Losing a part of me

Category: Food

  • Day 757

    I clocked 19,300 steps yesterday (not including the 1700 steps I walked after midnight but before bed), bringing my total since I got to Cuba to just over 99,000 steps in five days. By any measure that is a big success. I am glad that the pains in my feet are still less and less every day. I did not take any painkillers before bed or when I woke up. I am relieved that I am able to get through it without needing to take a day off of my intense walking.

    I met a friend who is a local yesterday, and he took me to a locals bar where they made me the largest (and strongest) mojito I have ever seen in my life. It had a shot of six different rums in it. Wow! We were having a great time dancing in the street outside the bar and just enjoying life… in a very non-touristy area of town. It was a lot of fun, but I had to be careful because I know how drunk I was. When he and I finally parted company I went to my buddy’s restaurant and ordered a plate of pasta to make sure I had something in my stomach that would help with the potential issues one might have when they drink that much.

    After dinner I went to my other buddy’s restaurant for a coffee, and I met some other friends and hung out for a few hours. I then went to see another friend who works in a hotel in the old city, and we had a great conversation until 3:00am. Needless to say I did not get a lot of sleep last night. Somewhere in there I was challenged to a fight by a drunk American arse who asked me why Jews are the new Nazis. If I didn’t love my friend who works there, after he decided to not come outside to ‘talk’ I would have made sure he stepped out. The encounter sobered me up in a hurry to be sure. His friends were disgusted by him – not only because of his behaviour, but one of them was Jewish. Some people just don’t get it. His friend told me that he would be ashamed of himself when he sobered up. I assured her that he might feel stupid for saying it to someone like me, but that I guaranteed that his opinion of Jews would not have changed one bit. Some people are just terrible people.

    I have not weighed myself this week, but I would not be surprised if when I step onto the bathroom scale next week, I will have lost a couple of pounds. It is hard to walk as much as I have been walking and not lose weight. I have also not been eating badly at all. Here’s hoping, right?

    Once again, I have written my article, but the Internet is down. It is now 12:15pm Friday, but I do not know when I will be publishing. My fitness watch has by steps at nearly 3,900 so far. That will be over ten thousand before the day is done, and I would not be surprised if I achieve 15,000 again. We’ll see.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 755

    There are some things that would be difficult for anyone who has not spent time in Cuba to understand. One of these is that Internet is only available in some places, and then only when it feels like working. As an example, it rained yesterday, hence despite having written my article, I could not publish it because the Internet does not work in Cuba when it rains. Additionally, the previous day’s article was written and I thought it had published… but I was wrong. Don’t worry, I am able to backdate them so that when today’s article goes live my 756-day streak should be intact.

    I do not go out of my way to be online when I am here. Several hours after my article was finished, I was sitting at a café and the Internet was working… but my article was on my computer back in my apartment. I did not feel it necessary to run back, grab my computer, and come back to the café… not only because it is possible that in the fifteen minutes I was gone, the Internet might have dropped again. It’s all good.

    Despite writing about it in the past tense, I am actually starting today’s article yesterday… which is to say, last night. Yes, as I type this out I am lying in bed and ready to sleep. My feet are in agony – between Monday and Tuesday I walked over 44,000 steps! I got back to the room and peeled my shoes and socks off, then hobbled to the shower where I stood painfully but necessarily under the hot water. I did not shower this morning and I felt grungy. I briefly considered not shaving because that would entail standing for another five minutes or so. Once my stubble was gone I then considered (again briefly) not walking to the kitchen where I had to shut the gas for the water heater… I did the responsible thing and endured those extra thirty or so steps. Now I am lying comfortably so that the soles of my feet (which are currently about 40% blister) do not have to touch anything for the next eight hours or so.

