropped over 8 lbs. since Wednesday morning, and that is encouraging me to keep going and to keep doing better. That is one of the reasons I did not step out to buy a handful of almonds yesterday. I know that the first week’s rate of loss will not continue past that, but it is still amazing to be able to drop so much at the beginning of the program. I know that despite the current trend suggesting otherwise, I will not be dropping fifty pounds in a month… but if I could drop twenty-five pounds in the first month then I will be a very happy man! Fifty… it took me three months to lose that at the beginning of the program, and I had much more fat on me at the time. If I could get down to my best weight ever by September or October then I will be thrilled.
It is a rainy day today, but I decided to sit outside to write anyways. I am not sure if Leslie and I will have a cigar date this morning, but if we don’t then most likely this afternoon or evening we will. I am taking my son the younger for lunch, and that will be my first real challenge of the program. I will tell him that my stomach has been bothering me and that’s why I am not eating. I do not like lying to him, but it is easier than explaining this crazy program.
Okay, it looks like Leslie and I will be chatting so I’ll close here.
Have a great day folks!
