Losing a part of me

Category: Dog

  • Day 205

    After five days of stagnation, the numbers on my bathroom scale were tremendous this morning. I saw a monster 2.6-pound drop from yesterday, taking me to my lowest weight! On the one hand, it is probably an aberration, and tomorrow it will correct itself up a bit. On the other hand, woohoo! I love seeing those numbers… and being able to demonstrate that what I am doing on my weight management program is working is huge for me.

    After four days of not walking, I will be back on the trails todayI I think I mentioned the other day that I plan to substitute my regular chicken (or fish) for a nice juicy steak for lunch today, as an occasional (very occasional) treat to relieve the monotony. While that is great, I still know that I will be paying for that transgression tomorrow (and subsequent days) if I do not work it off, starting immediately. So the steak will be my lunch, and then after teaching this afternoon I will hit the road, hoping to work up a good sweat. It would be nice if I can get 8km in, but I am not promising myself anything beyond suiting up and getting out there. I still feel a slight sensitivity, which I suspect is all in my head. If I detect it returning and getting worse, not only will I cut my workout short, I will also take a trip to the walk-in clinic to have it looked at. I am assuming that it is nothing… but if it is truly something, then there is only one thing that I can think of, and I do not want to think about that.

    My buddy Etienne, a fellow cigar sommelier from the North Shore of Montreal, came in yesterday afternoon. We shared a couple of very nice cigars on my balcony, but at the back of my mind I was thinking to myself that if he was going to spend the night on my couch, I was going to have to speak with him about food. I was concerned that if he wanted to go out for dinner (or order in) that I would be tempted.

    I told him that I did not have anything in the house, but that we could order in or go out. In the end, we opted to go to Fortino’s (supermarket) which has great prepared food options. He picked up a couple of slices of pizza; I picked up coffee beans (I had run out), my steak for today, and four (yes, only four) slices of dried mango. It is a shame that the dried mango you buy in the large bags (at Costco and elsewhere) is so much better than what you can buy at the bulk foods section of the supermarket, but I was not going to risk having that ambrosia in the house as a constant temptation. I ate them as Etienne enjoyed his pizza. Princess Sophie looked at him, then at me, and then decided to sit at his feet, having decided that the dried mango was nowhere near as delicious as the pizza.

    Speaking of Her Floofness, we did not sleep very well last night. We got to bed early enough, after a third walk of the evening. Because Etienne was sleeping on the couch, I closed the bedroom door when we went into the room. Sophie almost always gets onto the bed, and stays there the whole night. However, it would seem, she is comforted by the open bedroom door, and the potential for her to roam the entire apartment. It took her a very long time to get settled, twice going down from the bed and barking (very softly) at the door. Despite being in bed earlier than I had been in weeks (or months), I do not think I was asleep before 1:30am… and her unease woke me at least three times throughout the night. Needless to say, I hope to sleep much better tonight.

    —

    THIS JUST IN! STOP THE PRESSES!

    I was wearing a pair of pants yesterday and I realized that when I tightened the belt to hold them up, the top of the waist folded over the belt. This, for those of you who have never been really fat and then lost a lot of weight, is an indicator that the pants might be too big, and are being held up by a too-tight belt. At the same time, I knew that it was less than two months ago that I dropped comfortably and completely from Size-44 to Size-42 pants, and so I doubted I was ready to drop another size that fast.

    Nonetheless, this morning I decided (halfway through this entry) to pull out the bin of Size-40 pants. On the top of the pile was a pair of Dockers (which are, in theory, the same pants I wore yesterday). I held them up by the waist, and they looked… small. I tried them on anyways… not only did they go on, they fastened comfortably!

    I did not have time this morning to try on any other pair, and it is entirely possible that this is a larger Size-40. This evening, I will try on the rest of them (while on video call with Leslie), and I will see what I can start wearing. If there are more than two pair, then all of my Size-42 pants are being donated.

    Dropping pounds is great, but even a huge drop like I experienced today may show on the scale, but you still do not look smaller from one day (or even one week) to the next. The biggest indicator of success in weight loss is how your clothes fit, and dropping from a higher size to a lower size is big, huge, flashing neon sign non-scale victory, and a true bellwether that what I have been doing is working.

    Of all of the bins of clothes that I separated out early this year, the heaviest was the smaller sizes. Why? When I weigh less, I want to look better, so I buy better clothes… and more of them. During the summer of 2020 I bought several pair of pants, as well as lots of shirts. I am excited that this evening I will be trying those on, and while some of them will stay in the bin (I am sure that a lot of my XL shirts will not fit yet), I am hopeful that several pair of pants will be moved onto my shelves, and the bin will get a whole lot lighter.

    Today is going to be a good day. Despite my fatigue (thanks Princess), I am now invigorated and excited to get on with the day. I frankly wish my class was canceled so that I could spend the day walking and jogging. Of course, I cannot do that, but as long as I stay the course – my meal at lunch, my long fitness walk in the evening, my meal replacements, and no cheating – then I can continue to see results.

    Have a great day folks!

  • The Hairs on My Chinny Chin Chin!

