Losing a part of me

Category: Meal Replacements

  • Day 860

    Weight:

    278.0 lbs. (Down 13.8 lbs. in the week. Still up 39.4 lbs. from Best Weight Ever)

    Re-hit this weight: 4/7/2024. Had dropped below this weight: 7/16/2023.

    I do not mean to sound ungrateful that I have dropped nearly fourteen pounds in my first week on the program because I am not. On the contrary, I am extremely pleased with myself for it. I am still disappointed with myself for having lost all of that progress that I had made in my previous efforts over seven months. I will keep reminding myself every week of how long it took me to go from losing weight to gaining weight. I essentially threw away eight months of weight loss efforts with eight months of letting myself go. I will keep watching that parabola of the up to down to up… until I am once again at and beyond my best weight ever.

    Yesterday was a mostly successful day in so many respects. Two brother freemasons came over to visit and smoke cigars (one in the morning, the other in the afternoon). One of them is a mental health advocate, and while we had planned his visit a week ago, it was fortuitous timing as another brother had a mental breakdown yesterday and he was able to intervene. We discussed it, and we discussed several other mental health issues. The other one is my mentor, and we usually get together weekly to work on masonic work. He met yesterday with the doctor that I originally did the weight loss program with at the bariatric clinic because he starts the program today! While we did do some masonic practice, most of the visit I was able to advise him and to answer questions for him… many of which he probably did not realize he had. I shared this journal with him so whether it is today or in 900 days be may one day read these words. I hope that when he does, he has succeeded in finding and achieving his weight loss goals!

    Speaking of weight loss goals (and non-scale victories, I thought of another one:

    Since March of 2022 I have been going twice per year to my Hong Kong tailor to buy custom shirts and sports jackets and whatever. They are usually in town in September and February/March. When I saw them on February 29th of this year the tailor told me that this was the first time that he had seen me in a few years that I have actually gained weight. I told him that it was an anomaly, and that I would be getting back on track. He asked if I was sure, or if he wanted them to cut the clothes a little larger. I insisted that I did not want that, and that I would be losing weight again. On that day I weighed 265.8 lbs., and I was hoping that my slide would be over. When I received the shipment from them just five weeks later, the jacket was tight… and I was only able to wear it a couple of times before I had to put it in my closet… hoping that I would be able to get back into it at some point.

    From my visit to them at the end of September (9/27/23) to that visit at the end of February (2/29/24) I had gained just under 20 lbs.; before my weight slide would end, I would gain another 26.

    With that, the next goal is to:

    1. Fit comfortably into the shirts and sports jacket that arrived in April (I am currently 13 lbs. from weighing what I weighed at the fitting in February)
    2. Fit comfortably into the shirts and sports jacket that I received in November (I am 33 lbs. from weighing what I weighed at my fitting in September)
    3. When I go back to be fitted in September, I want to once again be at my best weight ever.

    The first two of these points are doable but they do not have a time limit. The last one? Can I lose forty pounds in four months? That should be achievable, but I have to stay focused on it.

    My workout yesterday was great, and I did it a lot smarter than I had the previous day. My friend left at 12:30pm, and I prepared my second meal replacement. After I drank it, I got changed and I hit the treadmill. I jogged 4km at a pace of 4.2mph, and then walked one more kilometre at a pace of 3.5mph. I felt good when I was done and hit the shower knowing that my second friend would be arriving shortly. I went down to my car to have a small handful of almonds because I was feeling hungry at that point, and I was still two hours from my next meal replacement. I would end up finishing one of the two portions of almonds (in three installments) throughout the afternoon and evening, but I think I did it smartly.

    Okay, it is time for me to get this day going, I will sit on the patio with my wife (on the phone) for an hour, then I’ll hit the treadmill. The afternoon? Yeah, I’ll be working. Fun.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 854

    My wife has been joking, in our week leading up to restarting our diet together, that I lose weight if I even look at a meal replacement shake. While I wish that were true, I would be lying if I did not say that when I am on the program (and faithful to it) I tend to lose weight faster than others might. That is especially true on the first few days of my returning to the program, when I have been known to lose over ten (and once over fifteen) pounds in a week.