    I am not eating as well as I should, but in the balance between caloric intake and calories burned I suspect I am doing well. I had a reasonable breakfast, a rich lunch of pasta with cream sauce (and a couple of glasses of rum, thanks to my buddy who owns the restaurant), and a mostly healthy dinner (although the French fries were not a good choice). I smoked several cigars throughout the day and drank more coffee than I probably should; the restaurants here serve a piece of chocolate with each cup of coffee, and I do not feel too guilty for eating them. Unlike yesterday (when I indulged in a piece of chocolate cake for desert after lunch) those were the only sweets that I had. I also had two glasses of juice… but I am sure my body will forgive me. All in all, I am hoping that were I to step on my bathroom scale this morning I would not be too disappointed.

    I am planning on taking it easy Wednesday (today). I will do some walking around Old Havana in the morning, and sometime in the afternoon I am meeting friends at the Hotel Nacional (4km from here). Unless my feet experience some sort of miraculous recovery, it is my intention to take a taxi to get there and back. Those will be the first I have taken since the one that brought me from the airport. The plan is to relax, smoke cigars, and to chat. No harm in that, right?

    —

    Okay, it now really is tomorrow (today) and I am sitting at the café in Calle Aguilar. I had the same breakfast I’ve had every day and am enjoying a cup of coffee. I just had a nice conversation with an American who lives just south of Montreal (in New York State) who is on his first trip here, and we spoke about cigars and economics and how to help the people here… while not getting taken in by the ploys that abound. Now I am going to finish my second cup of coffee and when I put my computer away I will pull out my backgammon set in the (probably vain) hopes that someone will sit down to play. It does not seem to be a very Cuban game. Oh well.

    My feet are still hurting, but not nearly as bad as they were last night. I am still going to take it easy – I doubt my step count will exceed 10,000 today – and will take taxis if I am going to leave Old Havana. Unless my friend from Portugal invites me to the Hotel Nacional for coffee I will not be leaving the neighbourhood. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep last night because of them, and finally I broke down and took a couple of Aspirin. I took two more this morning and will proactively take a couple more throughout the day. I have no problems pushing myself, but there is a fine line between pain and injury… and I want to make sure my feet do recover so that I am not in pain the entire trip. I know that I overdid things my first few days here, and I know I have to pace myself. I can go back to Canada and limp around, but if I want to go to the store in Canada I can get into my car if I am in too much pain to walk. That is not an option here.

    It is still cool and a little cloudy, but the sun is coming out and I will be wearing sunglasses today. What else will I be doing? Who knows… whatever it is, I’ll have fun. There will be cafes and restaurants and music… and hopefully some backgammon involved.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 749

    I seem to be a day behind in my thinking… or I lost a day along the way somewhere. I have been thinking today was Wednesday, so when my countdown timer to my trip showed that I was just under three-days away I was confused. Did I accidentally input Saturday instead of Sunday? No… it turns out I am just a bit skewed. Yes, in sixty-five hours I will be catching my ride to the airport, and by just past noon three days from now I will be in Havana. I can hardly wait!

    I cheated again last night, but apparently not as bad as I had the previous days. My weight dropped all of what I gained yesterday morning, pulling me away from the precipice of that 270 lbs. mark. Still and all, I have to find a way to stop cheating!

    My doctor asked me yesterday if I had considered speaking with a professional about my emotional problems. I told her that I do not feel that I am ready for that. I also assured her that I have a good support system around who I speak to, and who are looking out for me. She also told me that my tests came back clear (although one is still pending), and that she is happy that I am exercising.

    Speaking of exercise: I did a full 5km on the treadmill yesterday, and I did the whole thing at the higher pace of 4.2 mph. My ankle did not hurt, but it did remind me that it was there. Now that I have properly calibrated my fitness watch, it is reporting a pace of 8m50s per kilometre which seems slow to me. I know that when I was running outside last summer, I was doing a kilometre in under 8m, and I am not sure that I was running much harder than I did yesterday. I know that I am just ramping up again, and that I am probably not going quite as fast as I was… but I also suspect it is possible that the treadmill’s calibration might not be exactly right. Oh well… I ran for just under 45 minutes, and that is a win for me by any measure.