    A few days ago, Leslie and I were chatting about my progress. She had looked at my before picture, and told me that I hardly look like the same person. She then pulled up a picture that we took on our first date, and told me how much slimmer my face is today than it was just ten months ago. I was thrilled that Leslie sees such a difference, and take it as an honest measure of my progress.

    She and I joke a lot that my beard is especially good for stroking as I think, and this morning I was thinking about something, stroking my beard as I do. I realized that something was missing… the rolls of fat under my beard that once made me look like I had several chins. It is not all gone, of course… I have over a hundred pounds to go before I reach my goal of being just overweight and not obese. There is no way that I could expect any body part to not have some fat, and I accept that.

    In order to stay motivated, we look for non-scale victories, and this is a big one for me. I am really happy with it, and will continue to look for them… and work toward them, because there is no way that any of them will happen on their own. I have to continue to eat right. I have to continue to exercise. I have to stay on track and keep my eyes on the prize. Only by doing that will these non-scale victories come… and eventually not only transition from morbidly obese to obese, but then to overweight, and eventually – one day – to healthy body type!

    I posted earlier that I was thrilled last night to see muscle definition in my legs, and that is a real non-scale victory that comes from the combination of weight-loss and exercise. Unless there has been a discovery that I am not aware of, there are no exercises one can do to lose weight in your face and neck, which means that progress is based solely on the weight loss.

    When I first tried to lose weight nearly twenty years ago, I went to Weight Watchers. One of the tools they liked to use was to show what certain weight loss milestones meant. A pound was demonstrated by showing a pound of butter. Ten pounds was a large bag of flour… and so on. It is not as easy to visualize what seventy pounds looks like. I did a quick image search on-line, and did not really find anything suitable. Then I searched ’70-pound dog images’ and came up with Labrador Retrievers, Boxers, and Bulldogs. Imagine that I have lost the equivalent of one of those.

    With that said, if you want to know what it feels like on my body to be that much slimmer, try this: Pick up a seventy-pound Labrador Retriever. If he or she is amenable, put him or her into a backpack. Go for a walk. Then put the doggie down gently, give them plenty of treats for cooperating, and walk back to where you started from. You feel it? That’s what it is like to lose that kind of weight.

    My children have a German Sheppard named Thor who weighs 95-pounds. I still have to lose a little more than Thor’s body weight before I am slim, but I have made progress, and recognizing that is one of the best ways to continue on the right path. Having a loving and supportive wife who stands by me and encourages me is another, and likely more important than everything else.

    Of course, my doggie, Her Royal Floofness, Princess Sophie, weighs in at a whopping sixteen pounds. Since July 11 (a little under four weeks ago), I have lost her body weight. As such she maybe a wonderful companion and a terrific friend, but when it comes to substantial weight loss, her body weight is not really an indicator of significant progress. I would be remiss, however, to discuss dogs without mentioning the best dog.

    I have a long way to go, but I am on the right track. The only way to measure success is with scales and measuring tapes, along with the size of my clothes. With that said, the best way to continue achieving success in those measurables is for me to see progress in my non-scale victories.

  • Day 198

    I do not know if I could have gotten this far into my weight loss journey without the love and support of a good woman. The fact that she understands my struggles is a huge relief, and has gotten me through many hard days.

    Yesterday evening I wrote an entry that began with four paragraphs of how I was going to pick up a whole lot of really unhealthy foods for dinner. It was a dream sequence, and when that sequence was completed, I decided to space it so that the next line (‘WAKE UP, MITCH! You were dreaming! ‘) would be off the bottom of the page for most readers. I wanted the reader to feel that this was real… as real as the temptation was in me.

    When we sat down for our date, Leslie told me that I had her going, and that while she was reading it… let’s just say that she was not impressed. I told her that I did not write it as a ruse or a joke, but rather as a demonstration that while my goal is to change my unhealthy relationship with food… I am nowhere near achieving that goal. It would have been as easy for me to pick up the Chinese food and Buffalo wings as it was for me to go for my walk. Easier, in fact, because it would have required no pain, endurance, or dedication… only my credit card.

    My walking and weight management routines are still in their nascent stage, and nowhere near habitual. While I do not wake up every morning salivating over the thought of French toast drowning in Quebec maple syrup, I also am not at the point where I am addicted to my exercising. I also know that it would not take much to push me back into my old habits. Even if I were able to curtail the overeating, I would still be indulging in unhealthy foods (mostly take-out) on a daily basis. Otherwise, I might be eating only my own cooking… but eating three large meals per day. The more likely scenario is that I would be overeating a combination of my own foods and the unhealthy take-out… and that only because restaurants do get expensive, and I am not made of money.

    I do not want any of that to happen. I know that I still have a few things I will need to cut out when my current weight loss plateaus. My one meal is larger than it needs to be, and I could cut it down. I will eventually have to cut out milk in my coffee, and sugar or sweetener as well. With regard to food intake, those are currently the only things that are I might cut out if I wanted to speed things up. Yes, I could stop adding pumpkin seeds to my salad, and fewer tomatoes and onions (which are both high in sugar), but that is it.