    I have been told often that it is easier for men to lose weight than it is for women, but never having been a woman I cannot attest to that. I am neither a scientist nor a medical professional of any kind, so I can only speak to my own experience. When I am able to stick to this program – a grueling one that many people would never want to try – I am able to lose weight. With that said, I think I tend to unintentionally stack the deck in my favour at the beginning. I know that if I were to have a lot of bread today then tomorrow my weight would be way up… but if I then ate sensibly and stayed away from all starches and carbohydrates tomorrow then I would shed much of that gained weight the following day. Tuesday I did not go nuts, but I did buy two rolls that I enjoyed with lunch and dinner… in addition to an apple. On Monday I had my cheat meal of the shawarma platter, as well as a bag of chips. Owing to that, my weight was up 3.4 lbs. over those two days. Yesterday I was mostly good… but I was really hungry, and so I bought a small bag of roasted and unsalted almonds, and I probably ate the equivalent of two servings of them (between 40-50 almonds). Other than that, I drank my four shakes and a pot of coffee. Not bad for a first day on the program.

    I was worried that the almonds would have impeded my success, but Leslie reassured me last night that I still consumed far fewer calories than I would on a normal non-program day. Of course she was right, and I was probably worried for nothing. When I stepped onto the bathroom scale this morning I was extremely pleased to see that I had indeed dropped four pounds in one day. How amazing would it be if I could do that on a regular basis? I would only need to diet for three weeks and I would be at my ultimate goal weight! Of course that is not going to happen, and I am under no delusions that I should expect anything like that going forward. With that said, it is a good way to start, and will encourage me to keep at it… especially on those days when I do not see any drop.

    I have written before about the importance of setting short-term goals. Leslie reminded me of that last night as we were talking, and I set one on the spot. I would love to get back down to under 270 lbs. in time for her visit. From yesterday that would mean a drop of 20 lbs. in about six weeks. While that is certainly achievable, I would not have a lot of room for error in that. I will try for it though.

    Of course, that is more of a challenge and a deadline than it is a goal… so I’ve given a little thought to some other short-term goals:

    • I want to fit into all of my clothes again… especially the custom-tailored shirts and sports jackets that I vowed would never be tight on me again.
    • I want to look at my face and see the slimmer face that seemed to appear out of nowhere. As I was losing weight the last time, there seemed to be a tipping point at which my face looked slimmer and less round. I do not remember when it happened, nor when it reverted to the rounder face that I see in the mirror (and in pictures) today… but I want to get back there.
    • I want to be able to adjust my tuxedo pants to the smaller waist… and then eventually change down to the smaller pair that I bought that turned out to be too tight.

    I do not think that any of these are unreasonable… although the second goal is more subjective and difficult to quantify. I do not see why I couldn’t do all of this by my birthday… so when my wife takes me out I can look good once again.

    I marked off my progress on the fridge chart this morning and it felt good. It is a full page chart that counts down in the left-hand column from yesterday’s weight by twos. The last row at the bottom reads 240 lbs. and in the right it reads ‘Shave to Baby Face!’ in red. Giving that a little thought, knowing that I will be doing this primarily for Leslie, I will either not shave it until we are together, or else I will shave it and not start growing it back until we are. I will discuss this with her but I am sure we will figure that out.

    I exercised yesterday! As I wrote in my entry, I cleared off the treadmill and walked for nearly an hour at a pretty good pace. Once again there is a disparity between the measurements on the panel and that on my fitness watch, but I am not concerned about that. Right now I am not exercising to compete with myself, only to get back into it. At some point in the next few weeks I will calibrate them, but for the time being I am just happy that I did what I said… and will do so again today. Yes, it is a beautiful day out again… but I am still not sure how far I can go before I hit that wall… and it is safer on the treadmill. Additionally, I can watch TV on the treadmill, and I have a few shows I am catching up on.

    As I wrote yesterday and then followed up on earlier in this piece, I am trying to figure out how to comfortably space out my shakes so that I do not get too hungry throughout the day. I do not know how much more weight I might have lost had I not eaten those almonds, but I am not concerned with that. What I am aiming for is to be on the program where I can be on the program… without needing to supplement it with anything but water. Yes, I drank a lot of water yesterday, and will do so today as well.

    Dieting is never easy, and a program like the one I am on is probably more grueling than most. There may be no thought required with regard to what I eat, but I do have to figure out how to get through the day without suffering too badly. It is something I will continue to watch for. I know how my body reacted to the program starting from zero; I do not know how it will react this time around, and each time can be very different. I know that of course because this is not my first time rebooting… and each time has been different.

    I mentioned to Leslie last night that there are some things that I had forgotten from my previous attempts. She mentioned one that I had forgotten, and so thanks to her I will be adding fibre to my shakes a couple of times per day.