    Once I finish this article, I am going to go to run a couple of errands… including the trip to Costco that I have been putting off. I have already taken my gift card and an item I’ve been meaning to return and placed them by the door. I also want to stop at the bank to pick up some US dollars (although I will have to make another trip to the bank to pick up my Euros, but I have my reasons). I will come home and make a reasonable lunch. In the afternoon my friend Eduardo is coming over for a cigar. Hopefully I will have time between these to run on the treadmill, but if not then I will be able to do it this evening. I am serious about getting back into the habit of running, and not just forcing myself to do it. To that end, I need to make sure that I do it when I am in Cuba as well… which means I will be jogging in the streets. That sounds like fun!

    See you tomorrow folks.

  • Day 748

    I was disappointed this morning to see that I not only gained weight again but gained a substantial amount of it. I did not eat badly yesterday, and I jogged nearly thirty minutes. The things I can point to from yesterday that were not on my program were a roll for breakfast, an apple in the evening, a dark chocolate wafer that my master (Taekwondo before you ask) brought and insisted I try, and the eggrolls that I had with my dinner. I am going to cut the eggrolls down today and skip the apple and chocolate. I already ate my roll with breakfast.

    I am counting down the days until I get onto the airplane. If there are no delays, then I will be landing in Havana in three days and twenty-two hours. I do not want to think about what issues I might have but I am hoping for clear sailing from beginning to end. Here’s hoping!

    My sleep score last night was an amazing 85. According to my fitness watch I slept 7h 25m, and got plenty of deep sleep. I suspect that something was a little off on that, as I woke up around 7:30am, and I thought I was in bed much earlier than midnight. Oh well… even if I did go to sleep that late, I am not used to getting that much good sleep. It was the third night in a week in which my score was above 80, and with the exception of Friday night (which was a terrible night, although I cannot remember why) it has been 77 or higher every night. I am glad to be sleeping better… now if I can just stop eating and gaining weight!

    I have no plans to overeat today… although I suppose I seldom do. My goal is to stick to my program and drop a couple of these pesky pounds before I get onto the airplane. I could hardly believe when I saw the numbers on the bathroom scale this morning… I weigh nearly 270 lbs. again! I have to get off this rollercoaster and start dropping some of that. I do not want to do anything too extreme, but I also do not want my weight to creep above that terrible mark again.

    I ran less than I had planned to yesterday, but at a slightly faster pace. When I first started the treadmill – within the first fifteen seconds – I realized there was a sharp pain in my ankle. It was not an injury, but if I pushed myself, it could easily become one. I stopped the treadmill, spent a few minutes stretching it, and then started up again. I have been setting the pace to 4 mph (at a 3% incline). Within the first minute of my run, I pushed that up to 4.2 mph. I pulled up at 2 miles (I have been doing 3 miles) because I was worried about my ankle. I re-calibrated my fitness watch (which was nowhere near accurate) and called it a day. I will try to get a couple of miles in again today but will now be paying attention to both my knees and my ankle. Sigh. Getting old is not fun, but as my parents used to say… it beats the alternative.

    I am slowly trying to get back to my happy self, but that is going to take some time. I have a new normal to get used to which is harder than I thought… and I never thought I would be here. I am seeing my doctor this afternoon, and I am going to ask about increasing my dosage of the antidepressants (which she said was likely going to happen after a month or so, which is about right on track). I hate being chemically dependent… but that is not the worst of my life right now, so I will live with it.

    I’ll see you tomorrow.

  • Day 746

    I am usually very good at doing quick calculations such as miles to kilometres in my head, so I am not sure why I thought that when I hit three miles on the treadmill that would be 5km, but that is when I stopped my run yesterday. It was silly because I then had to calculate that 3mi is 4.83km so that I could properly calibrate my fitness watch. I will do another jog today to confirm that it worked – which would mean that if I ran 3.11mi I would hit my 5km. It is worth noting that according to my Garmin Connect page on my computer, despite my effort to calibrate the watch, yesterday’s treadmill run is still marked as a 5.83km run. I suppose maybe the calibration only takes effect after that run? It does not make any sense, but okay… I’ll see what it records today.