    As I discussed with Leslie yesterday, there will be days when my weight is up (as it was yesterday), but the science is clear that if I stick with my current regimen of food and exercise, there is no way for me to not lose weight. Before I was ever introduced to my current (rather extreme) program, everyone told me that a 1,500-calorie diet would be an extreme but effective way for me to lose weight. Well guess what? I am not consuming that many calories in a day. No, I am not on the 900-calorie regimen that the full-on program calls for (four meal replacements, nothing else), but I have done that twice, and both times I succeeded until I failed. Thank you, I will do my modified program that is less extreme, but hopefully will show longer-lasting results.

    It is quite the relief that Princess Sophie is feeling better. Last night was the second in a row that she slept through the night; this morning she had her second solid and healthy bowel movement. I am relieved that whatever she was afflicted with is behind her. She had a half-day play date with Charlie yesterday, and I suspect she will be with him all day today at our neighbour Sue’s house. Every loving dog parent wants their fur-babies to be happy and healthy; the five days when she was not were not fun, not because I had to clean up several poop accidents in the kitchen (although there was nothing fun about that), and not because she got me out of bed in the middle of the night (when she did let me sleep at all), but mostly because I hated seeing her unhappy. She is a very proud pup, and I know that she was embarrassed by her needs and by her weakness. I can see it in her eyes that she is relieved to be feeling better.

    My plan for the day is no different from yesterday. My fitness watch has a sliding scale for daily step goals, which I believe is based on your average steps for the last week. Today’s goal is 11,540, and judging by my performance this week I should not have any trouble achieving that. I am going to set a goal though… I have since Monday walked 31.75km, averaging just under 8km per day. I am going to aim for a fifty-five-kilometre goal from Monday through Sunday. To achieve that, all I have to do is average 8 km per day, which is really my baseline now anyways. The challenge is getting out there to do it… and that despite whatever the weather may be. Today will likely be my easiest day – the forecast high is 26° (79°F), and the only rain forecast is before noon. Tomorrow the forecast is mostly sunny with a high of 31°C (88°F), with Sunday being slightly higher, and with a 50% chance or rain. So as long as I am willing to brave the elements, I can achieve that goal.

    I tried to find a reasonably flight to Dallas over the next few days, but last-minute inexpensive flights are very hard to come by. I miss Leslie terribly, and really wish I could be with her.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 197

    It could not last forever. After a seven-day streak of my weight dropping (by nearly six pounds), this morning it was up… and rather significantly, if not disastrously. Yesterday morning the numbers were flirting with crossing a major milestone, which this morning is a full two-pounds away. I know I will get there in the next few days, but my hopes of crossing below 325-pounds this morning were dashed, and I am now a full two pounds from that goal. Tomorrow is another day, right?

    There is a tendency that I remember from my first ever true attempt at weight loss, maybe eighteen years ago. It was not uncommon for me to cheat on a particular day, see no ill-effects the following day, and then see weight gain on the second day. Likewise, if I had a really good day, I might not see weight loss the next day, but the day after I would drop.

    All this to say, I am wondering if the numbers on the scale this morning might be reflecting the bag of popcorn I ate on Tuesday. It probably is not, but it will be interesting to watch for going forward. I know that I has very good yesterday, and my only cheat was a Japanese biscuit after lunch. That was followed by a seven-kilometre walk that saw my fastest cadence (steps per minute) recorded yet.

    I am thrilled that Princess Sophie had, for the first time since Saturday, a solid bowel movement this morning… after sleeping through the night for the first time in that time. Her Mommy and I have been very worried about her, and I was planning to take her to the vet on Saturday if she was not better by then. I am still going to keep a close eye on her for the next few days, but I am hoping she is better. I will say that she had a helluva romp this morning, first with her friend Charlie, and a few minutes later with Lewis and Louis. While she has not lost her playfulness in these last few days, I still see it as a good sign.

    I had another wonderful video date with my wife last night. She is such a wonderful woman, and I am really not liking this long-distance thing. When I am down there in a few weeks, we are going to have a serious discussion about how to remedy that as quickly as possible. Because of the immigration issue, it will not be overnight… but however quickly it can be, we both really want to be together. I love that I can see her every night, but I hate that I cannot hold her in my arms. It is time to figure out the ultimate solution so that we can be together forever.

    My plans for the day are to stay the course. With the exception of the popcorn the other day, I have been good, and the results have been obvious. I am currently three kilograms slimmer than I was on my last official weigh-in day, which is far and away the best two-week loss I have had since I started getting weighed at the doctor’s office. Of course, owing to my teaching schedule I will not be back for another weigh-in until August 24, which is nearly three-weeks from today. I am hoping that in that time I can lose another three kilos, and hear the doctor say to me ‘Is this right?’ He has known me for fifteen years and knows that I can achieve anything I set my mind to; he has also seen me stagnate, and he has certainly seen me falter a number of times. He is a nice guy, but I am not trying to make him happy; I want him to be impressed because of my success, I do not want to succeed to impress him.

    While my heel is reminding me that I might want to change out my footwork, I am not feeling any other ill effects of my working out. That includes my ankle, which did not seem to bother me when I took Her Floofness for her walk this morning. I note that for two reasons. The first of which is the obvious and immediate… yes, I am feeling better, and I can plan for a good walk this afternoon and not have to worry about taking time off for injury.