    When her meeting is over Leslie and I will be having a video date, but until then I guess I should try to be at least somewhat productive. I’ll write more tomorrow.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 853… Day 1

    Weight: 291.8 lbs. (up 53.2 lbs from Best Weight Ever)

    Last time I weighed this much: January 22, 2023

    I woke up this morning with dread and hope and excitement and fear and trepidation. That’s a lot of emotion to experience before your first cup of coffee, don’t you think? Today is the day that Leslie and I decided we were starting our extreme program together. Last night I took out the first of my boxes that I placed on the stove to remind me in the morning that I would be starting again… not that I would have gotten very far had I forgotten, as I planned it well and have no real food in the house. While that is not technically true, I do not have any eggs, which would have made preparing my regular breakfast of a large omelette quite challenging. I took Her Royal Floofness for her walk, and then prepared a pot of coffee and my first shake in many months. It is time.

    Leslie and I had a cigar date this morning and we discussed how w are feeling about it, as well as what each of our goals are. I made her a promise… the day I reach my best weight ever I will shave my goatee. While she has seen pictures of it from before we met, Leslie has never actually seen me without facial hair. She has often joked that should would love to see me with what she calls my ‘baby face’ and I am not setting that as a milestone for myself. I know that she will encourage me to get there… and that she will insist I keep my promise!

    (To be clear, once I have done that she will almost certainly encourage me to grow it back again, which I will gladly do. I like the goatee, and I know that she does as well. This is a one-time thing!)

    It is now 12:40pm, and I am sitting out on the balcony with my laptop. I have a lot of work to do, but it is a beautiful day and I am sitting out topless enjoying the weather. The work I have to do today can as easily be done on my laptop as at my desk, so why shouldn’t I enjoy the weather?

    My plans for the first week at least are to have my first shake when I get back from walking the Floof. The second shake will be at 1:00pm, the third at 5:00pm, and the final one at 9:00pm. My rationale is that I am teaching three days a week from 5:30-9:00pm, which means that I will have one right before class, and then immediately after it. There is a good chance though that I will have to delay the final shake some nights until I have walked the Floof again, but we will see. I am greatly encouraged that I am neither tired nor hungry right now, and that I am ready for that next shake. What does worry me a little is that I woke up late this morning, and by the time I finished my first meal replacement it was already 10:00am. I might push today’s second shake to 2:00pm to see how I feel with four hours between my first and my second shake. I am sure I will be able to make it, but I am curious to see how hungry I get. I am starting to feel the pangs now, but they are faint and I am not concerned. If they get worse then I will go down to 1:30pm, but I am sure I’ll be okay.

    I have not felt week yet, but the day is still relatively young. I also have all of the excess caloric energy from yesterday still floating around my system. Hopefully I will get through the first few days without too much difficulty. I really want to make it with the program again, although as of right now I am not sure what ‘making it’ really means.

    In my discussion with Leslie this morning she mentioned that she wants to shrink her stomach because she has been overeating. I agreed, and told her that one of my goals for my post-program changes is to reduce my meal size. Over the last few months I have been eating a four-egg omelette in the morning, followed by a whole chicken (plus salads and various other side dishes) throughout the day. The omelette should be reduced to three eggs, and the whole chicken should last me two days. I will make smaller portions of rice (or whatever side dish I choose), and I will only buy side dishes like egg rolls as a special treat. I will not completely cut out bread, but I will reduce the frequency back to once or twice per week… and reasonable portions when I do.

    It is time for me to start exercising again, and to that end I am not sure if I am going to go out for a walk this afternoon, or if I will get onto my treadmill. I am leaning toward the treadmill even though it is such a beautiful day outside because that will not only force me to stop using it as a clothes hanger (as so many people do), but it will also give me the opportunity to catch up on last night’s TV shows. While walking outside forces me to a certain distance (once I have walked three kilometres, I must then necessarily turn around and walk back another three kilometres), it has been a while since I have gone for a good walk, and I do not want to find myself completely out of steam and still a couple of kilometres from home. Today is my first day back on the severely reduced caloric program, and I do not know at what point I will run out of steam. It is too bad I cannot bring the treadmill out onto the balcony… but that would just be silly (not to mention extremely heavy and potentially dangerous).

    I have written so often about the need to be mindful in my eating. The good part of this program is that I do not have to worry or even think about what I am going to eat, as each meal replacement is pre-planned and measured. What I do have to be mindful of is my energy. I need to make sure that I can get through the day (including my evening class) without falling off. I also need to be mindful of my emotions and attitude, as those can be greatly affected by caloric deficiency. I think that Leslie and I will have to keep an eye on each other for that these next few days.