    I ate well yesterday, and my weight dropped nearly another half-pound this morning. While I am disappointed that it was not more of a drop, I should not be surprised. Yes, my horrible cheat-day a few days ago resulted in a nearly three-pound jump. No, I should not expect a couple of good days to reverse that completely. Yes, that has happened often enough… but I am a fifty-one-year-old man and I have to be realistic that my body will not always rebound as I would like it to.

    Speaking of my body rebounding: I was walking with Her Floofness this morning and felt an almost unnoticeable something in my knees. I should not be surprised… or maybe I should be surprised that it was so small. I will keep an eye on them over the next little while; I assume it is just my body reminding me that I am exercising again, and that it is normal to feel aches when working out.

    I have to go to have a test done today. I am going to do it after lunch but before I pick my housekeeper up from the train station. After that, she will be here for a few hours… and then the apartment will be tidy again.

    I guess that means I should think about eating an early lunch… or at least, early enough so that I can be at the clinic by 1pm. I made an appointment to see my doctor on Wednesday, and I should have had this test done last week. Hopefully she will get the results in time. If not? Well, that’s life.

    I am trying to decide if You should bring my bathroom scale to Cuba or not. I will make that decision later… depending on how heavy my suitcase already is. I will not need as much space for my clothes as I once would have, but I am taking a lot of clothes to give to friends, and that will likely completely cram my suitcase. We’ll see when I am packed.

    Speaking of suitcases and Cuba… I remember the last time I left Cuba that one of my cigar tools was confiscated ‘for security reasons.’ In truth, it was because the kid scanning my carryon luggage wanted it for himself. (look up ‘Xikar 011 Twist Punch’ and you’ll see why I am so sure) In any event, I had best remember that when leaving the country, I pack anything even remotely possibly interesting in my checked luggage. I do not want a repeat performance!

    Okay, my lunch is in the air fryer. I would never eat this early, but when there are timing factors as there are today, I do what needs to be done. I do not want to eat later because I want my cleaning lady to completely clean the kitchen.

    Oh wow… it just occurred to me that I won’t have time to get on the treadmill until after she is gone. I guess I could do it while she is here, but then I will have to make sure I am decent both on my way to and from the shower. I’ll think about it.

    That is another thing I have been thinking about… I want to run when I am in Havana. I don’t know how much or how far, and I also know I plan to do a lot of walking while I am there. With that said, if I can do 5-10km jogging a couple of times then I will be a very happy man. We’ll see…

    See you tomorrow folks.

  • Day 742

    After my weight did not drop at all yesterday, I thought that I might try to adjust my eating. That did not happen though, and I ate the same as I had the previous day – an omelet with the last of my rolls for breakfast, and then in the late afternoon I had my usual chicken with a couple of spring rolls (all air-fried). I ate nothing after 5:30pm, despite slight hunger pangs in the evening before bed. I was asleep much earlier than normal – for the first time in a few weeks I was asleep before 11:00pm, and despite getting up twice in the night to pee (which I had not been doing lately), I slept a full eight hours. According to my fitness watch, my sleep score has been between 79 and 87 every night this past week (except for Sunday, when I hardly slept – see Day 739). I am still extremely down about what is going on in my life, but at least I am starting to sleep better.

    All of this to say that while I did not lose the entirety of the weight that I gained two days ago, I did drop most of it. Phew! I hope to be able to continue that trend tomorrow.

    I was originally supposed to be teaching yesterday, today, and tomorrow. For reasons that have nothing to do with me each was canceled, giving me three days of paid work that are essentially days off. I still spent much of yesterday preparing for the classes because today and tomorrow were not cancelled until late yesterday afternoon, but today I get to breathe.