    The other reason is because I remember back to my first few walks, and then to the first few where I pushed myself. After all of those, I would come home and nearly collapse in place, avoiding falling into bed only because I was disgustingly sweaty. The following day, I would feel my muscles aching with the reminder that they were not used to being used, and needed time to heal. While I certainly can feel in my leg muscles that they are recovering from the walk, I am raring to go for another one this afternoon after class. That is a sure sign of real progress, and a real non-scale victory.

    Adding to that NSV is the fact that I am walking better. I do not mean when I am pushing myself to exercise, rather when I am walking down the street, taking Princess Sophie for a walk, or whatever. Even walking through the supermarket, I feel lighter. It is, frankly, exhilarating. The phrase ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet’ comes to mind, knowing that as I continue to lose weight, my stride will continue to improve.

    It is good for me, on days when I am disappointed by the numbers on my scale, to remember how far I have come, and how sluggish I was just seven months ago. Forget that, just a couple of months ago I was still strides behind where I am today. For reasons I cannot recall, the other night I reached down between my legs from behind with one arm, and was able to clasp my hands through my legs… without my enormous belly getting in the way, and without the pains of ‘fat bodies do not move like that!’

    Don’t get me wrong… according to the numbers, I am still morbidly obese. Hell, according to what I see in the mirror, forgetting the numbers. According to the charts I look at online, I am still a good twenty-five pounds away from a promotion from morbidly obese to simply obese. According to those same charts, I am roughly one hundred pounds from simply being overweight. Those numbers are daunting, but they are also the goals that I am setting for myself.

    If it sounds like I am getting down on myself, let me assure you that I am not. I am being realistic and using that to encourage myself to keep going. I will not lose one hundred pounds in this calendar year – that is simply not realistic, and if it is, there is no healthy way to do so… at least, without surgery (either stomach surgery or limb amputation). However, rather than saying ‘It has to be done this year’ I say ‘I want to do it, I am committed to doing it, and I am willing to be patient with my progress knowing that I am doing the best that I can.’

    So, what is realistic for this calendar year? We are in the eighth month, and I am 7.5 months into my weight loss journey. I have lost nearly seventy pounds in that time. Another seventy pounds is not realistic… but would it be doable to lose another forty pounds in the remaining months of the year? That would take my weight loss to about 110-pounds, and would bring my weight down well below the 300-pound mark. That is possible. Now, if I stick with my regimen, it is possible that I could lose even more… but I am not going to get myself excited and set myself up for failure. Yes, it would be nice to get down to 260lbs, but doing that by the end of this year – or even by Day 365 (January 19, 2023) is a lofty goal. I will get there… but I will get there when I get there.

    Leslie and I had a conversation last night about my weight loss that resonated with me. She has been encouraging me to lose the weight, but at the same time, I know that she was attracted to me when I was at my heaviest. She made it clear last night (although not for the first time) that she wants me to lose the weight because she wants me to be healthy, because she wants to spend as many years as possible with me. I want that too. I want to be able to live a long and healthy life with her, and losing weight (and getting back into shape) is a huge part of that. I do not want to find myself ten years from today with a pacemaker and a bland diet that is medically prescribed lest I drop dead of another heart attack. I want to live a long life with her… and I want to be able to eat whatever I want!

    Over the weekend my friend Eduardo is coming over for a cigar, and I am going to ask him to take a picture of me exactly where and how I was standing when we took the ‘before’ picture on the day I started this journey. I look in the mirror today and I still see a fat man, but with all of the progress I know I have made, I am looking forward to seeing those two pictures side-by-side. Yes, I will post the two on my blog for the world to see… but I am not doing it for them. Leslie sees my progress, and it is easy to see so many ways that I have improved these last seven months. It is important for me to stop seeing myself as a fat man, and start recognizing the huge improvements I have made… even on days when I cannot see positive changes from day to day.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 196

    While the popcorn yesterday was not a great idea, I am happy that it did not seem to hinder my weight loss progress. I am down sixteen pounds from the day I flew from Dallas to Toronto, and ten pounds down since my birthday. On that measure, it is important to know that in the week following my birthday I actually gained five pounds, so the loss is even more meaningful.

    Her Royal Floofness is still not at 100%, but she seems to be getting better. Two other dog parents today said that if she is under the weather, she is hiding it very well. She is playful and active and happy… and has diarrhea. Even after we went out right before bed at 11:30pm, she asked to go out again two hours later, which interrupts my sleep but it also limits the amount of cleaning soft poop off the floor I have to. It also gives my girl the dignity of not having to have accidents in the house. If this persists for another day or two, we will go see the vet to make sure it is nothing serious.

    It is intriguing to me that I was able to walk nine kilometres yesterday without issue, but when I took her out (four times through the evening and night) my ankle was hurting. It is something I will have to pay attention to for the next little while. I do not want to stop walking, but at the same time I do not want to damage my ankle to the point where I have to stop walking.

    My class went well yesterday. I am really enjoying working with this group, and hope that the company is impressed enough to keep me on their roll of trainers to reuse. If I can continue to prove myself useful to these companies, I will be able to continue to earn a decent living doing something that I really enjoy.