    Okay then… it is settled. As soon as I have finished my second meal replacement I will change into exercise shorts and a t-shirt and I will get the treadmill cleared off. I am excited to be getting back on track! I am not saying that I am back on track yet… I am five hours into Day 1, so until I have a week of successes under my belt I am not going to consider the necessary habits formed.

    One more thing… I have on several occasions in the past decided to go down to three meal replacements and a single full meal during my program. While I have definitely seen success with that, I am not going to do it for at least the first month. When my weight is back below 250 lbs. then I will think about it, but I want to see huge weight loss before I do that.

    There are a couple of things I need to do in order to make this work: The first: I am going to make an appointment to see my doctor. I have not seen her in a few months, and aside from my weight loss, I also need to discuss a few other things with her – my meds, as well as a mole on my face that I might want to have removed. I will make that call immediately, although I know I will need to leave a message and her staff will call me back.

    Wow! That was the first time ever that I called and got someone to speak to since I have been seeing this doctor. I have an appointment for June 10, and have made notes in my calendar appointment to hopefully remember some of what I need to speak with her about. Great! That is one thing off my plate.

    The second: I am going to make a new chart to put on my fridge. The last one was for the competition that Leslie and I had for a prize of a meal at our favourite steakhouse and cigar lounge in Addison. That is not coming down… I am leaving it up to remind me of how far I have fallen. The new one will be to track my progress on paper. Yes, I have the chart on my computer, and I have a spreadsheet that I keep… that is not in my face like the fridge chart was and will be. I will print that out now.

    Okay… I have made the chart, although it is not yet printed (this computer is not on the same subnet as my printer… long story). I put the increments at 2 lbs., and I will hopefully be able to start ticking those off tomorrow or Friday. We’ll see.

    It is now 1:50pm and it is time for me to head inside and prepare my meal replacement. I will then clean off the treadmill for a good workout. I am hungry now.

    Have a great day!

  • Day 852

    I woke up this morning thinking that if today was to be my last day of eating before I reembark on my extreme diet program with Leslie tomorrow, then I might consider going a bit extravagant… rather than the same old chicken that I would prepare in the air fryer. Those thoughts came to an abrupt end when I stepped onto the bathroom scale and saw the horrible number. 291 lbs..

    I had my usual breakfast, and then I took a coffee and a cigar onto the balcony to enjoy while chatting with my wife. We are both starting that program, and we are both a little nervous about how difficult it will be to get started. A little later on a friend came over and we chatted about a number of topics, including mental health. Despite us all having different problems, it is nice to be able to talk to someone who will understand.

    I went shopping, and it was much easier than normal… seeing as I am not going to be eating store-bought foods for a few weeks. I bought a chicken and a roll that I will eat today, and that’s it. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and prepare my first meal-replacement shake in over half a year. It is scary. It is exciting. Knowing that Leslie and I are doing it together will make it easier.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 851

    I have missed a couple of days blogging, and have not been too happy with myself. My weight yesterday morning was 289.2 lbs., a very short step to that dreaded 290 lbs. mark which I have been trying to stay away from. This morning I actually hit that mark for a minute… which is to say that after returning from my walk with Her Floofness I was preparing breakfast and felt the need to move my bowels, which is something I have not been very successful at these last few days. I finally had a good poop, and because I had not eaten yet I decided to reweigh myself. My weigh-in at 8:45am this morning had me significantly down from that, and from yesterday’s weight. Phew!

    Leslie and I decided a few days ago that when her son goes back to his father’s house for a few weeks that we will do the extreme program together for that time, and it begins on Wednesday. I have enough eggs for tomorrow morning’s breakfast, and I will shop today for tomorrow only. I miscalculated on my shopping only because I realized only this morning that today is a holiday and that the grocery stores are closed. The only food I have in the house is a couple of meatless burgers, so that will be my lunch with a salad. I will go out for dinner, but I will eat carefully. While it could be considered a ‘last splurge’ meal, I am not going to go nuts with it. Maybe I will pick up a shawarma plate or something. I will figure that out later today… but not too late, as I am teaching this evening and do not want to have my meal after 9:00pm.

    The past few days have been interesting. I wrote on Friday that my son the elder came over for a dram and a cigar, which was exciting as I had not seen or heard from him since October 11. We had a nice chat, and I invited him to come with me to the suits and tuxedo sale that my lodge was holding Saturday morning. He met me here at 7:30am and we drove down to Grimsby, where we both picked out a tuxedo. He was disappointed that they did not have a better selection of regular suits, but was nevertheless pleased with his new formal wear… as was I. We pulled into my parking lot shortly after 9:00am, and he was able to get to work on time for his shift… which had been my major concern.