    Speaking of room to breathe, I am thinking seriously about taking off for a week or ten days. I might head down to Cuba for an escape from reality. It has been nearly two years since I was last there, and I miss my friends… and I have too many things rattling through my head that I need to figure out how to clear. I am going to ask a couple of buddies if they want to come along. Hopefully it will be fun.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 739

    My weight was the same this morning as it was yesterday morning. This was likely owing to a combination of two factors:

    1) The friend whose house I was at yesterday made an amazing beef sandwich on fresh Italian bread; and

    2) Princess Sophie got me up before I really wanted to get up because she was frantically asking to go outside. When a doggie tells you it is important, you should listen. I did not really feel the need to move my bowels (although I likely would have been able to) so I cut that corner in the rush to take her outside… thus weighing myself without doing so.

    I hardly slept at all last night. Aside from the sandwich, my buddy also made us an espresso. This was just an all-around bad idea at 7:00pm, but I was thinking more about the football game we were watching. I will try to not make that mistake again. The consequence of that is that I am working on about four hours of sleep… after two great nights, last night was the pits. Oh well. Tonight will be better.

    I took Her Floofness to the doctor today, and she was such a good girl (as she always is). When I brought her home she insisted on going to the neighbour’s apartment… even though after her vaccinations she will likely be asleep all afternoon. I wish I was! I had to go shopping, and then came home to make lunch. I have a lot of work to do, and I am going to shower and then sit on the balcony reading (to prepare for my upcoming classes.

    See you tomorrow.

  • Day 738

    I am feeling somewhat better today than I did yesterday. I did a lot of work yesterday evening and am planning to do more tonight. With that said, I am taking it easy for most of the day. I am likely going to see some friends and relax with a cigar.

    I was relieved that my weight was down significantly this morning. Yesterday’s jump of over 1.5 lbs. really bothered me; I was relieved that I dropped it all and a bit more this morning. I suspect that is due more to when I ate than what because I probably overindulged on the air-fried appetizers again. I ate the last of them yesterday and am not going to buy any more for the time being.

    I’ll see you all tomorrow.

  • Day 734

    I should not be surprised that I gained back so much weight over the course of two days. I have hardly been moving as I sit at my desk working all day, and I have been overindulgent with the air-fried eggrolls. With my dinner this evening I will forego those in lieu of a salad. Hopefully I will be able to get back on track with that. On the weekend I will be hitting the treadmill pretty hard!

  • Day 726

    Okay, my weight crept up this morning, a little over a pound. I weigh a couple of ounces more than I did the morning I flew out. Although the food we ate yesterday was healthy, Leslie and I went out for dinner and I chose a dish that was extremely high in sodium – according to the site that I checked there might be as much as 4,300mg – which means that today I am retaining water. If I eat properly today, that weight should come off by tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow is another travel day, and we all know that those are never good for me. With that said, my stated goal for the trip was to not gain more than a pound or two. It looks like I will be successful with that.

    In all likelihood, we will be picking up salads for lunch. I do not know what we will do for dinner, but I cannot imagine that either of us will want anything too heavy. It will be our last night together for a while, but that does not mean we have to go crazy. Both of us are trying to keep our weight down, and there are plenty of tasty meals that we can enjoy without killing that.

    My plans for today are to pack, do a little bit of work, and mostly stay close to home. There is not a lot of risk to my weight management routine in that, is there? There is a wind chill advisory for the morning and the temperature is currently 14°F (-10°C), but around noon the wind is forecast to die down, and by 2pm it should be much warmer (27°F, or -3°C). If the sun is out, then it will be perfect conditions to bundle up and sit out on the balcony with a cigar. I did that yesterday, and it felt wonderful until the sun started going down. If I start out a little earlier today (and not at 4:30pm, as was the case yesterday) then I should be in for a nice relaxing time.