    Have I mentioned how much I love my wife, and how badly I miss her? According to my countdown app, in twenty-one days, eleven and a half hours I will be disembarking the airplane in Dallas, and once I collect my luggage we will be together again. Really, the long-distance thing is not working for me. We have to find a way to be together permanently… and we will. In the meantime: in anticipation of my upcoming visit with her, I ordered a case of meal replacements to her place. Yes, I could shlep the shake packets from here to there when I visit, but that is counterproductive for a number of reasons. For one, I will eventually (as I did the last visit) forget to bring them, which will mean I have to break my routine. As well, buying them in Canada requires underground transactions on the grey market, whereas in the US I buy them off eBay… and I never have to worry about them being expired.

    Yes, it is true… despite the fact that I will be ‘on vacation’ while I am there, I plan to stay true to the program. Losing weight is hard, but establishing good habits is harder. What is easy is falling out of those good habits back into an old and unhealthy routine. Do you want to know how demoralizing it is knowing that because of just a couple of tiny mistakes that snowballed, I went from 260-pounds in September, 2020 to 395-pounds in January, 2022? How about knowing that I have fallen like that not once, but twice? Were it not for the love of a wonderful woman, I do not know if I ever would have been brave enough to try again.

    Yes, those are the numbers. That was my highest weight in January of this year… 196-days ago. Since then, I have not done everything I can and stayed true to the program, but I have lost a tremendous amount of weight. I am about seventy pounds down from my worst weight. At the same time, I am about sixty-five pounds up from my lowest (best) weight which was twenty-three months ago. I have a long way to go until I get there, but I am committed to getting back there… and then to losing even more. I want my wife to see what I look like slim, not from pictures of me in my early twenties, but in her arms. Two hundred and sixty pounds is not slim, it is slimmer… and I have to take one step at a time. It would be great to reach my goal of being actually slim by my fifty-first birthday, which gives me eleven months to lose another 115-pounds. I might need longer, but I have to keep trying to keep at it, lest I fall off again and end up where I was again. I cannot think about that… it is too depressing, and just the thought induces anxiety.

    Today will be a chicken day; I went shopping yesterday, so I have enough chicken and vegetables to last me a few days. Yesterday I decided to shake things up a little, using a fat-free salad dressing in place of the usual oil and balsamic vinegar that I usually dress my salads with. It was good, and I lost weight, so I might do that again today. We will see!

    Environment Canada has issued a special weather statement warning that the temperatures will be extremely high for the next couple of days, with daytime high temperatures reaching 33°C, and the humidex reaching 41°. For my American readers, that translates to 91°F with the humidex at 105°F. Yes, it is hot… but it is nowhere near as hot as Dallas, where 105° will be the straight-up high temperature, with humidity of 65% (as the humidex is a Canadian measurement, I could not easily find it for Dallas. Trust me, that is freaking hot!). Ankle permitting, I will go for my walk this afternoon… but I will be paying special attention to drinking every kilometre, and not just ‘when I think of it,’ which is usually the case.

    It is hot and sunny today, and Princess Sophie and I decided we will keep the patio door closed in favour of the air conditioner, which is set at a balmy 74°F. I am wearing a short sleeve shirt so it can get a bit chilly, but for the most part it is very comfortable.

    Speaking of short sleeve shirts, I have a non-scale victory to report! Last night while video-chatting with my wife, she asked me which shirt I was wearing. Of course, she had seen it a hundred times before, but she did not recognize it because it was so loose! Likewise, the pants that I am wearing, which three months ago did not fit at all, are also very loose, and for the first time I eyed the bin of clothes the next size down this morning. I am not quite ready for them… but I can start thinking about it.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 195

    Princess Sophie is getting better, but slowly. Last night she asked to go outside again at 2:30am, and so I had another night of interrupted sleep. Nevertheless, I woke up mostly refreshed, and am happy the day is underway.

    For the sixth consecutive day I was pleased by the numbers on the bathroom scale, and I am once again in new-low territory. It feels good, and I hope I can continue to drop. Over the last week or so, I have hoped to lose at least fifteen pounds between now and my trip to Dallas, now twenty-two days away. If we account for the five pounds I have lost in that time, I see it as a reachable goal. That would have me around 315-pounds, which is twenty-six pounds down from the morning I left Dallas early in July. I am thrilled that is within reach.

    Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. There are consequences for a fat man who does a lot of exercise, including on the back, knees, and feet. Last night in bed I could definitely feel both of my knees, but a good dollop of Voltaren helped that. My heel was not too bad until I got up in the night to take Her Floofness out, but it is still okay. I dressed it again this morning and will need to go to the pharmacy to pick up more bandages. I will try to do that at lunch time.

    Lunch today will be fish, which is defrosted in the fridge, and salad. I know that I only have enough vegetables for one more salad, so I will also be going to the supermarket at some point today. That means that I will be running the temptation gauntlet of the bakery and prepared foods section, but I know I can do it. I will just make a point to go after I have eaten, rather than before. In fact, I might do that at lunch… they likely have the bandages that I need at the supermarket, so I will not have to make two stops.

    It feels good to be coming out of the funk that I was in. Leslie and I discussed yesterday (and not for the first time in these few weeks) that I am a bit of a social butterfly, and when I do not speak with friends, I tend to fall even further into depression. I do not think that has been the case with my break with Facebook, but it truly was nice to sit with Lyle and Dorothy on Sunday. I have other friends who want to see me, and a couple have reached out to see how I have been doing. I hope that I am better, but I have to be vigilant, because there are hidden triggers abound, and I do not want to run into one unexpectedly and fall backwards into despair.