    In the early afternoon on Saturday I tried on all of my new duds, and was extremely upset that the pants that I had selected did not fit. I ended up going back in the afternoon, at which point I not only got a pair that did fit, but also got a tails, and at the urging of a couple of the brothers I also picked out a couple more vests, cummerbunds, and bow ties.Now if I can only lose the weight to fit back into the smaller pants then I will be happy with myself.

    Following that, I went to a cigar and barbecue event at a friend’s house down that way. This particular friend hosts events on a regular basis and has been inviting me down for seven years, but this was my first time attending. It was a lot of fun, but I could not eat any of the barbecue because it was all pork products. I did snack, which I should not have. After one cigar I went home and prepared a proper meal for myself.

    Sunday was a strange day. I had very little energy, and although I had planned on going shopping for groceries, I kept putting it off. Around 5:00pm, after eating an early dinner, I lay down for a nap. I had a weird series of dreams that mostly involved my tossing and turning in bed trying unsuccessfully to nap, trying to get to a class that I was teaching and did not want to be late for, and dropping off my dry cleaning while alternately being hindered from doing so by the casts of Seinfeld and Friends… not the actors mind you, the actual characters who were doing their best to make sitcom bits of the dry cleaning experience. I found none of it funny, and when I woke up I was not at all rested, and it was too late to go to the supermarket. I was concerned by three things: one, I was as unrested after a long nap as I had been before the nap (you try dreaming about not sleeping well); two, would the supermarkets be open on Monday  which would be Victoria Day (Spoiler alert: They are not); and three, after having had a full meal at 4:30pm, would I need to eat again. I did take a couple of yoghurts, but nothing more.

    Something else that I was concerned about, although not necessarily just then, was that I had not posted either Saturday or Sunday. If I am going to get back to my best weight ever (I am fifty pounds up!) then I have to be on track. My journal is one of the ways that I keep myself accountable to that, even though it has not helped me these last seven months. Getting back on track is extremely important to me, and I am going to do it. Having Leslie doing it with me will make it a bit easier… it is an extremely difficult program, but doing it alone makes it even harder. She and I discussed it this morning and agreed that having each other to keep us company should make it a little easier. I am nervous… but I am going to succeed. I have to. I want to look good in my tuxedo, after all!

    I have a little more energy today than I did yesterday… but not much more. I have work to do so it cannot be the same sort of lazy Sunday as I had yesterday; even though today is a holiday in Canada, I still do most of my work for American companies, and so they have expectations that do not revolve around Queen Victoria’s birthday. Next Monday is Memorial Day in the US, although I still do not know if I am teaching that night or not. I sent an email just now asking for confirmation, although I have to assume that I am. I will also work during the day, as I am now on a writing project that will require no interaction with anyone else.

    I have changed my mind. After I finish writing this entry I am going to run out to pick up food. I am going to check in on the other supermarket to see if they are open, although I dout that they will be. I will pick up my restaurant meal for lunch, and will have the veggie burgers and a salad for dinner. It makes more sense to eat the heavier meal earlier in the day. After lunch I will probably rearrange my office because I am working on a project that will require me to be recorded for the end result, and we (the recording team and I) agreed that having my very busy apartment as a backdrop might work for live classes, but would not work for a proper and professional recording. I will take Princess Sophie to the neighbour’s so that she is not here while I am moving furniture around.

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 721

    After too many days of slight gains, it was a relief to see a significant drop on the bathroom scale this morning. I was dangerously close to the 270 lbs. mark which is not where I want to be. I am going to try to do today what I did yesterday… with one exception.

    What is it, you ask, that I did yesterday different from recent days? For one thing, I had a meal replacement shake for lunch. I did not do this for weight management but rather for time management… I thought I had a lunchtime meeting, so I made the shake so as to be able to participate in the meeting. I sat in the empty Zoom room for thirty minutes before realizing I was a day off on my timing – the meeting is today. Okay, so I will have a meal replacement for lunch again today; maybe I will like what I see on the bathroom scale again tomorrow morning.

    I am going to have to go shopping this afternoon between my afternoon and evening class. While I think I have enough to eat for today and tomorrow (and am flying to Dallas very early Saturday morning), I also know that I am flying home late Wednesday evening, and if I do not shop before I leave then I will not have eggs in the house for breakfast on Thursday… which will be a good excuse to go out to eat at a restaurant. I would rather not have that temptation.

    I’ll see you all tomorrow.

  • Day 636

    I mentioned a couple of days back (and not for the first time) that it is uncomfortable to discuss certain bodily functions such as bowel movements. I have thought it important to discuss these last few weeks because of the difficulties I have had, often for days on end, and then the pain resulting from my hard (and mostly minor) successes in that domain. This is why I am so excited to write that yesterday I had not one or two but three extremely successful (and not painful bowel movements. I literally felt like my bowels had been hoarding for weeks and finally decided to let go of everything. It was such a relief that I cannot begin to put it into words.

    I ran out to run a few errands yesterday and ended up picking up some farm-fresh eggs. I was so excited that I made an omelette for dinner, in addition to making one for breakfast this morning. I really can tell the difference between these, and the store bought eggs that I am used to. The result was absolutely delicious!

    I did not exercise yesterday. I did not even walk to the supermarket (as I mentioned I might). My legs were still feeling a bit wobbly from the previous day’s walk so I decided to take the day off. I might go this afternoon, but there are a number of factors that might interfere with that. We will see.

    With regard to the bathroom scale: I am back on track! Yes, this morning’s reading on the bathroom scale confirmed a new best weight ever. While I am only .2 lb. lighter than I was Sunday morning before my cheat day, I am a full three pounds lighter than I was the following morning. I’ll take that and run… and work hard to continue on track today.

    I am now the lowest weight I’ve ever been… and I am not sure if I have had a meal replacement in the past 4-5 days. I am thrilled that I continue to lose weight without any product. I am going to ride this without making any changes for a little while to see if I can continue to lose the weight doing what I have been doing, and if I can then I am going to put an end to the meal replacements. I have eleven boxes left which I know I would have no trouble selling should I want to do so. I am not ready just yet… let me see if I can continue eating two meals per day (plus cutting out all food after 7:00pm) and still lose weight. If so, then sometime next month I will sell off most of my remaining shakes. Leslie would be disappointed if I did not follow that up with ‘Do you know how many cigars that money could buy?’

    I have an appointment with a tailor today to see if she can alter my sports jackets and vests before I go to Dallas on the weekend. It feels amazing knowing that I need to do that in order for them to continue to fit well! I am not going to try to get my shirts altered, but the jackets and the vests would be nice… and she promised that I would have them back in time for me to take to Texas which is important because Leslie and I are going to a couple of events that will require a jacket and tie. Worst case scenario, I still have other jackets… but I would love to wear these.

    Okay, it is time for me to get a move on. Have a great day folks!

  • Day 608

    Aside from the debacle with the car rental agency, yesterday was a good day in all respects save one. I did not stick to my program. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version: I had my breakfast at the airport (never a good start, although I did not do too badly). On the plane I had a couple of the mini protein bars that are on offer. At the airport in Dallas I tried to buy a sandwich but failed, owing to the abject stupidity of the young lady behind the counter, and knowing that if I had not walked away I would have offended her. I planned to buy the fruit and cheese plate on the second aircraft, but it turns out they do not sell food on shorter flights. It should be noted here that their in-seat guide claims that to be under 1,100 miles, while this flight was 1,235 miles. That changes not the fact that there was no fruit and cheese platter to be had on this flight. In place of same I opted for another of the mini-protein bars. I arrived at my destination hungry, and the 90 minutes I spent fighting with Avis Rent-A-Car (who for this trip can be referred to as the ‘We have your money because you pre-paid so go fuck yourself, Inc.’) did not help. When I pulled into Robert and Cecelia’s driveway at 2:15pm I was hungry, and when they offered me a sandwich I accepted. In the evening I met my buddy David at The Stonehaus and we decided to share a pizza. We then met other friends, and before he dropped me back at the hotel we stopped at CVS and I bought late-night snacks.

    If everything else I did yesterday can be excused, the late-night snacks was a boneheaded decision on my part. I should never have done that, but it is done.

    Result: This morning my weight crept back above 245 lbs. this morning. There can be no doubt as to why, nor that I deserved it.

    I woke up this morning and went for breakfast. I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese (not a smart move, but it was also not the worst I could have done), and three cups of coffee. As I sat there watching my movie it occurred to me that just two years ago I would come to this same restaurant and order two breakfasts… and not the reasonable bagel with lox and cream cheese. This is a huge improvement to be sure.