    I am told that of my students who wrote the test yesterday, only one of them will be required to retake it. By any measure, that is a good pass rate. I tend to worry that sometimes my folksy teaching style focuses more on what students will need to know in their careers, and less on what they need to know for the exam. Every time I get news like this it makes me happy. Today we start on a new class, and it is one that I have taught several times before. I am looking forward to it because unlike the previous class, it is not a ‘For Beginners’ class… or at least, the technologies covered are much more advanced than the Foundations class I just finished with. When I teach a course for beginners, I am always worried that my previous disdain for Level-1 IT Professionals will come through. I have certainly evolved away from that opinion, but I never want what I used to think to show through. I also know that I have much more time for this class and will be able to take a more relaxed pace than with the previous one. It should be fun!

    It is a cooler day today than it has been, owing I suspect to the rain we enjoyed last night. The forecast has up to a 9% chance of precipitation today, but that is from 10am through 4pm, and that drops to no chance of rain by the time I will be ready to walk. The temperatures will top out at 26°C, which for my American friends is a very comfortable 79° Fahrenheit. As long as my feet and knees are not bothering me, I will endeavour to kick it up a bit and beat yesterday’s distance, if not the pace.

    Today is National Ice Cream Sandwich Day, but I will not be partaking in anything so frivolous. I am doing extremely well on my weight loss program, and now is not the time to falter. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 193

    It was a very hard night last night. I suppose it started in the afternoon though.

    First things first, I had breakfast with my boys. I followed my original plan and ordered the Peggy’s Poached with a second egg. It was only when my son the younger could not finish his meal that I strayed from the plan. I had another piece of toast with his eggs. He tried to give me his sausage link as well, but fortunately my son the older intervened, reminding him that I do not eat pork. Indeed, I would not have eaten that. There is a difference between eating too much of something that I am allowed to eat (both for my diet and for my religion) and eating something that is completely against one or the other of them.

    When I left the restaurant, I had nearly 90-minutes before my scheduled haircut. I knew that if I went home, I would have to take Princess Sophie out… and then leave her again. Most of the time, she is saddest when I leave, but once I am gone, she spends her time relaxing. We have seen it in action… she lounges about quietly and comfortably, often for hours… but as soon as she sees my car pull in, it is showtime. She puts on an act as if she had been desperately crying the whole time I was gone. It was easier to just go straight to the barber and have a cigar outside while I waited patiently.

    As it happens, yesterday was the day that I should have come home. For the first time since she came to Canada, and only the third time ever, Princess Sophie had an accident in the house. With dogs it is always difficult to tell if they are having soft stool because they are sick, or because they ate something that disagreed with them. I took her out immediately, and then came home to clean up the mess. For those of you who are wondering, this is where the hard night would begin… even though I did not know it at the time.

    We went to bed at a reasonable hour, after a nice video date with the missus. She had been out a couple of times in the afternoon which is usually plenty for her… but she is a good girl who is very good about telling me when she really needs to go out, and so at 12:10am I threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and took her out. There was more soft stool, but I would not really have qualified it as diarrhea.

    When we came in, we went right back to bed. Only Her Floofness did not stay in bed. She jumped down within the next hour and did a lot of walking about the apartment. Twice I got out of bed to check on her, and to try to bring her back into bed. Both times she stayed for a few minutes, and then jumped back down. While she does this from time to time, I only really settle in when I know that she just decided to sleep on the couch, or in her bed. When she is walking about, I listen intently for signs of distress, and I cannot turn that off.

    It was a little before 4:30am when she actually came into the bedroom to tell me she needed to go out again. If you want to know what an excellent communicator she is, she knows how to do this soundlessly. There is no barking about, but she makes herself clear… and I try to listen every time. As I was getting ready to take her out, I noticed she had another accident in the kitchen. I would clean that up when we got home again.

    After that trip outside, we slept for three whole hours – the first sleep I got – before she told me once again at 7:30am that she needed to go out again. I was just hoping that when we came back in, I would be able to get a little more sleep. Once again, there was diarrhea, but when she was done, she saw her friend Charlie and was playful and frolicking like normal. This is usually a sign that yes, she is under the weather, but she is not sick… she just ate something she shouldn’t have. Charlie’s mom and I thought it might have been some of his puppy food, but apparently, she did not eat any yesterday. That she was not caught eating it does not mean that she did not, so we won’t know.

    I did get nearly one more hour of sleep before she told me that she needed to go out once more. I suspect that this time, which produced only a miniscule amount of waste, would be the last time… unless she really is sick, at which point it will likely resume once she eats again. I am hoping that is not the case.

    I did not try to go back to sleep again. By now it was 9:15am, and I am resigned to the fact that I had to get up and do my thing. I will try to get to bed early this evening so that I am not a complete zombie during class tomorrow. With that said, I will be keeping a close eye on my girl, and if she shows any signs of distress, I will take care of her.