    I returned to the hotel and changed into my exercise kit. I went out for a 12.5km walk around my old neighbourhood as well as around the lake. It felt good, and it felt great to see that my average per-kilometre pace throughout was under 9:00/km. On my last few walks I have been happy to see a couple of split kilometres under that pace, but for the entire duration? It has never been close.

    I came back from my walk and showered, and before heading out to see my friend at the Stonehaus I made a meal replacement for myself. I would rather go there on a reasonably full stomach than be tempted by… well, there are myriad temptations there.

    At 3:00pm I teach and then I will drive south toward LAX. Leslie will be here in nine hours!!!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 608

    Aside from the debacle with the car rental agency, yesterday was a good day in all respects save one. I did not stick to my program. Here is the Cliff’s Notes version: I had my breakfast at the airport (never a good start, although I did not do too badly). On the plane I had a couple of the mini protein bars that are on offer. At the airport in Dallas I tried to buy a sandwich but failed, owing to the abject stupidity of the young lady behind the counter, and knowing that if I had not walked away I would have offended her. I planned to buy the fruit and cheese plate on the second aircraft, but it turns out they do not sell food on shorter flights. It should be noted here that their in-seat guide claims that to be under 1,100 miles, while this flight was 1,235 miles. That changes not the fact that there was no fruit and cheese platter to be had on this flight. In place of same I opted for another of the mini-protein bars. I arrived at my destination hungry, and the 90 minutes I spent fighting with Avis Rent-A-Car (who for this trip can be referred to as the ‘We have your money because you pre-paid so go fuck yourself, Inc.’) did not help. When I pulled into Robert and Cecelia’s driveway at 2:15pm I was hungry, and when they offered me a sandwich I accepted. In the evening I met my buddy David at The Stonehaus and we decided to share a pizza. We then met other friends, and before he dropped me back at the hotel we stopped at CVS and I bought late-night snacks.

    If everything else I did yesterday can be excused, the late-night snacks was a boneheaded decision on my part. I should never have done that, but it is done.

    Result: This morning my weight crept back above 245 lbs. this morning. There can be no doubt as to why, nor that I deserved it.

    I woke up this morning and went for breakfast. I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese (not a smart move, but it was also not the worst I could have done), and three cups of coffee. As I sat there watching my movie it occurred to me that just two years ago I would come to this same restaurant and order two breakfasts… and not the reasonable bagel with lox and cream cheese. This is a huge improvement to be sure.

    I returned to the hotel and changed into my exercise kit. I went out for a 12.5km walk around my old neighbourhood as well as around the lake. It felt good, and it felt great to see that my average per-kilometre pace throughout was under 9:00/km. On my last few walks I have been happy to see a couple of split kilometres under that pace, but for the entire duration? It has never been close.

    I came back from my walk and showered, and before heading out to see my friend at the Stonehaus I made a meal replacement for myself. I would rather go there on a reasonably full stomach than be tempted by… well, there are myriad temptations there.

    At 3:00pm I teach and then I will drive south toward LAX. Leslie will be here in nine hours!!!

    Have a great day folks!

  • Day 589

    Yesterday I lamented to my wife that I was a bit miffed that the previous day (after having cheated the day before) I lost .6 lb., but yesterday (having stayed on track the day before) I only dropped .2 lb.; she joked that maybe the Peanut Karma lies in wait and takes a couple of days to strike… or something to that effect. I was hoping that it did not stick around too long. I did not cheat at all yesterday; I exercised (1.5km jogging, 10.5km walking). I told Leslie last night that I really hoped – nay, that I was going to be able to cross another number off from the list on the side of my fridge.

    This morning I woke up, did my morning routine (including a minor but nonetheless successful bowel movement), and then walked over to the bathroom scale. With a drop of .8 lb. from yesterday I did indeed drop enough to cross another number off! With that, I am now 1.8 lbs. from tying my best weight ever… and 2 lbs. from surpassing it, dropping below the major milestone of 250 lbs. at the same time. It is not outside the realm of possibility that I will achieve that by early next week, but certainly before next week is out. That is exciting indeed!

    After stepping off the scale I proceeded to get dressed, and when I put my pants on, I pulled the waist up over my hips, just like I said the other day that I wanted to start doing. Two hours later (including a 1.6km walk with a floof) and they are still holding in place. I consider that a very good sign. If it keeps up, then I am going to reconsider my plans for the Hong Kong tailor… I just might add a couple of pair of pants to my order… although that will significantly increase the cost. We shall see… having pants that fit properly is probably an important facet to one’s wardrobe.

    I had my first negative experience with buying and selling of the meal replacements yesterday. When I bought the shakes the other day, I ended up with four boxes of vanilla shakes which are not really to my liking. I had been thinking of selling them, although I had not done anything about it. Out of the blue someone from one of the Facebook groups I am in messaged me and asked if I had any to sell. The short version of the story is that first she tried to haggle with me on the price… even though the price I quoted is quite reasonable. She then told me at 6:00 that she would come to pick them up within half an hour, so I waited at home (even though Her Floofness was asking to go out). At 7:30 I messaged her and told her I would be selling them to someone else. She made every excuse and I feel sorry for her but if she got a message that her child was crying, and she needed to turn around then she could have taken fifteen seconds to message me that she had an emergency and would try to come later. She would not take my NO for an answer. I told her that she disrespected me twice (first by haggling, second by ghosting me) and that I would rather help someone respectful. She persisted, so I told her I was taking my dog for a walk… I would happily deal with my dig’s shit, but not with hers.

    Let me clarify something: I respect that everyone has crap going on in their lives, and I understand hardships and stumbles. If her nine-month-old child was throwing up then that really is too bad, and I feel for her. It is a very good reason to change your plans and it might even be a good reason to get within five minutes of your destination and then turn around to go home. It is not a good reason to ghost someone you made a commitment to. Had she texted me then I might have accommodated her. She only reached out to apologize after she saw on Facebook that I had told people she ghosted her. With all due respect, if she had time to be on Facebook then she could have found the time to text me.

    I have more studying to do today, so after the landscapers are finished outside, I will pick a cigar and sit outside with my laptop. Today’s forecast calls for sunny with a very comfortable high of 23°. Despite the chill that has been in the air the last few mornings, we are not quite done with summer just yet. The forecast high temperatures for the next week range from 27° to 33° and sunny every day… with the overnight lows only dropping below 20° twice. Considering the heat that my wife is enduring in Texas I think it laughable to call it a late-summer heatwave, but for Canada that is just what it is… and I will take full advantage of it, especially since it is a long weekend!

    I have stayed true to the program these last two days… and eight of the last nine. With how hard it has been I consider every day that I stay true to the program a huge victory, and I will do my best to extend that streak today. There may be a thousand opportunities to cheat, but I only have this one opportunity to stay true to my word and to keep on track.

    Speaking of streaks (or at least statistics): With this morning’s weight drop there are now only eight days (including today) when I have weighed at or less than what I do now. From May 23rd through May 28th my weight would drop from 251.8 lbs. to 250 lbs. even… and then bounce back up above 253 on the 29th. I have to figure out how to not let that happen again; I want to see my weight continue to drop, and the only way that I can make sure that happens is to stay disciplined and focused. Even when I am at my ideal weight (whatever that may be) I will have to remember that if I plan to stay there.

    On Day 564 I wrote about the bet my wife and I made. Last night I told her that I was changing the bet, seeing as it is clear that I have an advantage because of my metabolism. If she drops 25 lbs. before I drop 40 lbs. then she is the winner. She told me that was not fair, but I reminded her that I have already dropped eleven pounds to the six that she has dropped in the same period… and I have cheated several times in there. Frequent readers might remember my wondering if she might have made the bet to encourage me to stay on track; maybe giving her a point spread is my way of incentivizing her to stay true to the program… especially on days when it is so hard that you just want to give up. I’ll let you in on a little secret… I would be extremely happy if we tied on this bet!

    According to the online calculators I have 19 lbs. to go before my Body Mass Index (BMI) drops below 30, which is the threshold between overweight and obese. It is almost laughable that I am working hard to be overweight, but that is how the medical community sees my next goal after dropping below 250 lbs. Although I doubt I knew anything about BMI back then I have no recollection of ever being anything other than obese after the Army… and looking at the calculator I know that even when I was an elite soldier in the best shape of my life I would still have been classified as obese. To fall under the Normal category for my height I would have to weigh 194 lbs. or less. Before Basic Training I weighed 220 lbs. As I have written previously, the BMI scale does not take muscle mass into account. I do not know if I will ever drop to 194 lbs., or even if I want to try. What I do want is for my body weight to be healthy. As I have said before, I lived too many years ‘playing with the house’s money.’ The fact that I stayed healthy all these years despite my obesity… well, how long can I expect that to go on? No… it is time for me to be slim and healthy.

    I have not heard the power mowers and trimmers for a few minutes, so it is likely the landscapers have moved on. As such, so will I. As I am fond of saying, it is now Cigar O’Clock, and time for me to sit on the balcony to study.

    Have a great day folks!