    The number on the scale this morning was extremely positive; it took five days to recover from that unfortunate spike, but my weight is back firmly into new-best territory, after a 1.6-pound drop from yesterday. I am not discounting the possibility that my interrupted sleep skewed the real numbers (that is a real thing), and I have to remember that the individual numbers are not as telling as the trend. With that said, down is down, and it always feels good. Knowing that I am now below the weight that I was the day my father passed away (which is essentially the day I stopped trying to lose weight on my last attempt) is nice. Knowing that I am still 20-pounds heavier than I was the day that I first heard the name of my wife gives me another goal to strive for.

    The blister on my foot is worse than it was yesterday. Last night I removed the bandage and did not replace it. Had I known that between the time I did that, and the time I would sit down writing this with my second cup of coffee, that I would have put my sandals on four times to walk 2500 steps (with the leather strap of my sandal rubbing against the healing blister) then I would have replaced it immediately. I did replace it this morning of course, and I hope that I will feel fit enough to go for a good long walk this evening – my first in three days – without any discomfort. I might beat myself up for not taking care of myself, but I also have to remember that when I removed the dressing last night, I thought I had eight hours to let it breathe and heal. No.

    It is looking like another beautiful day in Burlington, Ontario. The forecast reads sunny with a high of 33°C, which means it will be a perfect day to sit with a friend smoking a cigar. It has been more than two weeks since I have socialized with anyone. While I have enjoyed the solitude (and really needed it because of things that were going on), I am by nature a social being who enjoys seeing my friends. After lunch, Princess Sophie and I will head to Hamilton to spend the afternoon with Lyle and Dorothy. I am on the fence about taking her with me, but I would really like to keep an eye on her to make sure she really is feeling better.

    Have a great day folks!

  • The First 47.5

    I was not feeling energetic today. I had my support call at 11:00am, and then I went shopping. My intention was to come home from shopping, make lunch, and then after lunch I would get dressed and go for my walk. That is not quite how it worked out, because after lunch I sat around like a lazy slob until I finally lay down for a nap.

    I was not going to let today go to waste, but it is my last day before I start teaching again. I also knew that I had walked my tail off all week, and if I decided to take the day off, it would not be a crime.

    NO! I do not know how my schedule is going to work starting tomorrow. I hope I will be able to do my fitness walking in the evenings, but how can I be sure that after a long day of lecturing that I will have the koach in me? Tomorrow will be telling… but today is today.

    I got out of bed, ready to go for a fitness walk… only to be thwarted by a cute little princess who wanted to go for a walk too… only she does not fitness walk, she saunters, sniffs, and pees. Nevertheless, her walking is much more of a priority than my own, so even though I was dressed to work out, I collected her leash and…

    One of my earbuds was gone. I have written a few times about my Jaybird Vista earbuds, and how I have twice lost one, to have the company replace it for me each time. Aside from the fact that I have had them a year and a half and the warranty is long expired, I suspect I have pushed my luck with them as far as I can get away with. I looked everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found. I must have lost it along my walk with Princess Sophie this morning, or on my way in from shopping… which means that in all likelihood, were I to find it, it would be rain drenched and useless. I sighed, resigned to the fact that I would have to invest in a new pair soon enough.

    We walked down through the lobby and … what was sitting on the floor, inside the dry lobby, but an ear bud!? I was thrilled to find it. I am sure that soon enough I will need to invest in a new pair, but I am glad that is not today.

    I took Her Royal Floofness for her walk, and when we came back in, I gave her a treat, and set out again. I was not sure how far I would comfortably walk today, considering a couple of blisters on my feet, and the fact that there were severe thunderstorm warnings for the next couple of hours. The sun was still blue, so I put on my shoes with the thickest soles, along with my thick gym socks, and I headed out.

    While the shoes that I selected are likely the best for walking with blisters, and are likely the only ones that fit with the thick socks, I have never had a good split-pace time wearing them. Today was no different, with an average pace of 10m52s per kilometre.

    • Distance: 8 km (8.06 km)
    • Duration: 1:27 (1:24:05 minutes)
    • Average Pace (Min/km): 10:52 (10:26)
    • Steps: 10.1k (9.9k)
    • Calories burned: 460 (467)
    • Elevation gain: 36m (23m)
    • Average cadence (steps per minute): 116 (118)

    One thing I should mention is that when I adjust the units of measure on my online apps, I should make sure to reset the apps on my phone. The MayMyWalk app decided to let me know my split pace times at intervals of 625 metres, which was really disconcerting. For those who are curious, the best I could come up with is that there are 6.25 miles in 10 kilometres, so when I switched the app units of measure from Imperial to Metric, something weird happened. I’ll reset it now that I am home.

    So why the title, The First 47.5? It is of course a play on words of the title of the television show The First 48; From Monday to Sunday, I walked 47.5 kilometres.

    • Monday: 9.03 km
    • Wednesday: 8.0 km
    • Thursday: 8.0 km
    • Friday: 6.5 km
    • Saturday: 8.06 km
    • Sunday: 8.0 km

    The drive from my apartment to Toronto Pearson International Airport is 46.5km. In the (for Canada) blistering heat, I could have walked to the airport this week… and right to my gate. I am calling this a very successful week, but likely an anomalous one… I do not suspect that the next four weeks, when if I can walk it will be in the evenings after a long day of work, I will be able to walk nearly as far. Not a problem though… as long as I do not quit!

    Tomorrow morning, I will wake up and do my morning routing, and then after I walk Princess Sophie, I will sit down to teach. I am looking forward to being back in front of a class. I do not know if I will be fitness walking tomorrow, both because of the class but also because of the even more blisters on my feet now than I had earlier today. We will have to see.

    Have a great evening folks!

  • Day 132

    As predicted, I was not going to win any prizes on the golf course yesterday. I hit a few good shots, I hit a lot of bad shots. It was a beautiful day to be outside, and I am happy I did it. What I should do is go to a driving range somewhere today. We will see about that. I have a game with a friend on Thursday, and wouldn’t it be nice to not suck up the course? We’ll see. I do have to do some shopping this morning. Maybe after I am done, I will go to the range.

    I did not cheat at all yesterday… although my schedule was off. My morning shake was normal, but then I did not have anything else to eat until after golf. I came home and almost immediately took the Princess for a walk, but not before I put the chicken into the air fryer. When we came home, I steamed the vegetables, and everything came out great. A couple of hours later I was still hungry, so I had a meal replacement bar… I am going to have to order more this week. At around 7:30pm I made a salad with a can of tuna, and around 9:30pm I had another shake. I ate within my program, only the times were off. Yes, I know I should not be eating at 9:30pm. I was 1.4 lbs down on the scale this morning, which is a huge yay!

    A trip to the supermarket is urgent because I am out of all of the provisions that I would need for a normal day on my diet program. I will buy vegetables, chicken (and probably a couple of pieces of fish), as well as some of the seasoning that I bought last time. Oh, and I think there is a vegetable seasoning that I might like for my steamed vegetables. I have enough milk for coffee, and I still have at least a half dozen cans of tuna. Chicken, fish, and vegetables, and some seasoning is all I will need. Oh, and I will look in the treats section to see if there is anything fun to bring to Dallas!

    Today is HRF Princess’ birthday! So yes, I will be spoiling her rotten. I might forego PetSmart and head to a gourmet doggie bakery to pick up some treats for her. While PetSmart is great, they can always be relied upon to have the same old stuff. I think if I head to Bark & Fitz there will be plenty of new options, which she will love. Yes, I plan to spoil my girl today… I will be mixing some chicken in with her evening meal for sure! I thought of just giving her chicken, but knowing her, she would expect that forever, and would never taste kibble again. No, I cannot do that.

    The high temperatures today is predicted at 31°c, which is about 88°F. It will be a good day to relax. I might call Lyle and see if he wants to smoke on his patio, which has a nice breeze. We’ll see.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 126

    The biggest inconvenience to having relocated my bathroom scale into the bedroom is that I very often forget to weigh myself. I get out of the shower, shave, and then head into the bedroom. In a perfect world, I would hop onto the scale immediately. In the real (and more perfect) world, I am immediately distracted by a gorgeous doggie who has been waiting patiently for me to finish in the bathroom so that we can go out for our morning walk. Some days I remember, and others I do not.

    Today fell into the latter category, and it was not until we were nearly home from the park that I remembered. We got home and I gave her a treat. I then put on the coffee before heading into the bedroom, disrobing, and stepping onto the scale.

    I do not know what difference an hour might make, or if the walk makes a difference. I do know that I was extremely pleased by the numbers on the scale this morning after the walk. I was down 2.6 lbs, and in line with my numbers the first morning back from Cuba, when I was shocked that I had actually lost weight. From there, over the next few days I would gain 3.4 lbs. I am now down to where I was eight days ago. Good. Now it’s time to get back on track!

    Leslie made a good point yesterday. I want to be clear that she is my most wonderful advocate and has not chastised me during my journey. She encourages me every day. She asked me yesterday why I continue to stop at Bulk Barn for peanuts, if I know that they are my kryptonite. I have given this a lot of thought. Firstly, peanuts are not my kryptonite. They are something that I really enjoy, that in moderation are not the worst indulgence in the world for my diet. My Achilles heel is that I do not seem to have the ability to leave any behind. If I buy ten peanuts, I eat ten peanuts that day. If I buy a thousand peanuts, I eat the thousand peanuts the same day. Buying for a few days is obviously not a good idea for me. Today I am going to go to Bulk Barn, and I am going to measure out my peanuts. I will not spend more than one dollar on nuts (taxes included). I do not know what the cost is per peanut (I know, they charge by weight. Go with it.) but I will verify that, and rather than filling a scoop to put into the bag, I will get a reasonable number. According to my research, one ounce of peanuts contains 160 calories. It also contains seven grams of protein, six grams of carbohydrates, and thirteen grams of fat. That is not a bad snack. I will bet you that when I measure that out at the store today, I will be unpleasantly shocked by how many servings I have been eating when I buy a scoop. I will report back.

    (For the record, I’m not sure what my actual kryptonite is, nor if it is only one single food. With that said, a plate of Buffalo wings would certainly be high up on that list!)

    My friend the cleaning lady is coming this afternoon, which means that the apartment will be in order again. It also means that, weather permitting, I will stay out of her way by sitting on the balcony with a cigar or two. What can I say? I am pretty predictable in a lot of ways.

    Have a great day folks!